What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive

What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive?  The answer revealed!

Last night I was partaking in my usual Monday night, guilty pleasure of watching the Bachelor Pad.  In case you don’t know the Bachelor Pad is a spin off of the Bachelor series where they take ex contestants, put them in a house and have them compete for $250,000.  During the competition they are also interacting with the opposite sex and attempting to possibly find love.

Every week I say to myself, I have to show that clip to you. And every week, I forget to do it but this week is different.  This weeks clip was too good to forget about.

I have titled the video clip below: Looks Only Go So Far, What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive.  Many men never believe me when I say that, women will choose personality over looks every time.  Looks can get you in the door, but it’s personality that will keep you there.

My commentary is sprinkled throughout the video.

Watch as Jesse B, who is a total cutie, can INSTANTLY lose Peyton’s attraction and become repulsive.

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Marni’s Commentary: So I am pretty sure some of you are going to say to me “What a bit*h.  She should give him a chance. He made 1 mistake…..”  I have heard this from people before and my answer is always the same.  I tell you how women DO react, not how they SHOULD react.  Based on that theory, Jesse SHOULD have not made these stupid mistakes, but he did. AND what he did, in case it was not clear,  was hurt her feelings because he took away an amazing romantic moment that she thought he was feeling as well.

As a woman, I could feel Peyton’s disappointment because I constantly experience this in my own relationship.  When I am in a romantic mood and turned on by my man and then he does something “dudeish” I get sad.  Sad that the moment wasn’t reciprocated. The thing is that I understand it from the guys POV as well.  I know that when I am with my man and we are really connecting, he gets comfortable with me and when he gets comfortable he lets out his real self.  Sometimes his real self wants to pick my nose or fart.  As much as I should take it as a compliment, I don’t.

Same thing happened with Jesse. Jesse got super comfortable and showed his true self, which is great.  BUT there is a difference between being yourself with the guys and a being yourself with a woman you are on a second date with and trying to date/sleep with/be with. This was Jesse and Peyton’s 2nd date not their 6th year of a relationship.  Therefore Peyton only has the 1st date and this experience to form her opinion of him.  And sadly for Jesse, her opinion is NOT FOR ME.

Let me know what you think.  Post your comment and share your thoughts.

Also, check out my latest product review on Scot Mckay’s newest product The Man’s Approach:

Product Review: The Man’s Approach

Produced By: Scot Mckay of X&Y Communications

Now you may or may not know this but I LOVE Scot Mckay and his materials. Why? Because they are genuine, real and easy to put to practice.  His products and teachings are very in-line with mine.  We both believe that inner confidence and comfort are the driving force for success with women. His newest product, The Man’s Approach, definitely lives up to this reputation I hold for Scot.

The Man’s Approach is the definitive tool kit for the regular guy that doesn’t want to be a pick up artist but a real man.

The first thing I want to say about this product is HOLY SH*T is this packed with content. There must be at least 30 + hours of product materials PLUS tons of bonus materials that include 30 minutes of coaching to the first 50 buyers. Now you would think with all this content it would be extremely overwhelming, but the way Scot has laid out the materials has made it very easy to use.

Materials are separated into clear cut categories so that you can pick and choose the materials you want, when you want them. For example, you want to understand how to pick up a waitress, there is a video dedicated just to picking up waitresses.  You want to know how to ask for a phone number, there is another video just for asking for phone numbers. So even though there is a lot of material it is still very easy to use.

As I said this program provides step by step instructions on EVERY possible scenario you could possibly encounter.  No “Pick Up” routines, or lines, or tricks.  He gives solid, sincere and honest advice that every man can use to succeed with women.

Here are just some of the topics covered through video examples and audio directions:

- Approaching Women

- Starting Conversations & Creating Attraction

- Getting Her Number

- Meeting Women in Various Situations:

- Igniting Femininity – This one is super important

These are just a few of the topics covered in audio format with a written PDF transcript attached.

THEN he has a whole video section as well with visual examples and instructions.

Some of the topics include: How to handle adversity, meeting several women at once, waitresses, meeting women at bars, on the street, at the gym, dating single moms….

Here are preview pics of the a few of video materials offered:

When I say this program covers it all, IT COVERS IT ALL and effectively.

