Okay, so what makes a woman want to date a man? What's the most important factor? What move for this connection building with women that are proven to work?
Recently, a study was conducted at the University of California, Davis to answer this question. They analyze 6,600 speed dates that they set up and discovered that a feeling of connection was the number one factor that determined if a woman wanted to go on a real date with a man after the experiment. It wasn't attraction, perceived popularity, status, or anything of that sort. It was the feeling of connection which you can also call chemistry or compatibility that made the biggest difference.
Now, as a woman, that doesn't really surprise me very much. I understand the value of a strong emotional connection and how much we women rely on it when choosing someone to date. However, most guys have no idea how to create a solid connection with a woman. Especially in a short span of time. So that's why I want to show you four simple moves to create the sense of connection or chemistry that will allow you to land more dates with women of your choice.
If you apply these four moves in your first interaction with a woman or even on a first date, she's definitely going to want to see you again. So here are the four connection building moves that you should use.
Set a Playful Tone to Start
Playfulness and humor bond people faster than anything else. But most guys don't take advantage of this. They treat a conversation as an exchange of logical information. I call this exchanging data points.
- So where are you from? I'm from Wisconsin.
- What do you do for a living? I'm a sales manager or I'm an accountant.
- What do you like?
It's boring, it's data points, it's robotic, and it goes on and on. This is again… boring stuff. No woman who has a conversation like this with a guy will think: “Oh my God, I hope I see him again. He's so dreamy.”
So instead of focusing on a mere exchange of information, you gotta start focusing on having fun and being playful. Especially during the early parts of the interaction and there are two easy ways to do this. So you first answer the basic small talk questions you get at the start of the conversation in a silly or absurd manner.
If she says: “So what do you do?”, Instead of answering logically which is “I do this”, you can say: “Well, I just quit my day job to be a full-time male stripper. I think it's going to work out quite well.”.
Or she asks: “Where are you from?”, you reply to her with: “Well, my mommy tells me that I'm a gift from God so Heaven. I guess so.”
This is not overly witty expert comedian-type humor. It's just being silly with her. It's something for her to remember afterward. Nothing not taking anything too seriously. Not only will it make the woman laugh which is a great thing but it will immediately set you apart from guys who keep giving boring answers to these basic questions.
So after cracking the joke, you can go ahead and give a serious reply. But adding humor early in the conversation will always serve you well and plant the seeds of connection because it gets people to drop barriers. You can also give silly sarcastic or observe replies to her answers.
So let's say she tells you she's a lawyer, you can say: “Oh, a lawyer, I guess I gotta be careful of what I say around you. Don't let me drink tonight.”
Or if she tells you that she's from Tennessee, you can say: “Oh, so you're a musician, huh? Can you write me a nice little love song?”
Again, like these aren't good, but just do something that is not the norm. It's all about letting loose and saying silly things. And trust me, it will make an amazing impression on the woman and she will start to feel that chemistry with you because she's dropping that guard and making her like just be different with you and having a connection.
A practical exercise you can do to start building this habit is this. So start answering the first question you get in an interaction in a playful manner just like with everybody. Or you have a playful reply to her answer. Either of those works but get in the habit of adding humor to a conversation early on.
Open and Expand
While playfulness and humor are always appreciated in a conversation and can like to open up a woman to more connection, it doesn't always mean you have to be fun and funny. You can be serious too. Especially if that's who you are. In fact, you have to be at some point. However, guys make a big mistake in this department as well.
As I mentioned before, most guys treat a conversation as an information exchange, and with that comes the awful habit of answering questions in an extremely short logical manner. So question, short service level answer followed by a question for her. This doesn't create any chemistry or connection. If you do this, you'll very soon find yourself asking her question and she will feel like she's being interrogated which is not good and that's not good for you either because it's boring for you.
So if you want conversations to flow more naturally and create a connection, the best thing you can do is practice. Giving more expansive answers and replies usually injecting emotion into them.
