When Is It Okay To Talk Dirty To A Woman?

When is it okay to talk dirty to a woman?

This is an area that has been fascinating me for the past week after getting an email from one of my clients, who I will refer to as D.

Email:

Marni,

Thanks for all your advice. I am having too much fun now.  I wish I truly understood this side of me in my teens and twenties.  Just knowing exactly what I want and what truly motivates me to pursue.

I am taking your advice on giving my dates a second chance. I didn’t know that you all (women) in general could be so wild. Now, I’m finding out even the shy/boring acting ones are too.  I told this one girl I was on a second date with  in so many words that her perfume smelled like an edible flower that I wanted to devour and from that point 80% of our conversation was sexual (mutually).

what is up with that?;)

D

****

D has been experimenting with flirting, banter and escalating to sexual conversations with women. And I must say, he is doing very well.  What he is learning is that the less he constricts himself on what he CAN say, the more attracted,  excited and open women become.
Why? Because lack of rules mixed with, being attracted and feeling safe, cause a subtle rush of excitement.

I gave D my response but wanted to dive a little deeper with other women in my network. So I sent an email out to about 200 women to ask them their thoughts on when it is okay to talk dirty to a woman, do women like to talk dirty and what did they think of D’s actions?

I got some mixed responses, which I have posted below.  My commentary will be at the end:

J – (26). Truth. Once I have a few cocktails I am up for anything, especially if I am into the guy.  Drunk translates to feeling relaxed and comfortable.  Know what I mean?

A – (40) I’m sorry, this may not be very generous of me, but is this guy 15? He sounds totally ill-equipped to be dating grown women.

Ellen (59) – My response might be relative to how much i have had to drink. un-drunk, 2nd date, i find it creepy; unless that is what you want from the relationship, just sex.  In a relationship, when you feel safe, you can have dirty/sexy talk, why not?

S – (28) That’s a pretty good line. I think it gets a response because flowers conjure up feeling of beauty, delicate-ness, a delicious-ness that every woman wants to feel & have it related to her. Therefore it is not too threatening and very sensual. I would definitely respond to it – #1 – if I was wearing a floral scented perfume (which I usually don’t, so could be viewed as a total come on line) #2 – if I was feeling some chemistry from our 1st date, I’d be open to sexually tinged conversation on the 2nd…

C – (32) – Hmmmm….  For me, I found the email to be sweet.  It sounds to me like this man is exploring his natural impulses of sensuality.  Rather than staying all buttoned-up tight as lots of our societal conditioning can want us to be! Personally…  I’m a big fan of tapping into the more primal energies that I believe are always present…  But not always accessed in our everyday modern lives. I think I would have enjoyed his question as well…  IF…  And this is a big IF…  It came from a pure place of sensual pleasure.  If it came from a creepy place, then of course it would be a different story.  But I think I would have appreciated his creativity, and his risk to break outside of the dating mold. I like, what I call, a little grrrrrrrrr-rr-rr-r-rr in a conversation!

E – (30) He needs to be careful because there is a fine line between saying something to get a rise and sexual harassment. It may be rewarding if the girl is the same way.

JM – (29) If you are into him, it’s hot – not if he is a nerd. That would totally creep me out.

Marni’s Commentary:

Here are my thoughts on the topic.  I truly believe that deep down inside most women crave to be released sexually BUT they want to be released in a safe and secure environment.

Let me explain. Women are more locked sexually than men because of the backlash women constantly receive for being overtly sexual.  Names like whore and slut come to mind.  I think for a lot of women moving past the fear of being labeled is difficult to do. I know that when I was younger I never wanted to be placed in either of those categories. Therefore I held back sexually until I was sure that the man would not take advantage of me and respected me.  Sadly for me it locked me up sexually.

Fortunately I have a partner now who has been able to “unlock” me and help me really experience sex.

Now that I am more comfortable with my sexuality I would love if someone I LIKED talked to me the way D talked to his date. It’s fun, it’s exciting and it’s out of the norm.  I will say that even though I am not a big drinker, a little alcohol would help me drop my inhibitions and fears and I would gladly play along.

Just note that the creepy comment comes up several times in the responses above. There is a fine line between being sexually exciting and creepy.  Be careful not to cross that line. Baby steps, feel out the women you are with. She will tell you how far you can go and how comfortable she is with talking dirty.

