Why Do Women Flake On Plans?

Why do women flake on plans?

Have you ever made plans with a women and then 30 minutes before meeting she sends you a text saying “Totally forgot. I have plans to meet my grandmother and can’t make it” or “Seems work has called me in last minute. Can we reschedule?”

I am pretty sure you have experienced this at least once in your life.

I can tell you for certain that this woman did not just “remember” she had plans. She is flaking. She is a female flake.

When a woman likes a man there is no way she would cancel plans on him for something else. AND if she does cancel she will make
certain they have concrete plans in the future.

How do I know?

I know because I have done this to men several times. So have each of my Wing Girls and so have each of my female friends.

So the question is why do women do this?

Unbeknown to them, women do this because they are selfish. To avoid their own discomfort they will be polite and accept an invite with
absolutely no plans of ever following through.

I do want to add in, that this is not malicious behavior from women. It is in no way planned or meant to be cruel. Women are not
trying to embarrass you or be mean. It is simply done to avoid an awkward situation for her.

It is easier to say yes to an invite or give out a phone number than to say NO. At least that is what most women feel and what
felt in the past.

They would much rather avoid the phone or flake on a date rather than being rude and saying NO to your face.

Again, this is selfish behavior that is based in female insecurity.

Women don’t realize how hurtful these actions are to another person. They don’t realize the frustration, annoyance and hurt men
experience when they have a woman flake on them.

They think they have avoided being mean and rude when in fact their actions were actually more cruel.

Now, I am going to try to my best to teach the women of the world to be honest and say what they mean but that is going to take some
time.

In the mean time I can provide you with tips on how to protect yourself against the flakes!

These tips will help you ensure you don’t waste time, money and energy on women that are not into you.

Tip #1

Don’t Get Angry

When a woman texts you 15 minutes before your date that she “forgot” she has another obligation understand that this means she is not into you. Instead of being angry or hurt about her flaking,
feel sorry for her that she was not mature enough to be honest.

This will create a calmness in you because you will realize that this is a type of woman that is not worthy of being with you. A woman who cannot speak the truth is not worthy of your attention
nor is she mature enough to handle you.

If you like you can express back your disappointment in a mature manner that lets her know you will not accept this behavior. Again, do not be a dick but maturely express that this behavior of flaking
is not cool.

For example write something like “Totally understand that things can slip the mind. In the future it would be best to check your schedule so that you aware of your commitments. My time is very valuable to me and I hope you will respect that in the future. No hard feelings. Have fun at your event!”

It’s firm, shows you have respect for yourself and is also soft at the end to let her know you are still safe.

Hopefully she will learn that her behavior was not cool and either correct it with you OR correct it in the future. Either way a good deed has come out of the situation.

Tip #2

Don’t Leave The House Before Confirming

To save yourself a drive and possible parking fee text her before you leave your home about an hour before you are set to meet.

Say “Running about 10 minutes late. Hope that is still cool?”

This text gives her the time to take her out if she wants it. Truth is if a woman is going to flake she is going to flake but at least with this move you can save yourself time, money and energy.

Tip #3

Learn To Spot Signs Of Interest

The possible flake date can be avoided by being armed with knowing what it looks like when a woman is interested in you. I must add that these are not fool signs to look for because circumstance can
play a role in many interactions.

For example, sobering up.

Some women will only be very available to you for a single night. Meaning potential for a one night stand but no date a week later.

Another example is personal reason.

She may be on the rocks with an ex, she may be super stressed in her own life, she may be getting over a break up, she may have just been up for flirting that evening. So many reasons exist as to why
her feelings faded after an evening.

Another example is meeting someone else. Attractive, quality women may meet someone else that they are more interested in. Therefore they will now put their energy into this new guy.

The signs to look for that she is interested your sexually or for dating are:

- Making eye contact
- Ignoring her friends even if it is a girls night
- Slightly touching you (too much touch is a sign of extreme
comfort and possible future friendship)
- Engagement in conversation

Once you ask for the number listen for the pause. The awkward pause where she debates whether or not to give you a real number or fake
number.

Most women who want you to call, if they give you their number have been waiting for this question to come out of your mouth. Meaning
there should be no pause.

