Comments on: Bad Boy vs. Nice Guy

By: Marni

Marni — Mon, 03 May 2010 19:39:38 +0000

OF COURSE!!!! Attraction works at every age. But the trick is that you have to be able to Turn Yourself on before you can turn anyone else on. If you are unsure, or low confidence about what you are doing then others, especially women, will be even more insecure about it. Meaning, if you don’t support it, no one else will.

By: mikey

mikey — Sat, 01 May 2010 20:29:18 +0000

Hi I am 46 years old man and i have been told by my friends and family that i’m a nice guy with a great personality and i’ve also been told that i am cute, attractive and good looking although i never thought i was was that good maybe low self esteem. Well my point is i have just came out of a marriage of 10 years and am single now and getting back on the dating scene. I have loads of confidence to join in and dance with loads of pretty and hot girls with no problems at all and me and the girls have fun however i feel wrong inside to approach and talk to women especially young ones for possible dates. Would attraction still work for me at my age or am i ready for the bin. I mean is it possible to attract younger women?

Thanks for reading

By: Serenity

Serenity — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 22:50:34 +0000

chivalry is dead, that’s why. i don’t personally know the world of females ’cause i’m not very girly-girlish, and i’m fairly young, too, but get this: despite what Marni says, girls like bad boys, end of story. so maybe not ALL girls like bad boys, but majority does. read and understand what i’m saying: it doesn’t matter if fat or thin or rich or poor. we like bad-boy-attitudes. and don’t ever call anyone a loser, because you know what? that makes YOU a loser. thanks for reading!
~Serenity~

By: Hanberlo

Hanberlo — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 05:35:00 +0000

Hey, all! Well I just came across this site, and I think I know whats going on out there. Believe it or not, women DO prefer the bad boy type. The only exception to this, is maybe a woman seeking a long term marriage relationship (settling down, kids n stuff). But to all you overly nice guys out there, there is hope for you yet. You really don’t have to be a bad boy at all. Just stop being a wuss! You can be nice, but not be so soft and indecisive. It’s kinda long to explain here, but if any of you guys here have a problem with getting a date (or laid), I think I can help. There was a time when I too was wimp like, as I had no one to show me the ropes.

By: Marni

Marni — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 16:50:57 +0000

Bruce you are very welcome and thanks for that comment. I love how you explained it!

By: Bruce

Bruce — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:27:14 +0000

Marni: Just found your “WGM” site… very interesting! The wing girl thing has worked for me during the past six months in my own situation. I’ve learned (the hard way) recently that the Nice Guy/Bad Boy scenario is perhaps, more accurate when described as “Great Man/Idiot Jerk scenario. Sure, many women often are fooled by the BB/IJ approach at first… but it never lasts over time. Often what happens is that a “Nice Guy” comes along and the woman’s attraction for the nice guy is ‘enough’ ~ for awhile. Over time though, the nice guy routine becomes boring, predictable and no longer attractive. The hot passion and that wonderful new relationship energy begins to fade. I’ve learned that as soon as your woman is no longer ATTRACTED to you as a MAN, the love affair becomes a downward spiral. At that point most “nice guys” begin to do all the things that destroy intimacy & attraction while wondering “what went wrong”. We begin to act as boys rather than guys; certainly not as men.
Becoming a Great Man is the antidote to the Nice Guy syndrome.
Marni, you are 100% right: confidence, masculine energy, positive focus, respect, honesty, dominance & vision are what make up the real aspects of being a real MAN. The style of the Nice Guy is to suck up, give up and beg for a womans approval ~ all of which destroys her attraction.
Often, as men in our culture, we’re not taught the difference between being bad Boys and great Men. We end up in the Nice Guy category with all the frustration and heartache this causes.

Thanks for your work & insight.

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 23:06:44 +0000

Most women do want the nice guy, but after reading on the interweb that they do, im not so sure… Let me explain.
With the bad boy image, you get this brash, over confident, way over the boundary of self esteem, and people that are beyond cocky
With the nice guy, you get this kind, generous, calm, genuine person… Which im one of… but then, apparently we are wimps, feeble, over the top with emotions, over the top with everything that annoys/hurts us… the bad guy has no emotions, and only really concentrates on themself

By: Regina

Regina — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 04:06:36 +0000

OMG, this is funny. My ex is not great looking. He has some nice features, but he is dumpy and balding. Still, he has an ego the size of North Montana (movie reference for the enlightened. ;p). Why was I attracted to him? Initially, I wasn’t, but he was funny and I got along with his family. The conclusion of this story is that he is an abusive, selfish prick, who ended up living with me for 3 years with no sex, because he assaulted me. I don’t want to misrepresent myself, as I don’t have so much confidence in my looks, but given his looks, I think he saw me as a trophy, and a man as “worthy” as he is can’t lose. He tried to hold onto me for 3 years, but I made it clear from the moment I left that it was over, and it never changed for me.