TAKE AWAY: Women are open to being sexual, if anything they WANT to be sexual as long as they feel comfortable.

Want to hear more honest and real opinions straight from the mouths of women on sex, attraction, being approached, connecting, dating, relationships and tons more? Then Click Here.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

I would love to hear your experiences, opinions or any questions you have.

Guide To A Successful First Date

First dates can be the most nerve racking experience.  You get stuck thinking of things to do on a date, where to go, how to behave.

But what if the next time you went on a first date you were well prepared and did not have to stress or think about any of the above? What if you always had a plan that would ensure you would always have a successful first date?

In this 5 minute audio below you will learn how to create a plan for a successful first date and always have things to do on a date! My friend Bill, from PUA Forums, discuss how to plan things to do on a date so that you can be stress free and enjoy the date! It’s a follow up to our first post together on how to talk to women.

Watch Bill in action as he walks you through how he makes the First Kiss fun and interesting to women. To see the  Whiskey Kiss Click Here!

How To Talk To Women

The most common questions I receive from men all over the world are about How To Talk To Women? And it got me thinking why is this question so common? Why are men so confused on how to talk to women and then I realized it was because the way that men talk to one another and the way women talk are totally different.

When women talk, they look for connectors, emotional connectors. So men that understand this about women, have an upper hand over other males.

So what I am going to do, with the help of my friend Bill, from PUA Forums, is teach you a few tools to use so that you can connect to women in conversation and will never again have to ask me how to talk to women.

Bill discusses what he uses to remember to connect with women when talking with them. He remembers to  Listen, Confirm and Affirm which I thought was genius and as a woman I can say these actions are definitely appreciated and rewarded at any stage, be it attracting, dating, relationship or marriage.  Connecting to women does not stop once you get her number.

Here is a brief summary of Listen ,Confirm and Affirm

Learn – Learn something about a woman by asking a question or by having her tell you something about herself

Confirm – Confirm you have heard her by talking about the topic at hand for example giving your own take on the topic either by sharing a story or expanding on hers

Affirm – Affirm that because of this “thing” she has told you makes you like her more

Listen to the full audio (16 minutes) that gives a much longer description with exact examples on how to talk to women and how to connect to them through conversation.  After you are done listening to the video, Click Here to see another one of Bill’s famous moves called The Whiskey Kiss!

To watch a video on how to perform the Whiskey Kiss Click Here!

Online Dating: Using the Right Words In Your Online Dating Profile

Part 2 of our mini series for Online Dating is about using the right words in your online dating profile.

When I was using online dating, I came across SOOOOOO many men who didn’t understand how to present themselves well online. It was sad for me, because I knew that if these guys made a few simple wording tweaks they would get the recognition they deserve. BUT because of some minor errors they were turning off women and making them click out of their profile.

Below is another great article from Adam Gilad, who is a specialist when it comes to online dating.  Trust me! This guy is a master in the online dating world and he has taken what he is learned from his experiences to write the article below.  My feedback is included in bold.

Article From Adam:

You were probably taught these rules in high school, but it’s also possible you were too busy staring at the girl next to you to have paid attention. It’s okay and you’re forgiven.  In fact, there might have been something wrong with you if you preferred grammar at age 16!

So here’s a quick rundown.  These points are simple, but crucial for a successful profile that isn’t completely ignored at first glance:

1. Don’t misspell: Stick your file in Word and spell check it. Women hate it when men misspell.  It shows sloppiness and a lack of attention to detail.  Women like attention to detail.  Think about it — consider their predilection for decoration and, oh, foreplay?  So pay attention to details. The two words I see misspelled most often – “independent” and “definitely.”  Also, know the difference between desert and dessert. Listen, I myself have been busted a few times for horrible grammar and spelling errors in my newsletters.  So I get that it’s tough to have proper grammar.  But there is a difference between impeccable grammar and careless mistakes.  Proof read yourself or a get a friend to help.  You don’t want stupid, obvious mistakes popping out at women. Trust me, it will turn them off instantly.

2. Avoid clichés: You are not a hopeless romantic, a gentleman and a scholar, a boy next door.  You are an individual worthy of individual expression. Use individual and unique definitions for yourself. I love it when men use the word individual. I think it is sexy and strong and it means so much to me.  The cliches actually make me sick to my stomach. It just screams “I am trying so hard and I think this is what women want to hear”.  We do not want to hear it.

