Do You Know These 10 Signs She’s Flirting With You?
09. Jun, 2009 
10 Comments
Want to know 10 easy ways to spot if a woman is flirting with you?
Now, I don’t believe in waiting for signs before you take action. When considering approaching a woman the only thing you need to be thinking is: “I am interested in her and want to know more.”
BUT once you get into a conversation with a woman, it can be difficult for men to spot the female flirting signs.
First, signs she is NOT interested:
-No eye contact
-Body shifted away from you
-Arms crossed
-Leaning back
-Looking around the room while you are talking
-Nodding and instead of responding
-Giving 1 word responses
-Being overly friendly
If you see these signs, RUN. Get away and get over this woman. She’s not into you.
Now onto signs you should be looking for.
I recently came across an article by Bob Strauss, for Match.com’s Happen magazine, on the 10 female signs of flirting, and I’ve added my own 2 cents to each of his points.
Let me know your thoughts and experiences!
Article:
1. A smile. This is the simplest flirt there is, and the hardest to misinterpret. If a woman smiles at you from across the room, this means that she wants you to talk to her. Really. (Though once this happened to me, and as I approached the lady in question she said, “Oh, I’m sorry! I thought you were someone else.”)
Marni: Remember, don’t wait for a smile. You like her your approach her and then you decide. If you have a situation where the woman says “whoops thought you were someone else” let her know it was okay for her to make that mistake but you are still sticking around cause you want to know more about her “whoops, I think your hot and could have a good personality that I may like. Let’s see if you do”.
2. The hair twirl. Just about every person I interviewed mentioned that the girly, unselfconscious habit of playing with her hair means that a woman is open to your advances. So if you say hello and she’s wrapping her locks around her finger, well, all signals say: Keep chatting.
Marni: This is something that I do when I am into a guy and want him to be attracted to me. I twirl my hair, touch my lips and bat my eyes. All very feminine flirty things that, as women, we feel will make a man turned on and more attracted to us.
3. An unbuttoned button. Watch for a blouse that isn’t as closed up as it might usually be, says image consultant Dianne M. Daniels. “No, she won’t be stripping off her clothes in front of you, but if she doesn’t immediately re-wrap that scarf so you don’t see her cleavage, it could be a sign that she’s interested.”
Marni: This may or may not be a flirting sign. But it’s definitely a sign when she returns from the bathroom with new lip gloss applied, her hair tossed and a one less button done up.
4. A cry for help. “If a woman asks you for assistance in any way, such as, ‘Excuse me, could you help me figure out the tip on this bar tab? I’ve never had to pay one before,’ she’s flirting with you by indulging your psychological need to feel like a hero,” says Py Kim Conant, author of Sex Secrets of an American Geisha.
Marni: I have definitely done this one many times. Asked for help when it was not needed just to catch someone’s attention. “Can you help me lift this heavy chair for me?”. I do Yoga and weight training and could totally lift it myself but why do it yourself when there is a cute guy that could do it for you.
5. A well-placed double entendre. Says Debbie Mandel, author of Turn on Your Love Light, “When a woman is flirting, she’ll invest the conversation with subtle double meanings, and most everything she says will have an erotic undercurrent, even unremarkable phrases like ‘I really like your tie.’”
Marni: I don’t know about double entendres but for me, if I make a statement like this one I am FLIRTING. Unless I say it point blank or over the top. This is an important to note. Women who are overly comfortable with you are NOT usually into you.
6. Happy feet. “Consciously, a woman may play hard to get by twisting her upper body away, but her feet show where her interest really is,” says TV personality Dr. Diana Kirschner. “A clueless guy should ask her some friendly questions, then watch carefully to see if she starts opening up nonverbally by pointing her toes in your direction.” (Note for beginners: Be subtle about glancing under the table.)
Marni: Often very true.
7. Fidgeting. This one cuts both ways, but the experts concur: If a gal constantly tosses her hair, twists her pinky ring, or snaps her hairband, this counts as flirtatious behavior if and only if (and these are big “ifs” and “onlys”) she maintains uninterrupted eye contact. If she keeps glancing away, she may very well be repulsed by you and wants to get away as soon as possible.
Marni: Very true. As I said above about double entendres, when I am attracted to someone I stumble over my words and fidget. We all get nervous.
8. Proximity. “If a woman stays inside a ‘safe distance’, then she’s probably interested in you, especially if she’s not the touchy-feely type,” Daniels says (of course, this advice doesn’t necessarily apply if you’re talking in a crowded, noisy club). “Also, watch for any lingering touches where she doesn’t immediately remove her hand.”
Marni: True. Women who do not want to be around you will physically back away from you. If she is into you she will lightly touch you in some way.
9. Lively banter. For many women, flirting is a non-button-popping, non toe-pointing no-brainer: They merely listen to what you have to say, and interject meaningful, encouraging comments. If she’s not interested, she’ll yawn during your yarn about parachuting behind enemy lines during Gulf War I. If she is interested, she’ll expostulate endlessly about how fascinating the shoe business can be.
