Do You Have The Presence Women Want?

American thanksgiving is coming up so I wanted to give you a gift. The gift of knowledge!

As I always say information is key and recently I was challenged to elaborate on the information that I provide.

You may or not know but women like to be challenged so I was more than happy to accept!   This challenge involved me digging deep to really understand, as a woman, the energy that I respond to from men.

About a month ago I got an email from one man who had purchased The Wing Girl Method best selling program How To Become The Man Women Want where I reveal to you the top characteristics a man must possess in order to attract a woman and then I provide ways to gain these characteristics.

This man, who I will refer to as X, had told me that the information he received from the program, How To Become The Man Women Want was priceless but it left with 1 question about presence. He wanted to me explain this presence that I kept referring to that women fall head over heals for.

After his request, and my completion of his challenge, that I realized how valuable this information was to other men so I wanted to share our email correspondence where I explain exactly what women are looking for in a man.    Below is the email from X.  He really got me to dig deep and I know this information is the exact information you need to truly understand what women want in from a man.

Question from X:

On Oct 29, 2009, at 7:19 AM, X wrote:

 Hey Marni,

 Here's a question about looks:

 If looks don't matter that much to women, but everyone -man and

 woman alike- wants a good looking girl or guy... I'm confused, so,

 for a woman, what is the point, or the deed, or the key or whatever,

 where the woman stops looking at what he looks like, and starts to     

like him for who is inside. More so, what must the man be like, act

 like or do, in order to take attention away from the way he looks

 and turn a woman's attention to his character, of course, not in a

 manipulative way?

 And yes, i know confidence, proactiveness and fun will all be there

 in your answer. Be your best self advice is also way too generalized

 for me. I know I'm being picky with the answer i haven't even got

 yet. Plus, I'm making it harder for you to answer, so I'll make it

 easier for you to answer this question.

 And you don't have to answer this question but you're a woman so I

 have to ask... So, here's the question anyway!

 What would make you forget about how the guy's looks and like him

 for something he's got inside or something he does or it's just the

 way he expresses himself, what does it for you, and what would make

 you say, 'wow, it's so not about how he looks'?

 Thanks

 X

Answer From Me:

 From: info@winggirlmethod.com

 Subject: Re: WGM Become the Man Women Want

 Date: Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:29:53 -0400

 X,

 I totally get your frustration because some of the advice that most

 people dish out seems general and there is no WHY behind what they

 are saying. I am going to try to break it down for you the best way

 that I can.

 For me, yes, looks are what initially catch my eye.  It's easy to

 spot pretty things and the truth is those pretty things can bring

 great disappointment when they don't work as well as you think they

 should.  BUT a pretty thing can be over powered by quality in a

 matter of seconds. Once you hear and feel that something is quality,

 that THING starts to become appealing.

 I would like you to go out to the mall or somewhere really social

 and notice the way that people carry themselves.  Take a look at

 really attractive people and people who are unattractive. I am sure

 you will spot some people that you typically would not give a second

 look to with a powerful presence about them. That presence is what

 I am talking about. That is what is sexy. It is the perceived notion

 that something is quality!

 By being confident, proactive and fun you can build up your inner

 core so that you can display this type of quality to others and it

 will be a real quality. A top machine that can produce better than some silly little

produced in china that looks amazing but falls apart after the first time you use it.

I hope that makes things more clear.

Let me know if you want me to elaborate.

Best,

Marni

On Oct 29, 2009, at 7:20 PM, X wrote:

 Hey Marni,

 Yeah, I totally understood what you said in your email. If you could

 elaborate on that 'presence' that you are talking about? - that

'quality'- because that is exactly what I'm trying to get at!

 Can you describe what that 'presence' or 'quality' is for you; what

 it feels like or how or what makes you sense this presence or

 quality in a guy; is it a skill that a man has to be attain; or is

 it an intuition the man has and he does what he wants in the moment?

 -You know, try to be as specific as you can, but also try to

 consider what every other women thinks of this presence and/or

 quality, in your answer.

