How to Show Self Confidence

The Wing Girl Method and all of it’s contributing members (over 50 women) have concluded that the number one quality a man can possess is CONFIDENCE.  If you are not a confident man you will never get the women you want.

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How To Show Self Confidence

It’s rough out there in the dating world. I understand. I know you may not believe me, but it is just as difficult for women as it is for men. We have the same insecurities and fears as you do.  Even the most beautiful woman in a bar thinks her butt is too big, or her nose is crooked, or her sister is prettier than she is.

You have an advantage, though. You have your wing girl here to tell you exactly how to behave to win her heart. My first piece of advice? Be yourself. Because the “real you” is a beautiful person. The only thing setting you apart from the “man-bo” with the two blondes on his arms, or the CEO with the supermodel wife, is confidence. And we’re going to work on that.

Walk the walk.

Back in the days of the dot com boom, a good friend of mine landed a job doing marketing for a high-profile company. His background was in pharmaceutical sales and restaurant management. He had no idea what marketing even was. But the job sounded appealing, so he read everything he could on the subject, sent in his resume and bluffed his way through the industry.

Within two years, he was promoted to the position of director of marketing, earning a hefty salary and traveling the country as one of the key executives in the company.

That same friend has also bedded Victoria’s Secret models half his age. He’s reasonably good-looking, but certainly not Antonio Banderas. He just knows how to exude confidence and you can, too. Even if you don’t feel like you are the best-looking, most successful man in the room, act as if you do. That doesn’t mean you have to be a braggart or a jerk about it. Just hold your head high with a quiet confidence and the women will flock to you.

(Marni’s Comment: If you act like you are confident and attractive to women it will become true. If you constantly fear rejection and think you are not worthy of great women you will NEVER get great women.)

Talk the talk.

My friend convinced his employers he was a marketing expert by learning a few key phrases and speaking with authority. The good news is that it’s even easier in the dating world to impress people with your conversation skills. You see, people love a good listener. Make a point of asking women about themselves and really listening to their answers with an open mind. They’ll love you for it. It helps, also, to stay on top of a few areas of news (aside from sports) and pop culture, so you have a place to take the conversation if it starts lagging. Even then, use some key facts just to get the conversation started and then let her have the floor.You don’t have to be an expert.

(Comment: A quick tip to get more comfortable with your conversation so that you can project confidence is practicing. Buy a video camera or audio recorder and practice telling stories and conversation. Then play it back and watch, critic yourself and make adjustments. Another idea is to join an improv class. This will boost your confidence and assist you with quickly coming up with material)

Be a nice guy.

Truly confident men aren’t afraid that being nice will make them look weak. Be thoughtful. Open doors. Compliment her, sincerely. Buy her a drink with no obvious ulterior motives. And involve her ugly friends in the conversation, too. “Bad boys” may have a certain something that makes us fantasize about what’s behind that dark exterior, but the man who pays us a sincere compliment and laughs at our joke is who we’ll go home thinking about. Deep down inside, women are insecure, and the guy who makes us feel special – who actually falls for our facade of confidence – is the one who will win our hearts.

(Comment: There is not a single girl I know who has ever said “Geez, why can’t I find myself an asshole to treat me horribly?” Everyone wants a nice guy.  A wimp, wuss or pushover they can do without. BUT every woman wants a nice man who is self-assured and CONFIDENT.)


The key points the Desiree is making is that when you are confident you don’t need to be anything else. You don’t need to be rich, incredibly handsome, fit or brilliant.  You can be you because you are comfortable with it.

And that is sexy!

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  • Maxim

    I have heard that women doesn’t want a “nice guy” and being a nice guy is a WRONG and first mistake most men do. If a woman meets a nice guy and a bad boy she will definitely date a bad boy not a nice guy. And it confuses me. Because you say girls want good guys. So why they date bad guys? or is this another men’s delusion?

    • Marni

      Not a delusion at all and I get how it can be confusing. When women say they want to be with a nice guy this is a truth. No woman says “gosh I hope one day to be with a jerk who treats me horribly”. I hate that men sometimes get confused by this.

      Women, do not want to be with a wimp. A pushover, a nothing man. This behavior gets classified as simply “NICE” behavior because the man always ends up being super nice ALL THE TIME. That is annoying mainly because it feels like he is sucking up.

      I hope you are able to see the distinction.

  • Brian

    The nice guys are the ones who cannot get upset when they aren’t being treated well, they excuse it and/or say “I deserved it.” A nice guy is someone who doesn’t feel comfortable going after what he wants, even if it is against the grain. A “bad boy” is someone who is on the other extreme. A bad boy is someone who doesn’t comprehend that others have feelings, they react on impulse. I think a lot of girls find this attractive because they wish they had the courage to do it. It takes a lot of assholes for a girl to appreciate a great guy. Listen to Marni, she’ll articulate it better than I can.

  • It’s been my experience that the so called “bad-boy loving girls” often have deep self-confidence issues of their own or are in fact, lacking self esteem. (This of course does not include the unfortunate women who fall for a man’s false bravado, only to find herself in love with a man in which his insecurities drive his rage and fuel his jealousy.) The few that do consistently find themselves in a destructive relationship with the, not so nice men, are not worth my precious dating time. Being a self-confident man myself I require her to have self esteem and confidence. I firmly believe that most women who possess those traits are more than willing to be charmed my nice guy personality. They also appreciate and understand that my virtues of chivalry stem from a masculine role that I enjoy playing; and not from “the nice guy” that kisses ass out of a need to please.

    On a side note I think it’s great that an article on self-confidence turned into a discussion about how nice guys with confidence are highly sought out by women. Have you been reading my pages Marni?

    • Marni

      Yep I have been reading all of your notes!

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