6 Signs That A Woman Is A Cock Tease
20. Jul, 2009 
149 Comments
A Wing Girls job is to let a man know what he needs to do in order to attract the women he wants. It is also her job to inform him of when he is wasting his time on a woman that is not into him.
Therefore I am going to teach you 6 Signs A Woman Is A Cock Tease.
A Cock Tease is a woman who, from the male perspective, acts in a sexual manner that seems to have the intention of seducing a man, but without actually fulfilling the expected sexual actions.
Pay close attention to these instructions. I promise, if you learn these signs it will save you time, energy, heartache and $$$’s.
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Why Do Women Flirt With No Intention Of Being With You, A.K.A Cock Tease?
This has been an annoying thing for men for some time and here is the brutal gist of it fellas… The same reason you men take time to play video games, watch sports, and all things of that nature is the exact same reason us women “Flirt With No Intentions Of Being With You. It’s FUN!!!
OK, OK, it’s not very nice of us ladies, and is a tad egotistical, we admit that, but it’s the facts. Being that I am a faithful flirt
I am guilty of this unconscious pleasure of “flirting for fun”, it’s one of those deeds women do on a whim and seemingly enjoy in the moment and then once over feel slightly guilty and ask ourselves “why did I just flirt with him when I have no intentions of being with him?”. Go figure.
Every man on the planet wants an answer of how to prevent encountering this scenario, but it’s not as cut and dry as you think. The way it works is 95% of women are natural flirts it’s innate and the reason you may have received flirting that resulted in no action is because us women flirt for attention; we flirt to boost our own confidence and ego’s, we flirt to simply feel cute and attractive, the main objective of a woman’s being is feeling wanted, even if we don’t want you unfortunately.
Flirting for us simply gains wanted attention and assurance that we could in fact have you if we wanted. Most of the time previous to flirting we know that we don’t, but still flirt for mere fun as well as confidence boost, come on’ fellas, no woman passes up a chance to look endearing, feel like an innocent girl, and bat our mascara enhanced eyelashes.
No man wants to play the fool so to help detect when you are interacting with a Cock Tease I’ve listed some tactics to help you have the advantage of scoping out a guilty flirt with no intentions of being with you:
TOP 6 SIGNS THAT A WOMAN IS A COCK TEASE:
1. She doesn’t talk about her personal statures- she’s being vague for a reason.
2. She never makes direct comments on how cute/ attractive you are- she’s not sincerely attracted, she’s entertaining herself.
3. She keeps conversation constricted to things going on in the moment- not interested in sharing any moments beyond this point.
4. She lets a gal pal pull her away- give it up, this was a mere flirtatious encounter.
5. She takes your number instead of giving you hers – She’s doesn’t want you calling her, and has no intentions on calling you.
6. She is not open to being touched- She pulls away when you make attempts at physical contact
This can be a hard thing to swallow about us ladies, so on a brighter note I wanted to share that I have indeed experienced a few rare occasions where I have flirted with a guy with no intentions of being with him and was pleasantly surprised with interest… so keep hope alive fellas! There are always special odds to every scenario.
BUT for the most typical occasions remember these signs the next time a woman flirts with you, to weed out the fake flirts… it will save your time for the legitimate ones.
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As a guy who is really working to improve himself in this area, I am sometimes guilty of approaching women that I am not all that attracted to. This is some sort of double jeopardy because (a) there’s that awkward moment at the end of the encounter, and (b) because I’m not nervous, I tend to be more likely to do what I know I should do, and get her to want me. This does not feel good–I know from experience how hard dating is already, and I don’t want to add any more confusion.
Bottom line: Everyone wants to feel attractive. I got this concept this past month, and when I got it, a lot of my disappointment in the opposite sex went away. I understand that this is why women will give out their numbers and then not take calls. Or even why a woman will actually see the guy again, when it is clear from the beginning of the date that she just isn’t into the him, no matter how much she might have seemed, *seemed* into him the time they first met.
I love that you are getting it Mike. The important thing is you are recognizing human behavior, accepting it, not getting upset and moving on.
Thanks Marni! I am learning a lot from you!
I think the key for all of us is to use this sort of thing to our advantage. We could do one of two things here:
(a) We could make it a point to NOT lay ourselves out until she actually does something for us (follow us to a different part of the bar, kiss us, leave to a different venue, ect). In the meanwhile, we could be thankful that we’re getting a chance to practice our leading, connecting, storytelling, ect; i.e., our ‘game’, while we are getting social proof that will help us with other women.
(b) Or we could act like a chump and buy her (and even her friends!) drinks, thinking we’re getting somewhere when we aren’t really.
We guys have to realize how hard dating is for most women too. I know of single women in their 40′s who are wonderful people who have a lot to give a guy, but (being blunt here) they aren’t physically attractive. Is it fair to them that they are constantly being blown off for a girl who might be much prettier, but who isn’t nearly as nice? We guys should be thankful how much easier it is for us to increase our attractiveness.