 Even for me that is a really hard question to answer, but I

 sincerely think that we are on a goldmine here, we just haven't

 reached the gold yet.

 Thanks

 X

 From: info@winggirlmethod.com

 Date: Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:59:13 -0400

 X,

 I like the challenge! I know this is something that needs to be

 broken down and it is priceless.

 I was with a best friend of mine who has always been great with

 women.  Some of our other friends, guys, are a little jealous of his

 abilities and credit it to his money/car/home.  As a woman I know

 that his success with women has nothing to do with his money/cars/

 home.  He could be dirt poor, no car and bald and if he was still

 able to hold that inner calmness that he currently has he would

 still be able to attract many many women.

 The thing about this friend of mine is that he knows he is worthy,

 he has self respect and he knows what he wants and goes after it.

 I know you want a more magical answer than this but that is really

 the secret.

 Now the hard part is getting to a place of believing this about

 yourself and feeling that calmness and comfort.  This comes with

 practice, experience and information.  It comes from observing

 people but more importantly from recognizing yourself.

 I don't want to sound like a spiritual guru right now but I hope you

 see where I am going with this.

 My guy friend has been in therapy since he was 12.  He was

 constantly evaluating himself with the assistance of another person.

 This allowed him to face his greatest fears, learn to control his

 anxiousness and come out on the other side as a man of value.  The

 reason he has this value for himself is because he has earned it and

 worked at it.  He gives himself permission to go after what he wants

 and believes that he will get it.  This type of attitude is where

 comfort and calmness stem from.

 You can have this as well but it takes time and effort!

 Marni

 On Oct 31, 2009, at 10:55 AM, X wrote:

 Hey Marni,

 Thanks for sharing that story about your friend, plus, also thanks

 for providing an answer to my question. And, you didn't sound like a

 spiritual guru, you actually spoke a lot of sense -giving yourself

 permission to going after what you want and believing that you'll

 get it, and knowing yourself- is basically the best advice, and I'll

 tell you why...

 I went out to this club last night. Now, I have approach anxiety.

 So, when I went out to this one club, loud music and all...

 something happened - I just got my phone out and typed a message

 "hey I think that ur gorgeous" and I went out on the dance floor and

 I gently touched this really gorgeous blonde girl on her shoulder

 and showed her the message on my phone. She burst out laughing and

 asked me, "How often do you do say that sort of thing?" and I calmly

 told her the absolute truth, "not often, this is actually the first

 time..."

 And it was, it truly was the first time I just went up to a girl who

 i wanted just like that, and sure, I could have said something

 better than just 'ur gorgeuos', but I'm learning, it was more about

 getting rid of the anxiety. But, I realized that the anxiety I had

 about approaching was so irrational, and it is so true, women are

 really friendly and polite. I spoke to her for a short time, but

 then I thanked her for the conversation and left, because I knew my

 chances were zero...

 I wouldn't say my approach anxiety is all gone, but I just listened to what you

said and understand that it is my choice to decide if I can get the women I want.

I know I can meet new girls when I'm out because that's what I want. 

What I also know is that I won't be afraid to go up to a girl

 any more, because, I know that after I did what I did with the girl

 on the dance floor, I still felt like me, I still felt like X,

 even though I didn't get her. I now look back in the past to the

 many chances I could have met someone great and didn't because I was

 too nervous or worried about rejection, and I just kick myself.

 So, again, thanks for the advice marni! I am one step closer to the presence
you are talking about.

 Sincerely

 X

******** ******** ******** ****** ******* ********

What this email exchange shows is that the only person from holding you back from getting EVERYTHING you want is you.  X took a chance and went after what he wanted. He approach a woman, he felt like himself instead of pretending to be  someone else and even though he didn’t get the girl he felt better about himself because he took the chance.

The more you can start pushing yourself to take the chances the more confidence you will gain and more opportunities with women will appear.

I promise you!

Have a great thanksgiving and don’t worry if you don’t get to make a wish on that wish bone because you don’t need it! Make the wish yourself and then go make it happen!

