Cell Phone Dating Usage: The Do’s and Don’t of Calling Women
12. Aug, 2009 
10 Comments
Communication has become very tough over the years. Today you can text, email, use a cell phone or skype, use google voice, facebook, twitter AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Too much to handle.
Don’t you wish you had someone to break it all down for you and explain to you what to do to communicate effectively with women? Well lucky for you I’m here and I have put together a list of instructions on proper Cell Phone Dating Usage.
Baby steps. First learn when to call and proper cell phone dating usage then you can move on to other areas.
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Today, it is harder to find someone without a cell phone than it is to hunt for sharks on land. They have become our lifelines, our connection to the world. While the advancements in technology have had many benefits, they have also created new fears and social definitions when it comes to traditional communication. Lately, it seems that cell phones have squashed many social graces and created a new way for people to communicate.
When it comes to meeting and dating members of the opposite sex, however, some elements of tradition should be maintained. The myth exists that women want extravagance and luxury, but you will be surprised to find how far you can go with a little respect and chivalrous behavior. The woman of today has focused on her career, and as a result, can often support herself financially. The last things she wants is a man to spoil her and make her feel like an item that can be bought off of a shelf; however, the woman of today does want to feel like a lady. A great place to start treating a woman like a lady pertains to the phone.
Now, this is not going to be a how-to that guides you from the start. This is assuming you have already approached and struck up a conversation with someone you are interested in. Maybe you met her at a bar, or coffee shop or even the park. Pay attention to her body language and look for signs that she is interested. Is she smiling a lot? When she makes eye contact, does she hold her head down and look up at you? Has she playfully and lightly touched your arm? Finally and most importantly, does she seem reluctant to end the conversation when it is clearly time to leave? If you are interested in her and if she is displaying these behaviors, which tend to come naturally when one person is attracted to another, you may ask her for her phone number. This is when the “Cell Phone Dating Rules” begin.
The initial meeting…
Do: Call her phone immediately
Since practically everyone has a cell phone nowadays, the most obvious way to take down a phone number is to enter it straight into your phone. Assuming this is the case, it is always a good idea to call her phone so that she has your number as well. This tells the woman you are interested in that you do intend to call and you want her to be able to recognize your number when you do. Do this in front of her and tell her you’re doing it. This also serves another purpose: if you have misread her signs and she has given you a fake number, you will know immediately.
Don’t: Call her the night you meet her
This is assuming you have met the woman in a bar or somewhere else that you did not leave until late at night. Unless you are looking for a purely physical relationship, do not call her the night you meet her. Calling late night says one of two things: one, you are just interested in hooking up and you want to do so before your buzz wears off and your judgment returns or two, you are desperate. For you movie buffs, think about the scene in Swingers when Jon Favreau’s character meets a girl in a bar and upon returning home, proceeds to call her repeatedly until she finally answers. When she does answer, she demands that he never calls her again. So quickly, Favreau’s character goes from “nice guy” to “psycho.” Don’t be that guy.
Setting up a date…
Do: Actually call her 2-3 days after the initial meeting
Now that you have managed to refrain from calling her immediately, you can safely call her 2-3 days after your initial meeting to set up a date. When you call the first time, actually use the phone to call her. You are trying to make a good impression; do not send an email or text message. This is when tradition comes into play. With the advancements in technology came a sudden acceptance of text messages and emails as forms of communication. However, if you would like to stand out from the rest of the immature co-eds, use the phone and make the call. Women appreciate this more than you would expect.
For instance, I have a friend who recently met a guy in our hometown while we were out at a local bar. Since we are from a small town, our friends already knew the guy and warned her that he was a loser. She listened to their warnings and debated whether to heed them or not. However, a few days later, while we were talking, she said, “He may be a loser, but he actually called me. He did not text, he called.” She ignored the warnings and went out with him anyway. A few days later, when he called her again, she went out with him again. The phone call was all it took for her to give him a chance.
Don’t: Call more than once
This goes back to that idea of being too desperate. The girl you met may screen your call to see if you are calling just to call, or calling to set up a date. Do yourself a favor and leave a message with your reason for calling the first time you call. Do not assume she will return a missed call without a voicemail and do not call back a second time because you did not leave a message the first. As much as we may deny it, dating is a game. There are rules and strategies that should be followed. Make the call, leave a message letting her know that you would like to see her again, then wait for her to get back to you.
While on the date…
Do: Keep your phone out of your date
When you are on a date, the person you are with should be the focus. Keep your phone out of view and on silent. If you constantly have calls, messages and emails coming through, your date will start to assume that she is keeping you from more important things. She may also assume that you have other girls calling (which you may) and decline any further dates.
The only thing worse than the phone ringing during a date is if you actually answer the calls or respond to the messages and emails. Your date wants to feel special. If you cannot dedicate a few hours without a connection to the outside world, why should the girl you’re with give up any more of her time for you? Obviously, something like a family emergency is different, but it you are in a situation where you need to respond to work calls, do not schedule a date at that time. Honestly, your date should not even know you have a phone on you.
