13 Signs She’s Flirting With You

I get that we women, can be very confusing with our signals. I can only imagine what goes on in your head when talking to women. We’re pretty damn confusing with our signs, signals and body language.

It’s my job to alleviate the confusion and tell you exactly what the subtle signals mean so that you stop missing out on incredible opportunities with women.

Below are 13 Signs She’s Flirting With You:

1. A smile. This is the simplest flirt there is, and the hardest to misinterpret. If a woman smiles at you from across the room, a “slow smile” not a nervous or forced smile.this means that she wants you to talk to her.

2. The hair twirl. This is something that I do when I am into a guy and want him to be attracted to me. I twirl my hair, touch my lips and bat my eyes. All very feminine flirty things that, as women, we feel will make a man turned on and more attracted to us.

3. A “Wardrobe Change”.  It’s definitely a sign when she returns from the bathroom with new lip gloss applied, her hair tossed and a one less button done up.

4. A cry for help. “If a woman asks you for assistance in any way, such as, ‘Excuse me, could you help me figure out the tip on this bar tab? I’ve never had to pay one before,’ she’s flirting with you. I have definitely done this one many times.  Asked for help when it was not needed just to catch someone’s attention. “Can you help me lift this heavy chair for me?”. I do Yoga and weight training and could totally lift it myself but why do it yourself when there is a cute guy that could do it for you.

5. Lightly touching you while talking.  BIG SIGN!!!  If I find several ways to slightly touch you or get close, I’m into you.  BUT if I freely and comfortable touch you multiple times throughout our conversation, I see you as a “friend” or “non-threatening”. Not a flirting sign. The slight differences in flirty touch vs. friend touch are so discrete, it’s hard for many men to tell the difference. I talk about this more in depth in my program What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind with 3 of my girlfriends.

6. Twisting my body away from you but still engaging in conversation.  When I flirt, I too want to be mysterious. So I’ll go back and forth between facing you and not facing you while in conversation. This will also help me calm down and get more comfortable.

7. Fidgeting. Tossing her hair, twists her pinky ring, or snaps her hairband, this counts as flirtatious behavior if and only if (and these are big “ifs” and “onlys”) she maintains uninterrupted eye contact. If she keeps glancing away, she may very well be repulsed by you and wants to get away as soon as possible. When I am attracted to someone I stumble over my words and fidget. We all get nervous.

8. Proximity. If she’s trying to get close to you, she’s flirting! If she’s constantly moving away, she’s sending you a subtle signal to back off, she’s not into you that way. A woman will get closer to you in proximity. You may even get the feeling she is hovering around you or trying to eavesdropping on your conversations.Women who do not want to be around you will physically back away from you. If she is into you she will lightly touch you in some way.

9. Lively banter and laughing.  She will be laughing at all of your jokes… even the unfunny ones  (another powerful flirting sign). When I am attracted to a guy, I will be fascinated by anything that comes out of his mouth. Remember, if a woman is NOT interested she will give you single-word answers and nod. If you have a woman engaged but you can tell she is slightly nervous, it’s a sign she is into you.

10. Lack of inhibition. This is a tricky one because most women who are that comfortable with you right off the bat are usually not attracted to you. Therefore they may freely reveal lots of private information with little worry because there is no attraction to be lost. It depends on the conversation. In this case I would need to hear more about what information was actually exchanged to give a good assessment as to whether she was interested.

11. Interview Time.  She’ll ask you questions about yourself.  What is your name? How old are you? What do you do for a living? Many men think that questions are a sign of testing, when in fact they are a sign of interest.  She’s asking you questions because she wants the full picture.  REMEMBER: Giving responses are important BUT the way you respond will dictate her attraction levels.  I talk more about this in How To Become A Man Women Want, Step 1. Click Here To Read More…

12. Compliments & Digs.  You know how people say that loving and hating someone is pretty much the same thing. Well the same is true with compliments and insults.  If she’s complimenting you a lot or giving you digs like “oh you’re a player” or “I bet you like that girl”, SHE’S FLIRTING!!

