Do Women Want Bad Boys? A Female Perspective
02. Mar, 2010 
7 Comments
I have been digging deeper into the question of Do Women Want Bad Boys and I have been getting tons of responses from men and women. I got a really interesting response from a woman named Sarah from the UK that I wanted to share with you.
Bad Boys vs. Chemistry
I wish I could say that chemistry is something that is a frequent visitor in my life. It’s not. It has arrived, maybe half a dozen times, and it is becoming more rare as I grow older. Each time the man was highly desired by more than a few women.
The chemistry was always hot, and, fortunately, mutual. It happened within minutes of our meeting or observing each other. And it never went away – on my side, at least. Yet, none of these fledgling ‘relationships’ ever lasted beyond a few days, weeks, or months.
Were they bad boys? As I look back now, I realize none of them were particularly honest, and all of them had a flock of females vying for their affections. These men were hot, and it had to do with their good looks, their smile, and their charisma. They were polished, sophisticated, and charming. It never occurred to me that they were bad, but then I’m not sure what people mean when they say women succumb to bad boys. I most certainly don’t!
If they were bad, I didn’t know it. How would I classify bad? For me, personally, it would mean someone who stole, was violent, broke the law, was perpetually drunk, abused people, and who sported all the other negative behavior patterns there are. But the term could also cover behavior that wasn’t necessarily criminal, so much as socially dysfunctional and deceitful. For instance, would I consider a bad boy a man who simultaneously took out three women at the same time, pretended he was faithful to all of them, and increasingly messed them around by not pitching for dates or letting them down in other ways? Yes, I think I would.
Would I continue to date someone like this if there was no chemistry? The first time it happened would be the last time. Would I continue to date someone like this if there was heavy chemistry involved? Probably – but not for long. Would I continue to find them attractive despite dumping them? I am ashamed to say yes. But get this straight! I did not find them attractive because of their bad behavior! I didn’t know about their bad behavior. I found them attractive as a result of their movie star good looks and their charismatic charm. Men who offend me upfront, regardless of good looks and chemistry, never get past hello.
This post was written by Sarah Lane from UK online dating site WeLoveDates.com. For more of Sarah’s writing please visit the WeLoveDates blog.
Hi, I just wanted to say that your blog is quite interesting, specially since it deals with similar topics as mine (www.mendemystified.wordpress.com), only from the female perspective. I’d like to invite you to take a look at how men see the same situations and compare, rather, exchange notes. Great blog. – Joe!
I came across your site, i think your site is awsome, keep us posting.
I recently ran into a simular situation. One look at him and I was hooked, well for 5 days…He told me he was the “bad boy” type but wanted to change. I didn’t really believe him, but entertained the thought. After seeing his poor judgment (getting into fights and so forth) I found him LESS attractive. So what does this all mean? I guess I would like the bad boy act, without the true bad boy drama and risk. That to me is just too stressful and not worth it. Exciting is good, poor judgement and recklessness is not. I guess there is a line between bad boy and dumb a**.
Great comment Cheryl! I completely agree.
Yes, that’s true indeed. But the fact is, the true bad boys aren’t bad boys in the true sense of the term. They are sweet yet reckless, they are rude yet charming…remember the push-pull effect.
You like them, but you cannot love them. You are attracted to them, but you don’t know if you have the connection or not. You want to subdue them, but you can’t. That’s the x-factor of the Bad Boys.
They are just uncontrollable and irresistible!
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