P.S. Don’t forget to check out How To Become The Man Women Want. It has been rated by many top PUA’s and dating experts as some of the most solid material out there for men.    Learn the top characteristics you need to approach, date and be with the women you have always wanted.

We will be increasing the price in the new year so grab your copy today! Now includes special new bonus material.

Check it out: http://www.winggirlmethod.com/products/become-the-man-women-want/

On this page you will also get a revealing tip about women EVERY MAN MUST KNOW!

Attracting Women & Finance Require Very Similar Skills

Cell Phone Dating Usage: The Do’s and Don’t of Calling Women

Communication has become very tough over the years. Today you can text, email, use a cell phone or skype, use google voice, facebook, twitter AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Too much to handle.

Don’t you wish you had someone to break it all down for you and explain to you what to do to communicate effectively with women? Well lucky for you I asked my awesome Wing Girl Caitlin to put together a list of instructions on proper Cell Phone Dating Usage.

Baby steps. First learn when to call and proper cell phone dating usage then you can move on to other areas.

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Today, it is harder to find someone without a cell phone than it is to hunt for sharks on land.  They have become our lifelines, our connection to the world.  While the advancements in technology have had many benefits, they have also created new fears and social definitions when it comes to traditional communication.  Lately, it seems that cell phones have squashed many social graces and created a new way for people to communicate.

When it comes to meeting and dating members of the opposite sex, however, some elements of tradition should be maintained.  The myth exists that women want extravagance and luxury, but you will be surprised to find how far you can go with a little respect and chivalrous behavior.  The woman of today has focused on her career, and as a result, can often support herself financially.  The last things she wants is a man to spoil her and make her feel like an item that can be bought off of a shelf; however, the woman of today does want to feel like a lady. A great place to start treating a woman like a lady pertains to the phone.

Now, this is not going to be a how-to that guides you from the start.  This is assuming you have already approached and struck up a conversation with someone you are interested in.  Maybe you met her at a bar, or coffee shop or even the park. Pay attention to her body language and look for signs that she is interested.  Is she smiling a lot?  When she makes eye contact, does she hold her head down and look up at you?  Has she playfully and lightly touched your arm?  Finally and most importantly, does she seem reluctant to end the conversation when it is clearly time to leave?  If you are interested in her and if she is displaying these behaviors, which tend to come naturally when one person is attracted to another, you may ask her for her phone number.  This is when the “Cell Phone Dating Rules” begin.

The initial meeting…

Do: Call her phone immediately
Since practically everyone has a cell phone nowadays, the most obvious way to take down a phone number is to enter it straight into your phone.  Assuming this is the case, it is always a good idea to call her phone so that she has your number as well.  This tells the woman you are interested in that you do intend to call and you want her to be able to recognize your number when you do.  Do this in front of her and tell her you’re doing it.  This also serves another purpose: if you have misread her signs and she has given you a fake number, you will know immediately.

Don’t: Call her the night you meet her
This is assuming you have met the woman in a bar or somewhere else that you did not leave until late at night.  Unless you are looking for a purely physical relationship, do not call her the night you meet her.  Calling late night says one of two things: one, you are just interested in hooking up and you want to do so before your buzz wears off and your judgment returns or two, you are desperate.  For you movie buffs, think about the scene in Swingers when Jon Favreau’s character meets a girl in a bar and upon returning home, proceeds to call her repeatedly until she finally answers.  When she does answer, she demands that he never calls her again.  So quickly, Favreau’s character goes from “nice guy” to “psycho.”  Don’t be that guy.

Setting up a date…

Do: Actually call her 2-3 days after the initial meeting
Now that you have managed to refrain from calling her immediately, you can safely call her 2-3 days after your initial meeting to set up a date.  When you call the first time, actually use the phone to call her.  You are trying to make a good impression; do not send an email or text message.  This is when tradition comes into play.  With the advancements in technology came a sudden acceptance of text messages and emails as forms of communication.  However, if you would like to stand out from the rest of the immature co-eds, use the phone and make the call.  Women appreciate this more than you would expect.