Absolutely Michael, there’s no doubt about the fact that everyone wants to feel attractive… especially a woman… if you can accomplish making her feel that way on the 1st meet it definitely makes the whole encounter pleasurable vs. awkward. The things we humans do to feel attracted and desired right! But I can’t stress enough to never let one encounter with one woman hinder your next with another… as they are all different.
What are “personal statures?
Personal statues? Like, nudes in the hallway? What?
“Moments beyond this point” — you mean future plans? personal history? stories?
Again — what?
and what if she does call me — but avoids making plans to get together, but invites me to get together with her (and we do, and have a good time…)
Hmmm?
Hmmm is right. Think about what was mentioned in Riki’s article. If a woman starts to play these types of “games” of being hot and cold it most likely means that she is not into you but likes the attention.
I have done this many times. There was this guy that was into me in college that worked at my gym. I had just gotten out of a relationship and was heart broken. He flirted with me, made me feel attractive and I loved it. He asked for my number, I gave it even though I knew I would never be into him. He called, I didn’t answer but called him back 4 days later at a time I knew he was working. Then he called me back, asked me out. I never called back but saw him at the gym a few days later. He still flirted and I took the attention with open arms. Then he called me again. I did not answer the phone but called back 3 days later with the hopes of him not answering. He answered and asked me to meet him at a bar around the corner. I flaked and didn’t go. Saw him at the gym the next day. He didn’t give me a lot of attention. I went home and called him and he never called me again.
This “game” can go on forever but ultimately it is just that a game not an actual connection. I was not in the right mind set and I was very open to any attention that made me feel attracted and wanted.
If a woman avoids your calls, flakes, is wishy washy and does not show a level of interest consistently then move on. I am not saying to ignore this woman if you see her, there still might be a chance when she is in a better space. I am simply saying don’t focus all of your attention on a woman that does not deserve your attention.
When I was single I came across this type of behaviour a lot while genuinely looking to meet someone.
Whilst I understand sometimes it can be nice to be wanted and I have unintentionally done it myself in the past but once I realised what I had done I actually came clean and said to the person sorry I am a bit confused right now and was giving off the wrong signals but I am not interested.
It seems to me a little childish to keep calling someone and acting interested when you have no intention of showing any interest beyond flirting and strikes me as a bit pathetic and any guy who has this done to him is a fool if he keep calling or flirting with the individual in question.
The sad thing is at some point people who do this are going to meet someone they really really like but a friend of a friend is going to know some poor sap who has been messed about by this person and the likelyhood is they will say stay away from her she is a a game player lol.
Ouch. Very candid. Definitely has the ring of truth to it. I know I’ve been that guy at the gym before.
Sometimes I wish I was a monk. Or gay. Or celibate. Or a celibate gay monk.
Life would be much easier then.
You are funny
Marni says:
“…I have done this many times…”
This is known as fraud. Engaging in deceptive behavior to get something when you have no intention of giving something of value in return.
What you’re asserting in neon letters is that the so-called stereotypes about women aren’t stereotypes at all. Flaky, inconsistent, unreliable with a range-of-the-moment consciousness. Nothing that comes out of their mouth can be counted on to have any substance behind it.
What you’re saying is you don’t actually value a solid, meaningful connection, you just need your fucking surface-level ego stroked. You’re looking for empty emotional calories at someone else’s expense.
And you don’t give a fuck how it affects the other person.
Yeah, and when she does actually seem “into you” – what’s at the other end of that? You’ve been busting ass to make a life for your family and whatever hormone flux of the moment causes her to derail it all – and she of course will expect you to live in servitude and subsidize her.
And here you are “tee hee, aren’t we women cute for being this way?”
No, you’re not. You’re fucking pathetic and deserve the disdain of men and to not be regarded as anything more than a cunt.
Simply meaning the personal make-ups of ones self. The small things that makes that women an individual… person information/ history would be the gist of it Lawrence.
Moments beyond this point- is speaking for that very moment in action, and meaning she is not interested in or planning on giving you any of her time what so ever beyond that very moment/ encounter.
If a woman invites you to get together or even calls you for that matter she definitely has intentions beyond “flirting for fun”. She has some sort of interest in you for sure! But be careful assuming that a good time means you have it in the bag… romantic chemistry and platonic matching wave lengths, are two very separate things that can sometimes be confused.
I believe cock teases do more harm to women and make it more difficult to find the right guys because these cock teases burn men and make them jaded towards women. I think women need to end the games. We are victims of our own choices and them blame men for our bad decisions.
Exactly.
For all the women who wonder why men are defensive or don’t bother to approach them, there’s your answer!