3. Avoid generic language: You don’t like walks on the beach, a nice wine with dinner, or feel as comfortable in jeans and t shirt as you do in a tux. Same comment as above.  I have an audio recording for you in the part of the series that explains this further.

Do yourself a huge favor. Go read other men’s profiles and see how often guys write the exact same thing.  They are clueless.  More importantly, to an attractive woman online, they become the same as all the others… invisible.  (You can usually cloak your profile to go look at guys’ profiles, if the idea of that sounds weird.  Just go “invisible.” Most dating sites have that option. This is a great idea.  See who pops out to you and then study what it is they do.  It will help a lot.

4. Be precise in your language: Say Chicago Blues instead of blues.  Shiraz is better than “wine.” No Chardonnay (feminine), orMerlot (lazy).  The Palms is better than Vegas.  Rib-eye steak is better than mere steak.   Azure is better than blue.  Aspen grove is better than forest. Not sure about a few of these but a good note to take away from this rule is, know what you are talking about. Don’t fake it to impress.  If you want to talk about wines and really know what you are saying then study up on it.  I have have a great article here on wines if you like. Click here to read

The more precisely you can paint the environment of your life, the more tactilely and sensually her imagination will project her into it (much more on that in other articles!) The more real you will feel to her and the more her senses will wake up when reading your profile or emails.

5. Be dynamic in your language: Avoid static words like “is”, “are” and “have” – those are static verbs.  USE A THESAURUS to make your sentences sizzle, and that often starts with what are called active verbs.

Example: If you love your dog, you might want to write: I love dogs!” BORING! Rather, paint a picture of you relating to your dog that she can feel, see, enjoy and project herself into that picture… Painting a picture is huge.  Women want to visualize a scenario. That is why women use so many words during the day because they are constantly painting pictures.  This helps us capture an emotion so we can feel.  If you can paint a picture of what a woman COULD be part of you will capture her attention and her heart. Trust me.

“I like to spend Sunday mornings wrestling in the sand with my lab.  She’s hilarious- running up to say hi to everybody. You can practically see her laughing the whole time, and then we collapse and peacefully soak in the sun.”

That’s a happy picture vivid with action.  I don’t merely have a dog.  Rather the reader sees and imagines me wrestling, and laughing, and collapsing with my little furry pal.  What a playful guy!  And there’s room for her in the picture  too, so she can see herself lying down next to me at the end.  Who is that “we,” after all, she might wonder?

6. Show, Don’t Tell: Possibly the most important writing rule of all.  Don’t list.  Don’t talk and tell about yourself.  Show yourself. Same comment as above. I had a client who would interview date. Which means he would give exam type answers to questions asked by his date rather than paint a picture and get involved in his story.  This shows passion and women love passion.

If you are funny, do not say you are funny – be funny.  If you love your little nephew do not say he is the “light of my life” – paint a picture of something you and he do together or how he makes you laugh.

This is the difference between George Clooney coming on screen and telling you the story of Oceans 11, and George Clooney in the action of the film itself.  Which is more interesting?  Show your life; don’t list the facts of it.  Write little movie scenes in your profile.  She will be drawn into that movie, as anyone would.

Remember these 6 simple rules online and you’ll instantly stand out from all the hundreds of guys who don’t have a clue

As I said Adam is VERY experienced in the online dating world. As am I.  He has created a couple of amazing HOW TO programs for all steps of online dating.

DO YOU KNOW THE #1 SECRET THAT BUILDS ATTRACTION ONLINE?
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO FIND OUT:

Stop Settling For Women You Don’t Want With The Master Plan

Every day I talk with another man who says ” well I guess I am just going to have to settle for what I can get with women.” and I say to them STOP SETTLING FOR WOMEN YOU DONT WANT! Start getting the women you do want instead!

There is no need to settle and there no need to think you have to settle. I say this because I know that as a man it is part of your genetic makeup to be able to attract the women you want so that you can stop settling for women you don’t want.

How do I know this? Because I know that the population would cease to exist if men were not able to attract women.  Get it.

So what is stopping you? It is that thing on the top of your shoulders called YOUR HEAD.

Your head tells you:

- I am too fat
- I am too short
- I am too bald
- I am not rich enough
- She will reject me
- I will have nothing interesting to say

It never ends BUT it can! You can stop this nonsense in your head and stop settling for the women you don’t want right now!

