How To Tell A Woman Likes You

So how does a guy get dates? I have to say that over the last two years I have had maybe a handful and most with women I really was not that attracted too. If I find someone I find attractive I approach them and start good conversation, make them laugh, use some light teasing, cocky & funny but it rarely goes anywhere. There is always “boyfriend”, “I have taken a break from dating”, “I do not give out my number” I have heard it all. So I just expect that every weekend or during the day women are going to say “no” in some fashion. I do think that some women are attracted to me but for some reason they are not “attracted.” I have listened to all of the audios in this program and I have done everything right that women say they want – but why does it not work? If I was 6ft tall and good looking, then I would not be here…so I really wonder…..it seems impossible to get women to even give you their number or emails – I mean what does a guy have to really do? I have not had a date in months and honestly it just seems impossible and its pathetic….

Marni,

I dont know….I think I make a pretty good connection with a number of women (not all) but a good number….I have friends see me in action and they shake their heads asking me what happened. Lately I have been taking some attractive female friends out with me as “winggirls” and they have been as confounded as I am. One tells me I am just in a bad streak, another tells me that I am too aggressive while another tells me that I am not aggressive enough so I am really confused. On top of the only avenue that has really worked at all for me was online dating and lately that has been really dry. I have found that with each passing year that women contact me less. When I was in my late 30′s I would do pretty well with emails and connections but with every year past 40 it gets dryer and dryer. I cannot get a woman under 35 to respond back at all and the only responses I get are honestly from either 50 year old women or women that are grossly out of shape, social misfits or have more than three kids. Its really frustrating. I mean is not dating supposed to be fun? Yes I guess for the genetically or financially fortunate. For me its not, its a drag. I have more fun doing my taxes. Maybe I should buy a Russian bride….lol..

Marni,

glad you liked it.

Hey everyone, to be honest I have only seen a little of the WGM. I am old school been in the community for almost 7 years and always thought to never take advice from a woman. I have to say to WGM’s credit I do believe they can help. Enough about that.

Karl I would have to get to know a little more about you. But so far what Marni and everyone is saying is absolutely correct, there must be something with the connection.

I have a firm rule that if it feels to needy it is. And if you feel as though opinion openers are not working change your technique. There are plenty of other openers besides opinion, indirect, situational, direct (my personal favorite now). The age and everything is an obsticle no doubt about that. But my best friend and wingman is twice my age, balding and short and fat. But I tell you he has found a system congruent to his personality and makes a connection.

Again I dont know what Marni teaches I have my own method and the only reason I came on here is because I saw a note Marni made. You sound to me like you need some inner game work and definatly need to go around and check out differnt stuff, not saying haveing a base in WGM isnt good but have your base here and check out other things to enhance what she teaches you. I have been teaching now for almost three years and I still go to learn all the newest stuff from every friend I have that has a method and anytime something new comes out I learn it. This game is ever changeing and you must learn to change because it will be differnt one set to another. Any of us that teach myself, Marni, IceDragon, AFC Adam, Mystery, or I can name 50 others I know, we just give an outline, tactics and technics that we have found work. It is on you to take them get good with them then mold them to your personality.

A woman can feel if you are uncomfortable and if you dont believe in the opinion openers, then they will know you are hitting on them and the opinion openers purpose is to mask that atleast long enough to get into conversation with her.

I kind of went into stuff that doesnt have to do with connecting but I believe it is important and saw it as nessisary as to what I saw with what you wrote. Soory about the spelling never was my strong point.

Karl,

I think you are close to succeeding with women. I applaud you for your persistence in trying to understand them more. Here is some theory for you about the function of looks.

“Good looks” are one way to convey personal sexuality. Having good looks can be a definite advantage, sure. Sexy looking guys don’t even need to say anything, and already women might connect sex with their character. If you don’t have good looks, though, then you’ll simply have to convey your sexuality in other ways. Sprinkle your sexuality (not hornyness) subtly throughout your conversations and interactions. It’s like adding salt to a staple meal. A little bit can make all the difference; too much will completely ruin it. A platonic friendship is an example of a hunger-satisfying, but tasteless meal.

As mentioned earlier, physical touch is one method of conveying sexuality. Innuendos are another. Talking about sexual subjects (without intent of arousal) is a third.

Karl,

Maybe you need to take a break from all those damn approaches and just go out and have fun. But keep your eyes open and if you happen to make some good eye contact with a gal you find attractive, hit her up.

You probably don’t like the idea of “cold approaching” these ladies, so it ends up being a chore. But if you’re just out with friends having a good time you’re going to be in a much better mood and you’ll be far more confident with the women you decide to interact with. And getting the number will be a helluva lot easier.

And don’t worry too much about the looks thing. Sure, good looks is a foot in the door. So what…I am older man, wear glasses and size 44 pants, and weigh about 260 pounds. And I don’t care for the typical Seduction Community style of approach. Plus, I’m lazy.