You’ve made a good point Marni. “The game” can be tricky. I think sometimes, the feelings a man gives us of feeling attractive, sexy and wanted can be addictive… we just want more of it and can’t get enough of it! We use and abuse to boost or own egos… And loneliness can make a woman do things she knows she shouldn’t or wouldn’t do if in the right mind set.
But honestly when we make those phone calls and send those text messages to men we know we’re not that into… sometimes there can be those occasions where deep down we hope there’s something hiding there that may spark out and result in a connection! A woman always has that hope… especially if she’s in need of companionship from a man.
The game! That’s the prob with woman and men we think its a game.Why does it have to be a game?. Its like why even waste your time flirting with the guy if yu know your not into to him. How is the man makeing yu feel better about yourself? If your acting out of character? meaning, you know your putting on a show to get what yu want. Wouldn’t it feel better if yu got that from somebody your really into?.
Yes ii understand woman wanna feel a current why about there self’s but that’s going about it the wrong way. just keep it real!
Dj, I know this can be frustrating but women don’t go out with a goal in mind to mess with a guys head and screw him over. It’s a selfish act where they want to go out and feel good. For me I feel good when I feel attractive and wanted. The truth is that if there is somebody that can knock me off my feet and catch my attention I am going to be interested. But while I am looking I am going to have a good time, put out great energy and flirt!
Damn….I don’t even know where to start….lets see…very cool article. I am definitely guilty of doing all of these things at least once or ten times, but I argue..what’s so wrong with meeting someone new and being personable and outgoing?
I think some men (and women) are quick to assume that a confident, out-going individual of the opposite sex, making conversation in a social setting, is doing so with the intent to make the encounter a sexual one. Which is definitely not always the case….sometimes its JUST harmless conversation.
On another note, I watched this show on the Discovery Channel called “The Science of Sex Appeal” and they actually prove that attention from the opposite sex can be addictive. To loosely summarize, they show that when you’re around a person you’re attracted to (varying from crush to in love) and exchange conversation or have physical contact with that individual, dopamine is released into your body. Its the drug that makes you feel all warm and tingly inside….so when you’re around that person you literally “feel good”, as their presence signals a release of feel good hormones.
Alright I’m done going super nerd on the comment board. Love the article Riki, keep up the good work and lemme know when the next one is out!!!
Such a relevant article from friday to sunday….you know a lot of these ladies work hard all week and by the weekend its time to play….us fellas are definitely guilty of these accusations also…I’m just waiting for them to put to put flirting in the olympics so I can break micheal phelps gold medal record…lol…love you tiDa..
this is very seriously in need of editing.
I’ve been guilty of it in the past before. Men have done it before. Its a part of makin yourself feel good no matter what sex you are. As long as your not an asshole about it, there’s nothing wrong with it. Thnx riki
I wouldn’t really categorize any of these female behaviors as being a “cock-tease”. To me, a “cock-tease” is the girl who feigns interest for whatever reason (validation, gold-digging, make another guy jealous, etc…)
These are all just signs that she’s not into you and you’re wasting your time…
….but I love it when you “talk dirty” like this :-p
I have to agree with the Charming Rogue.
These are signs that she’s not into you — she’s probably enjoying a nice, FRIENDLY conversation with you.
I gotta play devil’s advocate here and say, ok, yes, some women flirt for fun, but in my experience flirting for fun isn’t that fun unless I’m actually at least somewhat attracted to the guy in question.
Most of the time that I’ve ended up being a cock-tease, I actually WAS attracted during the flirting/banter portion of the encounter, but then the guy displayed some kind of behavior that made me second guess actually going to bed with him.
In other words, it’s not that some women are cock-teases and others aren’t. It’s a behavior, not a personality type. If women are consistently acting like cock-teases towards you, then you are probably amping up some initial attraction but aren’t escalating it properly all the way to actual sexual contact. It’s a good sign that it’s time to get that part of your game handled.
Liz Leia said among other things:
“…you are probably amping up some initial attraction but aren’t escalating it properly all the way to actual sexual contact. It’s a good sign that it’s time to get that part of your game handled…”
Uh huh…and wondering how many guys who “escalated it properly” you’ve ended up declaring to be assholes and users etc. etc. because what really “escalated” it was some surface-level bullshit – you know, like using some “method” to manufacture a persona.
If he was fortunate, the guy who didn’t connect with you found someone who was actually interested in making some effort of her own to determine if he was a quality person who isn’t looking to “game” a woman, instead of some lazy, shallow bimbo who considers it incumbent upon men to find whatever “key” unlocks the door to all the wonderfulness that clearly is you.
And that’s really the focus of this site – “Be yourself? Pfft – how silly. No, let Marni show you how to be the pussy-whipped slob who’s trained to jump through hoops to *keep* the woman who apparently doesn’t already recognize whether you’re a good guy just as you are.”
