5 Reasons Why Hot Women LOVE Nerds

I rarely have guest writers on my blog, especially male writers, BUT I had to post this blog. It’s written by an Anonymous Silicon Valley Founder and self-proclaimed, nerd.

I fully agree and endorse all that is said in this article!

Let me know what you think.

5 Reasons Why Hot Women LOVE Nerds

I am a nerd, and I have an elite sex life.

Wait – what?

It gets crazier: I don’t make much of an effort, either. All I do is stay true to myself, maintain my values, and chill out.

Let me explain: I am not a pickup artist. I don’t manipulate people or follow particular routines. I don’t go after every girl. I’ve dabbled in all that junk, and it’s not who I am.

Then, I discovered something crazy: By staying true to my [nerdy] self – and understanding women a tiny bit (see below) – I found myself with an unstoppable sex life. To be honest, the only thing limiting me is my time.

“Exactly what kind of women is this nerd dating?” you may be asking. Beautiful women. More than good-looking, these women have stimulating personalities, fascinating lives, and broad perspectives. And they’re damn sexy.

I find it funny that nerds who’ve mastered theoretical math or software programming still haven’t discovered their enormous advantage over most dudes when it comes to dating. Most nerds accept the Hollywood dogma – hot girls go for meatheads – like it’s Newton’s Second Law. How silly.

High-quality girls – those with both brains and beauty – are drawn to nerds like bowling balls to the Earth’s surface. We just have to not get in their way.

Here’s why hot women love nerds:

1. We Have Passion

Nerds aren’t defined by superficial things, like how we dress or our raw IQ: being a nerd is to be passionate about something.

Being passionate about something – anything outside of making money – is extremely rare for women to find. As one journalist recently lamented about the influx of very successful men to her city, “They thought the ability to buy someone an expensive meal made them interesting.”

Gorgeous, intelligent women find nerds incredibly refreshing in a world of men who may have a six pack and a nice car, but lack substance.

As one woman told me – after what was an incredible one-night stand – what turned her on the most was when I started talking about my passions. She didn’t necessarily understand them – but she loved the energy I radiated.

Genuine, independent passion is rare – and it’s the definition of being a nerd.

2. We Couldn’t Care Less What Others Think

One blond midwestern lawyer told me after we both had a few glasses of wine, was that she found it extremely attractive that I didn’t posture or try to showcase my achievements. Most men she encountered in her city went unnaturally out of their way to hint at their success. To women, that’s always transparent.

Growing up as a nerd, you learn an important lesson: life is just better when you don’t pay attention to what others think of you. As adults, that ends up being an incredibly unique trait – one that women absolutely notice.

3. We Stay Humble

Nerds crave to be around people who are better and smarter than they are; that’s where we learn most. We’re happiest when the people we’re with, challenge us. Only truly secure, confident people can live life this way.

Nerds are humble, but not pushovers. When we believe in something, we certainly make it known. Secure, confident humility is extremely attractive.

Turns out there are scores of brilliant, accomplished women out there, too. Fortunately for us, normal men find their independence too threatening to date. As nerds, we enjoy being around anyone who challenges us with new perspectives. And those women enjoy being challenged as well – and know how (unfortunately) rare men like us are.

4. We Have Our Shit Together

Nerds have their act together. We have good values and live by principles. We respect others because we have empathy. We prefer genuine friendships rather than being social butterflies. Our intelligence permits us to choose lucrative careers that make us genuinely happy.

Nerds have our shit together more than the general population of men. It’s probably why they’re so threatened by us – and call us nerds. Fair trade by me.

5. We Learn Damn Fast

At this point you’re thinking, okay, great, so why does the dating world not seem to favor nerds?

What stands between your average chess champion, hardware engineer, or mathematics professor, and the dreamy women around them? It’s simple: we just have to not get in their way.

We’re inherently attractive by our nature; we just need to learn the basics of the process – and open the floodgates.

Nerds are, by nature, fast learners. We take pleasure in learning hard things, and we’ve done it many times. Sure, women can be complicated, but come on – we’ve hacked more complicated systems. (No offense, women!)

There’re a few basic things most of us haven’t thought about:

– Women want sex as much, or more than you do

– There’s no magic: Women want you to lead them through a simple, consistent path, without skipping stages (gradually – but not necessarily slowly).

