What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive

What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive?  The answer revealed!

Last night I was partaking in my usual Monday night, guilty pleasure of watching the Bachelor Pad.  In case you don’t know the Bachelor Pad is a spin off of the Bachelor series where they take ex contestants, put them in a house and have them compete for $250,000.  During the competition they are also interacting with the opposite sex and attempting to possibly find love.

Every week I say to myself, I have to show that clip to you. And every week, I forget to do it but this week is different.  This weeks clip was too good to forget about.

I have titled the video clip below: Looks Only Go So Far, What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive.  Many men never believe me when I say that, women will choose personality over looks every time.  Looks can get you in the door, but it’s personality that will keep you there.

My commentary is sprinkled throughout the video.

Watch as Jesse B, who is a total cutie, can INSTANTLY lose Peyton’s attraction and become repulsive.

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

Marni’s Commentary: So I am pretty sure some of you are going to say to me “What a bit*h.  She should give him a chance. He made 1 mistake…..”  I have heard this from people before and my answer is always the same.  I tell you how women DO react, not how they SHOULD react.  Based on that theory, Jesse SHOULD have not made these stupid mistakes, but he did. AND what he did, in case it was not clear,  was hurt her feelings because he took away an amazing romantic moment that she thought he was feeling as well.

As a woman, I could feel Peyton’s disappointment because I constantly experience this in my own relationship.  When I am in a romantic mood and turned on by my man and then he does something “dudeish” I get sad.  Sad that the moment wasn’t reciprocated. The thing is that I understand it from the guys POV as well.  I know that when I am with my man and we are really connecting, he gets comfortable with me and when he gets comfortable he lets out his real self.  Sometimes his real self wants to pick my nose or fart.  As much as I should take it as a compliment, I don’t.

Same thing happened with Jesse. Jesse got super comfortable and showed his true self, which is great.  BUT there is a difference between being yourself with the guys and a being yourself with a woman you are on a second date with and trying to date/sleep with/be with. This was Jesse and Peyton’s 2nd date not their 6th year of a relationship.  Therefore Peyton only has the 1st date and this experience to form her opinion of him.  And sadly for Jesse, her opinion is NOT FOR ME.

Let me know what you think.  Post your comment and share your thoughts.

Also, check out my latest product review on Scot Mckay’s newest product The Man’s Approach:

Product Review: The Man’s Approach

Produced By: Scot Mckay of X&Y Communications

Now you may or may not know this but I LOVE Scot Mckay and his materials. Why? Because they are genuine, real and easy to put to practice.  His products and teachings are very in-line with mine.  We both believe that inner confidence and comfort are the driving force for success with women. His newest product, The Man’s Approach, definitely lives up to this reputation I hold for Scot.

The Man’s Approach is the definitive tool kit for the regular guy that doesn’t want to be a pick up artist but a real man.

The first thing I want to say about this product is HOLY SH*T is this packed with content. There must be at least 30 + hours of product materials PLUS tons of bonus materials that include 30 minutes of coaching to the first 50 buyers. Now you would think with all this content it would be extremely overwhelming, but the way Scot has laid out the materials has made it very easy to use.

Materials are separated into clear cut categories so that you can pick and choose the materials you want, when you want them. For example, you want to understand how to pick up a waitress, there is a video dedicated just to picking up waitresses.  You want to know how to ask for a phone number, there is another video just for asking for phone numbers. So even though there is a lot of material it is still very easy to use.

As I said this program provides step by step instructions on EVERY possible scenario you could possibly encounter.  No “Pick Up” routines, or lines, or tricks.  He gives solid, sincere and honest advice that every man can use to succeed with women.

Here are just some of the topics covered through video examples and audio directions:

- Approaching Women

- Starting Conversations & Creating Attraction

- Getting Her Number

- Meeting Women in Various Situations:

- Igniting Femininity – This one is super important

These are just a few of the topics covered in audio format with a written PDF transcript attached.

THEN he has a whole video section as well with visual examples and instructions.

Some of the topics include: How to handle adversity, meeting several women at once, waitresses, meeting women at bars, on the street, at the gym, dating single moms….

Here are preview pics of the a few of video materials offered:

When I say this program covers it all, IT COVERS IT ALL and effectively.

Marni’s Rating: 4.5 Stars

From a woman’s point of view, Scot’s directions are not just spot on, but they are clear and easy to follow for every man. If you are looking for an at home kit that provides step-by-step instructions on how to properly execute: Attraction, Self Confidence, Approaching, Engaging, Connecting, Escalating and Dating then this program is for you.

