How To Look At A Woman & Drive Her Wild!

I came across a pretty disturbing article that said, “A note to single dudes: If you’re looking to pick up a woman at a bar, whatever you do — don’t smile at her”.

This article is based on a new University of British Columbia study, published online to the Journal Emotion. Basically their findings have said the Women are actually less sexually attracted to smiley, happy men.

So before anybody starts taking this study and the directions posted in the article by Melissa Dahl too seriously, I wanted to add in my thoughts.

First – this study is totally correct. Women do not like men who smile. But not in way that you are thinking.

When I see a man who is out with his friends, enjoying life, relaxed in his own world and smiling, I think “he’s sexy. Totally want to get to know him”.

But when I am with a man I just met and he’s beaming from ear to ear with a big smile on his face I think, “He’s nervous, he’s fake, this is making me uncomfortable, why is he so smiley, he’s super needy, I want to go home”. And about 100 other variations of the same thought all equivalent to Not Attracted To Him.

You have to remember that women are scanners and evaluate people (men) on many different levels.  This evaluation is usually subconscious.  It’s not done out of bitchiness. It’s done as a form of protection against inconsistent, incongruent and harmful men.

So for women, a smiling man is attractive, as long as he has a valid reason for smiling. If there is no apparent reason, a reg flag goes up, followed by an emotional reaction that leads to distrust and drop in attraction.

Second – This study was conducted on women’s responses to pictures of men. Not moving images of men either live or in video. Which provided very similar  results discovered by the Okcupid study that said profile pictures of men looking off camera were more attractive to women.  Click Here to see study.

A man in a picture, who is looking away from camera is interesting. What is he looking at? Who is he looking at? and why is he not focused on me? That’s what women are thinking. And that’s why both the University and OKcupid.com, drew similar results from their study’s.

Third – Don’t let these study results stop you from smiling. Women love a man that smiles! But it’s a certain type of smile that totally gets us every time.

For me, I love when guys smirk at me. I find it so sexy and mysterious.  It says to me “I’m awesome and have it together” but in a non-arrogant way.

Think Robert Pattinson of Twilight or George Clooney.

So how can you become more comfortable with smiling? A real smile that doesn’t seem forced or fake and that women won’t view as insincere and unattractive?

You practice and research!

How To Practice & Research So You Can Develop The Perfect Smile

– Make a video of you smiling in several different ways and watch it.  What do you think? Does it seem insincere?

– Go grab a few men’s magazines and study the pictures of the guys smiling.  And try a few of the smiles out yourself. You can even ask girls for their opinions on which smile they find more attractive in the pictures.

– Sit in front of the mirror and smile. Try out different ways of smiling and figure out which one feels the most natural and looks the most attractive to you.

– SURVEY TIME – go ask people around you. They can be friends, family, strangers.  Ask their opinions on your smile. Ask what they feel when they see you smile. You can have them judge your different smiles.

– Own the smile and continue practicing it every night. Each time you brush your teeth, smile at yourself.

I guarantee this 1 small change will alter more than just the way you smile. It will alter the way you carry yourself and the way that women view you.

Want more little tweaks and exercises you can do right now to increase your attractiveness to women? Work with me one-on-one and I’ll tell you everything you need to know. Click Here for more info.

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  • Terry

    As you know I was very disturbed by this article.
    I think you’ve done an excellent job of evaluating the study .
    Well done Marni.

    • Thanks Terry! Thanks for sending it to me

  • ABZ

    Hey Marni, I read the article on how to drive women crazy. I have to admit i have been approached for not smiling much, this is a very good article to read becasue i realise why some of girls start working hard for my undivided attention.

    thanks Marni
    only girl I need to find my true love

    ABZ XXX thanks a lot I will work on the smiling exercise

    • XYC

      I don’t smile, and I don’t get approached.

  • Hey Marni,

    Great article!

    I was actually telling a client this exact same thing a few weeks ago. I guess great minds think alike =)

    • 😉

      • elvis

        You are the Guru of Guru’s. Thanks.

  • I have seen guys who smile a lot do well, and guys who never smile do well, when it comes to attracting women.

    If a guy walks around a bar with a “scared shitless” straight face, that to me is a lot worse than at least pretending to enjoy himself.

    I think the smile has to have that tinge of mischief to it to be really effective. 😉

  • A small, bare smile… one that say’s, “I’m amused.. I’m happy… I’m confident” all WORK cause women DO NOT respond to the shit eating grin of the joker, the player, the badboy (without a clue) who smile from ear to ear while hoping that their b.s. won’t be discovered til ‘later’… leavin another woman hoping for a real MAN who understands that it’s the mystery… the intrigue… the less obvious ~ that turns up the heat and the vibe.
    So guys, smile a little. Make it real. Don’t shine on her like some crazy diamond… til you can deliver!

  • dirigible

    “Think Robert Pattinson of Twilight or George Clooney.”

    Kind of convenient that you happened to pick 2 of the best looking guys, oh… in the world.

    “I have seen guys who smile a lot do well, and guys who never smile do well, when it comes to attracting women.”

    I’d say the guys who look good and smile, do well, and guys who look good and don’t smile, do well.

  • drig

    “You have to remember that women are scanners and evaluate people (men) on many different levels. This evaluation is usually subconscious. It’s not done out of bitchiness. It’s done as a form of protection against inconsistent, incongruent and harmful men.”

    And with the latest slew of inconsistent men coming out of the wood work the past few years:

    Tiger woods
    David Letterman
    Anthony Weiner
    Arnold the Governor
    Every Republican

    It’s clear that whatever women are doing is totally working for them!

    Why do women get to explain away their behavior as “protecting themselves” but if guys do crazy things, or are afraid to approach out of a feeling of rejection – so as to not feel like utter shit about themselves, they’re labelled as assholes, or “wusses” rather than us trying to protect our emotions? oh right. guys emotions don’t mean shit. I forgot. carry on.

    • Yep, you got it bud. Think of all the women you know and try to list the ones that actually care about what you’ve got to say. Not many huh? We men have been nothing more than sperm donors and meal tickets for a while now and it’s not about to get any better from what I’m seeing.

      Personally, I don’t even bother with women anymore. Being single is fine with me and if I get horny I just take care of it myself. The fantasies in my head are always WAY better anyway.

      Best of luck men…we ALL need it.

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  • Yureon

    I go out and have fun with my friends smile laugh and outwardly show what a great time I am having….

    Women never go” wow look at how much fun he is having I have to find out more about him” and then approach me or “signal me.”

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