My friend Scot Mckay and I sat down and discussed this exact topic for over an hour.  Together we provide step-by-step instructions on how to:

- Stop settling for women you don’t want
- How to approach the women you do want
- What to do to KEEP the women you want

Every time I sit down with Scot we come up with amazing material.

Listen for FREE to our interview!

To listen to the full interview PLUS get the complete Master Plan Click Here

Do You Have The Presence Women Want?

As I always say information is key and recently I was challenged to elaborate on the information that I provide.

You may or not know but women like to be challenged so I was more than happy to accept!   This challenge involved me digging deep to really understand, as a woman, the energy that I respond to from men.

About a month ago I got an email from one man who had purchased The Wing Girl Method best selling program How To Become The Man Women Want where I reveal to you the top characteristics a man must possess in order to attract a woman and then I provide ways to gain these characteristics.

This man, who I will refer to as X, had told me that the information he received from the program, How To Become The Man Women Want was priceless but it left with 1 question about presence. He wanted to me explain this presence that I kept referring to that women fall head over heals for.

After his request, and my completion of his challenge, that I realized how valuable this information was to other men so I wanted to share our email correspondence where I explain exactly what women are looking for in a man.    Below is the email from X.  He really got me to dig deep and I know this information is the exact information you need to truly understand what women want in from a man.

Question from X:

On Oct 29, 2009, at 7:19 AM, X wrote:

 Hey Marni,

 Here's a question about looks:

 If looks don't matter that much to women, but everyone -man and

 woman alike- wants a good looking girl or guy... I'm confused, so,

 for a woman, what is the point, or the deed, or the key or whatever,

 where the woman stops looking at what he looks like, and starts to     

like him for who is inside. More so, what must the man be like, act

 like or do, in order to take attention away from the way he looks

 and turn a woman's attention to his character, of course, not in a

 manipulative way?

 And yes, i know confidence, proactiveness and fun will all be there

 in your answer. Be your best self advice is also way too generalized

 for me. I know I'm being picky with the answer i haven't even got

 yet. Plus, I'm making it harder for you to answer, so I'll make it

 easier for you to answer this question.

 And you don't have to answer this question but you're a woman so I

 have to ask... So, here's the question anyway!

 What would make you forget about how the guy's looks and like him

 for something he's got inside or something he does or it's just the

 way he expresses himself, what does it for you, and what would make

 you say, 'wow, it's so not about how he looks'?

 Thanks

 X

Answer From Me:

 From: info@winggirlmethod.com

 Subject: Re: WGM Become the Man Women Want

 Date: Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:29:53 -0400

 X,

 I totally get your frustration because some of the advice that most

 people dish out seems general and there is no WHY behind what they

 are saying. I am going to try to break it down for you the best way

 that I can.

 For me, yes, looks are what initially catch my eye.  It's easy to

 spot pretty things and the truth is those pretty things can bring

 great disappointment when they don't work as well as you think they

 should.  BUT a pretty thing can be over powered by quality in a

 matter of seconds. Once you hear and feel that something is quality,

 that THING starts to become appealing.

 I would like you to go out to the mall or somewhere really social

 and notice the way that people carry themselves.  Take a look at

 really attractive people and people who are unattractive. I am sure

 you will spot some people that you typically would not give a second

 look to with a powerful presence about them. That presence is what

 I am talking about. That is what is sexy. It is the perceived notion

 that something is quality!

 By being confident, proactive and fun you can build up your inner

 core so that you can display this type of quality to others and it

 will be a real quality. A top machine that can produce better than some silly little

produced in china that looks amazing but falls apart after the first time you use it.

I hope that makes things more clear.

Let me know if you want me to elaborate.

Best,

Marni

On Oct 29, 2009, at 7:20 PM, X wrote:

 Hey Marni,

 Yeah, I totally understood what you said in your email. If you could

 elaborate on that 'presence' that you are talking about? - that

'quality'- because that is exactly what I'm trying to get at!

 Can you describe what that 'presence' or 'quality' is for you; what

 it feels like or how or what makes you sense this presence or

 quality in a guy; is it a skill that a man has to be attain; or is

 it an intuition the man has and he does what he wants in the moment?

 -You know, try to be as specific as you can, but also try to

 consider what every other women thinks of this presence and/or

 quality, in your answer.