A pause usually translates into possible flake.

These tips will assist you with determining whether or not a woman will flake on you and will also assist you when you are dealing
with a flake.

The important thing to remember is that when a woman is a flake it is a reflection on her. It shows that she is not confident enough
in herself to give a real honest answer and is scared to look poorly in someones eyes.

I have learned my lesson about flaking and try to teach every woman I come in contact with the importance of being upfront and honest.

Again, I will do my part to stop this from happening and you can do your part to stop it from happening to you!

Marni

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How To Attract Women: Avoid Pouncing On Her

You want to know how to attract women?  Don’t pounce on them.  In the past few weeks I have had several coaching sessions with men who did not realize that their actions were considered pouncey by female definition.

This made me realize that there are probably thousands of men in the world who don’t know how to attract women because they end up on pouncing on the women they desire.

Because of this I asked one of my Wing Girls Esmerelda to write a list of the Do’s and Don’ts to ensure you don’t pounce on women. I am sure you are not doing all of these things but if you are STOP RIGHT NOW! These Do’s and Don’ts are for those who have gotten past the first and second date and are on the way to exploring the options of a possible relationship.

I have also written a blog post for AOL that explains bouncing in greater detail. If you are a pouncer it can explain why you may be bouncing and what you can do to stop it! A link to the article is posted below the Do’s and Don’t list.

How to Avoid Pouncing On A Woman

Do

1) Text or call her once or twice a day – Keep it short, brief and non-needy.  There is nothing wrong with saying a quick hi as long as that quick hi is not satisfying an urge for you.  Read the AOL article for greater detail on this.

2) Focus on the moment and make an effort to make sure things continue to go well. No need to focus on the future especially in the beginning stages. Take your time and make sure she is for you. This is a testing period for both of you so don’t forget you are involved in the decision as well.

3) Reciprocate physical affection but don’t go over board.

4) Share your interest with her: We want to get to know you.  A man with a passion is the sexiest type of man.

5) Control your desire for her.  Think about where the desire is coming from. If you are trying to control an emotion and acting impulsively don’t do it.

6) Appreciate her body. Tell her she is sexy.

7) Don’t pressure her sexually.  A woman pressured is a woman that will not feel free to be sexual.  Let her feel that she is involved in the process of opting into sex.  (Get David Shades Material about how to be a masterful lover.  He just interviewed me last week for his membership series and we talk all about how to make a woman more comfortable with sex.  My interview goes out in January.  Click here to get David’s Materials)

8 Show her you trust her. Men with walls who distrust all women are by far the most unattractive specimen of man.  Be cautious but don’t let past baggage carry over.

9) Accept change.

Don’t

1) Compulsively text or call her every time you think about her

2) Physically dwell on her. Too much kissing and obsessive hugging is annoying.

3) Give her constant reassurance. If a woman needs constant reassurance there is a disconnect.  Either there is something you are not giving her or she has some past insecurity. Get down to the bottom of it and figure out what can be done to make her feel more comfortable.

4) Throw yourself too quickly into a person you barely know. Take time. You are allowed to go slowly and figure out if this new woman is someone you want to invest your time in.

5) Exaggerate your physical ardor and enthusiasm for her all the time.

6) Talk about your exes and compare her to any of them. Even if your intentions are good, we do not like it!

7) Dwell on the past.  As said above this is a fresh start so past baggage is not needed and unappreciated.

8 Overwhelm her with food or gifts.

9) Be defensive. Listen to her and don’t take everything she says as a test.  Read our blog on The Shit Test so you can understand.

10) Get jealous of every man that sets his eyes on her.

11) Make sex a display of desperation or a time to show off. Remember she is there to and she feels “like a hole” she is going to tense up and the experience will not be as great as it could be.

12) Expect anything to stay the same forever.

I think Esmeralda did a pretty great job of discussing what does and does not attract women.  Go back and read through this list and check out my latest post on AOL to get a better idea of what pouncing means, how women view it and how to avoid it!

To read the AOL post click here.

To get more amazing tips and tools from me and the rest of The Wing Girls fill out the form below. You will receive a Free guide that reveals everything you need to know to attract and keep you the women you want!