“So what do you do for fun?”
“Well, I like to go bowling with my friends on the weekend. It's a great way to make sure we hang out at least once a month. Plus I'm a really competitive guy so it's a lot of fun for me to play against my friends. It gets really competitive at times. Let me go crazy.”
See how different that is from the common conversation. It's giving more of you. This gives so much more insight into your personality which is crucial for bonding. You reveal that you're competitive, you have friends, and you're giving her a lot more. Even if I personally don't like bowling, I can relate to the fun of doing something with my friends, being competitive, and so on.
Not only do you show your personality, but when you give expansive answers, you also become relatable to people regardless of their personal experiences or references. You start to connect with your values and emotions. And that's the real basis of a solid connection. It's the sub-level.
So learn to give expansive answers and you don't have to go on a super long monologue like I'm giving to you but just push yourself to open up more and give more
than that one sentence. So try to talk at least 10 to 15 seconds longer than you normally would to give her more. So this is going to make the conversations flow easily and spark a real connection.
Use Warm Platonic Touches
This is literally the easiest way to build trust and connection. But again, most guys don't take advantage of it like 99% of guys don't take advantage of it. If you've just met a girl and you want to add some warm platonic touches into the early interaction, you can do a handshake. You can do a high five, resting your hand on her shoulder to get her attention. There are so many ways to do this.
It's one of the best ways to connect with anybody but specifically a woman, you need to use this tool to your advantage and you need to start early with your touches. The longer you delay, the more awkward it's going to feel for her and for you. So I would say touch her at least once within the first 10 to 15 seconds of conversation and this could be a simple handshake. But just do it, do something. Get in the habit of initiating touch early on. It's going to help you more than you can imagine.
Be an Exceptional Listener
Once you get the conversation going and you see that she's opening up to you, it's extremely important to be an amazing listener. Women absolutely love the feeling of being fully heard and understood. Plus you want to get her talking. So like this is great and being a great listener will make her feel that way there are two easy steps to being a fantastic listener.
First, when you're talking to her, give her your full attention. Nothing feels more annoying or insulting than someone looking around and visibly not paying attention when you're talking. So face her, look at her, and give her your full attention.
Second thing you can do is this. Encourage her to elaborate or expand on what she's talking about. Let's say she says she switched schools a lot when she was growing up, you can encourage her to expand by saying: “Oh, you know, tell me more about that. What was that like?” That like encourages her.
If she's telling you about a great vacation she took recently, I don't know like Barcelona, you can say: “Wow, that sounds nice, tell me more about that.” Trust me, she will absolutely love this and love you for this. Everybody loves this. This phrase tells me more is literally a cheat code if you use it when a woman has already started opening up to you. This will speed up and strengthen the connection like crazy and she will be eager to spend more time with you because she'll feel more connected to you. She's being heard.
And that said, we have reached the end of our list of connection building moves. However, there's one last point that I want to make. And so while these moves are incredibly effective and will make women want to spend more time with you, there's one more thing you need if you want to take things to the next level with her. Whether it's a date or just attraction sexually and that's flirting.
Flirting is the one move that not only builds connection because it's playful and fun but it also creates sexual tension which you need in every interaction which makes it easy for you to go from hello to a date to the bedroom. Because the urge to release all the sexual attention is what leads to physical intimacy. This means if you don't know how to flirt properly like most guys, you're gonna always struggle to get to that physical intimacy part.
And that's why I recommend you to check out my F Formula. It is a simple 3-step method of flirting with women that we developed over a decade ago. The program has been tested on over 8,000 women. It builds chemistry, it ignites red-hot sexual tension that women simply can't resist. Put the F Formula to the test in your next conversation with a woman and watch how she gets hot for you.
Thousands of my students have already used the F Formula to attract and date amazing high-quality women. So there's no reason why it won't work for you. Plus it is so easy that you can master it over a short weekend. So all you have to do is click here to check the F Formula and see it for yourself. I am sure that you will love it.