 Even for me that is a really hard question to answer, but I

 sincerely think that we are on a goldmine here, we just haven't

 reached the gold yet.

 Thanks

 X

 From: info@winggirlmethod.com

 Date: Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:59:13 -0400

 X,

 I like the challenge! I know this is something that needs to be

 broken down and it is priceless.

 I was with a best friend of mine who has always been great with

 women.  Some of our other friends, guys, are a little jealous of his

 abilities and credit it to his money/car/home.  As a woman I know

 that his success with women has nothing to do with his money/cars/

 home.  He could be dirt poor, no car and bald and if he was still

 able to hold that inner calmness that he currently has he would

 still be able to attract many many women.

 The thing about this friend of mine is that he knows he is worthy,

 he has self respect and he knows what he wants and goes after it.

 I know you want a more magical answer than this but that is really

 the secret.

 Now the hard part is getting to a place of believing this about

 yourself and feeling that calmness and comfort.  This comes with

 practice, experience and information.  It comes from observing

 people but more importantly from recognizing yourself.

 I don't want to sound like a spiritual guru right now but I hope you

 see where I am going with this.

 My guy friend has been in therapy since he was 12.  He was

 constantly evaluating himself with the assistance of another person.

 This allowed him to face his greatest fears, learn to control his

 anxiousness and come out on the other side as a man of value.  The

 reason he has this value for himself is because he has earned it and

 worked at it.  He gives himself permission to go after what he wants

 and believes that he will get it.  This type of attitude is where

 comfort and calmness stem from.

 You can have this as well but it takes time and effort!

 Marni

 On Oct 31, 2009, at 10:55 AM, X wrote:

 Hey Marni,

 Thanks for sharing that story about your friend, plus, also thanks

 for providing an answer to my question. And, you didn't sound like a

 spiritual guru, you actually spoke a lot of sense -giving yourself

 permission to going after what you want and believing that you'll

 get it, and knowing yourself- is basically the best advice, and I'll

 tell you why...

 I went out to this club last night. Now, I have approach anxiety.

 So, when I went out to this one club, loud music and all...

 something happened - I just got my phone out and typed a message

 "hey I think that ur gorgeous" and I went out on the dance floor and

 I gently touched this really gorgeous blonde girl on her shoulder

 and showed her the message on my phone. She burst out laughing and

 asked me, "How often do you do say that sort of thing?" and I calmly

 told her the absolute truth, "not often, this is actually the first

 time..."

 And it was, it truly was the first time I just went up to a girl who

 i wanted just like that, and sure, I could have said something

 better than just 'ur gorgeuos', but I'm learning, it was more about

 getting rid of the anxiety. But, I realized that the anxiety I had

 about approaching was so irrational, and it is so true, women are

 really friendly and polite. I spoke to her for a short time, but

 then I thanked her for the conversation and left, because I knew my

 chances were zero...

 I wouldn't say my approach anxiety is all gone, but I just listened to what you

said and understand that it is my choice to decide if I can get the women I want.

I know I can meet new girls when I'm out because that's what I want. 

What I also know is that I won't be afraid to go up to a girl

 any more, because, I know that after I did what I did with the girl

 on the dance floor, I still felt like me, I still felt like X,

 even though I didn't get her. I now look back in the past to the

 many chances I could have met someone great and didn't because I was

 too nervous or worried about rejection, and I just kick myself.

 So, again, thanks for the advice marni! I am one step closer to the presence
you are talking about.

 Sincerely

 X

******** ******** ******** ****** ******* ********

What this email exchange shows is that the only person from holding you back from getting EVERYTHING you want is you.  X took a chance and went after what he wanted. He approach a woman, he felt like himself instead of pretending to be  someone else and even though he didn’t get the girl he felt better about himself because he took the chance.

The more you can start pushing yourself to take the chances the more confidence you will gain and more opportunities with women will appear.

I promise you!

Have a great thanksgiving and don’t worry if you don’t get to make a wish on that wish bone because you don’t need it! Make the wish yourself and then go make it happen!

P.S. Don’t forget to check out How To Become The Man Women Want. It has been rated by many top PUA’s and dating experts as some of the most solid material out there for men who want to learn how to Approach and Meet Women, Strengthen Their Inner Character and Have Unbelievable Conversation Skills.

We will be increasing the price in the new year so grab your copy today! Now includes special new bonus material.