My current, uh, boyfriend (we’re taking it very slowly), is good looking enough to be the stereotypical bad boy and is outwardly so, but he won me with confidence AND politeness (um, there’s more to this, but he is a complex person, who also comes across as genuine), before I ever even saw that side of him, which he doesn’t direct at me (yeah, I’m looking out for it–lol). I’ve had enough of the other BS. Add to that that I am faithful. It is the respectful sort that wins my heart, and I have never dated a “cad” type. Even my ex doesn’t quite fit the category. Also, I don’t sleep around, and have no desire to. A man who would disrespect my relationship status is no friend to me, and it doesn’t matter how attractive he is to other women.

I’m pretty sure I’m rare, but like they say: A lady in public; a whore in the bedroom. Well, a gentleman in public and to his lady (or just to his lady and to certain public), a cad in the bedroom. ;p

By: Regina

Regina — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 03:47:47 +0000

I think this is the best response so far. I am in a relationship (for lack of a better word), with someone others perceive as a bad boy. Openly, he is rude and calloused. With me, he is sweet and considerate and humble, and mostly respectful (moments of disrespect have gone both ways). Always, he is opinionated–lol. I didn’t think I was ready for this relationship, but he was too adorable when wooing me, even showing doubts in his ability to do so, but still very confident. Some things that have occurred between us and things that have occurred outside of our relationship have stricken both of our self-confidence and confidence within our relationship. He does have confidence issues, though. I think my ex could more fit the description of the “bad boy” than my current boyfriend, as my ex is more narcissistic, but tries to portray himself as the “perfect husband.” If my boyfriend makes some comment about a good aspect of himself, he does so by selling himself short. “Well, you know I AT LEAST…”

He does have some “bad boy” characteristics, and some that only appear to be so. The ones that are solidly “bad boy” I am watching for, to make sure they don’t damage our relationship. But if we can work these things out, he’ll be a nice “bad boy” and he WON’T finish last. I am way more attracted to him than any other man I’ve been with.

I think the worst times with him, though, are when he doubts me. I’m as faithful as they come, and when he shows this doubt, it is the time I find him least attractive. Some concern is fine, feeling a “little” possessive is a compliment, being some degree of self-deprecating is more attractive than over-confidence bordering narcissism. Any of these to an extreme is not attractive and can be insulting, embarrassing, or even dangerous. Quiet confidence with instrospection (because it takes confidence to be introspective) is the most attractive and appealing, to me.

And btw, a girl doesn’t have to be a “B” to “tame” a bad boy. I think men are men, and want to be loved and respected as much as anyone else. But for me, I HAVE to be respected and considered in order for the other to receive such admiration. I told my boyfriend to be himself and let me decide if I can handle it. If I decide I can’t handle it, I see no point in nagging. I’ll express myself, and let him decide what to do. If he can’t adjust or I can’t adjust, we’ll go our separate ways. If we can’t make it as ourselves, it would be better to let go than try to make each other change, or we’ll be miserable anyway, and I’ve had my fill of misery.

But yeah, if your goal is to max out your “sex card” nice guys (as opposed to weenies) probably have fewer dates (although maybe more sex, ;p).

By: cris

cris — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 19:55:47 +0000

Wow, i must say for 40+ years of dating you still obviously havent lost your ablitity to be a complete TOOL, whatever text book you recieved your information on is pretty bad, yes obviously it has been stated that attraction isnt a choice it is a chemical reaction, but you honestly are going to say that women see bad boys as a better guardian for their offspring. Wow you really probably are a PUA all talk no brains, studies by actual SCIENTISTS all over the world have shown that women are attracted to nice and bad boys for different reasons, generaly it is their hormones that control whom they are pulled in toward, but it has been known time and time again that when it comes to quick flings and meaningless sex women chase after bad boys for just that the chase, while for serious long term relationshpis they go to nice well rounded (actualy have their life together) guys.

And for the fact of your answer, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU to tell this guy he is hopeless and hey thanks for trying but all girls will just go for insecure bad boys in the end, im sorry i guess i didnt know you know all women, ya guess what Mr Mid life crisis express (probably why your 40 married and coming on here to put down younger decent guys) While its easy to know women are attracted to bad boys, 9/10 its because they think they can change him and guess what (still surprising considering your in your 40′s and havent realized this)
women eventualy grow out of this phase, ya the loser here you are insulting telling him he is hopeless
guess what HE is one day going to be some womans husband because he is a real MAN.

You just have to love how you all say “nice guys are wusses” well guess what everyone has their own stuff in thier lives to deal with we all arent perfect, and at least nice guys admit that, they dont just use people and string them along but in the end hide that they are just afraid of commitment and relatonships like your pathetic bad boys

BAD BOYS
YOU GUYS ARE THE REAL LOSERS