To find out more about Scot’s program The Man’s Approach Click Here

Asking Out A Girl: The Proper Way To Do It!

As I have told you before, I have many guy friends.  Guy friends who I love and think are the best guys in the world. And guy friends who can still shock me when I see how terribly they handle themselves with women.  Lucky for my guy friends, they have me to get their female advice from.

I was on the phone the other night with one of my guy friends talking about girls, sex, attraction, love, past relationships and he told me about this girl he had been interested in a long time ago back at college that he happened to see by his office that day. He said that he always regretted not asking her out in college and that he wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass by him again.

So he did some recon work and got her email address. I told him to show me his email before sending it to her. Thank goodness he showed me because it would have been disaster had he sent it.

Our email correspondence is below along with my commentary on how to ask out a girl properly:

Email from friend:

Hey X,

I hope you’re enjoying your summer and BDM’s treating you well.

We never actually speak when we see each other, and I think we should change that.

Let me know if you want to grab a coffee or a drink some time.

Y (My Friend)

********

My Response:

Did you send this yet? Please say you didn’t. Its sweet but it has no oomph to it to get a girl riled up. It can be stronger and more attractive. Seems a little soft. Again it’s good but it can be better.

Marni’s Commentary: Woman are at their peak of attraction when they have the opportunity to feel their most feminine. My friends email was not terrible, it was nice.  But there was nothing to latch onto. No excitement but really sweet.  You want to offer a woman something that she basically has no choice but to say YES to. Not because she was forced to say yes, but because she was intrigued and excited.

Marni

********

Friends Response

I could just say:

Hey X,

Would you like to meet for a coffee one day?

…But I put in the other filler and formality because she doesn’t actually know me. The opening summer stuff is there as polite throat clearing before moving on to the point.

Y (My Friend)

********

My Response:

Don’t be polite. Also say what YOU want. Try it that way.

Marni’s Commentary: I find that when guys are trying to “be polite” they end up coming off as saps, wimps or suck ups. No good, not attractive and does not get the reaction you are looking for from a woman. The more masculine and direct you can be with a woman the better.  This does not mean be a jerk, an a**hole etc.

*******
Friends Response

X,

Got the wave in the Path last week, but we never actually speak when we see each other.  Let’s change that!

Do you have time for a coffee or a drink this week?

Y (My friend)

*********

My Response:

So much better.  Love the let’s change that part but get rid of the exclamation point. Needs one more tweak, but getting there. Does it feel better to you?

Try I WANT as part of what you say. I want to get to know you better or I want to take you out or I want to change that.

Marni’s Commentary: In the beginning stages of dating it’s about YOU. What YOU want, what YOU are looking for.  You do not know HER yet, so the person to take care of is you.  Therefore do not be ashamed or fear that you are being too obvious with what you are asking for.  Being DIRECT AND HONEST will always get you the best results. YOU want to date her. YOU want to sleep with her. YOU want to go for coffee.  So say it. Say what you want

*******

Friends Response:

Got the wave in the Path last week, but we never actually speak when we see each other.  I want to change that.

Do you have time for a coffee or a drink this week?

Y

*******

Marni’s Response:

Love this!!!  Send

*******

Friends Response:

Subject: I Owe You One

This is what she wrote back to me 10 minutes after I sent:

Hey Y,

yes the Path seems to be such a social place these days! I am always running into familiar faces.  I’d be down for a coffee break this week – any day but Thursday works for me!

*******

Marni’s Response:

Yay!!!! Send me your response before you write back.

*******

Friends Response:

Ok great, let’s do Friday. I had to run out of the office this afternoon and only just got home. I’ll tell you about it Friday, but it will likely make tomorrow super busy for me.

Are you able to get away 2:30ish Friday?

- I feel bad because I did not get her email till just now which is 4 hours after she wrote.  Should I just write tomorrow.

*******

Marni’s Response:

Nooo!!!!!  I hope you didn’t sent that. You are pouncing, throwing up on her.  You can tell her about your great day when you see her.  No need now.  In response to your last comment, you have a life, you are busy, you work hard, therefore all your energy does not need to suddenly shift direction for this girl.  You will get back to her when you get a chance to.  Wait until tomorrow and write a direct email saying you will meet her at XYZ at this time. Done. Direct =’s Sexy.  Lots of words and fluff =’s a future of her crying on your shoulder about other guys.  Get my point.