– Women need you to initiate – from saying ‘Hi’, to getting a number, all the way to taking off her clothes. And if you do it right, there’s never any need for courage or acting, just being yourself.

– We need to get out there – be easy to find and interact with, whether on Tinder, OKCupid, Facebook, or real life.

– Understand that you’re not going to have chemistry with all women – and that the smart thing is not to care.

– We could do a few small things to be more attractive (hint: this is easy, totally under your control, and has nothing to do with genetics)

All of these are incredibly easy to achieve and require almost no courage or training. It’s just another system to hack.

As nerds, we’ve got an enormous advantage over the general population when it comes to dating attractive women. The best part? All we have to do is be ourselves.


Marni’s comments:

I fully agree and endorse all that is said in this article! Especially the last few bullet points mentioned by Mr. Anonymous.

Would LOVE to know your thoughts on this article.  Write your comments below and tell me what you think.

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  • Dennis T.

    Might work in LA or Silicon Valley, but doesn’t work in 99% of the US… And having to be the founder of a major company… Kinda sounds like Tim Ferris wanting to figure out dating… so he hires some nobody named Neil Strauss… just your average dating coach… NOPE…

    • B.D.

      In other words, these women are smelling the money or he’s letting that vibe be known. I’ve seen it work on occasion, but on rare occasion. There is always something else that is the real hook and they tolerate the nerd part for that.

      • roberthagedorn

        I thought it was a good post, but I don’t think he is quite as “nerdy” as he claims to be.

        • winggirls

          I totally hear what you guys are saying. To be honest, I was debating putting up that part that said “silicon valley….” because I knew you would have that reaction.

          The other day I went out for dinner with my girlfriends. As I was waiting for the valet to get my car (everywhere in LA has Valet so it wasn’t a fancy place) and this guy pulled up after me in a run down kind of gross car. I have to be honest and I instantly thought something lowly about this person “gross. Can’t take care of his car.” but then I saw the guy and he smirked at me and then confidently got out of the car and say looking good. Have a nice night as he walked away from me.

          I did not think Yuck anymore. I thought “we have to sit near him”

          My point being that we all have instant snap reactions. And yes being in a nice car, dressing well i.e. things that could symbolize money, can certainly capture our attention and make us think more positively about someone. BUT it’s not all that matters.

          Good attitude, charisma and butt load of confidence can trump casholo any time!

    • BillK

      Doesn’t work much in Silicon Valley, either, can’t speak for L.A. 🙂

      The basic bottom line here is that even though a guy can be confident and himself, women, just like men, are often attracted purely by the physical first, or at the very least that’s what gets you “in the door” to be able to show off your confidence and other wonderful qualities.

      If you look like the guys on HBO’s “Silicon Valley” most women in a club wouldn’t give you the time of day – however if they got to know you over a period of time (say if you were, to be cliché, the office IT guy), she might come to appreciate you for who you are.

      Either way, it shouldn’t stop you from approaching, but it’s not as cut and dried as this article seems to make it out to be.

    • Anonymous

      Hey there, original author here (Marni can verify). I understand where you’re coming from, so it’s important for me to clarify that by the standards of where I live and my industry, I’m not considered wealthy by any means. I consider myself extremely lucky and rich in life terms, but I’m not on any Forbes list. I’m in tech because I love it; other than that I prefer the simple life.

      If it’s helpful to hear this, I’ve heard many of the hottest women around here complain that the newly-rich tech millionaires strut around like they deserve attention and expecting women to flock to them. They talk to women not with confidence, but with arrogance due to their money. You can imagine how well that works.

      Their problem, I bet, is that they always assumed that the moment they had money all their problems would be solved in life. Don’t make their mistake! Don’t give money too much credit.

      • Dennis T.

        Thanks for the reply. I’ll clarify a couple of my comments.

        First, you are in an area that is saturated with similar companies. You have women seeing the same type over and over. They see, in you, something better than the arrogant type they don’t want.

        Also, there is a larger population in your area. In mid-america, you can visit different cities, and different places (i.e. Starbucks, bars, clubs) and 80-90% of the people there are regulars. You don’t have the ‘type’ of women looking for the smarter, nerdy type. There just isn’t the mix of people that will match up like that.

