5 Things I Want to Tell Guys at the Bar

girls_at_bar

As you may know, I’ve been out of the club and bar hopping scene for awhile…

So to make sure you guys still have all the latest on what to do WHEREVER you are…I have other trusty wing girls to help you out! :-)

Speaking of which, my Wing Girl Allyssa just wrote an article on her own frustrations while out and about at the bars…

And how you can avoid getting turned down (or punched) by the next girl you meet.

Check it out here!

5 Things I Want to Tell Guys at the Bar
Allysa Pappas

I still feel like picking up at bars is one of the best and easiest ways to go. It’s a social setting, people are specifically there to relax and have fun, generally in good spirits, and have to anticipate the chance of being approached (for the most part…).

These are the 5 things I wish I could say to the guys I see on the prowl:

1. If she’s a bitch from the get-go, walk away!

She’s not worth it anyway (and you’re probably too good for her).

Honestly, I know that a lot of you have expressed hesitation in approaching women with fear of rejection.

This is totally valid – but at times, your own fault.

I can’t count how many times I’ve watched a guy approach someone who is SO COMPLETELY uninterested, and not gotten the hint.

After a while, she’s going to get pissed and that’s when you’re going to get rejected – hard.

So look, if she’s being rude, go away. Don’t push it.

2. You don’t know everything

So stop acting like it!

Stop correcting me, one-upping me, interrupting me.

You haven’t been everywhere, know everyone, and aren’t an expert in everything.

If you were this amazing and brilliant you wouldn’t be here, you’d be in your private jet on the way to Fiji. Besides, this says way more about you than you think.

If you’re SO desperate to make a point to a complete stranger, maybe you’re trying to prove something to yourself deep down.

Also, I’m here for a good time. I worked all week, I had late nights. I don’t want to sit around and get schooled or put down during a heated debate. And I’m NOT saying to not have honest, relevant conversations with people – but no one’s going to award you with a Nobel Prize in the middle of the dance floor after you make your point.

Chill. Out.

3. You’re not bugging us

You have a lot more to offer than you think.

Assuming you don’t get the initial eye roll, don’t be afraid to approach. At the very least, a woman likes the feeling of being hit on – attention never goes unappreciated ;)

Besides, you don’t know my type, my interests, or who I’m attracted to, and by assuming that I’m going to be a bitch just makes you a dick.

Get it?

You tell us all the time that women make assumptions about you by the way you look and how unfair that is.

Well you just did the same thing – all women aren’t the same.

4. Being super aggressive is soooo annoying

Before you cut my head off, assertiveness is different. Walking up to my friends and I and yelling, grabbing me or puling me away is NOT OKAY. Who are you? Do I know you? Why are you being so loud!? Finding that balance of being assertive – yet calm – equals confidence and respectfulness. A cute, brief touch or brush of the arm is cool, but don’t grab me – you’re a stranger.

5. Talk to me like a bro (or at least a person)

I swear every time I get hit on it’s like the guy thinks I’m some kind of airhead or drunk slut.

While I’m down with the cliché compliment or jokey pick-up line, limit it to that.

Being chilled out makes us feel at ease and not putting on a “Fabio saving a damsel in distress” act makes us feel like you respect us.

Talk to me like a bro, another human being, and don’t get too creepy or too serious, it shows me that you’re not taking yourself, or the situation, too seriously.

Talk to me in a candid, unthreatening manner – make fun of me (I can handle it).

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And there you have it: The REAL inner workings of the female mind while you’re at the bar! ;-)

Bars are a place of high energy and fun…so don’t take yourself or the situation too seriously!

Women EXPECT to be hit on at a bar…and believe it or not…WE WELCOME IT!

But only if it’s done RIGHT.

You’re doing it right if you have a woman instantly smile, start laughing, and begin excitedly talking to you once you approach…

If you’re the type of guy who typically gets one-word answers, nods, or has women running away from you at the bar…chances are you’re going about it all wrong…

Find Out How To Get Women Instantly Laughing And Wanting To Go Home With You:
=> http://www.winggirlmethod.com/be-the-best-at-bars

What sucks at bars is that once women turn you down, you have to watch OTHER GUYS swoop in and successfully get them.

And I don’t want you to have to go through that!

So I developed a way to get women instantly attracted to you the second you open your mouth to speak…so that OTHER guys have to watch in envy as you go home with the girls who turned THEM down.

Click Here Now To Get The Girls That Other Guys Can’t:
=> http://www.winggirlmethod.com/be-the-best-at-bars

Once you know how to approach and talk to women at bars, other women will come flocking towards you everywhere you go.

So make sure you have what it takes to win women over with your words…and stop letting other guys get your girl.

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  • Joe

    I do not find that women welcome attention from people they aren’t interested in. It’s uncomfortable for them, till they figure out how to end the conversation. And the longer they have to be nice during the conversation, the more uncomfortable they feel that they are sending the message that they are interested. It would be nice if women could learn how to send such messages more effectively to men they actually are interested in.

    • boganus

      yes, this old chestnut. women claim men can’t read signals, but women also simply don’t have the guts to be straight. not because of any fear of violence or reprisal (which is miniscule) but because women instinctively avoid responsibility. approaching men would also reduce this problem significantly.

  • wild bill

    Marni,

    Love most of your advice. But I do think your’re off on this one. There are a SUBSTANTIAL number of women who get dressed up, and go out with their girlfriends to bars just to see how many drinks they can get guys to buy for them. They have no intention of going home with anyone or giving any guy their number. Yes, women can be, and often are, mercenary and manipulative.

    Although I would never generally take the guy’s advice, I do think Tucker Max nailed this one on the bar scene. He said that a guy really can’t get a woman to go with him if she doesn’t want to. The real trick to successfully picking up a chick in a bar is to identify the woman who IS actually looking to hook up.

    So, instead of advising men on how to convince a woman to go home with him, why don’t you tell everybody how to identify, with little or no conversation, which chicks are out just looking to get laid?