But…when I’m out having fun, or even just minding my own business during the day, I still meet women, get numbers, and go on dates. But it only works if I do it MY way, because that’s what’s congruent for me.

As for what Marni teaches…things have always worked out better when I’ve been confident and direct, like Marni says. And, of course, whenever I’ve been unsure of myself, and beat around the bush, I’ve always had miserable results. So give the canned approaches a rest, have some fun, and be ready to take action should the opportunity present itself.

Karl,

Hope you get well soon. I hear you about the Costco thing. Just goes to show that for every hard and fast rule taught by the experts, there will always be men who either don’t know about the rules, or could care less, but who STILL get the girl. Anything is possible, and just about anything can work. And that’s not to take anything away from the Dating Gurus–they are doing a noble thing teaching attraction, pickup, and dating principles that apply in most situations. But their job is to help us lay the foundation, and it’s our job to build the framework based on our own personalities.

Hey Karl…looking forward to hearing how things go next time you roll out just to have some fun…

Best,

James

Well I am glad to at least hear I am not crazy with my observations….lol..

I do hear many women say similar things, but before analyzing that statement, I want to warn you that women often apparently give poor advice (until you understand how to interpret it better). It is a combination of poor logic and lack of male perspective understanding. This site is one of the few that seems to provide some good info from women for men (that seek deeper meanings on fewer factors).

For the sake of argument, let’s say that when a man first approaches a woman, there are 50 different factors which give clues about his character–frequency and fluidity of walking stride, angle of postural tilt, degree of shoulders being pulled back, hair style, fashion sense, where and how eye contact is made, fluidity and directness of vocal tone, verbal syntax and diction, response time and affectedness to specific stimuli, etc. There are two general ways in which to understand the significance of these various factors. The first, by analytical logic, is to focus on one or a couple factors; the result is a deeper understanding of a couple factors (like individual mosaic elements) with less understanding of the whole picture. The second general method, intuition, is to simultaneously integrate all of the factors for interpretation (viewing the mosaic from far away), at the cost of not understanding any specific element well.

Women tend to be more intuitive and, along with discussing relationships more often, that generally makes them better judges of character overall. Their feedback is very important, if you know how to interpret it. The problem is that if you ask someone intuitive about the deeper meanings and consistency of a single element (such as specific dating inputs), you may get poor answers from knowledgeable people. The logician knows how to formulate theories (that may not correlate well with real life); the intuitionist knows a lot of what happens in real life, without being able to generalize this knowledge into well-developed theories.

Basically, the preceding paragraphs were an argument to say that logic and intuition can be synergistic and to take both the intuition from a logician and the logic from an intuitionist with a grain of salt.

Now, finally, let’s interpret the line you mentioned, assuming it to be true–women want men that show emotions and make connections.

If women tend to be more intuitive and we suppose that intuitive women are making that statement, then simply being emotional and making connections is not enough to make the entire mosaic desirable. **women want men that show emotions and make connections and a lot of other stuff**

Next, consider of whom these women are talking about. Do they want all men to be emotional and make connections? Are they willing to enter into relationships with all men? The short answer is no, only those they find attractive, with actual attraction switches varying per women. **women want attractive men that show emotions and make connections and a lot of other stuff**

Now, if we apply the observed trend of mental “strong-types” to the preference (and this will be somewhat of a leap to generalize it), then **women want mentally strong-type men (with other attractive qualities) that show emotions and make connections and a lot of other stuff (and are still mentally strong after having done so)**

Based on your specific relationship goals and subpopulations of women whom you’re interested in, you can mad lib further so that you can both ask more specifically relevant questions and make better interpretations.

Judging character means being able to spot lies and other inconsistencies. It doesn’t mean being able to predict the future (because people are not static).

The divorce rate is so high is an indication of many things–too many marriages, too many options, increased independent financial stability of women, poor social role models, etc.–and is not a direct result of present-tense judge-of-character from a single individual. If you were a woman living in a rural town a century ago, your options for a new relationship would be limited, many industries would be unavailable to you for employment…even if you wanted to divorce, could you?

Logic describes consistency, intuition deciphers a plethora of inputs simultaneously. This is like comparing a quantum physicist (more logical) with an evolutionary psychologist (more intuitive). Which of the two would you go to for a better understanding of human social structure?

Laws are not *based* on logic. Rather, laws are presupposed assertions that attempt to elegantly connect natural patterns together. Many natural phenomena continue to break our “laws” (which really is an indication that our logic is insufficient).

I have to disagree that women like tall men. To me that is a myth. Reason being I am 6’2″ and average looking. Some of the women I met even told me I am cute. The guys I know all around me are shorter than I am and all have girlfriends or married. And they all tell me I am so lucky to be tall because women love tall guys. If that is the case then why am I without any women and they have the girlfriends or married?

