Why Do Women Give Out Their Phone Number and Not Answer?

You’re at a bar talking to a girl you really like and think “she’s totally into me. I’m going to ask for her number”.

You: Can I get your number so we can hang out again some time?

Her: Sure.

You: Great. I’ll give you a call.

You go home all pumped up, excited, patting yourself on the back.

Then two days later you call.


Of course you give it one more try because with modern technology wires get crossed and messages get erased 😉



Why do they do this?

Why do they give out their phone number and not answer their phone?

Do they know this at the time? or do they decide later?

I have been in this situation MANY times and the answer for is usually I had no intention of ever answering the phone.

I was not interested and just being polite.

From the time women are born they are taught to be proud, polite, respectful ladies.

Ladies, who don’t tell you to your face if they are not into you. That is not polite or proper.

Instead we do it behind your back.

I have been one of those ladies many many times.

I have given my number over and over again with absolutely no intention of answering the phone.

I know it’s wrong but it’s so much easier and less awkward to give out my number then to say “sorry I’m so not into you and I will never answer my phone when you call. I do not want to go out with you.”

Listen, when I go out I enjoy talking to people.

I especially like talking with men but usually within the first 2 minutes, actually it’s more like 30 seconds, I can tell if I am going to want to see a guy past that evening. But I am enjoying my conversation with him.

Does this mean that I have to cut off the conversation with him? Should I be that presumptuous that he is into me and that I should cut it off before I hurt his feelings?

So I usually continue talking because I am enjoying myself and then the awkward moment comes when they ask for my number.

I freeze up, get nervous and give out my phone number feeling guilty the whole time.

It’s horrible, I know, but it’s what I do. It’s what all of my girlfriends do and what most women in the world do.

I don’t know a lot of women that can be strong enough to say “You know what I had a great time with you this evening but I think this is the end of the road for our relationship. It was nice meeting you. Goodbye”.

Doesn’t happen often.

So basically what I am telling you is that a number doesn’t mean a success.

The real success is when you actually get that women to answer the phone and go out on a date.

So what can you do to fight against this?

You learn about women.

You learn what they like and what they don’t like.

You figure out how to read their body language so that you know, even before they do, when they are into you and that getting her number will lead to a date or or relationship or sex.

If you want to learn all of the above then you should definitely check out The Wing Girl Methods newest program What’s Inside A Woman’s MInd?

5 hours of real women being blunt and honest and revealing what really goes on in their heads.

There Is No Other Program Like It.

Click Here to read more.

Pass this article onto your friends because this is real information every man should know.

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  • ….Or you could just not deal with the phone altogether. Truth be told, I hate talking on the phone.

    So what do I do?

    I use the phone as my way of semi-blowing off women that aren’t going to happen that night. I do a lot of screening and if I know the interaction isn’t likely going anywhere that night (yes, I’m notorious for SNLs), I get her number (mostly just to be polite) and move on quickly. No sense wasting your time! (And now I’ve switched the roles!)

    Think of it guys…of all the numbers you have collected in the past, how many of those women did you actually get into bed?

    Very few, I’m sure.

    And if what Marni is saying is true (and I think it is!) she pretty much knows within the first minute or so where the interaction is going to go. Get good at calibrating her responses and the general feel of the interaction and start screening early!

    That way you won’t have to deal with the phone at all! You can just take her home!!

    • Marni

      Adonis actually brought up a great point that I did not mention in blog. I will write another post with a deeper explanation but for now I just want to bring to peoples attention that a lot of men forget to decide whether they are actually into the women they are speaking to.

      A lot of men are so focused on the approached and the possible success of the number that they forget to actually evaluate ” do I even like this women?”

      Gotta be more connected to what you want instead of letting some woman who doesn’t answer her phone tell you.

      • bigguy

        I have like a thousand phone numbers and facebook accounts collected from girls in pubs, the street, markets, etc… I just made some calculations and in the last 3 months I collected approximately 60 numbers. I text with some of these girls, but definitely none of them are interested in going out with me… It’s so annoying, i’m not sure what my problem is, they don’t even give me the chance of a coffee together to get to know me.

        • ekaneti

          They’re cuntts.

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  • Exacerbated

    A woman could easily reply, “I’m sorry, I’m seeing someone.” or “I have a boyfriend.” Nothing impolite about that. It’s easy ladies…as you’re putting your eyeliner on, say to yourself in the mirror: “I’m sorry, I’m taken.”