Marni’s Rating: 4.5 Stars

From a woman’s point of view, Scot’s directions are not just spot on, but they are clear and easy to follow for every man. If you are looking for an at home kit that provides step-by-step instructions on how to properly execute: Attraction, Self Confidence, Approaching, Engaging, Connecting, Escalating and Dating then this program is for you.

To find out more about Scot’s program The Man’s Approach Click Here

How To Talk To Women

The most common questions I receive from men all over the world are about How To Talk To Women? And it got me thinking why is this question so common? Why are men so confused on how to talk to women and then I realized it was because the way that men talk to one another and the way women talk are totally different.

When women talk, they look for connectors, emotional connectors. So men that understand this about women, have an upper hand over other males.

So what I am going to do, with the help of my friend Bill, from PUA Forums, is teach you a few tools to use so that you can connect to women in conversation and will never again have to ask me how to talk to women.

Bill discusses what he uses to remember to connect with women when talking with them. He remembers to  Listen, Confirm and Affirm which I thought was genius and as a woman I can say these actions are definitely appreciated and rewarded at any stage, be it attracting, dating, relationship or marriage.  Connecting to women does not stop once you get her number.

Here is a brief summary of Listen ,Confirm and Affirm

Learn – Learn something about a woman by asking a question or by having her tell you something about herself

Confirm – Confirm you have heard her by talking about the topic at hand for example giving your own take on the topic either by sharing a story or expanding on hers

Affirm – Affirm that because of this “thing” she has told you makes you like her more

Listen to the full audio (16 minutes) that gives a much longer description with exact examples on how to talk to women and how to connect to them through conversation.  After you are done listening to the video, Click Here to see another one of Bill’s famous moves called The Whiskey Kiss!

To watch a video on how to perform the Whiskey Kiss Click Here!

When Should I Call Her?… Text Game, Phone Game, Email Game

When Should I Call Her?

There’s that cliché in the movies where the girl is sitting by the phone, waiting for it to ring, picking it up to make sure there’s still a dial tone.

It’s the perfect depiction of the anxiety and near-obsession us girls start to feel when we don’t hear from you within the first few weeks of dating. And now with all these other means of contact—text, email, Facebook post—it’s even more confusing. We’re sitting there thinking, “does he not like me? Did I do something wrong? Has he moved on?”

What we fail to consider is that it may be none of the above. It may just be that you have no idea how often or when you should contact us, which is something plenty of my guy pals have expressed to me.

So here’s a few quick pointers to answer the question “When Should I Call Her?”  just to get you started:

#1: If it feels too often…

It probably is.
Once I met a guy on a Sunday. He asked me out for Friday. He called or texted me everyday until then.
I didn’t mind so much, since I was really into him too, but by the following Wednesday the whole thing was over. How much contact you have is a component of the relationship that needs to build with time, unfolding at a steady pace. If you’re already talking everyday from the start, where do you go from there? And in the event that you do decide to take a “day off” and not drop us a line, we may start questioning ourselves yet again. Not a good tone to set in a relationship, especially in the beginning.

Lesson for you – Don’t POUNCE on her! Never attractive and never, ever works! Trust me.

#2: If it’s her birthday…

CALL HER.
Don’t text, don’t join her 50 co-workers and high school acquaintances with a generic “happy birthday!” on Facebook. Pick up the phone ala 1985. Knowing that you took that extra step that is rarely taken anymore will let us know you care. Granted, there’s the question of when gifts should come into play, but that’s for another blog.

#3: If you’re on vacation…

This all depends on how much you care, and how much you want to show it and how far into “dating” you are. If you’re on a weekend getaway with your buds and still have cell service, even just a quick text can make our day. The fact that you have all these other fun distractions, but we’re still on your mind and you took the time to make it known? That’s sure to get some butterflies going in our tummies.

***But if you’re not pursuing something a little more serious, let it be. Enjoy your vacation on your own and get in touch when you’re back.

#4: If you’re “really busy”…

I don’t care. Find the time. Because guess what? If this turns into a full-blown relationship, there’s bound to be plenty of more times when you’ll be overwhelmed at work or helping a buddy move. But you’re not gonna go two weeks without talking to your girlfriend, are you? I didn’t think so. So if you’re into this new chick enough that you think you might want her to become a girlfriend—and you’re also getting that vibe back from her!—act accordingly. Do a little check in or send a quick note via text or email.  But keep it short, 2 min max. Let her know you are super busy but just wanted to check in and say.  This shows you care about her but that you still respect your work and your future.