For instance, I have a friend who recently met a guy in our hometown while we were out at a local bar.  Since we are from a small town, our friends already knew the guy and warned her that he was a loser.  She listened to their warnings and debated whether to heed them or not.  However, a few days later, while we were talking, she said, “He may be a loser, but he actually called me.  He did not text, he called.”  She ignored the warnings and went out with him anyway.  A few days later, when he called her again, she went out with him again.  The phone call was all it took for her to give him a chance.

Don’t: Call more than once
This goes back to that idea of being too desperate.  The girl you met may screen your call to see if you are calling just to call, or calling to set up a date.  Do yourself a favor and leave a message with your reason for calling the first time you call.  Do not assume she will return a missed call without a voicemail and do not call back a second time because you did not leave a message the first.  As much as we may deny it, dating is a game.  There are rules and strategies that should be followed.  Make the call, leave a message letting her know that you would like to see her again, then wait for her to get back to you.

While on the date…

Do: Keep your phone out of your date
When you are on a date, the person you are with should be the focus.  Keep your phone out of view and on silent.  If you constantly have calls, messages and emails coming through, your date will start to assume that she is keeping you from more important things.  She may also assume that you have other girls calling (which you may) and decline any further dates.

The only thing worse than the phone ringing during a date is if you actually answer the calls or respond to the messages and emails.  Your date wants to feel special.  If you cannot dedicate a few hours without a connection to the outside world, why should the girl you’re with give up any more of her time for you?  Obviously, something like a family emergency is different, but it you are in a situation where you need to respond to work calls, do not schedule a date at that time.  Honestly, your date should not even know you have a phone on you.

After the date…

Do: Follow up with a call
After the initial date, and assuming you would like to see the woman again, a follow-up call is always a good idea.  While you can get away with an email this time, a phone call makes a better impression.  After a first date, both parties often feel insecure and vulnerable.  Not only will a follow-up call will allow you to ease the other person’s anxiety, it will also give you an idea of how the other person felt about your connection.  If it seems like both of you enjoyed yourself, you can also use a follow up call to schedule a second date.

Remember, while women may be intimidating and hard to read at times, there are some simple things you can do to increase your chances of a connection.  Don’t forget to act like a gentleman and maintain some of the traditions that have withstood the test of time.  While women may no longer rely on men to take care of them, they do like to feel special and important.

For more information on proper techniques to use with women and direct instruction on what women want check out the program What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind. In this 5 hour program we reveal to you everything women want not just how to properly use your cell phone for dating!

Online Dating Guide: 14 Dos and Dont’s of that First Crucial Email

Don’t you just love modern day technology. So many ways to connect and meet women but also so many ways to screw up in a matter of seconds.

To help combat these issues, Jennae, our adorable new Wing Girl has put together a quick list of do’s and don’ts for online dating. These rules can also be tweaked to applied to other areas like emailing and texting.

Print these rules out and put them by computer and read them every time before you engage in online dating!!!

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Online Dating Guide: 14 Dos and Don’ts of that First Crucial Email

Online dating often feels like its own world. Real winks are replaced with virtual ones, and chemistry is guessed at through pictures and profiles. But the biggest difference between online dating and meeting someone in the real world is how much words count, specifically, written words.

A lot of men fail when it comes to online dating because they don’t give good email

Yes, it’s that important. In a virtual dating word, your written words are you. It’s not only important what you write, but how you write it.

DON’T wink. Yeah, yeah, it’s a nice little tool that helps you figure out if someone is interested in you or not, but what it really says to a woman is “I’m too shy to actually talk to you.” And while shy can seem endearing, most women doing online dating have a ton of men contacting them, especially if they are someone worth contacting. You winking at her isn’t going to stand out as much as a well written introductory email.

DO keep it light. Funny is sexy! While writing a joke is harder than telling one, any bit of humor you can put in your email is a good way to show off your personality. And women like men who make them laugh.