I don’t even have the energy right now…
Glad I could provide you a safe space to vent your frustration and anger towards women
…you say as if naming it invalidates it. Yup, anger that’s solidly based in reality.
“..I don’t even have the energy right now..”
Princess please, what you don’t have is a leg to stand on. Your site is a testament to the truth of what I’ve said and you’re cashing in on it as a self-proclaimed “expert”. You must be an expert ’cause there’s pics of you talking in front of people, straight out of the Corporate Posturing Handbook.
Someone sounds bitter and dripping with negativity. With a great attitude like that, it doesn’t exactly take a rocket scientist to figure out why you have trouble meeting women.
In response to Dj’s comment:
I know it is awfully irritating the games we play… but it’s the inevitable. I’m not saying “Flirting For Fun” is blameless but it is the reality and something us women do. Can be wrong… but if you think about it…most men’s intentions aren’t clear cut either, meaning while we “Flirt For Fun” some men flirt to “score”… so in a way that’s a misleading game in itself. Acting like you want us for more then a sexual moment when in fact you don’t… still a game… same thing as “Flirting For Fun” just in more depth.
That’s what’s killer when ii guy flirt’s it’s “he just want’s to get in my paints”.Why is that? What if we wanna feel that same thing yu ladies wanna feeL?
Can we have fun & sexy toooooo???
No homo!
That’s what’s killer when ii guy flirt’s it’s “he just want’s to get in my paints”.Why is that? What if we wanna feel that same thing yu ladies wanna feeL?
Can we have fun & feel sexy toooooo???
No homo!
Then by all means play ball DJ!! Everyone should be able to feel sexy and wanted.
“….but I love it when you “talk dirty” like this :-p”
Good God, Charming Rogue….even your ONLINE game is WEAK.
haha
Big Daddy
The Best,
I like to flirt for fun and I am a man. Sometimes I will show affection for a female friend by flirting with her. However, I will never lead a woman that I have no interest in to believe otherwise! Whenever a pretty woman that I don’t know starts to show me more attention than I think the situation calls for I wonder what it is that she is setting me up for. Twice I got set up to be sucker punched by a guy!
I’ve mostly thought that I’d rather figure out the unified field theory than to try and figure out women. But one thing I know about women: They are starved for respect… for appreciation… to be loved (but then, who wouldn’t be!). Help them appreciate their own value, their own worth. I am a big believer in the more you give give the more you get. Connect with them as HUMANS. Be a good listener — without any agenda. I think this can go along way. Recognize a quality in them; create levity and be the spark of fun.
waoooo that happened with me a lot of times, and thanks to you , i realizing right now that the cock women i know they made to have fun themselves, and know i am aware of this, thankyou marny and nina for giving us this knowledge.
Blegh, really though, cock teasers seriously reinforce my bittnerness towards the next woman I meet. Whether right or wrong, the attitude they have (women) helped me develop is: remain absolutely distant until they jump on top of me.
Whether or not someone does or does not take things personally, or, doesn’t care about anyone’s opinion around them does not have the right to assume that the next person they meet will look at them as a fluke either. The shit test is adorable but I can’t support this one.
Now I know how that sounds, I re-read it. I’m not saying anyone is wrong in this situation, only giving an example of what it can lead to – it’s really not a healthy habit. At all. I have the ability to take others’ feelings into account before I speak, I don’t think it should be too challenging for a woman to consider the same.
Listen, I love you all, but I think ladies who back this behavior up are equivalent to the man who walks and/or prances around his work place five-starring every girl’s ass and replies, “what!? you didn’t like that?”
Should you call her out on being a ‘cock tease’?
If so, could you give the fellas a couple of examples?
Yes call her out but not in a mean way. This is where subtle humor comes into play. This may actually snap her out of flirting for fun and make her take notice of you.
The best thing for you to do when you notice someone flirting just for fun is to check in with yourself and see if you really want to continue with them. If you are having fun with them then continue. Flirting for fun can go both ways and it is an enjoyable experience.
Women seem to take a sadistic pleasure in cock-teasing shy or lonely men.
They do this nasty mixture of enticing you, then laughing at you with their friends. If you are shy they will pity you in a mocking way.
I notice they never do this to the “Alpha males”, who strangely escape the ridicule and humilaition that is inflicted on less confident men.
The truth is that men and women ruthlessly use each other to get what they want. The whole relationship between the genders is poisonous and nasty, spare me the Mills & Boon crap; there’s no love, only mutually beneficial usery.
Putting aside your obvious bitterness towards women who might teased you in the past, you have to admit that the women cannot be expected to know if you are a shy or lonely guy.
What do you know of being “Alpha males”? I think they received their shares of teasing encounters. The difference is either they are better players at the whole game than you or they take home someone with them at the end of the night and blot out the experience of being teased.
You are only setting up yourself for failure if you approach the whole mating dance with such negative attitude.