Marni

Marni’s Commentary: My friend took my advice and they are now on their date.  Listen, the first email my friend wrote to this girl may have gotten a response, it may have even gotten him on a date. It was not a horrible email but it wasn’t attractive.  It was nice and polite.  My friend has a habit of caring too much how he appears to women and goes over the top nice with the ones he likes.  This email exchange coupled with a confident, comfortable, genuine character at coffee =’s masculine, attractive, sexy to a woman.  It gets him the response, the date and the butterflies in the girls stomach.

Do you want women to find you attractive and give them butterflies rather than giving them a new male shoulder to cry on?

I have put together an amazing new program where you can get access to me and my female advice 24 hours a day. You can become one of my new guy friends and I will safely guide you through your sticky situations with women so that you always WIN and come out on top!  Click Here to Find Out More

Guide To Selecting The Proper Accessories For Men

Last week you I introduced you my wonderful, attractive stylist friend Erin, who told you what to wear for summer dating.  This post is a follow up to that piece.  It tells you what to wear for summer dating when dealing with accessories.

Most men don’t realize how much fashion choices impact their success with women. Whether you need the right look for that first date, special event or just a night out at the bar, it is important to look your best. Looking your best is another helpful tool for feeling your best.

Listen, if I am totally into a guy, it doesn’t matter what he wears, at least not in the beginning.  But as a woman, if I am ever “sitting on the fence” little things like their style and accessories come into play.  They can either make me more attracted or turn me off completely.

Don’t give women a chance to waiver! Read the Erin’s list of fashion do’s and don’ts to ensure you always select the proper accessories.  If you want to find out more about working with Erin one-on-one CLICK HERE.

What To Wear For Summer Dating – Accessories Every Man Must Have

Shoes:

While snake skin or square-toed shoes were once considered in vogue currently they are not. Right now the trend is the “winged tip” or “oxford” look.  Boat shoes have also made quite the comeback. For a more casual look you could either wear a sneaker or a sandal. Low top black Converse All Stars have proven to be the classic sneaker of choice. Also the cream colored sneaker shown is a great option for dressy casual events. Do not wear flip-flops unless at the beach.  Avoid hiking inspired looking sandals completely. Instead opt for a classic simple leather criss-cross sandal that hugs the foot. I prefer a dark brown leather sandal to a light colored one.

Jewelry:

Stay away from novelty necklaces, dog tags, puka shells and anything that lights up. Men should keep their jewelry simple and understated. Preferably your jewelry will have some sentimental value, which will make great for a conversational piece. Also a bold watch is an excellent way to “flash” with out being “flashy”.

Sunglasses:

If you can afford to spend a little extra on sunglasses I would say this is a wise investment. Avoid pairs that have a hologram reflection, colorful tint, that have a huge logo on them or that wrap around (Oakly’s). Instead opt for an aviator, Wayfarer or other such style-savvy shape.

Grooming:

Maintenance should be on your regular to-do list for life. Men’s hair should be cleaned up every three weeks, and nails need to be trimmed every 10 days. Facial hair can either work for you or against you. Do not overly “man-scape” your face. A five o-clock shadow is much better than a perfectly trimmed beard. You want to appear masculine and rugged. Think George Clooney. Smooth skin is also a necessity. I notice that a lot of men have dry flaky skin or oily skin with blackheads. You must own a good skin scrub. This will help you clean your skin and will rid you of dry flakes and black heads. Also pick up some crest white strips and a pack of gum. With modern technology there is no excuse for yellow teeth and bad breath.

Hair:

Hair is like fashion. It is always changing. Make sure that you have an updated cut and are not stuck in a time warp holding on to the glory days. I would suggest to stop going to Super Cuts and would opt for a trendier salon. Hair is very important and it’s best to leave this up to a professional. Avoid using gel, hair spray or mousse. Pomade, wax and sculpting paste are better products that will give you the right texture for your hair. If you have thinning hair longer hairstyles only serve to accentuate what’s already gone, but a closer crop will maximize coverage. Whatever you do, do not comb it over! Also avoid using too much hair product. Strands of hair end up clumping together only to bare all for world to see. So use sparingly.

Do you want to know if your style is holding you back from attracting and getting the right girl?

Click Here to find out what you can do RIGHT NOW to improve your look and increase your success with women!

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Men’s Makeover: Full Style Assessment & Report

Transform Your Appearance & Skyrocket
Your SEXUAL Appeal… One That Makes
ANY Woman Want You Guaranteed!

Hi my name is Erin, assistant stylist to the world’s hottest superstars.

By now you should know that women don’t necessarily want a man who is good-looking, all they want is a man who knows how to look good, that’s all!