13. What Are You Doing Next Weekend??  She’s definitely flirting with you if she start to come up with future plans.  For instance, she’ll mention a band that she wants you to see. Or she’ll literally say, what are you doing next weekend? When I am flirting with a guy, I want to seal the deal and lock him down.  BUT if he eagerly responds to my invites, I’m over it.  I remember when I was doing a TV show with Jennifer Love Hewitt and we had a “female date”, she turned me off by over inviting me to things.  I could tell she liked me because she invited me to do something that coming weekend. That made me happy but I said to her “l’ll check my calendar and let you know”.  Before the night was over, she had invited me to 3 more things.

Bonus From Marni: Probably the most important sign of all that let’s you know a woman is TOTALLY into you. When in the “approach” phase, if a woman starts bragging about something off topic from what you are discussing, she is attempting to show value. A.K.A She’s attracted.

Now that you know these 13 (kind of 14) Signs She’s Flirting With You, you can start to capitalize on these opportunities.

There are 1000’s of little things that men don’t know about women. But I guarantee if you knew them, it would put you in the top 1% of men that have their choice of women they want.  I can tell every little thing you need to know about women. Including the things that women would never want you to know. Read More…



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  • A very solid post, Marni!

    I just thought I’d weigh in on a couple of these:

    1 – It’s hard to argue with this… smiles are great… but are you sure that chick wasn’t trying to AMOG you Marni?… 🙂

    4 – This was interesting, because I’m used to seeing this from a very different side… in my Army days, we referred to the typical male response to the cry for help as Captain Save-A-Ho… you see, Captain Save-A-Ho is more than happy to buy gifts, help you move, or even pay bills just for the dream of one day being considered as a sexual partner. Of course, these girls didn’t stop with simple requests… which is likely the critical difference.

    9 – I’ve also seen guys really kill attraction with dull conversation. I had a buddy (who happened to be an Air Force Sargent) almost blow it with a girl that was really into him… by talking about some of the technical specifics of launching and maneuvering satellites… I deserve some sort of award for acting as a solid wing above and beyond the call of duty that night… but that’s another tale.

    One last thought… one of the most common challenges for guys is being stuck in their head about what everything means… and not remaining present with the lovely lady in front of them. Understanding common IOI’s is useful… but don’t obsess… it can end up being just another distraction.


  • Romyl

    Great Call Mack 😉 if I may go abit deeper, knowing this list became a distraction for me ages ago; I noticed as I became more attracted to myself and my own life to share, they did too, i dont blame them I would to 😉

    • Marni


      That is awesome and exactly where you need to get to. I always say “if you aren’t turning yourself on, you’re never going to turn a lady on”.

      These “steps” or “signs” are the basics. The beginners system if you will. People need to understand the basics first before they get to a level of clarity like you did!

  • blogster

    Agreed generally pretty good post – particularly Marni’s comments on each signal.

    To add to the touching thing, one thing I’ve noticed with women intersted in me is a very light ‘accidental’ brushing or making of body contact with her body. For example, with a girl recently, we were sitting at a table and her foot and knee would continually make slight contact with my leg under the table. When she lightly pressed it up against mine and didn’t remove it, I understood – and didn’t jerk my leg away either, letting her know that…. 😉

    In addition, another one I’ve found is when a woman laughs at your jokes and they are only moderately funny – fits in under 9. In addition, continually asking questions about you is a good one…

    And Marni is right I think about their level of inhibition – all women I know have been attracted or interested in me display this level of awkwardness – of course how awkward is too putting off and indicates lack of confidence is something you must determine.

  • Another indirect indication of flirting, is a woman that is practically dancing in her seat she’s just begging to have a confident guy walk up to her and ask her to dance. Keep in mind with the looking at her feet from afar if she is also tapping her foot, she’s feeling some high energy.

    Very good points you guys, hope you are enjoying London Marni… 🙂

  • sunny

    this is bull-shit i guess. if a person start looking for signs like weather she is playing with her hair, licking lips, unbutton dress, then where he will focus…..a guy will lose his words…..woman knows when guys start flirting. ex:- if a girl calls on phone and u say u have sweet voice(this is flirting).

  • god.good god human

  • Bob

    I already don’t want to know.