Hey Michelle
I like your point about choosing to focus on the positives of an interaction (whether that be ‘wow that was a learning curve’ or ‘she’s crazy not to like me’) instead of the negatives.
A positive attitude is a great attribute to have
Thanks for your comments
Marni
Making my point more clear… because I understand how it can be unclear… before I hand out compliments, before I hand out flirts, before I hand out any sign of attraction I decide whether or not the person has earned the right to be hit on.
Actions like this make others feel special, not… bait.
An ‘over’ flirt is like… picture someone who laughs all the time. Everyone knows someone like that. When you tell them a joke and they laugh, there is no meaning behind it. Well, there may, or may not be. Check for dimples. Point being, when you do something that gets you good results with the girl, what is to make you think she sincerely likes it? Why and how could someone possibly be attracted to girls like that if they are used to them?
I feel even though taming a CT can be done, I don’t exert energy if it’s not deserved, I think taking this approach is healthy. If I enjoy their character I’ll turn the Crombie Meter on. Rule number one though: If she wants me to kiss her, she has to first ask me to use the force on her. Protocol is only fair.
No one likes a tease… the only person who enjoys that game is the “teaser”.
I see your logic in that theory Brian; the only negative is most women aren’t the “jump on men” type. They want to be the one chased (for the most part)… and most of the time a man doesn’t realize a girl isn’t sincere which is where the “6 SIGNS” come into play to assist in that detection. But never the less it’s good you have a strategy that you’re comfortable with, that’s exactly what I encourage, give energy to the ladies that deserve it!
No time wasting for you!!!
… And yes we all know or have encountered and “over flirt” ;-p
So would it be fair to say that “6 Signs That a Woman Is Into You” would be the opposite of these 6? Or would you choose others that are more important?
The signs to look for that a woman is into you are:
Eye contact
Body language turned towards you
Tossing of hair
Batting eye lashes
More than one word answers
Not overly touching you but subtle touches – if a woman is overly comfortable with you chances are she is not interested in you but enjoys your company
A little nervous – When i am attracted to a person I mumble a little over my words. When I am not into them I am overly confident and comfortable with everything I say
I think that last one is key. You can really separate women who are interested in you from those who are not by the ones who get nervous about talking to you. They don’t want to “blow it.” They’re careful about what they say.
I’ve done the same thing with women I’m attracted to. Tripping over your words, that kind of thing.
Thanks, Marni. The touching one is also interesting. I’ve confused the “overly touching” woman for someone who was interested and then usually found out she was not, and was baffled. It makes sense — just as the interested woman will hesitate over her words, she’ll hesitate over her touch.
Nice.
I found this pdf to be short but interesting to read. It gets you into thinking about the signals.
http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.pdf
I like how she keep saying : “Men already tend to mistake friendliness for flirting; if your
signals of interest are too direct and obvious, they will mistake them for sexual availability.”… so true.
I have to say i 100% agree with this post as far as flirting for fun goes. Women will always flirt, not because they want to be a “cocktease” but because it makes a night more enjoyable. Every man shouldnt assume that just because your talking to him ur going to take him home that night or want to automatically go out with him, which is the case most times. Socializing is just fun… If a man is really interested he’ll find a way to make himself stand out without trying to show off.
Love the article… cant wait to see more.
Right. By all means, enjoy your night and have a blast. If anything, I can say from a man’s perspective that a woman with genuine conversation is more attractive than being approached with an animated personality – making the assumption that the majority of the time you hit the bars you’re out in hopes of meeting someone new.
There is nothing that we enjoy more than being listened to, and nothing that bothers us more than being stuck in a conversation with someone we are not interested in. I assure you were are not as attracted to Paris Hilton’s as the media may make us out to be. On second thought, the pooch in the purse is a HUGE turn on.
If you have good intentions, game on. I do suggest letting empathy take it’s course if he doesn’t enjoy it, or, if you can clearly see he is being lead on – then it’s time you tone it down and be honest.
Until she’s shown genuine interest, it’s a flirt. Just a simple flirt, and nothing but a flirt. But that’s exactly it – a girl flirted with me! Cool!
A flirt is just a seed, it’s not the genuine article, and you shouldn’t expect love interest from a stranger, which is also why I rarely buy women drinks at a bar. I love the attention, I love that women do it, but for the most part, I don’t change what I’m doing to get it. It’s just a natural extension of what I’m already doing.
It’s also a great way to see if she’s really into you – pursue her just enough that she knows you like it too, then reverse it, play reserved and watch her come back to you.
Great article, Marni.
I concur with that Brian, conversation is key, genuine conversation, a great personality can only get you so far for me, but keeping my interest with well spoken dialog that isn’t over the top is a thumbs up. For me being intrigued by word of mouth and being of interest keeping me engaged is impressive and rare.