Marni: I have done this myself when I am attracted to a guy. I will be fascinated by anything that comes out of his mouth. Remember, if a woman is NOT interested she will give you single-word answers and nod. If you have a woman engaged but you can tell she is slightly nervous, it’s a sign she is into you.
10. Lack of inhibition. I’m as cloddish as the next guy, but I still fondly remember the time I met a gal at a cocktail party and, within five minutes, we were talking about how old we were when we lost our virginity. (Alas, she already had a boyfriend, but I still cling desperately to the belief that it was a genuine flirt maneuver…)
Marni: This is a tricky one because most women who are that comfortable with you right off the bat are usually not attracted to you. Therefore they may freely reveal lots of private information with little worry because there is no attraction to be lost. Make sure that the woman is showing you at least 3 others signs of she is flirting before using this sign as a positive indicator.
I wanted to add in 1 more of my own that I discovered this past weekend.
11. Fighting for validation or as I like to refer to it “impressing a guy with facts about me”. I almost kicked myself when I started noticing that I was doing this. It was almost as if I was screaming “I have value!!!!”.
This is a huge sign that you have created attraction. When a woman starts to validate herself to you, slipping in facts about why she’s great, it’s a sure fire sign that you have ignited the fire within! You have her bubbling and it’s showing through her nerves and desire for you to pay attention to her.
Bonus From Marni: Probably the most important sign of all that let’s you know a woman is TOTALLY into you. When in the “approach” phase, if a woman starts bragging about something off topic from what you are discussing, she is attempting to show value. A.K.A She’s attracted.
So now the big question is, “WHAT DO I DO ONCE I KNOW A WOMAN IS FLIRTING?” Seeing the signs is one thing but taking action is another.
There are 1000′s of little things that men don’t know about women. But I guarantee if you knew them, it would put you in the top 1% of men that have their choice of women they want. I can tell every little thing you need to know about women. Including the things that women would never want you to know. Read More…
Listen to Marni. Her every point is undeniable. And yet, it might be worth hanging around someone whose instantly comfortable with you. Most often not, but in rare cases, very worth it. If she’s as comfortable you as with her brother or best gay friend, she’s not flirting with you–yet. But if you are not brother and sister, and not gay, it could mean you two are so compatible that she doesn’t even consider feeling nervous. You may have to start out as best friends, at least for an hour or two, but make your intentions clear and see what happens. Could be you’re soul mates. Could be you end up married.
And the case where a woman smile from across the room, thinking you were someone else, is another time a man with any patience should hang around. Something about you reminded her of someone she would be very glad to see. Stick around to discover whether that quality is superficial or something more.
Nonverbals are indeed crucial… and more often than not, guys are so into their scripts that they fail to read women nonverbals…
Make it about her, and if there´s a glimpse of uninterest in you, kindly back off. Who knows, your withdrawal might as well turn her on!!!
That the way i’m always do for flirt the girl…hahahahaha…thanks buddy for the nice article..Good luck buddy to make girl flirt to you..
Can somebody give me some feedback!!!!
THere is this girl I’ve seen for 3 times in the salsa club. I danced salsa with her 3 times. The third time was last wenesday.. We were dancing and she keep looking at my eyes and smiling. Her body and my body were very close more then normally is. MY QUESTION IS IF I SHOULD HAVE KISSED HER THERE?????. That night I asked her what she was doing on Friday night. She told me a friend of her was having a party and she invited me to her friends party on Friday. That night (wenesday) I agreed with her to go to the Hip Hop club on Saturday. I went to the party and I saw her. That morning when I got home I sent her some text messages saying that I like her as a girl not just a friend. She told me that she did like spending time with me and that we should first go on a date that’s when we agree to Saturday but then the friend thing came up. We were suppost to go out on saturday night to dance. But she kind flake on me because she told me a friend from out of town was on town.
I had coffe with her today (Sunday). And I don’t think she likes me in a boyfriend type of way. She did tell me that she enjoyed spending time with me. Do YOU GUYS THINK I LANDED IN THE FRIEND ZONE BECAUSE I DIDN’T KISSED HER ON WENESDAY WHILE WE WERE DANCING?????? Today when we were having coffe I touched her several times. But she never touched me nowhere and her body was not facing me so that’s why I figure she doesn’t like in the way I want her to like me!!!!
I know we will just be friend but I want to learn from my mistake and do better next time.
ANY FEEDBACK AND COMMENTS WILL BE TRULY VALUE!!!!!
I am going to need more information than this to decided whether or not you have been banished to the friend zone forever. I want to hear more about her response to your text. She told you in advance that she has plans with friends on saturday so I am not 100% sure she is a flake.
What I do know is that you did not screw up on Wednesday by not kissing her. There are several more opportunities to man up and kiss her you just need to go get that kiss.
It sounds like you are not sure of yourself which is the #1 attraction killer.
If you want to talk about this further and figure out EXACTLY what to do to get this girl then write me at marni@winggirlmethod.com.
I don’t believe in being banished to the friend zone forever. Somewhere, deep within, every girl has visualized that “what if” fantasy. All that it might take to bring you out of the friend zone and into the “hmmm.. what if” zone, could be a small gesture of interest.
