One Night Stand: When Are Women Open To A One Night Stand?

One Night Only: When Are Women Open To A One night Stand?

one night stand, jessica alba

My Wing Girl Zoey tells you exactly when a woman is open to a one night stand!

I could have a one night stand, and I’m the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, ‘Do you really have to be here?’ I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more… I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don’t feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have… I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. – Jessica Alba in “Cosmo”

There’s a common misconception that only a wanton slut, a Desperate Housewife, or DeDe the Dogfaced Girl would be the kind of woman open to a one-night stand.  But many desirable women, Jessica Alba included, aren’t afraid to satisfy their needs with no strings attached.  Truth be told, a vast majority of women have enjoyed a single night of passionate, no rules, no meaning, simple satisfying sex.  In the past we may not have admitted, even to our girlfriends, that we’d indulged in a one night stand for fear of being labeled and judged.  But more and more women are embracing their own empowerment and sense of fun and adventure, while choosing to leave the judgments and labels in the dark ages where they belong.

We’re all aware of the stereotypes of a weepy woman waiting by the phone for her one night stand wonder to fulfill his empty promise of “I’ll call you…” or the wannabe-wife who believes a night of sex translates into choosing a caterer and color theme for the wedding.  While these stereotypes are often the antithesis of real women, their desires and intentions, more than a few of us have had her feelings squashed by that troglodyte who wrote a check his ass couldn’t (and never meant to) cash.

After a couple of these disappointments, some women determine to not be let down again by any man.  She starts calling the shots, deciding with whom and when she wants to get laid; she becomes the architect of her own experience.  Rather than finding herself panicked and lonely, the woman unafraid to love ‘em and leave ‘em indulges in a night of passion and then simply goes on leading her full life.  Presented with the choice, she turns a one night stand into an experience instead of a disappointment.

one night stand, attract womenFor other women, spontaneity is simply a way of life.  This type of girl grabs opportunity by the balls and rides it for all its worth.  This type of adventure-girl believes life is too short to let an exciting opportunity pass her by.  The right guy, the right place, and the chance to regale her girlfriends with another fantastic story, is too irresistible.  This is her moment to enjoy her body and her sexuality with the right person to satisfy her needs at that time.  Waiting around for a one night stand to take her out to breakfast is not her style.  For the adventure-girl, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Even when she’s in Detroit.

Women are open to a one night stand on innumerable occasions, each with her own reason or for no reason at all.  She might be too busy to be tied down by a long-term commitment or maybe obligations make her feel trapped.  Perhaps she’s living out a lifelong fantasy of going home with a sexy stranger.  She might be on the rebound, unready for all the banal complications that come with dating someone new, but eager to sample some fresh flavors of men.  Or maybe she just wants what Erica Jong termed a “zipless fuck”: Unapologetic sex with no stings attached, pure and free of ulterior motives and power plays.  With no emotions involved, she’s able to get out of her head and truly enjoy the chance to leave behind all the contrived rules about romantic encounters and just have wild, hot, meaningless sex.  In between searching for our soul-mate and getting our hearts broken, who couldn’t use zipless screw now and then?

Here is your chance to listen to 2 women talk about their experiences with a one night stand, why we had a one night stand and what makes us want to have a one night stand!  Listen to the audio below:

one night stand, how to have a one night stand

Click Here To Listen To The Full 20 Minutes of our discussion of A One Night Stand!

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  • Farley

    Interesting blog,

    I got a question though,

    What if the woman can’t get enough of that one night stand and slowly becomes attached to the guy? Lets say she has had the BEST sex she has by far experienced with, lets say his name is Carl. She has some more one night stands, but the sex aint as great as the ONE she had with Carl. Now she can’t get him out of her head.

    • Marni

      Not really sure where the question is. People have to make choices in life. If what this girl wants consistently is the best sex in the world than she will continue to go back to the great sex with Carl. But it sounds like this girl wants more than just one night stands and good sex.

      Most women don’t end up, long term, with their best sex partners. They end up with their best partners and together they can learn to have amazing sex together.

      • Ketan

        Good answer.. Yep, I agree. Sex is just one important part of the relationship.. Relationship has many more important attributes that just sex. I guess it finally comes down to what both of them want from the relationship and what they do with their expectations. If the girl gets emotionally attached to Carl, and so does the Carl.. its already making more progress than “just sex”

        k

  • mysterious man

    I am a guy who’s turned down a lot of women who I suspected just wanted a quicky because I value myself more than that….so, just to let you ladies know, there are men with standards that are really high.