Marni touched on the fact our that as women; being full of emotions our best conversational skills don’t always surface when we are really interested and so worried about what you think of us, so making a woman feel relaxed and at ease can facilitate the encounter. Empathy may not come on the 1st encounter but doesn’t mean it isn’t cable of being given, compassion usually comes a little later.
Before you lose interest switch the conversation up to something of your interest bring her into your world, doesn’t hurt.
By-the-by a pooch in the purse is such an unambiguous sign of a creditable tête-à-tête, as it’s a guarantee you will be listened to with empathized puppy dog eyes! (Wink). :-p
- Pretty Riki
Give me 5 ways to hold your interest, Ms. Riki outside of getting new shoes on my ride, rolling down 95 and looking for a cutiepieeee.
Adam!
Love your “A flirt is just a seed” analogy, true in so many ways. It can blossom into something or it may not, depending on what’s put into it.
Playing the hard to get and reserved card can intensify the encounter or do the exact opposite so be careful with that game, a woman needs to feel some sort attention/ chase to surrender to lust.
-Pretty Riki
Exactly Sasha Fierce, flirting is an enjoyable game for us ladies period, whether pre-meditated or not, it gives our night out some stimulation, I want to almost say it’s the inevitable. We don’t get all dolled up for our girlfriends to look at us with desirability, it’s for the fellas!!!
Thanks for the support.
Happy flirting!
-Pretty Riki
5 qualities that hold’s a young woman’s interest:
Laughter
Sex appeal
Intellectual conversation
Wit
Humbleness
- Pretty Riki
I have definetely fallen for those cock tease traps throughout my adolesence, and since then I can say that I have been scared for life. So only recently have I managed to look at opportunities in a totally different perspective and not been afraid of approaching women in general. If they want to be approach, I simply build up the courage and go. Now about this artcile, on being cock teased, I must agree and also accept your points to all of them. I have fallen victim to this many times, and to avoid misinterpreting it all, I have lost interest in tons of girls, or mostly convinced myself that she was being a cocktease, even though she may not have been doing so. Which ended up by me not asking her out, and never getting dates for a long time. Which I sometimes still do. The whole concept of being teased, is still trilled into my head in a way that I meet women left and right, but I know not to trust anyone of them, and take everything as a grain of salt in a way. But also willing to be surprise by the woman to find out if she really does want to be with me or not. Plus I have learned NEVER to act or demonstrate NEEDINESS!!!!! If I do by accident I know I lost my chance with the girl. Am I right or wrong?
Hi Will,
No you are not wrong. Neediness is not in any way attractive. Ironically enough the harder you are to get the more a woman wants you, it’s one of those weird unjustifiable things that happens, not in every case, but happens! That doesn’t mean go out there and play hard to get, my point is never act or show neediness that only gets a woman to dig deeper and wonder why you’re so needy, which will result in loss of interest. Be confident (i.e. today’s post “How To Show Self Confidence”) and be yourself, this will get you someone who appreciates you, the real you!
-Pretty Riki.
Once when I looked at a girl, she just looked down towards the ground, lowering her head. What does this mean? She wanted to tell me that she´s not interested?
I don’t worry too much about it.Women are not even attracted by the penis.They think it’s a tool, so sometimes the whole man is a tool
If a guy is romantically direct, or Mode One (in a non crass way), what does this do to the cock tease’s game? Does it just hand her the win, or tend to make her turned on?
If a woman is flirting with everyone and tries hard to be social with everyone – she is ‘attention bitch’ I know that because of dating some of them. On the other hand if a girl is in to you she would invest(don things for you, making it very easy for you to lead her to bed or suggesting herself of you two sleeping together) in order to have sex with you.
I wish I could have told a lady friend that I just wanted to talk. We both at the time were going through some rough times in our lives. She was flirting with me , I think to just get the attention. I dunno .for one she is taller than me and 2 she is a country girl and I am a metal head. But I asked her out once for coffee and she said no,and starting crying. I just wish that I could have told her that I don’t want her for sex. I am getting to old to just want sex from someone. I want someone that stimulate me with conversation. As well.. This was happeining at her place of business , and I didn’t really feel comfortable playing this game at work. Oh well. Live and Learn
Nice blog,
Here’s one: “6 signs that a man is a vagina tease”.
Any ideas for men on how to become one? ( all in a fun way of course)
Only one “vagina tease” tip.
Act COMPLETELY DISINTERESTED.
Pretty girls are used to used to getting lots of attention from men.
College Humor have a funny video called “Hot Girl POV” that nicely illustrates this.
Of course, if you stop ignoring her she will just treat you like all the other guys who don’t.
But if you continue to ignore her to the bitter end she will eventually give up in much the same way as the prick-tease victim.
Teasing is pretty dumb, isn’t it?