***But if you’re not pursuing something a little more serious, then wait till you are free to call. Only touch in if you want to show her you really want to connect.

#5: If you said you would call her…

I can’t believe I actually have to address this. If you say you’re gonna do something, do it! Don’t leave her hanging. Please.

The most important overall note when it comes to answering the question “When Should I Call Her?” is that in dating there must be respect. Respect for yourself, respect for her, respect for your current life and respect for hers.  In the beginning is when you get to establish boundaries, set parameters in which you would like the rest of your relationship to follow.

What To Say To A Naked Woman

I came across an amazing article while I was reading my man’s Men’s Health magazine. It was called What To Say To A Naked Woman.  The article is based on a survey conducted by the magazine where they surveyed over 2,000 women on a myriad of questions.

I wanted to highlight some interesting points that were shared in this article.

What To Say To A Naked Woman

1. Most women have insecurities (duh) and love frequent, enthusiastic compliments

2. Love and Care is one of the 19 recognized mate-retention tactics. Aaron Goetz Ph. D says “The biggest part of the love and care tactic is complimenting your partner’s physical appearance.”

3. Evolutionary psychologists show that women are programmed to be skeptical of what men say. It’s their way of protecting themselves from manipulative men who don’t want to commit to relationships. TIP Avoid exaggerating. The more a compliment is tailored to that specific woman, the more intimate and effective it is says Tammy Nelson Ph.D.

4. Women said they enjoyed compliments about their breasts. EXAMPLES Your breasts are so soft. They fit your body perfectly.  Your nipples are so hot.

5. For women, compliments lose their credibility when they’re paid in response to a statement of insecurity

6. Note changes to her appearance. Her efforts are a common mate-retention tactic.

7. Women are most sensitive about their stomachs

8. Women are more aware then men are of compliments given and received, according to a 2004 study. Women see compliments as a way to grow closer to a partner. Keep giving her compliments whether she is in the buff or fully clothed. It reassures her that you still feel an emotional connections to her.

9. Compliments from others are often more believeable than compliments from you. Tell her compliments your guy friends have given her about her.

10. Make sure she knows how happy or excited you are to be in bed with her. Display feelings.

11. Out of 572 women, the majority of them listed Panties, Camisole or a Necklace are the single items she feels sexiest to leave on when stripping down

Remember that each of these were in response to the title topics “What To Say To A Naked Woman”.  Each of the items listed below will help your lady feel more comfortable, more secure and safe.  Remember the safer she feels the more she will do

Another important thing to note is that women enjoy being sexual.  They just want to be able to choose their sexuality rather than have it forced on them.  As stated above, the more you can make a women feel accepted, attractive and safe during any sexual act, the more free she will be.  When you provide a safe space it allows a woman’s mind to free itself of insecurities and actually enjoy being in the moment.

Do you want more information on how to free a woman’s mind so that she can unleash her sexual side in a safe environment?  Or learn, step-by-step, how to attract, meet, date and SEDUCE every woman you select?

Then get my top rated, instantly downloadable program, What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind.

Click Here to find out more

I will be increasing prices in the next few days and don’t want you to miss out on this mind blowing, insider’s information that I will be revealing at a hugely discounted price!

Click Here to find out more

For those of you who have purchased What’s Inside A Woman’s Mind your FREE updates are available now. If you don’t have the program yet, YOU SHOULD .  Click Here to find more.

Online Dating: Using the Right Words In Your Online Dating Profile

Part 2 of our mini series for Online Dating is about using the right words in your online dating profile.

When I was using online dating, I came across SOOOOOO many men who didn’t understand how to present themselves well online. It was sad for me, because I knew that if these guys made a few simple wording tweaks they would get the recognition they deserve. BUT because of some minor errors they were turning off women and making them click out of their profile.

Below is another great article from Adam Gilad, who is a specialist when it comes to online dating.  Trust me! This guy is a master in the online dating world and he has taken what he is learned from his experiences to write the article below.  My feedback is included in bold.