I think I have the same problem as Karl. I can open sets with women and carry a conversation for some time. But then I somehow I lose it and become forgetful. I have not been able to get numbers or emails. After reading some of the other responses I come to think my problem is not connecting also. How does one connect? I can make the women laugh and even kino escalate.

Things sure have changed. When I was in my 20′s and early 30′s getting women was not a problem at all. I never asked a woman out back then they just came after me.

Marcus

Marcus, here’s my attempt to analytically break down connecting through conversation:

A conversation is essentially a mutual exchange of information that alters the identities of both individuals, such as by adding information or changing previously developed opinions. To begin with, two distinct individuals are necessary, whom possess uniquely different (even if similar) thoughts, opinions, and perspectives.

Spoken language is one medium through which intangible thoughts can propagate from one identity to another (vocal tone, body language, etc. are others). It is an inefficient transformation that can distort those thoughts. This is why it is important to ask intelligent questions intended to proofread and correct such distortions so that you can properly retransform them into similar feelings in your own mind (empathy) and convince the other that you posses that understanding. e.g. “So what you’re saying is…” (clarification)

After having received that information, it’s your turn to reciprocate with a response–your own opinions about the topic, a reinforcement of the position with a tangentially added statement of opinion, etc.–that invites any number of branched responses from the other individual.

If done well, you can be assertive about your own values and opinions without being judgmental of the other. A connection is made if the nature and responses of the transmitted information allows the mutual change of identity, such as by learning new information or changing old positions. Also Important, it is the result of both identities influencing each other with valuable information.

For example, saying (genuinely) funny jokes out of a joke book is less likely to produce a connection because the objects of those jokes are not directly related to you. They may connect with the joke (but not you) and laughter can be a symptom.

Another example, smiles and laughter are present, but your body language betrays that your personality is not consistent with the one projected by your tone and choice of words. In this case, the connection is poor because your identity is not recognized as consistently defined.

Another example, a conversation entirely consisted of fact swaps may lead to poor connections if one side does not value the facts highly.

To summarize, a connected conversation is a mutual transmittal of valuable thoughts between two distinct individuals that results in mutual influence of the valuable thoughts of each other.

Marni,

I am pleased you are willing to work with me. I would greatly appreciate it. I will be either available on Friday evening or Saturday. Let me know which day works for you and time.

Thanks,

Marcus

Jim,

I agree with you that many of the best things may very well seem free, but they might only be free of money. Exploration might not require money, but it does require time and effort. Pleasure is a comparative state and a sustained period of instant and effortless gratification plateaus in monotony. In a similar vein, evolutionary replication/recombination of the fittest is a zero sum game–the players might be getting “better” but they continue to remain in the same spot.

The thought might have come into your head that you wanted to check out a specific museum (want). You couldn’t go there immediately–you were at work, weren’t spatially nearby, couldn’t immediately fit it into your schedule, etc. (can’t get it). You might have then thought about it more, looked up general info online, and scheduled a payment of time and effort for your intended future exploration (want it more).

As far as games go, the word “game” in context of dating has come to have negative connotations. Maybe it would better to think of dating games as interplay with variable amounts of inclusion between different players. It’s true–a game can be played with the primary goal of beating or selfishly manipulating others. Playing “hard to get” can be playing the other because they aren’t in on it. However, teasing can create a similar attractive effect; it’s a “hard to get” game that more equitably includes both players. In this case, two people are playing games *with* (as opposed to against) each other.

Suppose you didn’t know anything about computer programming. You might object to learning certain computer languages because they were either too foreign or abstract. Your initial learning experience might be painfully frustrating, especially if the body of knowledge was complex. This might be your feeling, at least, until you learn enough knowledge to empower you in the pursuit of consequences you find valuable.

Just because the rules of computer programming languages might seem unnecessarily complex doesn’t mean that it couldn’t be fun, exciting, or fulfilling to those that know the rules.

As far as social communication is concerned, really the process is of transmitting elements of feeling from one individual to another; verbal communication is only one medium of transfer. Similarly, In the case of computers, you can transfer the data from one computer to another by physically transferring the hard drive of one computer to the second. Alternatively, you could transmit the data online–your computer reads the magnetic imprints on the hard disk and, through the electrical circuits in your computer, converts the data into packets sent through your network cable, perhaps as reflected light, until the packets eventually reach the target computer and are recombined. Different forms of communication can accomplish similar data transfer in distinctly different ways.

We have multiple senses which all accept sensory input and any such sensory inputs can be interpreted, be it sound or visual perception. It all means *something*, though the eventual reaction might be integrated into some generalized notion such as “I like her” or “something’s fishy about him.”