    And your example of women’s behavior is very neat and tidy. What about a woman who flirts, gives you their number, replies to your calls via text, replies to your texts up until the point you ask them out—where they don’t reply at all?

    • Marni

      That is actually a really good point to bring up. I know that when I use this behavior it is because I like how it feels to get attention. Again selfishly it feels nice to have someone wanting you and YES I still feel uncomfortable saying “I’m not into you”.

      Either way these women who either give you their number and don’t answer or constantly text and don’t make solid plans are not into you. If a woman likes you she will answer her phone, respond to your texts and make plans to see you.

    • JP

      When creeps learn to take a direct no for an answer, then women will be more comfortable giving a direct no. Reading through the bitter psychos in these comments, I’m not surprised women give them their number to avoid a scene, only to not answer afterwards. They’ve dodged an abusive, mentally unhinged bullet.

  • Truconfidence

    Hey guys I am in ageement learn the body language. She will tell you if she is going to answer or not. And if she doesn’t answer ask yourself what did you do wrong to not create enough attraction to make her want to answer and are me again. True if there are some women who just like to be social and you can’t get attracted to you but for the most part I have found that it is something you did during the interaction.

    Sorry if this has been said for some reason I can’t see the other comments.

    • Marni

      Tru I am happy you wrote on this topic but I did want to comment on what you said in the last sentence. You said that it is something you did during the interaction to stop attraction. There is some truth to this but I am not sure it is phrased correctly.

      By thinking that men do something wrong during the interaction will set a lot of men back. Usually what it is that is not causing attraction is the fact that a lot of men do not have confidence or self respect. If they has both of these characteristics they would never get the reaction of the cold shoulder. BUT if they did, it would not last long because the man would walk away proud and go find another great girl.

  • Michael

    This is something that I have to work on with regards to myself, as you and I discussed via email. An example: I met a girl at a coffee shop. She let me sit at her table and we talked for a good 30 minutes. I said we should go hiking together and she enthusiastically agreed. I should have known that something was up though, when it came time to exchange numbers, and she gave me her email address, telling me that she lost her phone. But she seemed into going with me so I didn’t think much of it at the time. Anyway, I sent her a few emails and spent a good two weeks waiting for her to get back, but she never did. The best attitude for me to have would have been “Next” but I just wasn’t there yet.

    That said, I sure wish women would just get back to us that it isn’t happening. I feel that it is flat-out rude on their part for not doing so, and I guess I always will feel that way. Especially in this day of emailing and text-messaging–they can give the guy the respect of a response back without having to actually confront the guy. They can make up half-truths if they have to:

    “Hey, got your message. Thanks for calling, but I gotta be honest here. I’m already too busy, and I really am not in a place to date anyone else now. So I am going to have to change my mind from the other night–sorry. It was nice meeting you though.”

    In the meanwhile, I have gotten to telling women my ‘policy’: “OK, I got your number, and I promise to call you. But you have to promise to answer me. Deal?” Any hemming or hawing on her part? “You know what–forget it. I can’t stand dealing with flakey people. It was nice talking to you anyway.” And then walk away.

    • Marni

      I wish that every person in the world were honest and comfortable with situations like saying “sorry not into you” but they are not. It is hard to say no. It makes us feel uncomfortable. The best thing to do is just be able to pick up on the signs early so that you don’t get disappointed OR get more comfortable with a woman not answering her phone.

      I apologize for my entire gender and not having more balls 🙂

      • JIM

        I kind of like Michael’s idea, even taking it one step further, offering the Ultimate No-Fault Opt-Out:

        “Hey, is that a Real Number? If I Call, will you Answer? Because NO isn’t the Worst Thing in the World to hear; the Worst Thing is MAYBE when it really means NO. So if you are Just Being Polite, then just Tell Me Now rather than give me False Hope”

        The only problem with that is that it might turn a Real MAYBE into a Certain and Final NO. And perhaps it also smacks of lack of Confidence.

        Maybe the best thing to do is just say the first two sentences in a Teasing/Playful manner, as is “Is that really your number, or Guido the Enforcer’s?”

    • Christian Valenzuela

      this is old but it doesn’t work, they will give the number anyway to have you as an option in the back pocket, free meal, entertainment etc.