Check it out: http://www.winggirlmethod.com/products/become-the-man-women-want/

On this page you will also get a revealing tip about women EVERY MAN MUST KNOW!

Cell Phone Dating Usage: The Do’s and Don’t of Calling Women

Communication has become very tough over the years. Today you can text, email, use a cell phone or skype, use google voice, facebook, twitter AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Too much to handle.

Don’t you wish you had someone to break it all down for you and explain to you what to do to communicate effectively with women? Well lucky for you I’m here and I have put together a list of instructions on proper Cell Phone Dating Usage.

Baby steps. First learn when to call and proper cell phone dating usage then you can move on to other areas.

*****************

Today, it is harder to find someone without a cell phone than it is to hunt for sharks on land.  They have become our lifelines, our connection to the world.  While the advancements in technology have had many benefits, they have also created new fears and social definitions when it comes to traditional communication.  Lately, it seems that cell phones have squashed many social graces and created a new way for people to communicate.

When it comes to meeting and dating members of the opposite sex, however, some elements of tradition should be maintained.  The myth exists that women want extravagance and luxury, but you will be surprised to find how far you can go with a little respect and chivalrous behavior.  The woman of today has focused on her career, and as a result, can often support herself financially.  The last things she wants is a man to spoil her and make her feel like an item that can be bought off of a shelf; however, the woman of today does want to feel like a lady. A great place to start treating a woman like a lady pertains to the phone.

Now, this is not going to be a how-to that guides you from the start.  This is assuming you have already approached and struck up a conversation with someone you are interested in.  Maybe you met her at a bar, or coffee shop or even the park. Pay attention to her body language and look for signs that she is interested.  Is she smiling a lot?  When she makes eye contact, does she hold her head down and look up at you?  Has she playfully and lightly touched your arm?  Finally and most importantly, does she seem reluctant to end the conversation when it is clearly time to leave?  If you are interested in her and if she is displaying these behaviors, which tend to come naturally when one person is attracted to another, you may ask her for her phone number.  This is when the “Cell Phone Dating Rules” begin.

The initial meeting…

Do: Call her phone immediately
Since practically everyone has a cell phone nowadays, the most obvious way to take down a phone number is to enter it straight into your phone.  Assuming this is the case, it is always a good idea to call her phone so that she has your number as well.  This tells the woman you are interested in that you do intend to call and you want her to be able to recognize your number when you do.  Do this in front of her and tell her you’re doing it.  This also serves another purpose: if you have misread her signs and she has given you a fake number, you will know immediately.

Don’t: Call her the night you meet her
This is assuming you have met the woman in a bar or somewhere else that you did not leave until late at night.  Unless you are looking for a purely physical relationship, do not call her the night you meet her.  Calling late night says one of two things: one, you are just interested in hooking up and you want to do so before your buzz wears off and your judgment returns or two, you are desperate.  For you movie buffs, think about the scene in Swingers when Jon Favreau’s character meets a girl in a bar and upon returning home, proceeds to call her repeatedly until she finally answers.  When she does answer, she demands that he never calls her again.  So quickly, Favreau’s character goes from “nice guy” to “psycho.”  Don’t be that guy.

Setting up a date…

Do: Actually call her 2-3 days after the initial meeting
Now that you have managed to refrain from calling her immediately, you can safely call her 2-3 days after your initial meeting to set up a date.  When you call the first time, actually use the phone to call her.  You are trying to make a good impression; do not send an email or text message.  This is when tradition comes into play.  With the advancements in technology came a sudden acceptance of text messages and emails as forms of communication.  However, if you would like to stand out from the rest of the immature co-eds, use the phone and make the call.  Women appreciate this more than you would expect.

For instance, I have a friend who recently met a guy in our hometown while we were out at a local bar.  Since we are from a small town, our friends already knew the guy and warned her that he was a loser.  She listened to their warnings and debated whether to heed them or not.  However, a few days later, while we were talking, she said, “He may be a loser, but he actually called me.  He did not text, he called.”  She ignored the warnings and went out with him anyway.  A few days later, when he called her again, she went out with him again.  The phone call was all it took for her to give him a chance.