… And helping guys look their very best is something I am *pretty* good at So if you’re not totally satisfied with how you’re looking now or if you think you can do much “better” than you are right now, I’m here to assure you that you can change the way you look, you can finally strut through life with sheer confidence, you can finally be that guy who walks into the room and instantly becomes the center of attention…

Put another way… You will look super sexy and super hot… after I’m done styling you… I GUARANTEE it

You can definitely unlock your ‘hidden’ potential by using my secret techniques and following my step-by-step plan. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re the ugliest guy alive or if you think your appearance is just “average”… these strategies will work for you.

I will complete a *detailed* fashion Consultation within 72 hours. This includes a detailed page report on fashion tips personal to YOU regarding what you are doing right and wrong with your style and grooming. No sugar-coating, no fluff, just straight-to-the-point, productive USE-ABLE information that you can use straight away!

Your report will include names of suggestions of places to shop, lists of products, photos of hair examples, photos of inspiration for their new look and a list of essential staple pieces of clothing that will BEST improve your wardrobe. This package ALSO includes one follow up LIVE phone call where I will answer any question you may have (whatever it may be).

As a special VIP Wing Girl customer offer, you’ll get it all at a whopping 70% off the regular $660.00 price everyone else has to pay! Of course, it comes with the same 100% Money-Back Guarantee and payment options still apply.

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To work with me one-on-one, all you need to do is Click the RED button below, fill out the form and within 72 hours I will call you!

What To Wear For Summer Dating

Fashion and style is always a tricky topic for me. I can tell when someones outfit is bad but I don’t know how to make suggestions on what would work for their body. The ability to do that is a definite skill. So when I wanted to write a piece about fashion for you, I contacted my girl Erin, an amazing stylist in NYC, and asked her to help me out by writing some instructions on what to wear for summer dating.

As much as I talk about the inside being the most important, which it is, sometimes the outside needs a little work too. From my own experience I know that when I dress correctly for my body and feel stylish and feminine, my confidence goes through the roof. I carry myself differently and therefore others around me take more notice. The same thing will happen to you.

Erin has written a list of her “must have” items for what to wear for summer dating along with some pictures so you can see what she means.

To find out more about Erin and work with her one-on-one (she works with men all over the world over skype) Click Here

What To Wear For Summer Dating

Hi I am Erin. I have been working with men in the PUA community as a Fashion Consultant for the past four years. It is truly my pleasure to work within a community of men that value themselves and women so much that they would be willing to face their own challenges and learn how to be the best possible version of themselves. I love it when a man comes to the realization that “whatever has been working for me in the past (or what I thought has been) isn’t cutting it.” He realizes that it’s time for a change, and those are the guys that I really hold near and dear to my heart.

Please read ahead for What To Wear Summer Dating: Essentials Summer Fashions, my top Fashion Don’ts and a break down of my favorite fashion essentials.

Essentials Summer Fashions:

*White light weight cotton button down in a short and long sleeve
*A pair of dark straight legged jeans
*A pair of khaki flat front slim shorts that are approximately one inch above the knee
*A white slim fit V-neck
*A light weight well fitted blazer in navy blue or khaki
*A pair of leather criss cross sandals
*A pair of brown leather wingtip style shoes aka oxfords; wear them sockless.
*A vintage or vintage-inspired straw type fedora
*A pair of Ray Ban Wayfarers or aviator type sunglasses
*A nice silver or gold simple neck chain with a meaningful pendant.
*An updated haircut, white teeth, and smooth skin.

Fashion Don’ts

*Do not wear embellished anything! No rips, studs, embroidery, graphics, rhinestones.
*Do not over saturate your hair with style products like gel, mouse or hairspray.
*Do not wear dirty sneakers other than to the gym.
*Do not wear jeans that are older than 3 years old, unless they are an amazing vintage pair.
*Do not wear cargo shorts with huge pockets and an army print.
*Do not wear cow-boy boots or pointy snake skin shoes.
*Do not have “shaped” eyebrows or artistic facial hair.
*Do not wear sporty type sunglasses like Oakleys.
*Do not have a long pony tail or a comb-over.
*Do not wear flashy jewelry.

Now onto the specifics. If you have any questions or even things to add, post them in the comments section at the bottom of the page. Your tips can be helpful to others.

T-shirt and Polos:

A simple black or white Calvin Klein V or crew neck T-shirt is a great way to look casual yet chic. V-necks are a great way to create the illusion of a slimmer neckline, particularly if you have a double chin, as they place emphasis on your chest area instead of on your neck.

Avoid “freebie t-shirts”, Logo t-shirts (Abercrombie/ Hollister types), anything Ed Hardy or Affliction, graphic logos, embellishments, and shirts with witty statements on them. Let’s save these styles for the frat boys and the Jersey Shore. Slim fit Polos are the way to go. Please avoid popping the collar.