Article From Adam:

You were probably taught these rules in high school, but it’s also possible you were too busy staring at the girl next to you to have paid attention. It’s okay and you’re forgiven.  In fact, there might have been something wrong with you if you preferred grammar at age 16!

So here’s a quick rundown.  These points are simple, but crucial for a successful profile that isn’t completely ignored at first glance:

1. Don’t misspell: Stick your file in Word and spell check it. Women hate it when men misspell.  It shows sloppiness and a lack of attention to detail.  Women like attention to detail.  Think about it — consider their predilection for decoration and, oh, foreplay?  So pay attention to details. The two words I see misspelled most often – “independent” and “definitely.”  Also, know the difference between desert and dessert. Listen, I myself have been busted a few times for horrible grammar and spelling errors in my newsletters.  So I get that it’s tough to have proper grammar.  But there is a difference between impeccable grammar and careless mistakes.  Proof read yourself or a get a friend to help.  You don’t want stupid, obvious mistakes popping out at women. Trust me, it will turn them off instantly.

2. Avoid clichés: You are not a hopeless romantic, a gentleman and a scholar, a boy next door.  You are an individual worthy of individual expression. Use individual and unique definitions for yourself. I love it when men use the word individual. I think it is sexy and strong and it means so much to me.  The cliches actually make me sick to my stomach. It just screams “I am trying so hard and I think this is what women want to hear”.  We do not want to hear it.

3. Avoid generic language: You don’t like walks on the beach, a nice wine with dinner, or feel as comfortable in jeans and t shirt as you do in a tux. Same comment as above.  I have an audio recording for you in the part of the series that explains this further.

Do yourself a huge favor. Go read other men’s profiles and see how often guys write the exact same thing.  They are clueless.  More importantly, to an attractive woman online, they become the same as all the others… invisible.  (You can usually cloak your profile to go look at guys’ profiles, if the idea of that sounds weird.  Just go “invisible.” Most dating sites have that option. This is a great idea.  See who pops out to you and then study what it is they do.  It will help a lot.

4. Be precise in your language: Say Chicago Blues instead of blues.  Shiraz is better than “wine.” No Chardonnay (feminine), orMerlot (lazy).  The Palms is better than Vegas.  Rib-eye steak is better than mere steak.   Azure is better than blue.  Aspen grove is better than forest. Not sure about a few of these but a good note to take away from this rule is, know what you are talking about. Don’t fake it to impress.  If you want to talk about wines and really know what you are saying then study up on it.  I have have a great article here on wines if you like. Click here to read

The more precisely you can paint the environment of your life, the more tactilely and sensually her imagination will project her into it (much more on that in other articles!) The more real you will feel to her and the more her senses will wake up when reading your profile or emails.

5. Be dynamic in your language: Avoid static words like “is”, “are” and “have” – those are static verbs.  USE A THESAURUS to make your sentences sizzle, and that often starts with what are called active verbs.

Example: If you love your dog, you might want to write: I love dogs!” BORING! Rather, paint a picture of you relating to your dog that she can feel, see, enjoy and project herself into that picture… Painting a picture is huge.  Women want to visualize a scenario. That is why women use so many words during the day because they are constantly painting pictures.  This helps us capture an emotion so we can feel.  If you can paint a picture of what a woman COULD be part of you will capture her attention and her heart. Trust me.

“I like to spend Sunday mornings wrestling in the sand with my lab.  She’s hilarious- running up to say hi to everybody. You can practically see her laughing the whole time, and then we collapse and peacefully soak in the sun.”

That’s a happy picture vivid with action.  I don’t merely have a dog.  Rather the reader sees and imagines me wrestling, and laughing, and collapsing with my little furry pal.  What a playful guy!  And there’s room for her in the picture  too, so she can see herself lying down next to me at the end.  Who is that “we,” after all, she might wonder?

6. Show, Don’t Tell: Possibly the most important writing rule of all.  Don’t list.  Don’t talk and tell about yourself.  Show yourself. Same comment as above. I had a client who would interview date. Which means he would give exam type answers to questions asked by his date rather than paint a picture and get involved in his story.  This shows passion and women love passion.

If you are funny, do not say you are funny – be funny.  If you love your little nephew do not say he is the “light of my life” – paint a picture of something you and he do together or how he makes you laugh.