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  • Clayton

    Awesome article! I am going to have to read it several times before I remember most of these signs. Maybe, I will bookmark it on my iPhone for when I need it.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Bookmark ahead Clayton- glad you liked it 🙂

  • Chris

    That is great something I didn’t know before except the twirling of the hair,thanks for the advise

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Glad you found it useful Chris 🙂

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  • James

    Marni, the bonus comment and the nervous turning away…. are these common traits women show, or just what you did… i.e., in that account of your first one night standard when that tiny short guy picked you up…. Could you please tell us how to be successful like he was, and get a same night, instead of the tedious long drawn out multiple date approach…. I would love for once in my life to be able to pull a girl the same night…. (I know about that hand slapping statement he said to win you over….) – I bet he has down that a hundred times!

    But you said you and some other women were attracted to him because he was buying his friends drinks, being noisy and gregarious…. How did he then so quickly pick you to approach at closing time? He must have scoped out the available women in the bar and planned his approach…. I would love to know what would have been the process….

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Jim

      that’s quite a long description and explanation- so email me, or let’s set up a consultation to chat break this down properly. In short though (no pun on the guy’s height intended!) the guy was so attractive to me because:

      – he was socially attractive to all of my friends, and gave signs he felt totally at ease with us
      – he was playful and dared to tease me a little!
      – he combined this gregarious approach with making me feel special

      That is definitely a skill: but it’s one that every guy can learn

      Marni 🙂

  • Dominick

    Hi Marni,
    My name is Dominick and I was writing to you because I have a very important question. Why is it that women alway are interested in person and say their interested when texting but as I keep texting them they wind up not meeting up with me again? If they do they continue to like me, the thing is I have a problem of thinking their with another guy when their not with me, I want to be the only one that they look forward to and chase after. This has become a real hassle as I’ve lost a few great girls , I don’t want it to continue any longer I want them to stay interested.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Dominic

      Sounds to me like whatever you’re texting isn’t working for you. I’d suggest keeping it shorter and more direct, and arranging to meet for your second date way faster. Remember, you’re an in demand guy so be direct, set up a date, then leave it!

      Marni 🙂

  • Dominick

    What are some good things to text and keep them interested ? I just met this woman today at the gym and she was with her friend I knew , I choked when it came to asking for her number but u asked for her Facebook , because I felt awkward her friend was standing there. But we played basketball together and I showed her how to shoot one and flirted a little bit , she commented that she liked my shirt so I felt that she was interested, but I messaged her on Facebook when she left and said, ” Id rather just take your number” is that okay ?

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Dominick

      It sounds like she’s driving this one forward! I’d say be masculine and direct here, take her number and give her a call

      Marni 🙂

  • Smitty

    I have a woman who reports to me, we are both married but there has always been some sexual tension. Lately, we have been having more opportinity to work one-on-one with a project wich has included lunches. She has been touching my foot and leg slightly inder the table, even resting her foot for a bit on my leg, I don’t move mine, truth is I am very turned on by her playfulness. She always says that she is sorry, but i have to think it is intentional because it happens often The problem is, as her boss, I can’t escalate the flirting, but I sure wish she would!

    We are both very happily married, but I have a hunch she would also be okay with having some fun with each other for a bit.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Smitty

      It certainly sounds like this woman is giving you some queues that she’s interested. BUT there’s a mismatch here between being tempted to have some fun ‘on the side’ and being happily married. I’d refocus on what you want from your relationships and then pick one or the other, don’t try to combine both!

      Marni 🙂

    • TPAINE

      Smitty…that’s an awful “shitty” thing to do to your wife! “A man who commits adultery destroys his own soul!” Oh, by the way, that’s God’s words, not mine.

      • theleftman

        Take your antiquated religious ideology and judgement somewhere else douchebag. Let grown adults be grown adults.

        • Perrius Maximus

          Take your self righteous indignation, leftman, and go f@#k yourself. Leave it to a “left” man to rush in and defend the idea of adultery. @$$hole. Smitty….take a play from TPAINE’s book here….and one from my own; Cheating on your spouse WILL destroy your soul….Not to mention your marriage, your children and every other aspect of your current life. Unless you are a soul-less prick, your conscience will do nothing but eat at you. Proceed with caution.

          • dg12

            I guess telling people to 1) fornicate with themselves,calling them, 2) sphincters, pretending to know what, 3) will destroy your soul. Legalistic Maximus suits you…

          • jaoude

            Smitty, do not listen to Tpaine and Perssius – they are stupid. Just be careful, when you cheat you could lose your family.

