Marni's Wing Girl Method > Blog > Uncategorized > Tip on How To Approach Women: Announcing The Elephant

Tip on How To Approach Women: Announcing The Elephant

 April 30, 2012

OMG, have I had an amazing month. I know I said I was taking time off (and I definitely did) but I also did some really great things that will benefit you :-)

If you recall, this past weekend I was in NYC speaking at an event for 300 beautiful, single WOMEN!!! My NYC contest winner, Ron was also in attendance. Ron was awesome BTW. I taught him a new move that I call: Announcing The Elephant

More on that in a minute…

(I also got to be on ABC Radio and meet living legend Bill Diehl. Picture to the right.)

Marni and Bill Diehl ABC Radio Correspondent

I have to be honest, I was freaked out before going there to speak at this event. One of the key reasons I can understand how you feel with women, is because I used to feel the same way around women. I used to be intimidated by pretty, popular girls. Which means I put them on pedestals, was wimpy around them and never spoke my mind. Instead I aimed to please them. Ugh!!!

I was so nervous to see how they would react to what I have been doing for the past decade. Giving away ALL their secrets to men. But they loved it!!! They wanted to hear everything I have now learned from the men I work with.

They wanted to know:

- What they are doing that turns you off

- What makes you not want to approach them

- What makes you not call after you have sex with them.

- How they should behave after a date with you (text, email, call)

Above all, they wanted to learn how to meet a good guy and what they could do to make it happen.

I had a 27 year woman, tell me that she lies about going to Yale because in the past, her schooling has intimidated men.

Another woman told me she doesn’t understand why men don’t approach her (BTW she was tall, blonde and soooooo pretty). I told her she scowls which she did not even realize. Then started smiling and she lit up the room.

Another woman asked me if it’s wrong to sleep with a guy on a first date and if she does, will it mean she is considered un-dateable.

I was honestly attacked after I got off stage with question after question. Questions about you, MEN. Wanting to know how you worked so that they could get you. I was not shocked by these questions at all. Women are just as confused as you. In fact they’re downright nervous and fearful of screwing things up.

As I mentioned before, I had my NYC contest winner Ron with me at the event. Ron was awesome! He’s been studying my materials for some time now. It’s always nice to hear that my work is having an impact. I wanted to share something that I shared with Ron. It’s a move that I use on a daily basis that I call:

Announcing The Elephant

Announcing the elephant is when you literally say out loud what you are attempting to conceal or cover up. (Trying not to say)

So for example, when I got on stage to speak in front of the women I said “I’m so nervous. There are so many women”. This allowed me to no longer focus on trying to cover up/conceal that I nervous. Instead, I got to call out my Elephant!!!  Which helped me relax/focus and made the women feel more connected to me.

I advised Ron to use it when he is approaching women or even on dates with women.

For example:

If you approach a woman and forget what you want to say, you can look at her and confidently say with a smile “see what you did.  You made me all nervous and I forgot what I wanted to say.”  Gives you a few seconds to relax, breath and compose yourself.Stop wasting your energy trying to conceal that you are nervous. Just announce it!

OR:

If you are on a date with a woman you can confidently look her in the eye and say “you know what. I’m a little nervous right now.”

You Announce The Elephant and then move on! Just make sure you announce it confidently. (smirk, eye contact, body language) Announcing The Elephant can put you at ease instantly. It also can put a woman at ease.

So I want you to start Announcing The Elephant!!!!!

Tell women what is going on in that head instead of trying to cover it up.

Trust me, it will make connecting and being present a lot easier.

Overall, NYC and my month off was a huge success.

I got to relax (a little) and learn many more new things about women that I will be sharing with you soon.

  • Kevin

    What I’m finding with women online, is that they aren’t taking it seriously. I’ve messaged over 500 women and only was able to meet 2 of them in person. The others either never responded, responded then never write back or they just are looking for an email buddy, I’ve seen women online who were married “looking for new friends” and after me calling them out on it , I said “if you want friends, go to meetup.com instead of a dating site. I feel that is just giving men false hope.

    Anyway, I used to use this line in the past…

    “you know, I’ve seen you around here before and I’ve always wanted to talk to you but never have”

    Women just giggle then start talking.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Kevin

      I think dating sites work better for some guys, not so much for others. Usually being direct and getting them off the internet and onto the phone quickly is a great idea though.

      I also think that line is pretty neat!

      Marni :-)

      • Kevin

        The whole getting a phone number from a woman online is pretty easy for me. Getting them to meet me in person a different thing, alot of women tell me “Do you text? I don’t like talking on the phone”

        I feel like saying “Dammit! Let me practice asking women out!!!”

        I can’t gauge chemistry though texting, I could start texting them dirty thoughts but I don’t want them to think I’m just looking for sex which alot of them online have that guard up looking out for pervs!

        • Marni Wing Girl

          Hey Kevin

          Yes I think sending sexier messages before you’ve met them in real life is pretty risky: if you want to ditch the texting altogether though, and speak on the phone, give her a call. If she says she only texts then wait for a moment when you’ve got some back and forth, it’s going well, she’s more comfortable then pick up the phone again – which I persoanlly think is more direct and sexier for a guy to do than text.

          Marni :)

          • Kevin

            Thanx Marni!

  • Thijs

    Found this line of someone interesting: How do millionairs get money? By multiple streams of income. How do guys get a lot of girlfriends? Have multiple streams. Internet is one.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Thijs

      I do think if you want to get this area of your life to blossom that you should try a lot of different angles: approach women through your social circle, at the mall, and yes on the internet

      Marni :)

  • christofer

    Marni.

    You’re correct when you say the dating sites work well for some guys & not for others.Tall,exceptionally handsome guys in a high income bracket will meet with incredible success;as they would in the “real world”.

    However,I think that more & more men are
    realizing the futility of dating sties &
    are perhaps opting out or choosing not to
    get involved in them to begin with.Online
    dating is overwhelmingly favoured towards
    women and many will have a positive experience with it.Men..not so much.

    As for Kevin’s line….it is great…IF
    it is delivered in the right way AND to
    the right woman.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Chris

      I think if you want to reach an end goal (like having lots of women in your life) you need to try a whole bunch of approaches and find what works for you. Some guys get on really well with dating sites, others don’t. If it’s not for you, work on expanding your social circle and approaching in real life.

      Good luck

      Marni :)

  • Kevin

    Chris,

    The line works if you don’t know what to say plus it shows you are human.

    What I’ve been finding is that a lot of women are too shy to answer to a man’s profile first. I’ve also gotten complaints from women saying “your profile tells me nothing about you and it’s all over the place” despite Marni calling it amazing, Some women “get the joke” most don’t. I’ve gotten a few really great emails only to never hear back from the woman. Such is life. If I don’t get laid by the time I’m 39. I’ll just pay for it just to simply say I did it. This way i won’t be a poster child for that movie! :)

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Kevin

      I do think there are some things that will make your profile universally more attractive: BUT you can never, whether you’re a man or woman, please everyone. Good luck for the future

      Marni :)

      • Kevin

        Marni,

        I’m all ears!

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  • christofer

    Kevin

    Oh..you’re line is something that you use
    exclusively online.I mistakenly thought
    you used it in offline-settings.

    As for paying for companionship…40 yrs
    old here….and (sadly) seriously giving
    it some thought…would prefer not to go
    down that route…But…

    Good luck

  • Kevin

    Chris,

    I’ve used that line in person aka offline. always works…try it.