This is the difference between George Clooney coming on screen and telling you the story of Oceans 11, and George Clooney in the action of the film itself.  Which is more interesting?  Show your life; don’t list the facts of it.  Write little movie scenes in your profile.  She will be drawn into that movie, as anyone would.

Remember these 6 simple rules online and you’ll instantly stand out from all the hundreds of guys who don’t have a clue

As I said Adam is VERY experienced in the online dating world. As am I.  He has created a couple of amazing HOW TO programs for all steps of online dating.

DO YOU KNOW THE #1 SECRET THAT BUILDS ATTRACTION ONLINE?
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO FIND OUT:

Online Dating: 8 Ways to Create Trust With Your Profile Picture

First I want to start off with your profile picture.

When I used online dating, I would come across tons of guys who totally turned me off with their profile pictures. Not because they were unattractive in their pictures but because of how overwhelming their pictures were.  There were guys on there with 800 pictures of themselves, at all different angles.  Some had 12 pictures of their dogs, not standing with them but ALONE. Others had gross pics of them with their possible girlfriend.  Why would I ever want to see that?  One even had a picture of him getting a lap dance!!!

Let me also note, that I was doing online dating to meet someone.  To have a relationship. I was not on there for friendship or one night stands.  If I was then I would have been looking with a different eye.  But I still know that all of the above would have turned me off!

The truth is that most of these guys had pretty good profiles and had they not totally turned me off with their pictures, I may have dated them.

Pictures are supposed to paint a picture of who you are and what you represent.  If you are a dog lover and have a dog, then post ONE PICTURE  of you and your dog.  Not 4!  If you are into motorcycles, great, but show me one picture of you on your bike not 20 different shots of you in a race with a helmet on.

The other important element you should consider is whether or not your picture elicits a sense of trust.  Meaning, as a woman, do I trust what I am seeing is real and do I trust that this guy is really for me.

1. Show your trustworthy family! If both of your parents were married for 30 years or more, that is great! If you both have a great relationship with a sibling, that is great, too! If you have happy family photos, you can include them as additional photos in your profile. This embeds you in the world not as an “online guy” but as a genuine human being with a family. Totally relatable.

2. Employ trust words. “Family, integrity, real, authentic, no game playing, girl next door, a best friend.” Look at the profiles of women you’d like to meet and identify her trust words. Use the best in your profile, then, when you write her, mirror them back to her if they are authentic to you, too. Remember, there is a fine line between creating rapport honestly and manipulating/fooling a girl to get something from her. It is a GREAT idea to reflect back to her the very words she uses, tradition is onto something when it endows the smile “with the power to attract and fascinate, to stimulate desire.”

3. Show a photo of you with your guy pals doing guy things – on a boat, playing b-ball, painting a room together. NOT sitting around with drinks at a club or bar patio. As I say over and over, positive guy association removes you from the stalker/lone-wolf realm and places you safely into a team of guys, implicitly already trusted by them.

4. Show a photo of you with gal pals. Not a gal pal, but some, in a social setting. If you put on a photo of you with a former girlfriend, now you’ve created a story they are going to want you to explain – you’ve lit up her imagination. But in the wrong direction. Avoid the trouble. The image – the fantasy – you are constructing the group-gal pal photo is that you are TRUSTED by other women. That they like and trust you but that you have been clearly saving yourself for right now – for this woman looking at you from the other end of the fiber optic cable.

5. Extra points! Have those gal pals be as attractive as the level of girl you are searching for. If you use them honestly.

6. Smile! You don’t have to show teeth. But give up on the sunglasses resting low on the bridge of the nose, side-glance thing. It’s very Disco Stu and it does not create trust. A nice open smile sets off a whole series of neuro-chemical reactions in the viewer. For example, a Buddha smile immediately communicates peace and tranquility. Trustworthy.

According to Angus Trumble, in his weirdly interesting book, A Brief History of the Smile, the Western romantic Because a really beautiful girl, on a gut level, will not want you if she sees you hanging out with culturally unattractive women. And a normally attractive woman will consider you a player or out of her league if she sees you hanging out with models. Plus, she will probably be insecure enough to imagine a whole scenario in which you’ve had sex with those models. Because that’s what models do, isn’t it? Ruin the lives of all the other normal-looking women in the world. So keep the girls in the photo at the level of female attractiveness you are seeking. Which means you have to be honest with yourself about what you are attracting.

