Marni's Wing Girl Method > Blog > Attract, Date, Seduce, Connect > How to Attract Women at a Club

How to Attract Women at a Club

 August 9, 2012

**Make sure to check out the bonus MP3 I have for you below on  “how to flirt and approach at a bar or club”.

I want you to be able to meet women whether it’s morning, noon or night: and make them feel real attraction to you.

You may like to meet women at the mall, over your morning coffee, or when you’re at a friend’s party BUT come Saturday night having the ability to approach a woman at a club is pretty invaluable.

But before I give you a few tips on how to successfully approach women in clubs I want to share with you hands down, the biggest mistake guys make.

When a guy goes to a club thinking:

“I’m here to get some!”

The results often suck!

Why?

Because he is WAY too focused on his ‘goal’ rather than having fun. This means you can end up ‘prowling’ around, obviously checking girls out, appearing creepy and more often than not going hope empty handed.

Why? Because you seem needy and desperate.

Believe it or not, if you are overly focused on picking up at the club, instead of having a good time, you are instantly going to turn off most of the women in the club. A man that is too focused on “women or getting some” is creepy.

The best thing to do at a dance club is actually enjoy yourself. Men who are having fun and not preoccupied with picking up are super attractive.

They are demonstrating that they are non-needy, enjoy life and are the kind of guys you’d want to hang out with again!

So from now on I want you to scrap:

- Lingering around the girls you want to approach, watching them, instead of going to say ‘hi’ or joining in.

- Doing a ‘sneak attack’ where you squish your way into a group of girls dancing and then just start grinding. Women HATE this!

- Fake it. If you aren’t into the music, don’t fake that you are. You may wind up looking like you’ve stepped out of a Steve Carroll movie.

Instead to succeed with women in dance music clubs take the following steps:

- Be playful with girls on the dance floor.  Yep, that means I want you on the floor initiating dance offs.  Imitate (mirror) their moves for 5 seconds and then stop, smirk and get back to your dancing. This shows girls that you ‘get it’, have a sense of humor and are being playful.

- Pull women into your fun world of dancing.  Encourage the shy girls to get up and dance: be the life and soul of the party!

Tip: Go up to the oldest women in the room and take her for a spin on the dance floor. This tells the other women in the room that you’re a confident who knows how to have fun and that’s an attractive guy women want!

But most importantly…

HAVE FUN!!! Enjoy yourself!  Enjoy the music and show the people around you that you don’t care if you look like a fool.

Going to a club shouldn’t just be about meeting women; it should be about you having an great time, being sociable and just happening to attract lots of women as a consequence!

BONUS: 3 minute MP3 clip from a private coaching call. I give my client step by step instructions on how to flirt and approach women at a club or bar.

For more tips on how to convey confidence to women so that they want you instantly, Click Here.

 

I Want To Know What You Think!

Write a comment or a question below and tell me if you think this article and mp3 was helpful.

If it was, please make sure to LIKE it and share it with others!

  • Suki D

    Totally spot on, when you go chasing women you might as well forget it – worst thing to do is being outcome-dependent! In the words of Shakespeare ‘Expectation is the root of all heartache’! And that’s exactly how you feel when you come away from a club not having pulled a girl!

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Glad you agree Suki: it is SO much better to focus on YOU, having fun and enjoying the moment rather than just chasing after women… women will tune into whteher you’re a socially attrative person, or just after one thing

      Marni :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/manojvithangevv.vithangem Manoj Vithangevv Vithangem

      i am manoj age26 iwant meet sir women

    • http://www.facebook.com/manojvithangevv.vithangem Manoj Vithangevv Vithangem

      i am manoj age26 iwant meet sir women

  • Erick

    A few years ago while visiting L.A. Santa monica, at The Boat House there was a salsa dance party, and the level of the female dancers were so impressive that i got intimidated and i did nothing but watching them…

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Next time try to join in: don’t worry if you’re not the world’s best dancer, do it with confidence, a huge smile, have fun and you will automatically become socially attractive

      Marni :)

  • Muserfish

    This is actually true. Approved and works. Just avoid kids who are on holiday (18-22), the only thing they can distinguish between men are the abs.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Glad you found that helpful Muserfish

  • Parkey

    It took me far too long to realise that it is perfectly okay to not like nightclubs. It seems to be engrained in our culture, and especially in the PUA community, that this is where it’s all happening, and if you can’t make it work there’s something wrong with you.

    Truth is that some of us just aren’t wired up to be able to enjoy such an extroverted environment. And that’s okay!

    There are other ways to practice meeting women.

    • Sir.Nathan

      I agree, Parkey. While this is an environment that I would love to thrive in, I find myself loving interactions when it’s quite natural (to me). I’ve still dated some gorgeous women and although club interaction limitation may well be a limiting belief of mine, whilever I am getting results elsewhere it does not matter so much.

      One can gain the confidence and inner strength and resolve by pursuing their purpose with passion and compassion, allowing women to naturally feel attracted to your single-mindedness drive towards your desires. Desire breeds desire.

