When Is It Okay To Talk Dirty To A Woman?

When is it okay to talk dirty to a woman?

This is an area that has been fascinating me for the past week after getting an email from one of my clients, who I will refer to as D.

Email:

Marni,

Thanks for all your advice. I am having too much fun now.  I wish I truly understood this side of me in my teens and twenties.  Just knowing exactly what I want and what truly motivates me to pursue.

I am taking your advice on giving my dates a second chance. I didn’t know that you all (women) in general could be so wild. Now, I’m finding out even the shy/boring acting ones are too.  I told this one girl I was on a second date with  in so many words that her perfume smelled like an edible flower that I wanted to devour and from that point 80% of our conversation was sexual (mutually).

what is up with that?;)

D

****

D has been experimenting with flirting, banter and escalating to sexual conversations with women. And I must say, he is doing very well.  What he is learning is that the less he constricts himself on what he CAN say, the more attracted,  excited and open women become.
Why? Because lack of rules mixed with, being attracted and feeling safe, cause a subtle rush of excitement.

I gave D my response but wanted to dive a little deeper with other women in my network. So I sent an email out to about 200 women to ask them their thoughts on when it is okay to talk dirty to a woman, do women like to talk dirty and what did they think of D’s actions?

I got some mixed responses, which I have posted below.  My commentary will be at the end:

J – (26). Truth. Once I have a few cocktails I am up for anything, especially if I am into the guy.  Drunk translates to feeling relaxed and comfortable.  Know what I mean?

A – (40) I’m sorry, this may not be very generous of me, but is this guy 15? He sounds totally ill-equipped to be dating grown women.

Ellen (59) – My response might be relative to how much i have had to drink. un-drunk, 2nd date, i find it creepy; unless that is what you want from the relationship, just sex.  In a relationship, when you feel safe, you can have dirty/sexy talk, why not?

S – (28) That’s a pretty good line. I think it gets a response because flowers conjure up feeling of beauty, delicate-ness, a delicious-ness that every woman wants to feel & have it related to her. Therefore it is not too threatening and very sensual. I would definitely respond to it – #1 – if I was wearing a floral scented perfume (which I usually don’t, so could be viewed as a total come on line) #2 – if I was feeling some chemistry from our 1st date, I’d be open to sexually tinged conversation on the 2nd…

C – (32) – Hmmmm….  For me, I found the email to be sweet.  It sounds to me like this man is exploring his natural impulses of sensuality.  Rather than staying all buttoned-up tight as lots of our societal conditioning can want us to be! Personally…  I’m a big fan of tapping into the more primal energies that I believe are always present…  But not always accessed in our everyday modern lives. I think I would have enjoyed his question as well…  IF…  And this is a big IF…  It came from a pure place of sensual pleasure.  If it came from a creepy place, then of course it would be a different story.  But I think I would have appreciated his creativity, and his risk to break outside of the dating mold. I like, what I call, a little grrrrrrrrr-rr-rr-r-rr in a conversation!

E – (30) He needs to be careful because there is a fine line between saying something to get a rise and sexual harassment. It may be rewarding if the girl is the same way.

JM – (29) If you are into him, it’s hot – not if he is a nerd. That would totally creep me out.

Marni’s Commentary:

Here are my thoughts on the topic.  I truly believe that deep down inside most women crave to be released sexually BUT they want to be released in a safe and secure environment.

Let me explain. Women are more locked sexually than men because of the backlash women constantly receive for being overtly sexual.  Names like whore and slut come to mind.  I think for a lot of women moving past the fear of being labeled is difficult to do. I know that when I was younger I never wanted to be placed in either of those categories. Therefore I held back sexually until I was sure that the man would not take advantage of me and respected me.  Sadly for me it locked me up sexually.

Fortunately I have a partner now who has been able to “unlock” me and help me really experience sex.

Now that I am more comfortable with my sexuality I would love if someone I LIKED talked to me the way D talked to his date. It’s fun, it’s exciting and it’s out of the norm.  I will say that even though I am not a big drinker, a little alcohol would help me drop my inhibitions and fears and I would gladly play along.

Just note that the creepy comment comes up several times in the responses above. There is a fine line between being sexually exciting and creepy.  Be careful not to cross that line. Baby steps, feel out the women you are with. She will tell you how far you can go and how comfortable she is with talking dirty.

TAKE AWAY: Women are open to being sexual, if anything they WANT to be sexual as long as they feel comfortable.

Want to hear more honest and real opinions straight from the mouths of women on sex, attraction, being approached, connecting, dating, relationships and tons more? Then Click Here.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

I would love to hear your experiences, opinions or any questions you have.

#1 Secret To Dating Younger Women

Want to know the #1 Secret To Dating Younger Women?

I get at least 2-3 emails a week from men asking whether or not they can date girls who are younger than them.