7. Another bonus tip! The above lesson goes for typology as well as hotness factors. If you are seeking a sophisticate, include a gal pal photo with sophisticated women. If you want a granola chick, show yourself with your hippie chick gal pals at the local folk festival or volunteering at the organic farm. You get the picture

8. BE HONEST. So many guys lie in their profiles. In fact, it is the two biggest complaint hot women tell me, along with guys being too sexual too fast. Be honest from the start. Do it because good to be honest, it creates gain trust and it helps you authentically claim the moral high ground, which is where you want to be. Both for moral reasons and for attraction reasons.

As I said Adam is VERY experienced in the online dating world. As am I.  He has created a couple of amazing HOW TO programs for all steps of online dating.

DO YOU KNOW THE #1 SECRET THAT BUILDS ATTRACTION ONLINE?
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO FIND OUT:

One Night Stand: Women Tell All

(**To listen to me and my friend Amy discuss when women want a One Night Stand go to the bottom of this entry!)

A few weeks back I posted a blog about when women want a One Night Stand. I got a ton of emails both from my newsletter members and from blog readers like you- wanting to know more!

I didn’t realize this was such a hot topic!

As always, I dug deep and asked every single one of the women in my network about their thoughts on a One Night Stand. Girlfriends, sisters, mother, Wing Girls, on facebook, through twitter… Every female I could find and I pretty much got the same responses from all.

Out of all the women, maybe 2 had never had a one night stand BUT said they had considered it and attempted it a few times.

From the other women, each of them used the words “I decided…” when describing their one night stands. I thought this was really interesting. I mean I must have talked to at least 200 women about this and each said something along the lines of I decided.

This was interesting to me, cause what I think I discovered from my questioning was that most one night stands for women are PRE MEDITATED!!! Or at least women like to think so.

The one time I had a one night stand, it was pre meditated. I was coming off a broken heart, insecure and wanted to just DO IT cause I thought it would shake my sad feelings. Never a good idea.

I have however had multiple one night fool arounds and loved every second of it!

Why? Because it was fun, exciting, went with the night and felt really, really good!!!!

These were guys I met while I was out and there was an instant, fun and exciting connection. They weren’t guys who asked me about my job or my family during our meeting. They were guys who were light, bantery and just plain old fun! Ones who pulled me into a world of excitment and enjoyment. It almost seemed fitting to make out with them and be part of a fantasy world.

Sometimes, that is all women are looking for! A great guy to blow off steam with!

I wanted to dive deeper into this discussion of a One Night Stand so I asked my friend Amy if she would be open to a recorded discussion and she said YES!!!!

Here is just 2 minutes of our 20 minute discussion on our experiences with a one night stand, why we had a one night stand and what makes us want to have a one night stand!

Click Here To Listen To The Full 20 Minutes of our discussion of A One Night Stand!

Full version includes 2 FREE days of Virtual Wing Girl Subscription!

One Night Stand: When Are Women Open To A One Night Stand?

One Night Only: When Are Women Open To A One night Stand?

My Wing Girl Zoey tells you exactly when a woman is open to a one night stand!

I could have a one night stand, and I’m the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, ‘Do you really have to be here?’ I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more… I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don’t feel so bad about just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have… I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. – Jessica Alba in “Cosmo”

There’s a common misconception that only a wanton slut, a Desperate Housewife, or DeDe the Dogfaced Girl would be the kind of woman open to a one-night stand.  But many desirable women, Jessica Alba included, aren’t afraid to satisfy their needs with no strings attached.  Truth be told, a vast majority of women have enjoyed a single night of passionate, no rules, no meaning, simple satisfying sex.  In the past we may not have admitted, even to our girlfriends, that we’d indulged in a one night stand for fear of being labeled and judged.  But more and more women are embracing their own empowerment and sense of fun and adventure, while choosing to leave the judgments and labels in the dark ages where they belong.

We’re all aware of the stereotypes of a weepy woman waiting by the phone for her one night stand wonder to fulfill his empty promise of “I’ll call you…” or the wannabe-wife who believes a night of sex translates into choosing a caterer and color theme for the wedding.  While these stereotypes are often the antithesis of real women, their desires and intentions, more than a few of us have had her feelings squashed by that troglodyte who wrote a check his ass couldn’t (and never meant to) cash.