Ha. Yes I think teasing is dumb but can be amazing if done the right way. You are totally right about teasing till the bitter end. You gotta give something or else you are going to end up “teasing” yourself
wow … glad I wasn’t born female … this list just shows what shallow, conniving, selfish, loser cunts chicks are … so that’s what they do for FUN? … wow, sad … it basically explains that they are more INSECURE than a gay owl drunk on jello shots … um, females EXPECT males to be honest and this is how they act? … yeah, no wonder the modern-day divorce rate is over 50 percent … look in the mirror chickees — it is YOU for the reason why ALL your relationships fail, not the male who was unable to be a MIND-READER … get a clue and quit watching Oprah and Dancing With the Stars (LOSER CHICKS!!!!) … then throw in you have to bleed every month and go through 9 months of pregnancy 8 or 9 times in your lives (14 times if your are Mormon) and it now all makes sense … that list just shows that men are way more powerful than chicks because men don’t have to be FAKE to be SECURE … chicks are SHALLOW LOSERS!!!!!!!!! …. thanks for sharing the list. Now I get it because I don’t like or respect FAKE PEOPLE OF ANY GENDER!
oh dear. I don’t have the energy right now for this.
High five Benson.
“more insecure than a gay owl drunk on jello shots”?
I’d say “more insecure than a closeted gay owl drunk on jello shots after snorting a few lines of coke”
I read all these dating advice sites like a recovering alcoholic goes to meetings.
Its a warning to not “fall of the wagon” and go chasing women again.
I’m a guy, and I flirt with girls without having any intention whatsoever of taking it further. I do it for lots of reasons – such as to make the girl I really want, who is watching, more interested before I approach her. Or simply to practice my conversational skills.
But I always put a stop to the flirting at the same point: meaning that when a girl asks me for my number, or touches me a lot, or begins to make heavy hints of taking things further, I always tell her very gently but clearly that I am not available, and never will be, only looking for good conversation. Women are always grateful to me for the honesty.
I do this because I have empathy and a conscience, and I’m not out to hurt anyone. I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone would think its okay to play phone tag with someone so that you can keep them on the hook indefinitely. It’s a horribly unfeeling and unethical thing to do, and women like this have only themselves to blame for the bitterness and misogyny they earn from jaded men.
But I am very appreciative to the women on this site who bring such behavior to the attention of men, and we should be grateful to you: I really hope that you remain strong enough to maintain your openness and be careful that any backlash you receive doesn’t diminish your candor, or cause you to water down the product you’re selling (truth and insight about social dynamics) which is a valuable and ethical business, and it would be very unfortunate for women and men alike should you learn from reproach to withhold anything.
It does take the right touch to effectively tease, so many guys get it wrong.
Wilda, I doubt it =D
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I used to work with a girl that did this “cock teasing” thing. At least I’m pretty certain. She was very attractive and I liked her a lot and tried to pursue her after two months of this. Although I realized later that she was flirting with no real interest in me, it didn’t upset me a great deal. After reading this, it only confirmed it for me. I’m not angry that women do this, but I have to say I felt like she had wasted both our time. I don’t know about anyone here, but my time is very valuable to me. If a chick is flirting with me and I like her back- great lets do something. But I would rather not have my time wasted if your just doing it to inflate your ego or confidence. However, reading this post was good, it will no doubt save me a lot of time spotting the signals of a “cock teaser”.
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Good article. Made me reflect on an occasion where I had been lead on – although it was a lot more than a simple chat in a bar – it went on for two months before i figured it out
In my experience a few things stood out:
* loved the email flirting and dirty texting etc. – implying comfort with sexual flirting and therefore interest;
* would agree to meet up – then flake at the last minute;
* would do enough just to keep me interested and hanging on.
I was a little distracted with other issues in my life at the time – but looking back can’t believe I fell for it!
Some very valuable lessons with the most important being that if a women is not willing to follow through in a concrete way – namely a date – and she exhibits the behaviour in your article – she’s a cocktease.
One thing I would comment on is that women (more so than men) know when they are engaging in fun harmless flirting and when they are deliberately leading men on.
Two things I would hope for – men, watch out for these signals, women – know the difference but fun teasing and attention-whore teasing and act honourably. And boost your self esteem else where!
However, again Marni, can’t help but notice that you AGAIN make allowances for female behaviour. You consistently do this through your articles, always saying things along the lines of, ‘women don’t realise they’re doing it’, ‘not meaning to be cruel’, ‘based on their insecurities’, etc. etc.
Accountability? Or you implying that women are simple creatures with no self awareness or ability to control their own behaviour, merely slaves to their emotional desires?
Absolutely Michael, there’s no doubt about the fact that everyone wants to feel attractive… especially a woman… if you can accomplish making her feel that way.. If a woman avoids your calls, flakes, is wishy washy and does not show a level of interest consistently then move on. I am not saying to ignore this woman if you see her, there still might be a chance when she is in a better space.