Button Downs:

Button Downs are wonderful. They provide clean lines and are very flattering to all body types. “Slim fit” is the best. I notice that a lot of men don’t wear the correct fit. Most of the time they tend to wear their button downs over-sized which tend to make their frame look “stocky”. So make sure that your fits your body. Avoid graphic and embellishments on button downs as well. Short sleeve button downs are a great way to look casual but well put together during hot days. Also I love the way it looks when a man rolls up his shirt sleeve to his elbows for a relaxed look. Both of the looks below are great.

Blazers:

Blazers are a great way to flatter any figure flaws. To make your upper body look more muscular, purchase blazers with light shoulder padding. Be warned that bigger is not better here, as small shoulder pads will give your back and chest a visual boost, but massive padding will make you seem like a small boy lost in a man’s jacket. Wear jackets at the right length. When it comes to jackets, make sure they all fall right under your buttocks.

Denim or Slacks:

You really can’t go wrong with a pair of straight leg dark or black denim. Wear it to the office with a white oxford and navy blazer or throw on a leather jacket for a street-ready look on the weekends. Avoid a lot of rips, tears, fades and embellishments. As for slacks I would avoid pleats as they add bulk and would stick to a slim flat front fit. Currently a rolled hem to about mid calf is very in style. This should look like an after thought as opposed to a perfect roll.

Shorts:

Don’t wear cargo shorts (the ones with huge pockets). The secret to a great pair of men’s shorts is finding ones that don’t stray away from a straight line running from hip to hem. And speaking of hems, yours should always end an inch or two above the knee.

That sums up our Summer Essentials. Next week I am going to go over accessories and hair.

I know all this sounds a little overwhelming and it may even sound intimidating but it’s actually very simple. A few tiny changes in your wardrobe can totally transform the way you feel.

TIP: Print out your summer list of your Summer Essentials and go to your local department store. Most big department stores have stylists that can assist you FOR FREE with picking out styles that work best for you. Even better, grab a girl at the store and tell her to dress you. Women like nothing better than to help men with fashion.

*******

I have worked with Erin for over year and she has worked wonders on several of my clients.
Do you want to know if your style is holding you back from attracting and getting the right girl?

Click Here to find out what you can do RIGHT NOW to improve your look and increase your success with women!

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#1 Secret To Dating Younger Women

Want to know the #1 Secret To Dating Younger Women?

I get at least 2-3 emails a week from men asking whether or not they can date girls who are younger than them.

I always find this to be such a strange question because there should never be any limitations on who you can and cannot date.

Listen, if the girl is 16 I am obviously going to advise against it but if she is legal and you connect, then I play ball!

The real question I like to throw back at these men is why are you putting boundaries on what you can and cannot do?

The #1 Secret To Dating Younger Women is to stop thinking about what complete strangers (women) want and start going after what you want. The only thing that stops you from getting what you want is your own head. So if you think that a younger women will not be interested in you then she won’t be. How could she be?

Thinking that younger women will not be attracted to you is an issue with YOU not women. The longer you have this belief the longer you will not be dating younger women.

The way to get rid of this belief is simple. Just throw it out the window and stop letting your insecurity about your age be your crutch or defense mechanism.

I can tell you that I have a lot of female friends who prefer dating older men.  In fact, I happen to be one of them.  In the past I had dated men who have been up to 20 years older than me and am now married to a man that is 10 years my senior.  To be honest at times, the issue of age did come into my mind but quickly disappeared every time.

There was one instance when age did become an issue and that was the time when the guy I was dating became totally fixated and insecure about our difference in age.  It was brought up every 2 weeks and I could tell that he was very uncomfortable with it.  This made me uncomfortable with it and it also annoyed me having to constantly defend my age and the reason we were together. Exhausting and very unattractive.

I thought it would be interesting to interview them and see why they preferred dating older men compared to men their own age.

“Older men are like a breath of fresh air. Most of the men that are my age (26) are not comfortable in their skin yet. They are still figuring themselves out. I did that 3 years ago and am ready to be with someone that is a little more mature, independent and confident.” – Melissa 26

“I like to date men who are in their late 30′s – early 40′s. They are less headaches and are more open to communicating because they are not worried about looking cool and being macho. Plus they know who they are or are at least closer to getting there then men my own age.” – Jennifer 27

“I have dated younger men and I have dated older men and I definitely prefer dating older men. They are just better. Men who are younger or my age don’t really interest me. I find it easier to connect to older men.” – Belinda 35

Everyone around you is an option and therefore women young or old will be attracted to you as long as you are attracted to yourself.