After a couple of these disappointments, some women determine to not be let down again by any man.  She starts calling the shots, deciding with whom and when she wants to get laid; she becomes the architect of her own experience.  Rather than finding herself panicked and lonely, the woman unafraid to love ‘em and leave ‘em indulges in a night of passion and then simply goes on leading her full life.  Presented with the choice, she turns a one night stand into an experience instead of a disappointment.

For other women, spontaneity is simply a way of life.  This type of girl grabs opportunity by the balls and rides it for all its worth.  This type of adventure-girl believes life is too short to let an exciting opportunity pass her by.  The right guy, the right place, and the chance to regale her girlfriends with another fantastic story, is too irresistible.  This is her moment to enjoy her body and her sexuality with the right person to satisfy her needs at that time.  Waiting around for a one night stand to take her out to breakfast is not her style.  For the adventure-girl, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.  Even when she’s in Detroit.

Women are open to a one night stand on innumerable occasions, each with her own reason or for no reason at all.  She might be too busy to be tied down by a long-term commitment or maybe obligations make her feel trapped.  Perhaps she’s living out a lifelong fantasy of going home with a sexy stranger.  She might be on the rebound, unready for all the banal complications that come with dating someone new, but eager to sample some fresh flavors of men.  Or maybe she just wants what Erica Jong termed a “zipless fuck”: Unapologetic sex with no stings attached, pure and free of ulterior motives and power plays.  With no emotions involved, she’s able to get out of her head and truly enjoy the chance to leave behind all the contrived rules about romantic encounters and just have wild, hot, meaningless sex.  In between searching for our soul-mate and getting our hearts broken, who couldn’t use zipless screw now and then?

Here is your chance to listen to 2 women talk about their experiences with a one night stand, why we had a one night stand and what makes us want to have a one night stand!  Listen to the audio below:

Click Here To Listen To The Full 20 Minutes of our discussion of A One Night Stand!

Jennifer Love Hewitt Wants Me…

Do Women Want Bad Boys? A Female Perspective

I have been digging deeper into the question of Do Women Want Bad Boys and I have been getting tons of responses from men and women.  I got a really interesting response from a woman named Sarah from the UK that I wanted to share with you.

Bad Boys vs. Chemistry

I wish I could say that chemistry is something that is a frequent visitor in my life. It’s not. It has arrived, maybe half a dozen times, and it is becoming more rare as I grow older. Each time the man was highly desired by more than a few women.

The chemistry was always hot, and, fortunately, mutual. It happened within minutes of our meeting or observing each other. And it never went away – on my side, at least. Yet, none of these fledgling ‘relationships’ ever lasted beyond a few days, weeks, or months.

Were they bad boys? As I look back now, I realize none of them were particularly honest, and all of them had a flock of females vying for their affections. These men were hot, and it had to do with their good looks, their smile, and their charisma. They were polished, sophisticated, and charming. It never occurred to me that they were bad, but then I’m not sure what people mean when they say women succumb to bad boys. I most certainly don’t!

If they were bad, I didn’t know it. How would I classify bad? For me, personally, it would mean someone who stole, was violent, broke the law, was perpetually drunk, abused people, and who sported all the other negative behavior patterns there are. But the term could also cover behavior that wasn’t necessarily criminal, so much as socially dysfunctional and deceitful. For instance, would I consider a bad boy a man who simultaneously took out three women at the same time, pretended he was faithful to all of them, and increasingly messed them around by not pitching for dates or letting them down in other ways? Yes, I think I would.

Would I continue to date someone like this if there was no chemistry? The first time it happened would be the last time. Would I continue to date someone like this if there was heavy chemistry involved? Probably – but not for long. Would I continue to find them attractive despite dumping them? I am ashamed to say yes. But get this straight! I did not find them attractive because of their bad behavior! I didn’t know about their bad behavior. I found them attractive as a result of their movie star good looks and their charismatic charm. Men who offend me upfront, regardless of good looks and chemistry, never get past hello.

This post was written by Sarah Lane from UK online dating site WeLoveDates.com. For more of Sarah’s writing please visit the WeLoveDates blog.

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