It would be nice if more people were direct. However, there is a certain amount of vulnerability in being direct and, perhaps due to a lack of mental/self-esteem solidity, people often see benefits to being indirect in order to prevent vulnerability (rejection, manipulation, etc.). Furthermore, directness itself is not enough. People have all sorts of logical barriers, constructed as a consequence of their personal values and beliefs. You might say, “hey, you’re sexy. Let’s do it.” She might think–this guy barely knows me and already wants to have sex. I must not be special and he probably says that to many other girls, which is not ok with me. Directness can be good, but without empathy, it can more likely be unappreciated.

We all have aptitudes. No one should be forced to learn or engage in stuff they don’t want to know. Some of us just won’t get the simplest things, no matter how hard we try.

“this guy barely knows me and already wants to have sex. I must not be special”

From one point of view, they’re NOT special. But from another, they are: they are the one I am talking to RIGHT NOW.

Wanting to have sex just by looking at someone is the most natural thing in the world. We don’t buy Playboy et al for the articles, and I dare say that women don’t buy Playgirl for the articles either.

They say “Be Yourself.” OK, I want lots of Friends With Benefits. Not exactly No Strings, but closer to Unfaithful than Faithful.

Too bad I am male … if I was female, having lots of FWBs would be simple.

By the way, if you were female, the cost of sex would be higher. Pregnancy means over 9 months to produce a child you undoubtedly know is yours but have uncertainty whether you can count on anyone for help in raising him/her. Also, sleep with too many guys and your reputation is trashed (slut) which would make you unattractive for a long-term relationship.

You have a reputation if people know what you do and form an opinion of the knowledge. It’s easier for people to know what you do if you are direct and not discrete. In relationships, people often *do* seek the truth of each other; directness is appreciated (from both ends). That attractive women may value directness more is probably more an indicator that they are more discriminatory with their preferences (perhaps as a result of more options to choose from).

In terms of the general pua articles I’ve glossed over, the general methodology I’ve seen is to:
(1) disarm her logical defenses, such as through humor or other comfort building techniques
(2) create attraction
(3) provide a satisfacory alibi that will absolve her of blame for having sex with you; the most consistent alibi is direct truth.
(4) missing is insight about relationship growth.

Your intelligence does limit you. An understanding and application of the punitive consequences of rape probably prevent you from having sex with just any woman. Also, their looks or age. Would you have sex with a 70 year-old-woman? How about 11? Why don’t you get a hooker? Male chimps are not discriminatory with whom they mate with, and yet we are for no real biological reason.

Friend Zone is an indication of a lack of attraction. Directness, or more generally described as demonstrated solid self-esteem, is sexiness. By being direct, you generate a reaction (which could be good or bad). You take a risk that could go in your favor or not. This is opposed to taking no risks and getting little in return (e.g. friended).

Male and female nature are distinct, however similar they may seem. Physical, hormonal, and even brain differences are observed. Just because you may consider looks as the most influential factor in a mate does not mean women think the same. If you were in a woman’s shoes, you’d be a man in a woman’s body, but not a woman in a woman’s body.

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В каком заведении отжарить аппетитненькую секси телку с большим удовольствием? Распаляющие попы славных девчат и обалденных крошек за деньги. В каком заведении покувыркать лакомую ночуню фею дешево? Где потискать вкусняшку блондиночку с большим удовольствием? У какого сутенера покувыркать аппетитненькую секси телку ,чтобы никто не узнал? Заводящие глазки стройных малышек и несравненных индивидуалок. У какого сутенера снять соблазнительную ночуню фею ,чтобы с кайфом? Как отжарить сладкую брюнеточку с большим удовольствием? Аккуратные бедра стройных малышек ,а также удивительных подруг по вызову! Аппетитные губы стройных девчат и чудесных девочек по вызову.

The signal is do you want to talk to her? That is only signal that you need. Everyone is an option and by waiting for the right signal from someone else you are putting everything in their hands.

I know you are looking for something a little more so I will tell you obvious signs that a woman is interested.
- Eye contact
- Flipping hair
- smug smile
- sipping on straw right in your eye line
- girls who are out with one another and not engaged in one another and looking around the room

EasyEC, once again great comment. These are great indicators that every man should be paying attention to. When I am attracted to someone I suddenly start to feel less composed. Stumble over my words, get hotter and my confidence is not as high as it usually is

I also really like the way you explained connections. This is something I used to have a very big problem with. I could get someone to like me at intro but found it hard to form a friendship. This was because I was not connecting. I was great, fun and enjoyable but not showing that I was interested in a connection.

Amazing comments. Karl please go back and re-read every response that people have given to you and take it in. Do not respond but think about what they are saying. You have enough information now from tons of great people who have been so helpful with advising you. Go out and get your results and if you need a first hand persons view on how you are coming off to women come to LA or Toronto (where I will be for the 1st week in June) and do an outing with me and my Wing Girls.