After the date…
Do: Follow up with a call
After the initial date, and assuming you would like to see the woman again, a follow-up call is always a good idea. While you can get away with an email this time, a phone call makes a better impression. After a first date, both parties often feel insecure and vulnerable. Not only will a follow-up call will allow you to ease the other person’s anxiety, it will also give you an idea of how the other person felt about your connection. If it seems like both of you enjoyed yourself, you can also use a follow up call to schedule a second date.
Remember, while women may be intimidating and hard to read at times, there are some simple things you can do to increase your chances of a connection. Don’t forget to act like a gentleman and maintain some of the traditions that have withstood the test of time. While women may no longer rely on men to take care of them, they do like to feel special and important.
For more information on proper techniques to use with women and direct instruction on what women want check out the program What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind. In this 5 hour program we reveal to you everything women want not just how to properly use your cell phone for dating!
This list is spot on. I agree with all of it!
Just one question–what if you actually set the date during the first time you meet her?
I’m going this route because the more I think about it, it doesn’t seem to make sense to call her to set up the date when you can do the same when she is right in front of you. This is what I have been doing lately. Do I owe a phone call between the time I meet her and the first date?
@Michael -
I think it depends on how far apart your first meeting is and when the date is. If it’s over a week away, a quick phone call might be okay, provided you don’t stay on the phone forever. Keep it short and sweet, and FUN. If it’s a few days away, you’re probably better off not calling. I think also something that factors heavily into this is being able to judge how interested she is in you. If she’s super interested, a phone call will be good.
@Caitlin -
I like how you mentioned the Swingers scene. It’s probably the best example of what not to do.
@Michael: It is absolutely fine to set up the date when you meet a girl, as long as she seems interested in the idea. Like Dan said, you can call if there is a decent stretch of time in between (over a week is a good rule of thumb). Try to avoid texting between the initial meeting and the first date, because it tends to make the whole situation feel like a junior high relationship; one in which you communicate frequently on electronic devices to avoid phone or face-to-face conversation.
@Dan: Thanks Dan, I am glad that someone was able to identify and appreciate that reference. Great movie. It is especially enlightening when it comes to the whole idea of getting back out there, which many of us are.
Yes this list is spot on! I looked this up cause last week I called a girl on wednesday after she gave me her number. The thing was she gave it to me on Friday and I never did the double check her number thing. I will do that in the future tho so thanks. Anyway it was her number but she didnt answer, she didnt have my number yet so there was really no way she couldve been screening my call, (i could tell by the voicemail-she says her name in it) so I left a message. I WAS NOT STUPID AND DIDNT CALL BACK MORE THAN ONCE! She didnt call back tho
She was in her late 20′s tho and im in my early twenties. What do you think I did wrong? Did I wait too long to call her? I didnt say anything too horrible in the voicemail but that I wanted to meet up this weekend and to give me a call back. What do you think is the reason she didnt call back? Age, my voicemail, or how long it took me to call…. I have heard of women giving men their numbers just to mess with them do you think that is what happened? Any Ideas?
Darren,
That is just the thing. You did nothing wrong on the “calling” end she just was not into you when she decided to give you her number.
Women do not mess around with men by giving out their numbers. They give out there numbers because they don’t know how to say no.
There may be things that you are doing on the approach end that are not working for you. Meaning that a woman is not engaging in your or your personality on the initial meeting. You and I can work together to figure out where your de-ttraction points are and correct them. Let me know if you want to talk further.
There’s this lady I like, but never to her that I like her…. we’ve this distant liking of each other but not telling. I don’t know if it’s flirting because I am not good at it nor can I see or pick on signals. The last time she came to do business at one of our companies. a) She’s friendly and single. b) She couldn’t find her cell phone and she asked me to call her cell so that she could find. This time we were by the parking lot side by side. I inside my car, she walked over and opened my passenger door and asked me to call her cell. She then walked back to her call….her cell rang, she looked across over to me and winked. I had mixed emotions – business and friendly. I don’t know if she was giving me signals to make a move, I have her number saved on my phone and she also has my number now. Before any direct contact, we used to communicate with business lines. I haven’t asked anyone for an advice or thoughts. This has been bugging me for awhile because I like her and appreciate her making business with us. We buy merchandise from her anyway. I don’t want her to feel like I am going to take advantage of her services. What should I do? I want to arrange a date with her. She’s my style of a wife material that’s if everything goes well, ‘I will then take it to another level. PLEASE HELP AND ADVISE ME. Thank you in advance and have a great day.
I deal with this on a daily basis in my work as a dating coach, and I really like your post.
How much/often a guy calls a woman can make a huge impact on how she views him. I wrote a post on the subject on my blog, you can check it out here http://www.jtpierce.com/girl-gives-you-her-number%E2%80%94the-truth-about-when-to-call-her-revealed/