  • Michael

    Hey, I should add that I think it is NOTHING wrong with a woman enjoying a conversation with a man, and not wanting it to go any further. A conversation that HE probably started, by the way. I mean, what else can she do: brush us off? Actually, there are a lot of women who do just that–probably because they know how easy it is to end up in a sticky situation if they are friendly to guys. And guys complain about those women too, you know.

  • Michael

    And we guys do something similar sometimes. We talk to women too, not always because want something
    to happen. But because of other reasons–to get into state, to get affirmation that we are attractive (the girl we really wanted shot us down), even to be seen interacting with someone so that the girl we really want sees that we’re pretty cool as well.

    A woman reading this might think I am an awful guy, but I have done all of the above.

    • Marni

      I think this is a great point that michael brought up. I did not realize that men did this as well. It comes down to the fact that we are all human and want attention. Ultimately we want the feeling that we are attractive.

  • Romeo Montagues

    I’ve heard about “flipping the script?” Could this apply well in this situation? You give your number instead of taking her’s…maybe you tell her your not gonna call her, but then give her your number. How do/would a women respond to that?

    • Marni

      It is playful and fun but ultimately if the women is not into you it won’t work. You won’t get a call!

  • Paul

    its all bloody games. No such thing as love. Just a bunch of stroppy bitches that talk shit. Fed up with it all to be honest. I’m a good looking, fit, healthy, muscular man and I get turned down by some fairly average ladies. I even have them ignore me, as though they are superior, even though they’re average. I know this is a bit sexist, but I do think most women are a bit loopy. Now and again there are good ones, but most are a bit brainless. I bet this doesn’t get published!

    • WreckR

      Its easy to feel this way Bud but I feel you need a change of mind set.
      head out to interact with people and have a good time (then do so) and it will be amazing how many attractive ladies will show some interest. Sure some will give you the ‘tude but just blow them off.

      What Im saying is why waste your precious off time on chicks with a F-you tude anyway?

      Did you ever think you might be intimidating to them and all that tude is a defense mech or your being used as a springboard for their generally low self esteem??

  • mixmaster

    So when you call a girl the first time and she answers or even if you leave a voicemail message start the dialogue with “my friends said I shouldn’t call you but I figured I’d do it anyway.” If the girl was just giving out her number for the ego boost you’ve kinda nullified that for her because now she thinks a group of guys (your friends) think there’s something wrong with her. If she answers her phone or calls back usually the first thing out of her mouth will be ……”why is that”……to which its really an opportunity to start off with a playful conversation about some b.s. like how your friends don’t think she’s your type or she looks like she’s too much of a party girl….. whatever.

    This method won’t necessarily get you a date but it’s sometimes good to bait a girl into a conversation when she wasn’t planning to return your call……………..and obviously if you can snag a 15min talk you’re chances are better of getting a date than if she never responded.

    • Pandora

      Hey guys

      First of all, I really enjoyed to read this thread. Its always interesting to have some insight from the topic from women. I did meet a girl at the pub and we had some real good conversations together and she also taught me to dance on her favorite music. I felt that something was going on from both parts. The eyes never lie. At the end of the night, I did ask politely for her number and then she gave me a sweet kiss. The day after I called her twice, morning no answer and she picked up at night telling me she was at work and I can contact her the day after. The day after, I called her twice and sent a SMS and I did not get any feedback. What should I do?

      • Marni

        It sounds like you may have had a connection but your over eagerness was a little too much. Picture the situation in reverse. You meet a girl. Have a great night. She gets your phone number and then next day she bombards you with phone calls. Not attractive and kind of freaky right? It’s too much. There is nothing wrong with calling and trying to continue the connection but you must always be sure you are respecting yourself first before you are respecting a woman you just met.

        Think to yourself “am i calling because I want to or am I calling to calm an emotional feeling?” When you get to a place where your answer is I’m calling because I want to then it is okay to call. Acting on emotion will always get you in trouble and with women will always turn them off.

        I think you should consider this one a loss for now at least when it comes to contacting her. If you see her out and about again, you can approach but DO NOT mention the screened calls. Just start from square one. Don’t talk for too long and then walk away. If she is interested she will find you.