Do-Able vs. Date-Able, What Do Women Want?

Meet one of my new and wonderful Wing Girls Trish a fiery red-head with tons of spunk and personality. She has written an interesting article for you on what defines a man who is “Do-able” vs. “Date-able”.  Just like you, we place members of the opposite sex into categories. Shocking right?

So what do women want? The Date-able guy or the Do-able guy?  The answer is a little bit of both.  Ultimately, most women I know, want to be with the Date-able guy but while they look they may as well have some fun with the Do-able ones!

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Do-Able vs. Date-Able, What Do Women Want?

For me it’s dark, vibey hair.  That’s the first thing that catches my twinkling, single eyes when I walk into a bar, film event, concert, whatever.  Maybe it was working in the music industry or spending a lot of time in granola Santa Cruz, but guys with shaggy-ish hair you can run your fingers through, like Adrian Grenier or Brandon Boyd, make my heart p-p-pump in a, “How YOU doin’?” kind of way.  I can’t help it, that’s just my type…or
what I’m INITIALLY attracted to at first glance.

But does this mean my future husband has to rock the “I don’t have to shower or cut my shag-alicious hair because I’m a rock star” look?  Absolutely not…no matter how fabulous my dreams of shocking the pressed pants off my more buttoned-up, east coast relatives are.

You see just because the dark, brooding artsy types top my “Do-able” list doesn’t mean I want to have three hour “hipster” conversations or vibey babies with them.  In fact, I have tried to date some and in reality a lot of these guys are notorious commitment-phobic players.  I have found that a lot of these guys don’t conform to society’s standards—of grooming, career, etc.—for a reason.  In other words, these guys are totally “Do-able,” but not totally “Date-able.” Go ahead and kiss…YUM…then run-walk away…

So who is this “Date-able” guy?

To be “Date-able” there has to be some kind of physical pull, but there also must be something more to keep one interested—whether it’s a killer sense of humor, a shared passion for the high art of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, or simply the promise of not being a douche.  It means you actually want to spend DAY time with the person, not just make- out time.  It means you look forward to introducing the person to your friends without fear that said friends will suddenly “forget” to invite you lovebirds to every social function.  It’s simple, really.  The same things that make guys want to get to know a girl
POST-beer goggles make us want to get to know you post-Pinot Grigio-goggles.

Think about it…

Most every hetero male has at one time been mesmerized by the stunning Heidi Klum look-a-like with a 2.0 GPA shaking her micro mini on the bar…but that doesn’t mean they all want to take her home to mom or even pay for a first-date dinner at Koi.  I mean, does she even eat?  Can you talk to her about your embarrassing passion for John Grisham novels?  Would she ever dare wear snow pants—the kind you can actually stay out in -15 degree weather for hours on cross-country skis?  Of course that doesn’t mean you and Heidi can’t have a noteworthy night (or ten!) in the sack (no judgments here, my friends) and part ways before the morning hours where no doubt she eats Camel Lights for breakfast.  Just don’t kid yourself if you try to date Heidi and are suddenly inspired to stab yourself with the salad fork every time she responds to a question with, “Huh?”

And “Groom-able”?

That’s the Holy Grail of “Date-able.”  It rarely comes around more than a handful of times a lifetime.  In order to reach “Groom-able” status a girl not only has to love spending day and night time with you…she has to want to live with you.  Forever.  Till smelly gym shirts do us part.  She has to trust you.  And not be grossed out by the idea of procreating with you (or not…kids aren’t for everyone…again, no judgments!).  She has to introduce you to her family and hope you don’t turn them into Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” in the process (no matter how fun that might be).

So next time you meet a girl you actually want to date, remember…there has to be something more than a cute face or witty opener to keep her interested.  The same standards you look for in a “Date-able” girl are pointed right back at you.  So just be yourself.  If you guys actually date she’ll get to know the real you, anyway, so why not figure out if this is worth pursuing right away?

And please guys, start conversations, not lines.  Or save those for the Heidi’s…they’re probably too dense to realize how lame you sound or at least you won’t be around the next day when they finally figure it out.

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