Remember, you can’t turn anyone on if you aren’t turning yourself on and doubt mixed with poor self worth will not turn anybody on.

To instantly get more FREE Insider information from me sent directly to your in-box every week fill out your name and email below:

Enjoy!!!!

How To Talk To Women

The most common questions I receive from men all over the world are about How To Talk To Women? And it got me thinking why is this question so common? Why are men so confused on how to talk to women and then I realized it was because the way that men talk to one another and the way women talk are totally different.

When women talk, they look for connectors, emotional connectors. So men that understand this about women, have an upper hand over other males.

So what I am going to do, with the help of my friend Bill, from PUA Forums, is teach you a few tools to use so that you can connect to women in conversation and will never again have to ask me how to talk to women.

Bill discusses what he uses to remember to connect with women when talking with them. He remembers to  Listen, Confirm and Affirm which I thought was genius and as a woman I can say these actions are definitely appreciated and rewarded at any stage, be it attracting, dating, relationship or marriage.  Connecting to women does not stop once you get her number.

Here is a brief summary of Listen ,Confirm and Affirm

Learn – Learn something about a woman by asking a question or by having her tell you something about herself

Confirm – Confirm you have heard her by talking about the topic at hand for example giving your own take on the topic either by sharing a story or expanding on hers

Affirm – Affirm that because of this “thing” she has told you makes you like her more

Listen to the full audio (16 minutes) that gives a much longer description with exact examples on how to talk to women and how to connect to them through conversation.  After you are done listening to the video, Click Here to see another one of Bill’s famous moves called The Whiskey Kiss!

To watch a video on how to perform the Whiskey Kiss Click Here!

When Should I Call Her?… Text Game, Phone Game, Email Game

When Should I Call Her?

There’s that cliché in the movies where the girl is sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring, picking it up to make sure there’s still a dial tone.

It’s the perfect depiction of the anxiety and near-obsession us girls start to feel when we don’t hear from you within the first few weeks of dating. And now with all these other means of contact—text, email, Facebook post—it’s even more confusing. We’re sitting there thinking, “does he not like me? Did I do something wrong? Has he moved on?”

What we fail to consider is that it may be none of the above. It may just be that you have no idea how often or when you should contact us, which is something plenty of my guy pals have expressed to me.

So here’s a few quick pointers to answer the question “When Should I Call Her?”  just to get you started:

#1: If it feels too often…

It probably is.
Once I met a guy on a Sunday. He asked me out for Friday. He called or texted me everyday until then.
I didn’t mind so much, since I was really into him too, but by the following Wednesday the whole thing was over. How much contact you have is a component of the relationship that needs to build with time, unfolding at a steady pace. If you’re already talking everyday from the start, where do you go from there? And in the event that you do decide to take a “day off” and not drop us a line, we may start questioning ourselves yet again. Not a good tone to set in a relationship, especially in the beginning.

Lesson for you – Don’t POUNCE on her! Never attractive and never, ever works! Trust me.

#2: If it’s her birthday…

CALL HER.
Don’t text, don’t join her 50 co-workers and high school acquaintances with a generic “happy birthday!” on Facebook. Pick up the phone ala 1985. Knowing that you took that extra step that is rarely taken anymore will let us know you care. Granted, there’s the question of when gifts should come into play, but that’s for another blog.

#3: If you’re on vacation…

This all depends on how much you care, and how much you want to show it and how far into “dating” you are. If you’re on a weekend getaway with your buds and still have cell service, even just a quick text can make our day. The fact that you have all these other fun distractions, but we’re still on your mind and you took the time to make it known? That’s sure to get some butterflies going in our tummies.

***But if you’re not pursuing something a little more serious, let it be. Enjoy your vacation on your own and get in touch when you’re back.

#4: If you’re “really busy”…

I don’t care. Find the time. Because guess what? If this turns into a full-blown relationship, there’s bound to be plenty of more times when you’ll be overwhelmed at work or helping a buddy move. But you’re not gonna go two weeks without talking to your girlfriend, are you? I didn’t think so. So if you’re into this new chick enough that you think you might want her to become a girlfriend—and you’re also getting that vibe back from her!—act accordingly. Do a little check in or send a quick note via text or email.  But keep it short, 2 min max. Let her know you are super busy but just wanted to check in and say.  This shows you care about her but that you still respect your work and your future.

***But if you’re not pursuing something a little more serious, then wait till you are free to call. Only touch in if you want to show her you really want to connect.