The cock tease women is not always just “a girls wanna have fun” kinda chick. Quite often the worst kind, not the one that flirts with you in a bar and doesn’t call but the one that becomes almost your best buddy is actually an insecure individual. Rather than being in it for shits and giggles this girl wants to position men around her so that when she feels upset or insecure she has platonic male friend who thinks he is playing the long game to run and massage her ego. Your best bet is reduce contact and save your time and effort. Let her choose you or lose you, the friendship is false. The most common type of woman to do this is the one who has not a lot of personality and a lot of looks. The fact that a nice guy, which you probably are if your being honorable and playing the long game, takes time and pays attention to her whenever she needs it makes her feel less depressed about being a cardboard individual in a world that ultimately only values her for her temporary good looks.
What’s priceless is at the end of this diatribe that’s essentially about “what manipulative liars we women all are” you end it with….a come-on – oh, but even though we might be cock-teasing you for our own gratification, it just *MIGHT* turn into something real so basically forget everything I just said and play into our little game anyway.
I’ll be curious to see if you actually have the balls to publish this and the other comment I’ve made.
In other words the female thinks she should be entitled to get her ego stroked while bashing the guy’s ego.
Another manifestation of this is women who do this crap in the workplace, and then cry “sexual harassment”. Happens all the time. One of the female’s other favorite “games” is to be a victim.
I used to have a girl like this. And just by reading all this I came to the conclusion that she is a cocktease! Well.. at least she was, haven’t seen her in a long while. I kinda miss the life I had earlier. She was the second girl in my life that broke my heart pretty badly, made me fall on my knees.
None of the others were that special as she was.
The more I, as a male, read about this overly flirty behavior, the more I agree with Flash that it’s unethical. If we don’t genuinely care to get to know someone with intentions of it going further (on either side of the gender line), then we both shouldn’t be flirty. To me, there’s a difference between talking to someone and flirting.
First, I talk to people to get to know them. Before I flirt (if I do…), I’ll find someone I’m attracted to and talk to them. To flirt first is cruel, self-centered, dishonest, naïve, and lastly, controlling. At the heart of it all, we are both lying to the other person and wasting each other’s time by flirting with people we’re not authentically interested in as people. Plus, both people are looking for some sort of a relationship (either friend or romantic) so both people should be seeking to complement each other’s interests. Why would I want to get to know someone that is putting on a show for me? I would want someone that is real and honest.
I agree it is fun to flirt but it’s the same type of fun as getting wasted – fun in the short run and likely to be disastrous in the long run. If it doesn’t end in a romantic relationship in the long run, then it will tear at least one person up. By flirting first, we limit where relationships go and assume – as economists would use – a zero-sum game in a win-lose atmosphere. It doesn’t have to be this way. We could both win if emotional intentions are not revealed prematurely. We all are seeking control over our own lives, which people translate into controlling others if their lives are in disarray. Why not talk and get to know each other before going further with flirting? If it doesn’t turn out perfect in a romantic happily-ever after for both people, flirting, without knowing someone, damages both people. Both are unable to learn and end up more confused afterwards then they were to begin with because they don’t know what they did wrong and it can’t be generalizable to another relationship.
If I know that my actions in the short run could hurt someone’s feelings in the long run, I don’t do it! Why create an environment for pain when people could just talk and get to know each other before one or both people’s emotions get overly involved and people get hurt? If I end a conversation with someone, it doesn’t hurt people’s feelings because people don’t feel like they’ve lost something or had their heart ripped out by someone. I’m leaning towards treating flirting like “playing with fire” – “leave it to the professionals”. To me, it’s best not to play games and just be genuine with your intentions. If the person doesn’t like your authenticity, then move on to someone who appreciates honesty and respect.
Didn’t read your whole post cause all I saw was that flirting was bad. Correct me if I am wrong on this.
Flirting is awesome!! Just stop thinking of it at naughty, or misleading. It’s fun, awesome and enjoyable. I flirt with everyone I meet. Why? because it makes me feel good and it makes them feel good. I am not doing it to lead them on and they understand this. American’s are WAY to cautious when it comes to flirting. I was over in the UK and everyone flirted. The police officers, the retail clerks, the tube station workers. They were so open, free and fun! Loved it.
Marni , you need to read Flirting Skeptic’s post , you created a discussion board , you should read other people’s opinions ffs! Don’t tell me to stop thinking about it in a naughty way. Flirting is meant to be naughty and you are the twisted one to think otherwise.
Americans are cautious because they’ve been stung many times by ignorant attention whores such as yourself. Men get aroused in less then a second , while for a woman it takes some time. It is brutal and childish for you to pretend that abusing this advantage of yours is some sort of harmless fun. You see the guys having fun WHILE you’re flirting , you never see them sad after that… they won’t let you cuz that means you’ve won!