20 Things That Attract Women

20 Things That Attract Women

1. A man that is a LEADER not a FOLLOWER.

2. Men who are direct and ask for what they want, rather than tippy toeing around it – e.g. If you see a woman you want, approach her. Don’t try to be “friendly” and cover up that you find her attractive. Be direct and find out if you are attracted to her. If so, then ask for her number. Get what YOU want.

3. Men who have their own ‘full life’ that they can become a part of.

4. A man that has boundaries – e.g. I will not contact a woman who flakes on me. She must contact me and do the work to set up another date.
- For more information on how to create boundaries Click Here.

5. Men who understand female insecurity and know how to handle such tension with ease.

6. Men that have their own beliefs and passions.

7. A man that is comfortable with himself and can speak his mind.

8. A man that can listen without being defensive. (defensive = insecurity, open up to listening and compromise = strength and security)

9. A man that is able to make things happen (being proactive).

10. A man who doesn’t need a woman, but wants her in his life.

11. Men who are nice but not wimpy.

12. A man who is not afraid to touch a woman – Touch her softly on the small of her back, on the shoulder, or her hand.

13. A man that is not afraid to try new things – e.g. wear 1 article of clothing that is slightly out of your comfort zone each week.

14. A man that knows he has options.

15. Men that compliment because they mean it, not because they have nothing else to say.

16. A man that is confident during conversation.

17. Men that create their own lines of conversation, instead of borrowing from others.

18. A man that has emotional control a.k.a he does not let emotions rule his actions.

19. A man that is interesting and interested.

20. Men that can guide the conversation, not dominate it. (Men should be talking 25% to a woman’s 75%)

21. BONUS – A Man who is a Masculine Man

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  • JIM

    “34. Do not use canned pick up lines. They make you seem like you are 50″

    Gee thanks. I’ll be 55 next week.

    But I agree with you about the Pickup Lines.

    However, I did come up with my own (well, it’s a famous line, but it’s my adaptation in that context) line…

    “Are You a Good Witch or a Bad Witch?”

    Perhaps what also makes a difference is timing; it may sound contrived as an opener, but be a clever reference if used later in the conversation.

    • Ira

      You know – you are an ass. age has nothing to with it. I’ll bet that I do so much better than you , because you are nothing more than a stupid punk – and I am a man.

  • J.R.Magdos

    I have done most of the required things that are supposedly make me more attractive to women, and it is a load of crap. Why doesn’t the women have to conform? reguardless of what you give for hints it has been my experiance that the woman always goes with the bad boy! Reguardless of their age (The womans age) They may say they want all these things but will choose the bad boy! Always! p.s. I am 65 yrs old and this is the way it is.

    • NotDead

      ever think about why that is man? Confusia say “stairs yeild more reward than elevator“ any one can act like a bad boy, its not hard ( just stop caring about everything, or adopt the Sheen method). But a true master has no need for masks for they already know who they are; knowledge is power. Sure you you may have learned alot bud, but you can always learn more, She knows what shes talking about and has the experince to back it. can you say the same?

      • Marni Wing Girl

        I totally agree that we can all always learn more: in fact I think the more you learn, and the more open minded you become; then the more you discover that there is to learn. I know I certainly feel this way about myself and how I want to develop & grow

        Marni :)

  • Xavier

    I completely agree with you! Even though I don’t have all the experience that you have, I’ve come to realise that indeed it’s always the bad boy who wins, no matter what you could possibly try if you’re one of the “nice guys”. It’s so frustrating! Women are not logical, they say they want a nice, caring man, but in the reality, nice guys always finish last! It’s as if men should have at the same time two completely opposite personnalities (the nice one and the “bad boy” one)…I say, it’s too much asked of us men!

    • Dan

      J.R. and Xavier – you’re missing the whole point. Women don’t like bad guys. They like the qualities that bad guys often posses (just about everything on this list, except for the nice in #11.) No woman wants to be treated like crap any more than you do. But confidence, assertiveness, having boundaries, etc (i.e. masculine qualities) those are things that woman are attracted to and just so happen to often be found in “bad guys”.

      • Marni Wing Girl

        Hey Dan

        I love how you put this across and I totally agree. Women like to be treated well, but by a confident, masculine guy that they respect
        :)

    • http://rich_muffy@hotmail.com rich

      nah xavier

      TREAT PEOPLE WELL. That is the underlying code here. When they talk about leadership behavioural theory, this is the code.

