Why Do Women Flake On Plans?
27. Nov, 2009 
6 Comments
Why do women flake on plans?
Why Do Women Flake?
Have you ever made plans with a women and then 30 minutes before meeting she sends you a text saying “Totally forgot. I have plans to meet my grandmother and can’t make it” or “Seems work has called me in last minute. Can we reschedule?”
I am pretty sure you have experienced this at least once in your life.
I can tell you for certain that this woman did not just “remember” she had plans. She is flaking. She is a female flake.
When a woman likes a man there is no way she would cancel plans on him for something else. AND if she does cancel she will make
certain they have concrete plans in the future.
How do I know?
I know because I have done this to men several times. So have each of my Wing Girls and so have each of my female friends.
So the question is why do women do this?
Unbeknown to them, women do this because they are selfish. To avoid their own discomfort they will be polite and accept an invite with
absolutely no plans of ever following through.
I do want to add in, that this is not malicious behavior from women. It is in no way planned or meant to be cruel. Women are not
trying to embarrass you or be mean. It is simply done to avoid an awkward situation for her.
It is easier to say yes to an invite or give out a phone number than to say NO. At least that is what most women feel and what
felt in the past.
They would much rather avoid the phone or flake on a date rather than being rude and saying NO to your face.
Again, this is selfish behavior that is based in female insecurity.
Women don’t realize how hurtful these actions are to another person. They don’t realize the frustration, annoyance and hurt men
experience when they have a woman flake on them.
They think they have avoided being mean and rude when in fact their actions were actually more cruel.
Now, I am going to try to my best to teach the women of the world to be honest and say what they mean but that is going to take some
time.
In the mean time I can provide you with tips on how to protect yourself against the flakes!
These tips will help you ensure you don’t waste time, money and energy on women that are not into you.
Tip #1
Don’t Get Angry
When a woman texts you 15 minutes before your date that she “forgot” she has another obligation understand that this means she is not into you. Instead of being angry or hurt about her flaking,
feel sorry for her that she was not mature enough to be honest.
This will create a calmness in you because you will realize that this is a type of woman that is not worthy of being with you. A woman who cannot speak the truth is not worthy of your attention
nor is she mature enough to handle you.
If you like you can express back your disappointment in a mature manner that lets her know you will not accept this behavior. Again, do not be a dick but maturely express that this behavior of flaking
is not cool.
For example write something like “Totally understand that things can slip the mind. In the future it would be best to check your schedule so that you aware of your commitments. My time is very valuable to me and I hope you will respect that in the future. No hard feelings. Have fun at your event!”
It’s firm, shows you have respect for yourself and is also soft at the end to let her know you are still safe.
Hopefully she will learn that her behavior was not cool and either correct it with you OR correct it in the future. Either way a good deed has come out of the situation.
Tip #2
Don’t Leave The House Before Confirming
To save yourself a drive and possible parking fee text her before you leave your home about an hour before you are set to meet.
Say “Running about 10 minutes late. Hope that is still cool?”
This text gives her the time to take her out if she wants it. Truth is if a woman is going to flake she is going to flake but at least with this move you can save yourself time, money and energy.
Tip #3
Learn To Spot Signs Of Interest
The possible flake date can be avoided by being armed with knowing what it looks like when a woman is interested in you. I must add that these are not fool signs to look for because circumstance can
play a role in many interactions.
For example, sobering up.
Some women will only be very available to you for a single night. Meaning potential for a one night stand but no date a week later.
Another example is personal reason.
She may be on the rocks with an ex, she may be super stressed in her own life, she may be getting over a break up, she may have just been up for flirting that evening. So many reasons exist as to why
her feelings faded after an evening.
Another example is meeting someone else. Attractive, quality women may meet someone else that they are more interested in. Therefore they will now put their energy into this new guy.
The signs to look for that she is interested your sexually or for dating are:
- Making eye contact
- Ignoring her friends even if it is a girls night
- Slightly touching you (too much touch is a sign of extreme
comfort and possible future friendship)
- Engagement in conversation
- Twirling her hair
- Puckering her lips
- Going to the bathroom all touched up and looking fresh
Once you ask for the number listen for the pause. The awkward pause where she debates whether or not to give you a real number or fake number.
Most women who want you to call, if they give you their number have been waiting for this question to come out of your mouth. Meaning there should be no pause.
A pause usually translates into possible flake.
These tips will assist you with determining whether or not a woman will flake on you and will also assist you when you are dealing
with a flake.
The important thing to remember is that when a woman is a flake it is a reflection on her. It shows that she is not confident enough
in herself to give a real honest answer and is scared to look poorly in someones eyes.
I have learned my lesson about flaking and try to teach every woman I come in contact with the importance of being upfront and honest.
Again, I will do my part to stop this from happening and you can do your part to stop it from happening to you!
Marni
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Over 8 hours of hot, amazing, women telling it like it is. Get a real insiders POV into a woman’s mind!
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“Running about 10 minutes late. Hope that is still cool?”
why should the guy HOPE that being 10 minutes late to a day is okay with her or should he be punished? is she his momy? What is she gonna say “No, that is totally not cool!” . I mean it’s a freakin’ date not an investment banking interview.
“running bout 10 minutes late. should be there shortly” sounds better to my ears.
No women wants to feel like she is having a date with a child asking her permission.
since when do women ask permission? I think guys should start thinking and treating themselves like hot women do. reverse the game on them!
I found this article very helpful, especially Tip #1. Not calling her on it never felt right and getting angry freaked her out and made me feel bad too. I love the text you suggested to send back. Thanks for the article, Marni!
I have an issue with Tip #2 tho, for a different reason from Valmont’s. What if her phone is off or in her purse? I know this won’t be the case 95% of the time, but stranger things have happened. Actually it is far more likely that she is indeed on her way to the date and she gets the text and doesn’t respond because she doesn’t think a response is needed. Anyway, a guy very well might miss a date with a great woman who did show up if he uses this trick.
I want to say that I really, really like Tip #1. And it ties into something I’ve been learning about developing good inner game.
A great way to get good inner game is to make it a habit to act with self-respect and class. In all of our dealings, not just with women in dating-type situations.
This will boost you when you are in front of women in the future. See, you know women are safety-seeking creatures. You know from your past behavior you provide that safety for her. That will only give you confidence.
Anyway, relating to Tip #1, you’re not acting that way just for her, you’re acting that way for you. See you gain self-esteem and self-trust if you handle her flaking as Marni suggested via Tip #1.
Great blogpost.
I remember a female classmate of mine told me: “People aren’t always considered “nice” by being nice.
This translates into the area of flaking and “wussy nice guy behaviour”.
I recently called a guy 10 minutes before a date to push the time back, because I was running late due to personal issues. We were meeting at his shop, so I didn’t think it would be a huge deal to push the time back, but he snapped and got angry and I got scared. I went from pushing back the time, to rescheduling it for “some other time,” because his temper freaked me out. I understand that me calling 10 minutes before the date to push back the time wasn’t cool, and I apologized several times, because I felt bad and really wanted to see him, but his reaction made me change my mind about him.
That’s a no no as well. A lady is allowed to be 10 minutes late. Does not mean she is blowing you off. It actually means that she is respecting your time by not letting you wait. Interesting reaction from this man. Most likely he had been flaked on many times before and you bore the brunt.