#5: If you said you would call her…

I can’t believe I actually have to address this. If you say you’re gonna do something, do it! Don’t leave her hanging. Please.

The most important overall note when it comes to answering the question “When Should I Call Her?” is that in dating there must be respect. Respect for yourself, respect for her, respect for your current life and respect for hers.  In the beginning is when you get to establish boundaries, set parameters in which you would like the rest of your relationship to follow.

Online Dating: Using the Right Words In Your Online Dating Profile

Part 2 of our mini series for Online Dating is about using the right words in your online dating profile.

When I was using online dating, I came across SOOOOOO many men who didn’t understand how to present themselves well online. It was sad for me, because I knew that if these guys made a few simple wording tweaks they would get the recognition they deserve. BUT because of some minor errors they were turning off women and making them click out of their profile.

Below is another great article from Adam Gilad, who is a specialist when it comes to online dating.  Trust me! This guy is a master in the online dating world and he has taken what he is learned from his experiences to write the article below.  My feedback is included in bold.

Article From Adam:

You were probably taught these rules in high school, but it’s also possible you were too busy staring at the girl next to you to have paid attention. It’s okay and you’re forgiven.  In fact, there might have been something wrong with you if you preferred grammar at age 16!

So here’s a quick rundown.  These points are simple, but crucial for a successful profile that isn’t completely ignored at first glance:

1. Don’t misspell: Stick your file in Word and spell check it. Women hate it when men misspell.  It shows sloppiness and a lack of attention to detail.  Women like attention to detail.  Think about it — consider their predilection for decoration and, oh, foreplay?  So pay attention to details. The two words I see misspelled most often – “independent” and “definitely.”  Also, know the difference between desert and dessert. Listen, I myself have been busted a few times for horrible grammar and spelling errors in my newsletters.  So I get that it’s tough to have proper grammar.  But there is a difference between impeccable grammar and careless mistakes.  Proof read yourself or a get a friend to help.  You don’t want stupid, obvious mistakes popping out at women. Trust me, it will turn them off instantly.

2. Avoid clichés: You are not a hopeless romantic, a gentleman and a scholar, a boy next door.  You are an individual worthy of individual expression. Use individual and unique definitions for yourself. I love it when men use the word individual. I think it is sexy and strong and it means so much to me.  The cliches actually make me sick to my stomach. It just screams “I am trying so hard and I think this is what women want to hear”.  We do not want to hear it.

3. Avoid generic language: You don’t like walks on the beach, a nice wine with dinner, or feel as comfortable in jeans and t shirt as you do in a tux. Same comment as above.  I have an audio recording for you in the part of the series that explains this further.

Do yourself a huge favor. Go read other men’s profiles and see how often guys write the exact same thing.  They are clueless.  More importantly, to an attractive woman online, they become the same as all the others… invisible.  (You can usually cloak your profile to go look at guys’ profiles, if the idea of that sounds weird.  Just go “invisible.” Most dating sites have that option. This is a great idea.  See who pops out to you and then study what it is they do.  It will help a lot.

4. Be precise in your language: Say Chicago Blues instead of blues.  Shiraz is better than “wine.” No Chardonnay (feminine), orMerlot (lazy).  The Palms is better than Vegas.  Rib-eye steak is better than mere steak.   Azure is better than blue.  Aspen grove is better than forest. Not sure about a few of these but a good note to take away from this rule is, know what you are talking about. Don’t fake it to impress.  If you want to talk about wines and really know what you are saying then study up on it.  I have have a great article here on wines if you like. Click here to read

The more precisely you can paint the environment of your life, the more tactilely and sensually her imagination will project her into it (much more on that in other articles!) The more real you will feel to her and the more her senses will wake up when reading your profile or emails.

5. Be dynamic in your language: Avoid static words like “is”, “are” and “have” – those are static verbs.  USE A THESAURUS to make your sentences sizzle, and that often starts with what are called active verbs.

Example: If you love your dog, you might want to write: I love dogs!” BORING! Rather, paint a picture of you relating to your dog that she can feel, see, enjoy and project herself into that picture… Painting a picture is huge.  Women want to visualize a scenario. That is why women use so many words during the day because they are constantly painting pictures.  This helps us capture an emotion so we can feel.  If you can paint a picture of what a woman COULD be part of you will capture her attention and her heart. Trust me.

“I like to spend Sunday mornings wrestling in the sand with my lab.  She’s hilarious- running up to say hi to everybody. You can practically see her laughing the whole time, and then we collapse and peacefully soak in the sun.”