Don’t: Call more than once
This goes back to that idea of being too desperate.  The girl you met may screen your call to see if you are calling just to call, or calling to set up a date.  Do yourself a favor and leave a message with your reason for calling the first time you call.  Do not assume she will return a missed call without a voicemail and do not call back a second time because you did not leave a message the first.  As much as we may deny it, dating is a game.  There are rules and strategies that should be followed.  Make the call, leave a message letting her know that you would like to see her again, then wait for her to get back to you.

While on the date…

Do: Keep your phone out of your date
When you are on a date, the person you are with should be the focus.  Keep your phone out of view and on silent.  If you constantly have calls, messages and emails coming through, your date will start to assume that she is keeping you from more important things.  She may also assume that you have other girls calling (which you may) and decline any further dates.

The only thing worse than the phone ringing during a date is if you actually answer the calls or respond to the messages and emails.  Your date wants to feel special.  If you cannot dedicate a few hours without a connection to the outside world, why should the girl you’re with give up any more of her time for you?  Obviously, something like a family emergency is different, but it you are in a situation where you need to respond to work calls, do not schedule a date at that time.  Honestly, your date should not even know you have a phone on you.

After the date…

Do: Follow up with a call
After the initial date, and assuming you would like to see the woman again, a follow-up call is always a good idea.  While you can get away with an email this time, a phone call makes a better impression.  After a first date, both parties often feel insecure and vulnerable.  Not only will a follow-up call will allow you to ease the other person’s anxiety, it will also give you an idea of how the other person felt about your connection.  If it seems like both of you enjoyed yourself, you can also use a follow up call to schedule a second date.

Remember, while women may be intimidating and hard to read at times, there are some simple things you can do to increase your chances of a connection.  Don’t forget to act like a gentleman and maintain some of the traditions that have withstood the test of time.  While women may no longer rely on men to take care of them, they do like to feel special and important.

For more information on proper techniques to use with women and direct instruction on what women want check out the program What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind. In this 5 hour program we reveal to you everything women want not just how to properly use your cell phone for dating!

Do Women Want Sex As Much As Men?

Of course we do. We just want to be able to make the choice to have sex.

Speaking for myself, as a woman, I like sex. It’s fun and it feels good. What’s not to like.

I will be honest and tell you that I am a good girl who used to be very prude when I was younger.

The reason i was so prude was that I was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with boys, my body and myself.

Not a good combo if I ever wanted to have a mind blowing sex life.

When I was 18 I went backpacking and safely kissed my way up the east coast until I met a very special guy who totally broke me out of my shell.

The first time we were making out he said to me “I want you to be comfortable. If I do anything that makes you nervous or uncomfortable, just slap my hand and I will stop.”

I can tell you there was no hand slapping and I got very comfortable.

The reason for this was because I felt that I was in charge of my sexuality. I was getting to make the choice and that alone put me at ease.

Women want to be sexual. Women want to be sexy and women want to live out crazy sexual fantasies but they need to feel safe and secure.

They want to know that they are the ones making the choice and not being forced or pushed into being sexual.

I never want to feel judged or pressured. I don’t want to be tossed in the slut category and therefore I am very conscious of who I give my sexuality to.

Women want to be unlocked. Trust me. Even the purest of pure want an adventure.

As men, you can give women a safe place to be sexual. Just like my backpacking friend did for me.

Next time you are getting intimate with a woman, try his move and I promise you will get great results.

Too Much Outer Game =’s BAD NEWS

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This article is about one of my clients that was obsessed with outer game.

Obsessed to the point where he found himself constantly losing women.

Don’t get me wrong, I love outer game. It is fun, engaging and easy. Usually when I am out for a night and I interact with a guy, we banter, I do my dance for him, he does his dance for me and it is fun. FOR ONE NIGHT, maybe 2 if I am in the mood.  But then it becomes exhausting.  BORING, UNATTRACTIVE and NOT SEXY AT ALL.

After 1 or 2 times with a guy, I want something real, something I can latch onto or at least feel like I could latch onto.  What I am referring to is substance.

Women want to connect to man they feel has substance.  Has more going on than some quick lines of banter and entertainment.

If a man is all about outer game he is basically equivalent a magician.

A magician is there to entertain for the evening then disappear from your life but will continue to do his show night after night after night.

One of WGM’s most recent insider members, recently read an article I wrote about too much out game equally bad news.  In this article I go through a case study of one of my clients who was obsessed with outer game.  In fact he was so obsessed with outer game that he totally forgot to focus on any inner game.