    • Marni

      That is awesome and I am aware that men have standards as well. The most important thing for all people to realize is their value and what THEY want not what others want.

  • Mark

    One night stands do happen, but you really have to be “out of the norm” for an attractive woman to want to do this. Women will have them but it is (from what I have observed and experienced) with the top 1% of males that have natural advantages such as looks, height, some kind of status. Making a woman feel great is one thing but women are picky in this regard. They want a great experience and with a hot guy if they can. I mean why would an attractive female have a one night stand with a guy if she is not really attracted to him?

    I have been to Vegas, NYC, the Islands and women are definitely up for an adventure and one night stands. I have tried having one night stands tons of times but when ever some pretty boy enters the room or club they will flock to that guy or try and get his attention in seconds. They want to tell there friends about it and feel they have “really scored the hot guy.” Once that happens, she will have one night stand with that dude. Women can be quite devious (or selective) that way. I have been there on the dumped end.

    • Marni

      Actually this is probably true. If you go listen to the audio I recorded with benjamin karney you can hear about how women select their mates for 1 night stands. It’s really interesting. Women and men have different standards and processes for selecting one night stands.

      • Mark

        So, no point listening if you’re an average guy then, I guess? You get to hear that she wants someone taller and better looking than you.

  • JIM

    Exactly? All you gave were generalities. Where exactly? How can a guy tell which girls are ready?

    • Marni

      There is no tell tale sign that she is ready BUT what this article is saying is that most women are open to it. If you lead them in the right direction, most women can get excited about being sexual and living out a fantasy. You just have to know how to do it which is something I am very good at teaching!

  • Matthew

    Great insight as always Marni. However, I do wonder what the extreme(s) of ‘self-empowerment’ could do to a woman. I have a concern that a woman could eventually become so ‘self-empowered’ that they try to filter out men out of the dating process. They may become obsessed with having ‘power’ and start deciding who dates them based on their own set of stringent criteria, and thus having ultimate ‘power’ over who they are with. For instance an awesome guy starts talking to her who is interesting and funny but because she decides she wants no-strings fun at that time, she will not give him any ground e.g. giving her phone no. out or going on a date with him just because she has decided that she doesn’t want to date at that time…I’m just concerned that this situation could occur when women tread the path to ‘self-empowerment’ unless i’ve misread what your blog is about…I hope i’ve made sense! Matt

  • Mark

    So I guess the question is, what can a guy do to have a one night stand with a beautiful woman if he is not the ideal physical type or is just a normal guy who fancies a particular lady? I really do not think personality so much really does it. I think the whole thing is based on looks.

  • http://social-masters.com/blog David Black

    “DeDe the Dogfaced Girl” – don’t talk about my sister like that! ;-)

  • http://facelift-without-surgery.org Claire

    Women just like men enjoy one night stands, especially if you are older and divorced or single, and Mark (above) thinking that personality doesn’t matter is so wrong it matters more than looks with the majority of women. I like waking up alone in the mornings, So every now and then a One night stand is great and exciting. But believe me on the personality thing it means more than the looks.

    • Marni

      I am so happy another woman got on here to say that! It’s true on all accounts and I wish more men believed us Claire.

      I will say with 100% certainty that looks are important, for those first 5 seconds and then something interesting happens. It happens when I meet men and women. Their face changes to me. Depending on the character I feel from them they start to look different.

      A really attractive man can turn to disgusting for me in 5 seconds. A bald, short man can also suddenly change to a super stud. Why? Because of their character that they project to others. Those feelings hit us in the knees and we FEEL it. We feel if a man has his shit together. We feel it if he knows it. and we feel it if he is an insecure, emotional mess.

  • smartass

    To the men who are offended that women go for one night stands only based on looks.

    Yes, it’s true. Women who are looking for one night stands prefer hot men. Deal with it. We have been dealing with being judged only on our looks, for centuries.

  • Pino

    I am a believer that personality matters more than looks to “women.” I recently found a picture of a guy that my wife had a relationship with, and I thought he was unattractive to say the least, and he eventually became a jerk to her. This still blows my mind. I told her I would have had to have 20 beers to sleep with an unattractive woman. I know this sounds shallow, but I think most men want to have sex with attractive women.

    Also, she told me most men that she met in her life were one night stands. I didn’t think she was the type who had that many one night stands. So I asked for a number she said “10.” Anyway, when I bring both of these subjects up, she gets furious. Any input from you Marni would be appreciated.

  • Wesley

    Question: “When are women open to a one-night stand”

    Answer: “When the money is right.”