Thanks for taking the time to write such a detailed post. I do really like how you said ‘Remember, it’s always about communication and rapport at the end of the day. Women want to know men hear them, truly understand their needs as women, and you can’t do that with just a pretty face, lots of money, or status. They are no doubt powerful enticements but the guy who can make a woman feel like he knows her better than she knows herself really has an edge.’ This really resonates with me.

If we assume she’s still in your life, even if she’s going out with someone you’re still in with a shot. There are lots of things you can do but they should have been done the moment you realized you desired a younger woman.

First, you have to start off with an ” a priori”: if it happened once, it can happen again. Let’s assume she’s history. My suggestion, and you or might not want to act on it is this: take six months and train like you’re a Navy Seal–and by that I mean your body’s in good shape but you some work todo on the artofpersuasion. My guess is you never studied applied linguistics–linguistics being the study of the structure of the forms of language.

For example, she said, “If you were younger I’d be all over you.”

I don’t know what your response was but in that statement there was a “throwaway Phrase” : “I’d be all over you. Those statments
come out spontaneously from the unconscious. We know from that she was attracted to you but that some belief was stopping her. Obviously it was your age but we would have to know exactly what it was about your age that was stopping her from
jumping your bones and that requires familiarity with using questions masterfully to get her to examine her beliefs about age without it appearing obvious that that’s what you’re trying to do.

I’m your age and my training was to first change my own beliefs about my age and it was easier than I imagined. I’ve gotten to the point where I know I can approach any woman of any, color, creed, or age that I desire (30-40), do so with complete confidence that I can take command of the situation with questions that allow me to understand what’s really going on behind the words. It doesn’t mean I achieve my goals all the time the confidence makes every encounter exciting win or lose.
but

As an example my response to her statement about “being all over you” would have been,

“What is there specifically about the fact that I put more candles on my birthday cake than you that stops you from “being all over me”.

She might have point blanked you and said, “You’re just too old for me.”

The next question is kind of obvious.

“How much younger would I have to be?” (Notice I used younger rather than used the word “old”?).

She might have said then, “Twenty years.”

Now we have a handle on the issue–maybe.

“So you go out with guys 35-40, more or less?”

“That’s about right.”

Now, here’s where you could have started taking command of the situation.

“So, how’s that been working out for you?”

The chances are the knee jerk response will be another throwaway line (i.e., “O.k.”, “so-so”, “not bad”.) It’s not likely she’d say great because she found you attractive.

Then you could have point-blanked her and said, “Can I ask you a question. If the perfect guy was standing in front of you right now, how would you know it was him?”

She’ll have to think about it but the chances are good she’ll give you some qualities and at least some will be the “intangibles”.
She probably won’t get into the age thing and talk in generalities: he’d have a sense of humor, we’d have similar interests, etc.

I’ve seen that happen so much that I always ask, “You know, I’m curious. You mentioned all these qualities but you didn’t say anthing at all about the guy being any particular age. And here’s another thing I’m wondering about. What would have to happen in the next couple of minutes, and I don’t know if it could happen or it couldn’t because you have to let it happen, but what would have to happen for you to say to yourself, “Maybe I’ll forget about the age thing and see what happens.”

You seem to have let her off the hook too easily but that’s understandable. I think you can imagine now how much more confidence and success you’re going to have with younger women when you learn how to steer the conversation where you want it to go.

Remember, it’s always about communication and rapport at the end of the day. Women want to know men hear them, truly understand their needs as women, and you can’t do that with just a pretty face, lots of money, or status. They are no doubt powerful enticements but the guy who can make a woman feel
like he knows her better than she knows herself really has an edge. You can see the truth in that, can’t you?

My opinion is take action and go after what you want. If she still says no, then walk away.

My great friend I had been hanging out with (33), said I “was too old for her” when I expressed a passionate response to a beautiful poem she wrote me. Even though she had been showing many indicators of interest, and she also said “if you were younger I’d be all over you”!

Now I don’t have her, due to my inability to successfully turn this situation around.

How could I have handled this situation more successfully?

I’m in great shape. Work out in the gym 4-5 times a week. Am a health nut, take cutting edge supplements. My body is cut up, and am said to look like Dr Zhivago. That’s actually how I met her. She stopped me, and asked if I was that celebrity.

I’m 62, but feel great, and would very much love to have a kid with her, at some point! I have no consideration about my age at all. But she got intimate with someone else, soon after my passionate email response to the poem she wrote me was rejected.

This really hurts.

How could I turn this situation around in my favor??

What should a guy like me do when the woman throws out an age consideration, especially after first showing strong interest for months?

Most Sincerely,
Sal