  • Mike

    Women try to be nice by ignoring us but when guys do the same to women, they go into a frenzy. Why do this to guys if you don’t want it be done to you. Perfect example… someone asks you a question on the street, you ignore them… how does that sound? much more likely to invite confrontation…

  • Sam

    I met a girl at a bar a few nights ago. We had a long conversation, talked for almost an hour. We definitely shared some of the same interests and I thought she was definitely flirting with me. When it came time to ask for her number I said , ‘I think you should give me your number’. She replied, ‘I should.’ And I said , ‘Why not?’. She replied,’Ok I will give you my number.’ A few moments past and as I was about to leave she said, ‘Definitely call me.’ I just called her today and she didn’t pick up, I didn’t leave a message. I got some advice from a friend that I should call her again tomorrow, and if she doesn’t pick up again to leave a message-referencing a joke or moment from the night. What do you think I should do and why would she say to definitely call her if she had no intention to pick up. That’s pretty messed up.

    • Marni


      it is totally messed up if she doesn’t answer or at least return your call BUT it’s how it works. It sucks and I hate that this is how we are, but we are. Why? Because we are polite and saying “NO” to a phone number request straight to your face is more difficult to handle then a phone call screen.

      But I don’t want to jump the gun on this and label her as scared or uncomfortable before she gets a chance to do the right thing. Call her again, run the message by me first, and see if she responds. Many people do not like to answer calls when they don’t recognize the number. Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt until we have more evidence.

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    Which post? Please re-send and I can post.

  • Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you’re being had.

  • Love your site man keep up the good work

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  • I have been reading out many of your articles and i must say pretty clever stuff. I will definitely bookmark your website.

  • John Gold

    Just save yourself any hassles and hire a hooker!

  • chris

    By doing this it shows you have no self esteem and confidence and it’s nothing but a game. How would feel if the role was reversed and a guy did that to you, it wouldn’t feel good being on the other end would it? Just be honest and a person would respect you more.

    • Bruce

      That’s why us guys need to get back to being guys. There’s a tiara epidemic out there – some of these girls need to be decrowned.

  • Big Pimping

    Hey that is why I deal with nothing but real stomp down hoes who want to sock it (money) into a PIMPS pocket. Why should I have to beg a woman for me to spend time and money on them just for some sex when I have women and recruit new women to hoe up for me, pay me and have sex with them anytime I want. A lot of girls are looking for attention, power and like letting guys down aka LET DOWN ARTISTS. Some are sincere at the time they meet you and just flake later. I just move on to the next one and see if she wants to make $1000 to $3000 a day doing what she was doing for free or for drinks, dinner and a few gifts. I get paid so I don’t mind rejection because it isn’t personal just business! Dating is for squares. Pimping and Hoeing is the BEST THING GOING!!!

    • Bruce

      Charlie Sheen couldn’t have said it better himself. I’ve learned the wisdom of his ways…

    • Christian Valenzuela

      my God.. this is the truth.

  • Frank

    Yeah yeah whatever! But if a man lied to you we won’t hear the end of it. You are a typical woman, selfish and conceited. Grow a pair and stop making flimsy excuses

  • Jake

    I have to agree with Frank and others that say it is not acceptable. I had it done to me. One with a Fake phone and one with no reply to emails. In both cases the women were given the chance to say No. I am extremly honest man (yes I know, you don’t believe me) and I never done it and never will. The idea that this is the easy way is flawed. In some cases the realisation that you were duped and not treated with the respect you deserve is more damaging. If I asked you for your number, I will call. So take the way out chance I give. Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
    Itried to order your CDs with no success

  • AmericanWhore

    This is how us western whores behave. We were all raised to think we are hot $hit and perfect 10 princesses when in reality most of us are insecure 2’s with no self esteem or we were abused as children or have other father issues, or psychological issues. We’ve also been brainwashed by western media and feminist rhetoric to believe we are men. No wonder we get f#@&ed and chucked so much and end up single moms on welfare dating multiple ex felons.Go for much better foreign women guys, western women like me are bottom of the barrel.

    • Bruce

      Or stop ignoring the nice, sincere guys ladies…you know, the boring ones who won’t call you up asking for bail money

  • I do this often. If I meet a guy on the train at a party and we talk – I may enjoy talking to him for those few minutes. If he asks for my number, I will give it just because if I say “i’m not interested” he will feel confused since he thinks I’m talking to him he must have a chance. so i give it and just dont answer or respond to his texts. A bright guy will take the hint, a dense guy will keep calling and leaving messages. I’m not a bitch or a snob. And sometimes I do like the guy at first til I go home and replay our convo in my mind and realize he’s said something creepy!