That’s a happy picture vivid with action.  I don’t merely have a dog.  Rather the reader sees and imagines me wrestling, and laughing, and collapsing with my little furry pal.  What a playful guy!  And there’s room for her in the picture  too, so she can see herself lying down next to me at the end.  Who is that “we,” after all, she might wonder?

6. Show, Don’t Tell: Possibly the most important writing rule of all.  Don’t list.  Don’t talk and tell about yourself.  Show yourself. Same comment as above. I had a client who would interview date. Which means he would give exam type answers to questions asked by his date rather than paint a picture and get involved in his story.  This shows passion and women love passion.

If you are funny, do not say you are funny – be funny.  If you love your little nephew do not say he is the “light of my life” – paint a picture of something you and he do together or how he makes you laugh.

This is the difference between George Clooney coming on screen and telling you the story of Oceans 11, and George Clooney in the action of the film itself.  Which is more interesting?  Show your life; don’t list the facts of it.  Write little movie scenes in your profile.  She will be drawn into that movie, as anyone would.

Remember these 6 simple rules online and you’ll instantly stand out from all the hundreds of guys who don’t have a clue

As I said Adam is VERY experienced in the online dating world. As am I.  He has created a couple of amazing HOW TO programs for all steps of online dating.

DO YOU KNOW THE #1 SECRET THAT BUILDS ATTRACTION ONLINE?
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO FIND OUT:

One Night Stand: When Are Women Open To A One Night Stand?

One Night Only: When Are Women Open To A One night Stand?

My Wing Girl Zoey tells you exactly when a woman is open to a one night stand!

I could have a one night stand, and I’m the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, ‘Do you really have to be here?’ I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more… I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don’t feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have… I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. – Jessica Alba in “Cosmo”

There’s a common misconception that only a wanton slut, a Desperate Housewife, or DeDe the Dogfaced Girl would be the kind of woman open to a one-night stand.  But many desirable women, Jessica Alba included, aren’t afraid to satisfy their needs with no strings attached.  Truth be told, a vast majority of women have enjoyed a single night of passionate, no rules, no meaning, simple satisfying sex.  In the past we may not have admitted, even to our girlfriends, that we’d indulged in a one night stand for fear of being labeled and judged.  But more and more women are embracing their own empowerment and sense of fun and adventure, while choosing to leave the judgments and labels in the dark ages where they belong.

We’re all aware of the stereotypes of a weepy woman waiting by the phone for her one night stand wonder to fulfill his empty promise of “I’ll call you…” or the wannabe-wife who believes a night of sex translates into choosing a caterer and color theme for the wedding.  While these stereotypes are often the antithesis of real women, their desires and intentions, more than a few of us have had her feelings squashed by that troglodyte who wrote a check his ass couldn’t (and never meant to) cash.

After a couple of these disappointments, some women determine to not be let down again by any man.  She starts calling the shots, deciding with whom and when she wants to get laid; she becomes the architect of her own experience.  Rather than finding herself panicked and lonely, the woman unafraid to love ‘em and leave ‘em indulges in a night of passion and then simply goes on leading her full life.  Presented with the choice, she turns a one night stand into an experience instead of a disappointment.

For other women, spontaneity is simply a way of life.  This type of girl grabs opportunity by the balls and rides it for all its worth.  This type of adventure-girl believes life is too short to let an exciting opportunity pass her by.  The right guy, the right place, and the chance to regale her girlfriends with another fantastic story, is too irresistible.  This is her moment to enjoy her body and her sexuality with the right person to satisfy her needs at that time.  Waiting around for a one night stand to take her out to breakfast is not her style.  For the adventure-girl, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Even when she’s in Detroit.

Women are open to a one night stand on innumerable occasions, each with her own reason or for no reason at all.  She might be too busy to be tied down by a long-term commitment or maybe obligations make her feel trapped.  Perhaps she’s living out a lifelong fantasy of going home with a sexy stranger.  She might be on the rebound, unready for all the banal complications that come with dating someone new, but eager to sample some fresh flavors of men.  Or maybe she just wants what Erica Jong termed a “zipless fuck”: Unapologetic sex with no stings attached, pure and free of ulterior motives and power plays.  With no emotions involved, she’s able to get out of her head and truly enjoy the chance to leave behind all the contrived rules about romantic encounters and just have wild, hot, meaningless sex.  In between searching for our soul-mate and getting our hearts broken, who couldn’t use zipless screw now and then?

Here is your chance to listen to 2 women talk about their experiences with a one night stand, why we had a one night stand and what makes us want to have a one night stand!  Listen to the audio below:

Click Here To Listen To The Full 20 Minutes of our discussion of A One Night Stand!

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