        Second, I’m sure if there was something you needed, like a stylist for better/different clothes, you could get it, and probably fairly cheap. I’m not saying you have the fancy car or the $10,000 watch, but you can look your best when you want.

        The last thing is the meeting place. Yes, you can go to different cities for more variety, but you can literally walk down the hall in a local mall and not see a single woman except the store employees. We don’t have the saturation that CA has, or NYC or any other major city.

  • Eddie

    I think this is 100% spot on.

    This guy has clearly defined values, he’s got hobbies he genuinely enjoys, he’s not changing himself for other people around him, he has a healthy attitude around rejection/failure (I’m certain that’s why he’s successful financially), and finally, he nailed the last one: As men, he knows we need to initiate.

    He also clearly values women for who they are. I did not get the feeling that his compliments on the women he dates were meant to impress me, he genuinely is fascinated by these women.

    The ONLY thing I think he misses is what’d I call demographics. I’d bet this guy wouldn’t get along with a ditzy model type, he seems smart, he wants someone to engage emotionally with. A lot of men get that part wrong, we chase women we don’t actually want for validation from other dudes.

    • Johnny Marconi

      I also think he is correct in his 5-points.
      BTW, he agrees with your bet that average chicks are not for him.
      From the get go of his commentary he remarked that ” I don’t go after every girl. I’ve dabbled in all that junk, and it’s not who I am”.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks Eddie! Absolutely… I don’t get along with the ditzy model type. And I have no desire to 🙂

  • Eric

    I have a nerdy comment, offered as an example of a conversational gambit. English has distorted the term, “passionate.” A more appropriate term for the meaning intended is enthusiasm. The etymologic root of “passion” is the Latin deponent verb, patior, meaning I suffer. Passion plays are plays about Christ’s crucifixion and his suffering on the cross, not about His enthusiasm for having been crucified. The etymologic root of patient is also patior. It comes from the present participle, patiens, one who suffers. One who is patient, adjective, is one who is suffering the hardship of waiting. A doctor treats a patient, noun, i.e., a person who is suffering from an illness. Love can bring suffering, especially if it is unrequited, either initially or perdurably. By extension, then, a powerful love can entail suffering. That’s why a woman whom a man strongly loves may be his “passion,” but enthusiasm or love of a hobby or of a vocation doesn’t carry suffering with it, so it’s off-point to designate those as “passions” or to claim that one is “passionate” about them.

    Would a conversational gambit of this sort arouse romantic interest or annoyance in a woman, do you think?

    • winggirls

      Depends on how enthusiastic she is about this debate BUT I will say it’s interesting.

    • Anonymous

      If it’s interesting to you, bring it up! However, I would keep the intro short 🙂 See if she picks up/engages the topic first. (Of course that’s standard conversation etiquette with anyone, not just women)

  • donaldbreaux

    Just goes to teach everyone that he or she who has Integrity and has passions for life not allowing what others think foster their Ego and being 100%true to ones self can only win outright in any goals they set their minds to obtaining.

    • winggirls

      Love that comment!!!

    • Anonymous

      Thanks Donald 🙂

      One of my favorite books is “The Education of a Value Investor” about a classic Wall St. ego-driven investor who gets to meet and have lunch with Warren Buffett; and his subsequent transformation to realizing much of what you just summarized.

  • Chris Cook

    What he says makes perfect sense. Basically, if a woman sees that she is your only focus in life, she’s gonna walk away. He demonstrates that he has other stuff going on his life which he is enthusiastic about, regardless of whether or not he has a girlfriend…..This sparks her interest in him, because he can talk to her about something other than how great she looks..

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  • H8TheWayLifeIs

    Is it wrong that I am kinda jealous, envious of the power women have in their youth, teens and 20’s in the dating game?

  • Mya

    Why do people think attractive woman are automatically not nerds or smart or funny or like bobs burgers and a plate of nachos over a fancy meal out?

    My now husband was my best friend first, a total sweet hearted geeky nerd. And yes, I am a curvy, blue eyed blonde with an equally big heart. It also helps that I find him very handsome.