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hey Ryann

      I think this is pretty accurate of what a lot of women think: it may not be great to hear, but it is true of a lot of scenarios, so listen up guys

      Marni 🙂

    • smartdude

      but if you were happy with yourself…. you would be honest and oh a dense guy preservers through rejection….If you ran your own business you would know the treasures of perseverance…..but because you’re insecure you strive for attention that’s creepier! and stupid!.. so when i sleep with women like you…and dump your kind because you all are just money hungry whores for money and attention ..don’t feel bad for your sisters…westernized woman are soul less and worship money and because dudes like me who have money know this …..we pimp yall!!…deception is creepy….the things yall do to drive in an expensive car of for a DIor bag is ridiculous…shit is sad and hilarious at the same time.

    • FlyPrezidente

      That is pretty weak, I would much rather get rejected then you waste my time trying to be your friend and get to know you out of my time. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

    • Bruce

      Not a bitch or a snob? Actually, you’re both sweety.

  • Kenneth Rosado

    All this Drama over giving out Phone #’s and returning Calls. Give him the # and go out again, doesnt mean the #%^& going to be committed relationship of any time of casual F@#%^ing, Etc. this Article is Depressing. Why do Women go to Bars or other Social Places (Music Concert, Art Exhibit, Sporting Event, Etc) and just play with Peoples heads? If you see Guys at certain Places you like obviously you both share some sort of common interest, Right? Exactly! Women have all these expectations for Men and want Men to be Romantic, but REALITY is that Men do give more than what they get back on Romantic Level from Women. If a guy ask for your # it probably means he wants to Buy you some Flowers, Candy, Meal, Theater and maybe if YOU treat him right and not JUDGE then he might get you Diamonds (Not because he wants to Marry you, but because he thinks you are Beautiful Woman and worth it)

    • Kenneth Rosado

      You can tell the Fake Women REALLY easy because they act like their Lives are Out of the Ordinary, etc. We ALL been through shit.

      Woman act like she cant talk about Politics, Art, Science, Music, Food, Books, Cinema, Religion, Dogs & Cats, Vacations, at Goofy over Favorite Drinks (Whatever)

      If a Man offers to buy a Woman a Beer/Wine and Food then she says NO, then she an Ungrateful Witch that is not even worth your Time and Energy.

      • Kenneth Rosado

        Plenty of Diamond in the Roughs out their that are not High Maintenance Women that have better Titties, Asses and Pussies (Real Talk).

        End of Day, a lot of those High Maintenance MIND GAME playing schezers dont even know how to Shake the Booty nor Suck and Lick the Balls anyway. Even if you Spoil them to Death they are Retarded in the Sack and only Tease you to Death.

        • Stillavirginat20

          Thank you my friend, you read my fucking mind, I’m so tired of all these bitches thinking they are fucking princesses, they all live in a fantasy world. They make stuff so difficult for us men. It’s so funny that in the end, about 80% of them will suck you cock for ever if you show her the money. That’s how stupid most of them really are. Sorry, that’s the truth.

  • ekaneti

    “”You learn about women.

    You learn what they like and what they don’t like.””

    How about you learn to be an adult and say NO when you’re interested.

  • Sean

    This has happened to me. They like the attention of having all these guys want to talk to them and ask for their number. So I do give them attention. I give it to them at 3am sometimes 4am when I can’t sleep. I turn off caller id on my phone and call them a few times. I wanna make sure they get the attention they were looking for. Even if it means waking up to unknown caller id in the middle of the night. Next time if you are not interested don’t continue talking to me. Just walk away.

  • J. Wonderly

    l still think they could at least answer you. Deciding they don’t want anything further from you is totally OK. Being rude, immature and totally ignoring someone who you just led on is really, really lousy. To not even answer someone is a huge show of disrespect, as if to say ‘You’re not even worth my breath.’

  • rolfen

    That is not right because men are expected to take the initiative and risk rejection (sometimes nasty). Yet such behavior from women conveys the message that they do not appreciate these efforts at all, that they are just being nice out of fear, not appreciation.
    Basically many are spoiled and we men should stop approaching them all the tiem and being so competitive because it’s contributing to that problem.
    How about some equality?

  • HilarityBribo .

    With all the games girls play it’s no wonder there’s so many single people.

  • Seems like this was written 8 years ago. Have things changed/improved since?