If you continue to act like her friend, she will continue to treat you like one. I think on average, women shy away from making that “first move” on a friend, or even bringing up the possibility. It’s on you to get out of the friend zone, and usually it takes more than a simple, “hey wanna mess around?” or “i love you!”… you have to be coy about it. Women are all about the challenge. You can’t deliver it to her on a silver platter. You have to spark the interest and let it percolate. I think of it like a game, almost. And women love games of romance. And that is the key, my friend, on getting out of the friend zone. Romance. Think of things that you can do that show her that you care about her, and that you’re sensitive to her interests. If she is complaining to you about something in her life, find a way to contribute or give her something related to that area. I.e. if she’s been texting you about her car trouble, show up at her place some weekend and tell her you want to look at her car for her. You have to dangle the lure, and almost tease her to snatch it. This takes patience, determination, but also A LOT of finesse. You have to woo her.
Think of it this way. The friendship you both built up has to be systematically deconstructed and reconstructed into a potential relationship. So, if she’s ranting at you about another guy, tell her you don’t want to hear about him. If she asks you why, say that you just don’t like hearing her talk about other guys so much. And leave it at that, and change the subject. Don’t over-explain it, and if she prods you to, don’t give in. Let it peculate! That night, she’ll be lying in bed thinking about it, and that’s right where you want her to be.
I think you can figure it out from there.
I’m no professional. This is just what I would do if I wanted one of my female friends to think about me in “that way.” It’s definitely a challenge, so make sure it’s something you want. Cause, worst case scenario is you ruining the friendship you two have built. If you just want to mess around with her, I’d say it’s not worth it. Good friends are hard to come by in the way the world is now. You can always find a girl to mess around with, but a true friend is rare. So think long about it before you make any move. GL
Nice website and great information. There is a lot of mis information about how to flirt with girls that I have found, so it
in my opinion a kiss in the club would’ve been great on that night in the salsa club BTW I’m a mexicano so take it from me salsa dancing is a great way to meet an project your self to a girl its a great way to get intimate without committing to unwelcome flirting and its a great way to read each others body language so great choice but a kiss would’ve been way to seal the night off and make your intentions clear but you still might have a chance if you play this right. when u went to the party what i would’ve done if the situation permitted is as i entered the party if i could instantly locate her but don’t approach her instead not let her see me until i wanted her too if there’s alcohol at the party (which i assume there is) go find the beer preferably a keg because there’s usually people hanging around it find a someone to start a conversation with someone or all of them if you are that good of a conversationalist but try to make sure the person/people you are talking to are not the quiet drunk types you want to talk to the people who have the eyes and ears of the party if u can and if you can try to get a group of girls in the conversation as to what u should talk about try something you know about/ are passionate about with me its alcohol I’m a connoisseur and its easy to jump into a conversation about something like that at a party and when you know a lot about the subject remember the bigger the impression you make on the party the better now if you’ve accomplished this try to make yourself be seen by her try to get her attention by maybe say talking to another girl at the party (not to make her jealous but to show her that you are comfortable with the fairer sex) crack a joke make the girl you’re talking laugh try and make sure she sees you doing this this will show her you’re a confident individual who deserves her attention someone she needs to be around to have fun remember if you’re the life of the party everyone will want your company including any girl you’re trying to catch the attention of make her seek you out and say “oh hey i was just about to go look for you!” or some variation of that remember never use lines! always speak in the moment! women can sense something that is rehearsed OK that rambling is over now the Sunday date coffee not such a good idea coffee’s not intimate enough it doesn’t send a clear enough message an try not to have a day date something intimate at night is better we as people tend to look forward to nights out instead of the day it takes a HELL-OF-A-DATE to leave an all day impact on her you want her to be thinking about the great time she had with you for the remainder of the day it would take a big impression to have her thinking about the date she was just on all day and all night i hoped this helped from one guy to another
Some of these are kinda walking the thin line. I think if you’re studying the positioning of a girl’s feet that you’re being a little too analytical. Even if it’s true, how would you tell the difference? People tend to stand the same way, even if they aren’t interested in you. I also think that if you’re interested in the girl, you will try to find ways to convince yourself that she is flirting, even if she isn’t. Self-fulfilling prophecy. “Oh, yea, she definitely just adjusted her sweater cause she’s into me!” Or.. maybe she was just uncomfortable? Or maybe she fidgets when she’s stressed out or preoccupied. I dunno, it’s good to look out for signs of interest, but I think some of these things could go either way, and don’t really prove a girl’s interest one way or the other. I think the rule of thumb should be: 1) does she touch you more than other people? and her touch is lingering? 2) does she find reasons to come near you/talk to you/get you to talk to her? 3) does she try to make herself stand out from other girls in the area (either by standing closer to you, or in your line of site, or by talking louder than them, etc.) These things are usually sure-fire signs of her interest in you. But if you’re focusing on her foot position, or the buttons on her blouse, she might think you’re the one interested in her, and maybe she’s just being polite or possibly flirting back at you! haha