Sexual tension… it can sound like such a mysterious thing. What exactly is it? How can you create it with a woman? How do you know if you’re doing it “right”? One thing’s for sure: It is a necessary component in building and achieving desire with any woman you have your eye on. Here’s what you need to know…
Here’s a great question one of my readers sent to me yesterday:
“Hey Marni, I’ve heard that I should be trying to create sexual tension with women. But can you tell me why this is so important and how I can actually create it? Thanks, Brad.” Understanding how sexual tension works is one of the best ways to become better with women.
Because without sexual tension, you might have a fun conversation with a woman, but it’s unlikely to go any further than that. Think of sexual tension as the energy that exists between two people compelling them to have sex… When the energy is low, you simply don’t feel a strong sexual attraction towards them.
But when that energy is high, you just want to rip each other’s clothes off and release all of that built up tension through sex. This is what women mean when we say we feel a lot of chemistry with a guy. We’re largely talking about feeling a high level of sexual tension with him. It’s that feeling of anticipation where we think something sexual could happen — and getting turned on by that prospect — without it being certain.
Let me give you a really quick example of that. If you’re on a date with a woman and invite her back to your place “for a glass of wine and to watch a movie”, we know that it’ll probably lead to sex. But you haven’t mentioned sex directly, which maintains that sexual tension.
Whereas if you instead ask her to “come over so we can bang”, it kills all of the tension by directly stating what will happen. There’s no more anticipation about what MIGHT happen. So when you meet a woman, you want to work on building up the sexual tension… and not releasing it until you actually have sex together. And the more tension there is, the more passionate the sex will be.
Now that you know WHY sexual tension is important, let’s take a look at some ways you can create it.
Touching is very powerful, as it releases dopamine and serotonin, both of which make us feel good. The key is that it needs to be pleasurable touch, and not something perceived as a threat. So when you touch a woman, you want to keep it non-sexual and non-invasive. (Obviously I’m talking about before you sleep with her.) You can do things like touch her on the arm when making a joke, take her hand to look at a ring or bracelet, or place your hand on the small of her back to lead her through a crowd.
Keep your touch shorter to start with. As she becomes more comfortable with you then you can let your touch linger a bit longer, as well as touch in other places.
For example, if she starts touching you back, that’s a sign you can move forward. If you’re sitting down together, you can try touching her knee during a high point of the conversation. If she responds well to that, you can gradually touch her leg higher up, to the point where you let your hand rest on her thigh.
It’s all about paying attention to see what she’s comfortable with. But when you gradually increase the intimacy of your touch like this, it creates a ton of sexual tension.
#2 Strong eye contact
When you can hold our gaze without looking away, it makes us melt. There’s just something about a man who can penetrate us with his gaze that makes us ponder the other ways he could penetrate us. But when you dart your eyes away, or regularly break eye contact, it makes you seem weak and afraid.
It also breaks any connection that might exist, which stops the sexual tension from building. So practice keeping your eyes locked on ours and it’ll pay huge dividends.
#3 Think dirty thoughts
Dirty talk is great when in bed, but before that it can kill the sexual tension. However that doesn’t mean you can’t THINK dirty thoughts instead. The reason this works well is your face will typically reveal what you’re thinking. Not the specific thoughts exactly, but more the emotions that you’re feeling. It’s like if someone feels anxious and scared, you’ll see it written all over their face.
The same way, if you’re feeling turned on and picturing doing dirty things with us, we’ll pick up on that vibe. Not only will that make you appear more sure of yourself, but it’ll usually lead to us thinking dirty thoughts as well. When you combine this with the type of strong eye contact I mentioned above, the sexual tension will be through the roof.
Now, those are three ways you can create sexual tension without even saying a word. But if you want to take it to the next level, then knowing what to SAY to create sexual tension is critical. And that’s what you’ll learn inThe F-Formula, my in-depth training program on how to flirt with any woman.
It gives you the power to create white-hot sexual tension so you can start sleeping the women you really want.
The last female friend you’ll ever need,