      The “bad” fellas have alot of confidence, and sway and lead people well. I assume you say “bad” because they also don’t treat the women properly. I don’t understand why the women stay with them tho….maybe it’s because they love us more than we love them……or because they love us more than we love our selves.

      I believe a man’s biggest value is subtle assured confidence, and the ability to love himself and women, God to. This is what I aim for

      • Marni Wing Girl

        Hey Rich

        Really like your comment, ‘I believe a man’s biggest value is subtle assured confidence, and the ability to love himself and women…’ amen to that

        Marni :)

        • PhilosopherKing

          God, the missing element in all secular discourse, leaving it dry, facing reality incompletely.

          “A man without religion should be pitied. A woman without religion is a horror beyond all things”

          Character can only really be forged by religion. Selfishness can only truly be erased by realizing that our pleasure is not the most important thing. You don’t care for anyone’s approval, you do things because they are the right thing to do, no matter what. A wise woman will marry a religious man. What can increase confidence more than knowing God is on your side.

          What women are attracted to ultimately is a strong Character, and although atheism can form it, it is very rare, since we become our own God and worship ourselves. Its human nature.

          Does not mean you can’t be adventurous, fun, hard to get, challenge, and play the game. Any interaction not written in formality involved deception, aka politics. There is a game you play when you interact with salesmen, when you apply for a job, etc. You think the salesmen is going to tell you the real price he’s willing to go to right away? Are you? Does that mean your lying? No, its politics when rules are absent. Romantic relations are no different.

          The key to the bad boy is just this: Emotional Variance and Control. Play a women’s emotions like a conductor in an orchestra. Control her emotions, control your own emotions, control the way she feels about herself, control the way she feels about you, control everything. Happy, sad, confused, mystery, intrigue, excitement, wonder, sad, anger, longing, missing, romance, fun, nervous, tension, an endless list.

          And another key men don’t understand is this: all emotions, not just positive ones. Drama is a need of the feminine gender.

          • Marni Wing Girl

            Hey Julian

            Whilst I wouldn’t agree that drama is ‘a need of the feminine gender’ (this comes across as derogatory) I agree women enjoy things that are more emotive: this is a gender difference though, not a negative.

            I do agree that women do want someone of strong character, though. These qualities are certainly found in religion, but I believe you can be a great man without that moral compass too: as long as you have compassion, courage and integrity

            Thanks fro your comments

            Marni :)

  • Dany

    Hi Marni, what happens if we are too direct?

  • Royal

    You 20 things that attract women are secrets most men need to realize, practice, and master if they ever want to have a lasting successful relationship with women. I will definitely master them because the best advice a man can receive about women is from a woman. You’re really on our side. Thanks for your help.

  • Royal

    The best advice a man can receive about women is from a woman. You’re really on our side. Thanks for your help.

  • https://twitter.com/#!/ShyHustler Alan

    Great reminder why I gave up on this crap. The implication here is that if you do not meet all of these points, you are doomed to be alone and miserable. Feeling this way will REALLY help you get a girl, I’m sure. At least a pick up artist is trying to make girls feel insecure to get with them – pickup COACHES make MEN feel insecure to get their MONEY. Funny how that makes me NOT want to buy any of these products.

  • http://rich_muffy@hotmail.com rich

    no prob miss maarni

  • Dan

    The only problem I have with this list is No.1 I am quietly confident, but not a natural leader. This masculine quality of being a leader seems so elusive.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Dan,

      sometimes just making a simple change, like deciding to make all of your decisions yourself (without having to ask another person their opinion) can help to bring out your ‘leadership’ qualities.

      Good luck

      Marni :)

  • Billy Cheeks

    A man wants: an honest woman.
    A woman wants: a man who is good looking, well endowed, successful, witty, in good shape, deep, has other women all over him, knows everything, is perfect and good at everything, has money, has pride, has lots of friends, is entertaining (like a PS3), has been with tons of other women, has never shown weakness, has feelings but never shows them except when she wants him to, is resourceful, can fix things, can lift heavy objects, dresses good, smells good, has the right haircut, can juggle and do a headstand while solving a rubix cube and simultaneously pleasuring five women better than any other man they have been with can…

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Billy

      this is pretty funny: but not exactly accurate! I think women fundamentally want a man who respects us and is honest: I think this is the same for both sexes when dating. However, I also think it’s great for everyone to have high standards for the people they’re dating: because I think if you value yourself, then you should want to have a great person in your life.

