As promised, here are the 10 Secrets for a Lasting Relationship (From a Divorced Guy). I’ve also posted the 10 secrets below 🙂
10 Secrets for a Lasting Relationship (From a Divorced Guy)
This list is borrowed from an amazing article that one of my clients sent to me and it was written by a newly divorced man named Gerald Rogers.
He wrote this wonderful list of 20 pieces of advice he wished he would have had years ago that could have saved his marriage.
I cut his list down a little to 12 pieces of advice, just to give you what I thought were the most important.
I’m just going to read his list verbatim, because I agreed completely with his list.
And why change perfection.
Please keep in mind that this list is for men BUT all women should have their own lists of rules to follow if they want a loving, healthy relationship.
1. Never stop courting
Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted.
When you asked her to marry you or be in a relationship with you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it.
This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU.
Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2. Be there for your woman and don’t try to always solve. Just be.
When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok.
Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean.
The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out,
and as you remain strong and un-judging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET.
Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
3. Be silly…
don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
4. Fill her love bucket everyday…
learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED.
Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
5. Be present
Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul.
Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER.
Treat her as you would your most valuable client.
6. Be willing to take her sexually…
To carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength,
and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul.
Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
Alright this is where I needed to add my 2 cents and paint a real picture of women and sexuality.
This was a little too flowery for me.
And as a woman, when I think about the kind of sex that is missing from most long term relationships, it’s NOT flowery sex.
It’s the sex that existed at the front end of a relationship. The desire driven sex that tells a woman she’s wanted and sexual.
Here’s the deal. Women want sex.
AND women in relationships want even more sex and to be seen as the sexual creatures they are.
That means that you not only have to love and respect them BUT you also have to show her she’s wanted and desired on a sexual level.
NOT a sexual vessel which is what tends to happen. But a sexual, sexy, feminine creature.
7. Be vulnerable and fully transparent
You don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
This is how you get close and make her feel special. Let her into your world and she’ll let you into her heart.
If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING…
Especially those things you don’t want to share.
It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds…
Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light.
DROP THE MASK…
If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
8. Never stop growing together
The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool.
Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship.
Find common goals, dreams, new hobbies, adventures, experiences and visions to work towards.
9. Forgive immediately…
and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past.
Don’t let your history hold you hostage.
Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back.
FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
10. Always choose love
ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE.
In the end, this is the only advice you need.
If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your relationship.
Love will always endure.
In the end relationships aren’t about happily ever after.
They’re about work and working together.
A commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity.
Through that work, the happiness will come.
Embracing all of the cycles, the ups and downs and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
He finishes with saying this.
These are lessons I learned the hard way.
These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward.
MEN – THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER.There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from.
Be the type of man your woman can’t help but brag about.
I loved reading this.
You may or may not have someone special in your life right now.
But this list is the key to having a successful long term relationship filled with happiness, sex and love.
I’ve included a PDF of this list in the description box below because I want you to always have what I’ve told you in your back pocket.
Whether you have just started a relationship or are deep into a long term relationship or no relationship at all.
This is truly the key to happiness.
I don’t want you to go through what this man went through. Learning way to late where he went wrong, when his relationship could have always been saved.
Here’s another question I’ve got for you.
Do you want to be the type of man who can do the 10 things I’ve listed without feeling like a doormat or a wimp or a pushover?
The kind of man that women crave, desire and brag to their girlfriends about?
Luckily for you, you don’t have to go through years of trying to figure out how to connect with women or waste time meeting women who you’d never have a connection with in the first place…
Because I’ve created a training program that can help you create trust, connection and intense love with with any woman you damn well please.
It’s called: Beyond Attraction:
I’ll guide you step-by-step through the methods you need to communicate with, that not only attracts them,
but also creates a deeper level of intimacy and connection that’ll make you irresistible in her eyes. (…and hands)
Briefly, here are some of the things you’ll learn in this program:
- The honest truth about what women think and how they want to connect with you
- Real-life conversations, mock misunderstandings, and the reality behind the typical things women say and do
- Proven methods to naturally connect with women through every phase of the relationship – from the conversation to the bedroom to marriage. (if that’s what you desire)
- Strategies on how to understand and connect any person of the opposite sex so you’re more charismatic, likable, and a joy to be around
- The doctor-created A.T.T.U.N.E Method that shows you the science behind what women want to in every step of the relationship so you know your next move
- How to give women instant ‘gaga juice’ – the secret way of attracting her in seconds and literally making her go gaga over you (…she’ll be telling her friends all about you too)
Get All of this and more by going to winggirlmethod.com/beyondattraction or clicking the link below in the description box.
And I plan on putting it at its valued price of $197, especially since I let a few guys test it out already and the results have been phenomenal…
But for a limited time only – you can have it for only $24.99.
That’s less than the price of an overpriced meal at your local restaurant…
And you can find learn everything you need to know about creating and keeping that intoxicating feeling of connection and trust that women crave.
What I share in this program will help you unlock so many sides of your woman that she won’t be able to control how much love and love making she’s wanting to give to you.
To learn more go to
http://www.winggirlmethod.com/beyondattraction or clicking the link below in the description box.
I’ll see you next week