He first wrote to me confused by the fact that he was not getting girls to answer his calls past the second date.  Obviously you can take a gander at what my response was.

So after a few emails back and forth, a lot of female insight and much more openness from his end, he finally got it and wrote me this email:

“This is so real. I’ve lost so many women due to over gaming. and really, i think it was really out of fear. Fear that if I didn’t have her utterly captivated and laughing and if i wasn’t escalating sexually that i would lose her.

It’s funny (and a bit tragic) that when i learned these things – i became so enamored with the tools that i lost touch with my own body, my own feeling of things. and when I’d rewind i could notice that “hmm. . . that interaction felt off . . . i pushed too hard . . . i missed the transition point . . . i came across as eager and try hard.”painful to see but good to learn.

I love the banter and the flirting too. and i find it’s good to pepper it into interactions as a spice but not the whole meal. i really am loving your stuff. Pretty shocked that after only a few emails back and forth my whole mindset totally shifted. thanks so much for doing it. “

Routines can work. In fact, I totally endorse using routines and lines AT FIRST.  But treat them as training wheels.  They can help you overcome approach anxiety and show you how to structure conversation. But they can’t keep a person engaged for longer than an evening.  That skill has to come from within you.

It is so important to have a balance of inner game and outer game. When you are truly balanced you will see it is not a game at all but YOU. A confident, self assured, whole YOU.

To read this full article on outer game vs. inner game that includes instructions on how to build your inner game, sign up for WGM’s FREE Insider membership below:

If you are looking to jump start on your inner game and discover how to be a balanced man that women love then check out our at home, instantly down-loadable program How to Become A Man Women Want. Become the best version of yourself in just 60 days!Click Here to find out more

The Secret To Avoiding The Friend Zone With Women

Why oh why do you keep ending up in the friend zone? I am sure this is a question you are constantly asking yourself.

Let me try to explain why this keeps happening to you by using an everyday example so that it may be easier for you to understand.

My friend is having a barbecue. There are all kinds of meat on the grill.  Chicken, fish, steak, ribs, everything! I go up to the bbq and say I am so hungry and that looks amazing.  I would love a piece that meat. Can I have the one on the top shelf?

My friend will look to the top shelf and see 10 pieces of meat of all different assortments.  He’ll then look at me and say “which one?” and I will say “the one on the right?”  My friend probably still have be confused about which one on the right I am referring to.

Now what if I were to change the way I was asking for that meat and said “Can you I have that piece of chicken on the top shelf second from the right?”.  BINGO!!! My friend knows instantly what I am asking for, reaches for the chicken and hands it to me.  We are all happy. There is no room for confusion. He knows what I want and can give me exactly what I am asking for.

See where I am going with this?

In my experience as a woman, I have seen many men who tippy toe around asking for what they want with me.  They do this because they don’t think it’s polite to be obvious and let a woman know they are attracted and interested in pursuing.  My assumption is that men also think women are clueless.  Of course we know. As soon as you approach us we know or at least we always assume that is why you are approaching.  We don’t think you are coming over to us at a bar or social location because you REALLY want to tell us about the recent stock market crash or find out our favorite color.  We know and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you are attracted to us, approach us and then be perfectly clear why you are approaching. Don’t hide it or cover it up to seem less obvious.  Seem very obvious and let her know your intentions.

Don’t try to be sneaky and ask to be a friend. Because you know what’s going to happen don’t you?

YOU WILL BECOME THE FRIEND.  If you don’t ask for more, we won’t give you more.  AND we will assume that you are very content being that friend until you tell us differently.

I refer to this as Nice Guy Manipulation.  A manipulation tactic that sadly, always blows up in a guys face.

So next time you meet a woman be very clear on what you are looking for.  Tell her you think she is attractive and want to get to know more.  When you are online don’t say you are looking for a friend because you most certainly are not.   Be clear, be straight and be direct with what you want and I can guarantee you will not find yourself in the friend zone.

The only way to get what you want is by asking for it!

Remember the only one sticking you in the friend zone is you.

Do you want to learn how to be direct, ask for what you want and ALWAYS get the response you are looking for? Check out WGM’s at home, instantly down-loadable program: How to Become A Man Women Want. Includes 9 hours of audio, video and written material plus bonuses that shows you step-by-step how to finally get everything you want with women.  Click Here to check it out.

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