      Marni :)

    • Buffet

      Wow. You just described me to a ‘T’. No wonder chics dig me!

  • Raj

    Basically a man who is alpha! I think you are missing 2 great elements which are a) a source of fun and b) who can talk talk emotions. What I want to work on Marni is never giving out information about myself directly. What I mean is always have something to say that does not reveal myself and yet be interesting. For example, “hey how old are you” … “Old enough to go grab a drink by the bar”. However it seems like most of these one line responses I get them from different sources ( Tv shows , forums , PUA stuff)..how can I create them on my own?

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Raj

      I actually think that you don’t need ‘lines’ that the PUA world teaches you to create this mystery. Simply share about you what you want and if you don’t want to share on a piece of information just say (with a smile), “I’m not sure I know you well enough yet to tell you that yet: how about you kick start by telling me something about you…”

      Marni :-)

  • Oz

    I Like Girls who Like me for who I am. I just could never master Item # 22 on your list kid, Sorry ;)

  • http://twitter.com/DrewDees06 Andrew West

    men should be talking 25 percent to a womans 75 percent? thats odd, weird, i thought most women expect men to keep the conversation, talking alive, prevent the pauses and awkward silences

  • Kris DeMedici

    One must agree with most of the stuff listed up here, although a man shouldn’t need a woman to teach him what adolescence should have automatically wired in him. I would also include with point num.4 : “I would never contact a woman who creates a whole 20-point list with how her ‘man’ should be, thats too demanding” :P

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Kris,
      Glad to see you agree. Is this a rule you’ve always had or a new development?
      Marni :)

  • mc

    “Open to compromises” = no backbone or boundaries, doesn’t it? If you’re not defensive, it means you value the matter less than the person you’re talking to, which is bad, isn’t it?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jim.lyle.315 Jim Lyle

    My biggest issue is that I have not dated or asked a woman out in 20 years. I was in a hard marriage, (she was both agoraphobic and a little Bi-Polar. We separated 5 years ago and I was determined to be the loyal husband and wait for her to deal with some of her personal demons (unrelated to the above issues), we finally made it official a year or so ago. I’m now 60 and have no idea what to do now.

  • Andrew

    it makes me wonder why do women even bother asking for dating and relationship advice as in how to attract men, when they can just attract a man without saying a word, since women can be passive and get dating and relationships handed to them

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hi Andrew,

      That’s not entirely true. Men and women face different challenges when it comes to dating. Whilst men may have to try harder to attract a date, women have to be careful in picking the best and most suitable man to have as a partner. More choice doesn’t always mean better choice.

      Marni :D

  • SPS

    Marni- are you fairly conservative in general? Sometimes I get that vibe from you…that you’re pretty “traditional” in terms of your view on gender roles. Most of the women I know would interpret your advice as implying men need to be dominant and leaders, while women would rather stay passive and stereotypically feminine. In other words, it’s a somewhat anti-feminist view. If so, I can’t get on board with that. ANYONE can and should exhibit qualities of strength and leadership, man or woman. It’s not gender specific.

  • Bruce

    Okay here’s where I stand
    1.) I have been a leader
    2.) ??? How ???
    3.) Not as full as I’d like, working on that
    4.) I do
    5.) I have, but friend zoned
    6.) I do
    7.) Yes, except over thinking
    8.) Yes
    9.) Yes, except apparently getting a girlfriend or a date
    10.) Want, but still alone and doing okay, a bit lonely but okay, So don’t need
    11.) I think I am, but presenting this and image could use some work
    12.) Touchy subject, invading personal space is sometimes not welcome, when and how?
    13.) I can
    14.) Option 1 {alone} 2 {friend} 3 {fool}, hoping for option 4
    15.) Yes
    16.) There’s that crazy word, “confidence” definitions vary, but “absence of inner conflict” nope, depends on conversation but in other areas of my life I’m fine here
    17.) okay
    18.) Yes, ruled by thinking, maybe a worse situation though
    19.) Interesting is subjective
    20.) Sure, if once the conversation starts I can get a word in edge wise =)
    21.) Like to think so, I follow the codes of chivalry and how to treat a woman like a lady, but like Disney maybe bad programing, I do provide and protect my loved ones, and have a strong sense of responsibility which clashes with being spontaneous, I know I have many great and admirable qualities but they seem to be in direct conflict with dating, and remain hidden as these are hard to show upon first contact. I know you are not saying I should turn myself into a jerk, but what women seem to look for seems to reside quite prominently with the jerks.