        • disqus_XTlLBKTUb6

          Yeah its all good until someone gets hurt, you are no adult you are just an oversized teenager.

    • Unknown

      I agree completely I have the same thing happing I would like to know too

  • Roman Farmer

    Well, all these signs are great if you can actually get together with the girl you like. What if you met her online (which is not advisable, I know). But I got to know her rather intimately and we’re getting along fine. This is a first time for me, liking someone online and I even don’t go for long distance relationships (she’s in another country), but something in her makes me want to try. So, are there any signs, any set of words I can lookout for to know that she’s into me. Honestly? If she is, I have no problem hauling my ass to where she is and I think that will be romantic. Thanks.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Roman,
      There are written things which indicate a woman’s interest as if in ‘real life’.
      Asking questions, smileys, kisses at the end of her messages can demonstrate this but phone calls and video messages will relay a ton more cues, especially if you’re thinking of getting serious.
      Marni 😀

  • Ian

    Hi Marni,
    Recently I was at a hip-hop show and I was introduced to girl ( a friend of a friend introduced me). I think she was with a guy, I’m not totally sure if they are a couple or just friends. Anyway, at one point during the night, she winked at me. And then at the end of the show, she asked me if I was going to the next hip-hop show which is in March. Is winking always a sign of flirting, or is it harmless in some cases?

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hi Ian,
      Winking can be a possible IOI but you need to question if she used it alongside any other cues of interest.
      Was she talking to you a lot? Did she smile or laugh at your conversation? Was there more than usual kino?
      It isn’t accurate to take winking in isolation as a sign of flirtation but if it is part of a cluster of other attraction signs then there’s potential.
      Marni 😀

  • These are certainly helpful tips I need to get familiar with…however, Marni would you say she is also flirting with you when she always ask that you two go off from work at the same time, or she is frequently asking you to assist her do bits of her work?

  • Carlos Collaguazo

    Very good signs, am looking forward for these.

  • alfred hitchcock

    Thank you for making these blogs Marni

  • Dking

    none of this shit would be necessary if it werent for blooody retarded female nature be honest and secure and not vague and you might find guys will respond better to that

    • Pete


  • Boy Without Batteries

    Whats up with girls making plans with me and then breaking them off the day were supposed to hangout? I’m Just gonna keep listening to pop punk, eat pizza and hang with my friends. Also, if she does not want to see a pop punk band. I’m out.

    • Shawn

      Got the right idea Mate!.

  • kingdo goodbomber

    Interesting. This is also an exact list of things women do to lead men on and manipulate them in order to get something out of them.

    • Pete

      aint that the truth. cant trust women. ive been used by so many i proceed with EXTREME caution now. ive made mistakes and stumbled in my own faith because of one i got caught up with…its a tough lesson to learn and im still trying to figure all the confusion out after 2 years..

  • Arpeggien

    It’s funny ( or not so funny) My wife exhibits almost every one of these signs when she is hanging out with her male friends, or when she meets someone new ( always male, she has no female friends). UGGGGHH!

    • fee

      stay away from that one, always a better woman out there

  • Sentient

    Hilarious! All the way down to the classic bait and lure to spend your money in order to attract women. Want to know what attracts a girl? Not spending your hard-earned money reading some e-book or watching some DVD designed to teach you how to play head games. What a crock.

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  • Amaninder Singh

    1,2,6,7,11,12. These points always happen to me. I am 13 years old. 12 girls of my class ( out of 24 girls) flirt with me . I know this because I have noticed them. Out of 24 only 2 girls are, our class boys says that these 2 girls should be mine gf. Those 2 girls also flirt with me. Please tell me what to do.I don’t know anything about this. I discreet about doing something wrong in the class to give them both a good impression. Both the girls always look at me and smile and smile and smile. One girl also talk to me but when I am alone somewhere and slightly touch me 1 or 2 times. And the other girl, she can talk to me anywhere but like the previous one she talks better when I am alone. Tell me what to do!!!! Please!!!!!! (sorry for my grammar)

  • Amaninder Singh

    24 girls)
    ( correction of the message box)
    1or 2 times