DON’T use IM/text speak. I will tell you right now that I delete anyone who contacts me with “How R U doing 2day?”If you can’t take the time to actually spell out your words, you’re just not worth mine. Women want men who can hold actual conversations, and writing like you only have 140 characters isn’t the way to convince them of that.

DO keep it short. Too long of an email tends to give a bit of the creepy vibe, and no woman wants to read a novel about why you decided to write to her: “we have this in common, and this in common, and I think you’d really like my mom!” But while short is good, too short can also be an issue if there is nothing for her to respond to. Aim for around three lines, minimum, but no longer than a couple of short paragraphs.

DON’T forget to spell check and edit your email. If the online dating program you have use doesn’t have a built in spell check program, write the email in Word or the equivalent and copy and paste it into the body of the email. Appearance counts, and just like you wouldn’t try to pick up a woman in a bar wearing sweats and a dirty t-shirt, you shouldn’t try to pick up a woman online half-assed either.

DO read her profile and make a comment about something you read. This comment shouldn’t be “I can’t live without sex either, so why don’t we get together and save each other’s lives?” It should be more like “I really like hiking too. What are your favorite spots?”

DON’T give out your contact information right away. Any guy who sends his phone number or even AIM or other messenger services contact information to me in a first email I automatically label as a “player”, someone not interested in any sort of long term relationship. It’s sort of like walking up to a woman and handing her your card first and then trying to have a conversation with her after. It might work in a business setting, but not in a romantic encounter.

DO ask at least one question, preferably about something you read in her profile. This proves you actually read her profile and didn’t just check out her picture, and that, again, you’re capable of having a conversation. However, first rule dates apply to first emails as well, and this question shouldn’t delve into heavy topics like past relationships or the reason why she’s doing online dating. But by asking a question you give her something to respond to should she decide to write back to you.

DON’T start talking about sex right away or compliment her in a sexual manner. Women like compliments, but “you’re very pretty” is different than “I can totally see myself having sex with you.” Also stay away from complimenting particular body parts that are not eyes or smiles.

DO sign off with your actual name. The screen names are entertaining and all, but signing off as “drlovegod137” isn’t going to personalize you to the woman you’re contacting as much as “Jim.” Remember, you want to get her thinking of you as a person and not just a profile.

DON’T come on too strong or immediately suggest getting together for coffee or a drink. Women like to be wooed, and that’s a two-email minimum of you asking questions about herself and answering questions about yourself, slowly establishing that preliminary trust that will make her feel comfortable meeting with you. However…

DO communicate clearly. Ambiguity is not your friend in email, where it’s hard enough to read someone’s tone as it is. If you’re making a movie reference or a joke, make sure she can tell that’s what it is and not a really bad pick up line, especially if the joke is in reference to something in her profile. You might think you’re being clever, but she might not remember that she talked about the Simpsons, so why are you talking about the windmill in a mini golf course?

DON’T wait longer than a few weeks of email exchanges to ask a woman to meet you. The point of online dating to is get offline and actually meet to see if the chemistry is there before getting too invested. I’m perfectly fine with a man suggesting a meet up after about two or three email exchanges, depending on how much we actually talk about it those emails.

DO follow up. Now, assuming you’ve done your job and paid attention to her profile, writing a well formed email with proper spelling and grammar, at least one attempt at humor and one question, it’s up to her to decide if, and when, she writes you back. If she does, the follow up email should follow the same advice as the first with the exception that it’s allowed to be a little longer—a little longer. This is not your opportunity to write a thesis paper on why Kobe is the best basketball player ever or how the iPhone has changed your life. This is where you answer any questions she asked, and then ask her a few more of your own. A good rule of thumb on email length is to respond about the same length she’s written to you—mirroring behavior works, even with emails.

Remember, your email is supposed to show the woman in question that you’re good at communicating. Think about how many fights between men and women are about a lack of communication—you don’t want that to be you. Giving good email is the best way to get to that first date, but after that first date remember that nothing speaks as loud…as your own voice. Picking up the phone is always a good idea.

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