I always find this to be such a strange question because there should never be any limitations on who you can and cannot date.

Listen, if the girl is 16 I am obviously going to advise against it but if she is legal and you connect, then I play ball!

The real question I like to throw back at these men is why are you putting boundaries on what you can and cannot do?

The #1 Secret To Dating Younger Women is to stop thinking about what complete strangers (women) want and start going after what you want. The only thing that stops you from getting what you want is your own head. So if you think that a younger women will not be interested in you then she won’t be. How could she be?

Thinking that younger women will not be attracted to you is an issue with YOU not women. The longer you have this belief the longer you will not be dating younger women.

The way to get rid of this belief is simple. Just throw it out the window and stop letting your insecurity about your age be your crutch or defense mechanism.

I can tell you that I have a lot of female friends who prefer dating older men.  In fact, I happen to be one of them.  In the past I had dated men who have been up to 20 years older than me and am now married to a man that is 10 years my senior.  To be honest at times, the issue of age did come into my mind but quickly disappeared every time.

There was one instance when age did become an issue and that was the time when the guy I was dating became totally fixated and insecure about our difference in age.  It was brought up every 2 weeks and I could tell that he was very uncomfortable with it.  This made me uncomfortable with it and it also annoyed me having to constantly defend my age and the reason we were together. Exhausting and very unattractive.

I thought it would be interesting to interview them and see why they preferred dating older men compared to men their own age.

“Older men are like a breath of fresh air. Most of the men that are my age (26) are not comfortable in their skin yet. They are still figuring themselves out. I did that 3 years ago and am ready to be with someone that is a little more mature, independent and confident.” – Melissa 26

“I like to date men who are in their late 30′s – early 40′s. They are less headaches and are more open to communicating because they are not worried about looking cool and being macho. Plus they know who they are or are at least closer to getting there then men my own age.” – Jennifer 27

“I have dated younger men and I have dated older men and I definitely prefer dating older men. They are just better. Men who are younger or my age don’t really interest me. I find it easier to connect to older men.” – Belinda 35

Everyone around you is an option and therefore women young or old will be attracted to you as long as you are attracted to yourself.

Remember, you can’t turn anyone on if you aren’t turning yourself on and doubt mixed with poor self worth will not turn anybody on.

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Enjoy!!!!

Do Women Want Sex As Much As Men?

Of course we do. We just want to be able to make the choice to have sex.

Speaking for myself, as a woman, I like sex. It’s fun and it feels good. What’s not to like.

I will be honest and tell you that I am a good girl who used to be very prude when I was younger.

The reason i was so prude was that I was uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with boys, my body and myself.

Not a good combo if I ever wanted to have a mind blowing sex life.

When I was 18 I went backpacking and safely kissed my way up the east coast until I met a very special guy who totally broke me out of my shell.

The first time we were making out he said to me “I want you to be comfortable. If I do anything that makes you nervous or uncomfortable, just slap my hand and I will stop.”

I can tell you there was no hand slapping and I got very comfortable.

The reason for this was because I felt that I was in charge of my sexuality. I was getting to make the choice and that alone put me at ease.

Women want to be sexual. Women want to be sexy and women want to live out crazy sexual fantasies but they need to feel safe and secure.

They want to know that they are the ones making the choice and not being forced or pushed into being sexual.

I never want to feel judged or pressured. I don’t want to be tossed in the slut category and therefore I am very conscious of who I give my sexuality to.

Women want to be unlocked. Trust me. Even the purest of pure want an adventure.

As men, you can give women a safe place to be sexual. Just like my backpacking friend did for me.

Next time you are getting intimate with a woman, try his move and I promise you will get great results.

Too Much Outer Game =’s BAD NEWS

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This article is about one of my clients that was obsessed with outer game.

Obsessed to the point where he found himself constantly losing women.

Don’t get me wrong, I love outer game. It is fun, engaging and easy. Usually when I am out for a night and I interact with a guy, we banter, I do my dance for him, he does his dance for me and it is fun. FOR ONE NIGHT, maybe 2 if I am in the mood.  But then it becomes exhausting.  BORING, UNATTRACTIVE and NOT SEXY AT ALL.

After 1 or 2 times with a guy, I want something real, something I can latch onto or at least feel like I could latch onto.  What I am referring to is substance.

Women want to connect to man they feel has substance.  Has more going on than some quick lines of banter and entertainment.

If a man is all about outer game he is basically equivalent a magician.

A magician is there to entertain for the evening then disappear from your life but will continue to do his show night after night after night.

One of WGM’s most recent insider members, recently read an article I wrote about too much out game equally bad news.  In this article I go through a case study of one of my clients who was obsessed with outer game.  In fact he was so obsessed with outer game that he totally forgot to focus on any inner game.