      That said, for those guys who would like to delve into the inner sanctum that is the club scene, I feel that the advice given here by Marni is quite solid. In the Inner Game community we talk about welcoming others into your reality. What Marni has said about going out and having fun is all about this. When you’re out there doing your own thing then the kind of woman who will be attracted to this will naturally gravitate towards you — and you MAY even find that this is the kind of woman you would naturally go after yourself (with the minimum of fuss and *testing).

      Sir Nathan (aka Gawain on Brisbane Fraternity)
      CEO & First Knight
      Knights of Desire: Exceptional Men. Ethical Seduction.

      • Parkey

        Absolutely.

        The mistake I made was trying to do all of these loud outgoing things, because I find them all so superficial and overwhelming. It’s an introverted thing; with practice you get over the shyness and the awkwardness, but you still get peopled out and want to go home. You just have no energy left.

        I thrive in quiet environments; always have .The place I should have been was in a cosy coffee shop writing the novel I’m working on, because at the moment that’s my passion. When I tell women about it they’re always “Wow! Really?! That’s amazing! Tell me about that!”

        Clubs do at least offer guys who can enjoy them a practically unlimited supply of women. Supply has always been my problem.

        • Marni Wing Girl

          Hey Parkey

          I just had to say I love how you’re sharing your passion and interest with a woman: that is what is sexy here. A woman will be impressed not only that you’re creative enough to be writing a novel, but that you’re taking charge of your time and devoting time to working on something that you’re passionate about.

          Marni :)

      • Marni Wing Girl

        Hey Sir Nathan

        I agree when you naturally radiate your personality out, you will draw women to you, who are attracted to your vibe. Plus even if you don’t meet anyone, then you at least will walk away having lived in the moment and enjoying yourself – which will allow you to enjoy the experience regardless of whethere you end up making a connection with someone.

        Marni :)

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Completely agree Parkey.There’s so many places to meet great women: the store, bookshops, clubs, malls, bars, friend’s parties, online etc…As long as you are approaching it doesn’t matter what your personal preference is!

      Marni :)

  • Ding

    I hate nightclubs. The only good reason to go to a club, for me at least, is to meet women. I don’t look for one night stands (certainly not opposed to them), just want to meet women. If I wanted to have fun, I’d have stayed home.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      It’s all personal preference. But if you can’t stand nightclubs don’t overlook coffee shops, the mall, the store etc as great places to meet women too

      Marni :)

  • skw

    “The best thing to do at a dance club is actually enjoy yourself. Men who are having fun and not preoccupied with picking up are super attractive.
    They are demonstrating that they are non-needy, enjoy life and are the kind of guys you’d want to hang out with again!”
    But what if I’m really there to meet women, and the only reason I “enjoy myself” is to ultimately try and meet women? Then isn’t just a paradoxical suggestion:
    “If you really want to meet women, go in and pretend like you don’t want to meet women” That’s not being authentic
    Unless what you’re really saying is, “don’t bother trying to meet women at clubs, and only go there if you enjoy going to clubs for other reasons.” (dance, music, drinks, whatever)
    and also:”Doing a ‘sneak attack’ where you squish your way into a group of girls dancing and then just start grinding. Women HATE this!”

    I’ve seen good looking guys do this and get away with it all the time, women don’t seem to “hate” it at all.

    • skw

      “”The best thing to do at a dance club is actually enjoy yourself. Men who are having fun and not preoccupied with picking up are super attractive.”

      To put it more simply:

      What does it matter how attractive I am if I’m genuinely having fun without caring whether women find me attractive or not ?

  • skw

    if you are in a night club, you have to learn how to dance, I learned rockdance (it’s doable at a club but different enough that it looks distinctive). here is a link:

    http://youtu.be/ZvXJJqXSBrk

    I did this once and two girls started dancing next to me, but here’s the kicker, I was really having fun, and I DIDNT CARE IF THEY CAME UP TO ME. so I kinda danced with the fatter and uglier one

  • skw

    by the way I dont like dancing, but learned to be viable at a club.

  • Henry

    Great Woman, U look like a Mother for most of US. Big Time

  • dance master stud…

    Yea that reminds me when i went to my friends gig…. i wanted to have a good time. And my friend is kind of a dick…. he got mad at me cus some chick noticed i was having a genuine good time… and she asked to dance with me. And it was my friends day to get the attention and he was pissed off…. ahahahaha that still makes me laugh to this day.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      The easiest way to be naturally attractive is just to focus on YOU and what you can do to have fun at that moment in time

      Marni :)

  • http://www.sirens-london.com/ Rebeca Kasak

    Nice tips! But hey all you Men,remember: what worked for you at the bar is not going to work for you at the library, in the grocery store or at the annual work BBQ ;)

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Too true Rebeca!
      It’s all about reading signals.
      Marni :)

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  • Faux

    I guess I should avoid clubs then. I don’t like loud music or dancing, and don’t have any friends to go with. For me the whole point of such places is to meet women.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      I would say, if you hate the club environment then don’t go. It’s not being true to yourself.
      Marni :)