He first wrote to me confused by the fact that he was not getting girls to answer his calls past the second date.  Obviously you can take a gander at what my response was.

So after a few emails back and forth, a lot of female insight and much more openness from his end, he finally got it and wrote me this email:

“This is so real. I’ve lost so many women due to over gaming. and really, i think it was really out of fear. Fear that if I didn’t have her utterly captivated and laughing and if i wasn’t escalating sexually that i would lose her.

It’s funny (and a bit tragic) that when i learned these things – i became so enamored with the tools that i lost touch with my own body, my own feeling of things. and when I’d rewind i could notice that “hmm. . . that interaction felt off . . . i pushed too hard . . . i missed the transition point . . . i came across as eager and try hard.”painful to see but good to learn.

I love the banter and the flirting too. and i find it’s good to pepper it into interactions as a spice but not the whole meal. i really am loving your stuff. Pretty shocked that after only a few emails back and forth my whole mindset totally shifted. thanks so much for doing it. “

Routines can work. In fact, I totally endorse using routines and lines AT FIRST.  But treat them as training wheels.  They can help you overcome approach anxiety and show you how to structure conversation. But they can’t keep a person engaged for longer than an evening.  That skill has to come from within you.

It is so important to have a balance of inner game and outer game. When you are truly balanced you will see it is not a game at all but YOU. A confident, self assured, whole YOU.

To read this full article on outer game vs. inner game that includes instructions on how to build your inner game, sign up for WGM’s FREE Insider membership below:

If you are looking to jump start on your inner game and discover how to be a balanced man that women love then check out our at home, instantly down-loadable program How to Become A Man Women Want. Become the best version of yourself in just 60 days!Click Here to find out more

How Sexy It Is To Be Direct With Women

I want to show you an example of how sexy it is to women when a man is direct.

I recently saw the move Vicki Christina Barcelona, staring Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson and Javier Bardem.

The movie is about 2 women who go traveling for the summer to explore new things and find themselves. During their travels they meet a man played by Javier Bardem.

Javier’s character is sexy, straightforward, direct and again SEXY.

Their first interaction with him is at a restaurant where he comes up to their table and asks them, very directly, if they would like to come with him on a trip. He states that it would be filled with fun, good wine, good food and GREAT SEX. He really said it just like that.

After he said this, I could feel the libido’s of all the women I was watching with start to get rise and get excited. This is every woman’s dream.

Yes, I know, Javier is a handsome man but it was not just his looks that got us excited it was the way he made his offer.

Now this is an extreme example of a man being direct but it is an important one.

Javier’s character wanted something. He was direct and offered it and was okay if it was declined.

SEXY, HOT AND SOOOO ATTRACTIVE!!

This is what I hope you are able to accomplish. Doing things for you and not for women.

Definitely check out this movie if not for just Javier but the kiss between Scarlette Johansson and Penelope Cruz . Click here or click the image below to get the movie.

Let me know what you think.

Welcome to the Wing Girl Method

Hello, and welcome to the Wing Girl Method. I’m Marni, the owner and creator of The Wing Girl Method.

My Wing Girls and I created this site to teach you all about WHAT WOMEN WANT in a man so you can use this information to more effectively attract women.

The Wing Girl Method is the first program to provide men with a female perspective on how to attract a woman.

My team of Wing Girls and I are able to tell you what women want in a man simply because we are women. What turns women on, what turns wommen off and what attracts women to you.

The Wing Girls and I have made it our goal to teach you every secret there is to know about how to attract women. We believe a man that truly understands women is a man with complete power. The power to make women fall head over heels.

Women are going to hate me when they discover what I am about to start teaching you. Through these blog posts, our dating tips newsletters, our wing girl services and our relationship advice products available through our website, I am going to reveal every secret that women have tried to keep hidden for years.

I am doing this because I believe it is time for nice guys to finish first.

No more becoming “The Friend”, no more wishing she was yours. It is time to get every woman you have ever wanted to crave you.

One thing I will tell you is that “GAME” is just like any other skill. It requires time, practice and dedication.

Just like any other program or lesson, it will only work if you work at it.

If your goal is to be with more women, to become a player, a pickup artist, or a PUA … then it is your job to take the right steps to make this happen.

You have already made the first step by reading this article.

The next step is taking the lessons you learn and put them to practice.

If you want to get a jump start on your progress I suggest checking out our “How to Become the Man Women Want” program.

No male can ever be with a woman if he is not the MAN that they want.

Stay tuned for more blog posts and newsletters in the coming weeks, with tons of useful information all written from a female perspective.

Topics such as how to balance your outer game with your inner game, being a man, how to avoid becoming the cash cow and increasing your options with women.

Are you ready to learn all about what women really want?

You better be …

The Wing Girls are here to assist and advise you throughout your process.

Please leave your comments on the blog here, and let us know the kind of questions you want answered.