A lot of men are constantly asking me “How do can I escalate from friends to sexual attraction?”. Escalating is easier than one might think. All it really involves is believing that you are sexual and stating your intentions. The difficult part is actually believing you are sexual and having the confidence and comfort in yourself to actually display your intentions. 
Quick lesson: If you want to be seen as a sexual option stop presenting yourself as a friend or a suck. Be straight, direct and confident in the way you present yourself.
I have written you a piece that will help you show a woman you want her sexually without being aggressive or an a**hole.
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Article
What can be said about sexual chemistry between men and women? Is it just a myth or is it a magic bullet aimed straight at the heart (or elsewhere…)? Some couples say when they met they had “instant chemistry.” So what exactly does this mean? Is sexual chemistry a simple biological process or something more complex, a layering of mental and physical attraction, body language, and ancient love juju?
Ancient love juju aside, sexual chemistry is actually based on a kind of unconscious perception and interpretation of someone’s appearance and behavior. Huh? Simply put, we are constantly scanning the opposite sex for signs of interest and compatibility. When we project the right signals, we are able to attract the objects of our desire.
For example, if a man projects a vibe of independence, seems to be happy, and appears to know what he wants, this triggers arousal in women. “At first sight” he is providing enough evidence for a woman’s desire to be stoked. Suddenly she sees him in a more sexual way, based entirely on her perception of him as strong and independent. It also doesn’t hurt that when a guy appears sexually exuberant, he gives a woman the impression she’ll have a satisfying experience with him.
Men so often suppress their sexual strength and assertiveness as a result of past rejection; they get caught up in their own fears, trying to second-guess what women want. These guys appear weak and inhibited, and, on an unconscious level, women see them as being “too feminine.” Who wants to share in a guy’s weakness or have to fix it? Either way, the sexual chemistry is ruined.
So, how can a guy amp up his ability to create hot sexual chemistry with a woman without having it blow up in his face like a bad science project?
- Be aware of the kind of vibe you are projecting. Are you coming off as confident, carefree, and fun or an emotional drag?
- Pay attention to the subtle signals she’s sending you. Is she leaning into you and smiling or sitting back with her arms crossed over her chest? It takes two to make chemistry happen, so be responsive to her vibe. A little attentiveness can go a long way.
- Don’t second-guess yourself. Retreating inside your brain to battle your insecurities takes you out of the moment and is a sure way to kill chemistry.
- Be direct and confident. Looking into her eyes and smiling while you talk will make you appear assertive, enthusiastic, and sexy.
- Don’t fear rejection. Relax! Remember we are constantly projecting signals. If she picks up on how tense you are, she’s likely to tense up, too.
- Make her laugh. Light sexual innuendo is a great way to lighten the mood and convey your attraction.
- Don’t be afraid to let her know you’re interested. Women can sense it, anyway. It’s chemistry, stupid!
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The important notes to take away this article is to be proud and confident in what you want. If you want to sleep with a woman don’t try to hide it, show it. Not in a sleezy, gropey way but in a sexually strong way. The way that gets women turned on in 2 seconds by presenting them with a man that knows what he wants and can lead. How sexy is that??!!!
Answer: SO SEXY. Trust me.
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Thanks for the compliments, Marni! Right back atcha. 🙂 Last night I had an opportunity to witness sexual chemistry at work. I was at a book signing and, when a girlfriend went to buy her book from the cute guy behind the counter, the chemistry was palpable. It was like there was an electric current running between the two of them that EVERYONE in the vicinity was aware of! He even offered to “carry her purchase to her car for her” — seizing the opportunity and appearing chivalrous in one fell swoop. I have yet to talk to my friend today to see if he sealed the deal with a number or even a date after they walked out to the parking lot, but I’ll keep you posted.
Would love to hear the outcome from that situation. Did it look like your friend was bubbly and attracted?
She was definitely energized by his attention and subsequent actions. And she basically melted before my eyes when he offered to carry her purchase for her. Any man can make googly eyes at a woman, but this guy took the initiative to take the obvious sexual chemistry between them to the next level. I’ll definitely let you know the outcome — I’m as curious as you are!
What you should ask is What made HER attracted to him? “The vibe” goes both ways. Obviously it’s easier once the chemistry is there, but how to spark the woman’s attraction? Ah!
Zoe let me know her friend is coming over so we will get first hand interpretation.
Wanted to post for Jordan from Art of Charm. For some reason he can’t post on this site. Here is what he had to say.
Let me pre-empt the classic argument that the guy was being ‘supplicative’ by offering to carry the bag(s) back to the car. Chivalry is only approval-seeking if it’s done to curry favor with a woman. If it’s done because the guy actually ENJOYS being masculine and being a masculine presence in her world, then it’s actually quite a different animal.
When I’m just out and about or with a woman on a date, I actually enjoy driving, leading, making certain plans, making decisions, opening the door for people, helping around the house, etc.
Just as women are biologically programmed to nurture and have an actual NEED to do so, men have a natural inclination to be a provider and protector which we should not hide.
******
LEADING is sexy. VERY SEXY.
Hmm great question, Greg. My friend’s popping by for lunch this afternoon, I’ll ask her your question on your behalf. She’s a little shy but I’ll find out if she’s even willing to answer you personally on this talkback section. To be continued…
LOVE what Jordan said about chivalry and I LOVE men who view their masculinity this way. SO SEXY.
He offered the 1950’s equivalent of ‘carrying her books home from school’ ???
haha
Big Daddy
PS Hope she agreed to go with him for a malt at Arnold’s Drive-In next Saturday after chores! lol
For the record, guys like Big Daddy who have learned to CONSISTENTLY TRIGGER sexual arousal in TONS of women, (not all, that’s a MYTH, but LOTS & LOTS) the palpable ‘ electric current’ you’ve described is a virtual everyday occurrence.
We DON’T therefore supplicate w/some ridiculous offer to help her carry a couple 2lb books to the parking lot!
To the contrary, we put the onus of doing something about these ‘obvious to everyone in the vicinity’ feelings ON THE GIRL.
True enough, sometimes they don’t. C’est la vie! Our all important egos (don’t EVER underestimate them) hgave been stroked and are now even more primed for the next lucky girl . And no heavy lifting was required.
And trust me SOME girl will respond. Usually they are clumsy, awkward and obvious – girls, esp beautiful ones, are HORRIBLE at pick up because they never have to do it. But, once she puts her neck on the chopping block first, it’s so easy to go in for the close and SHE will be the one that’s grateful, relieved and ecstatic about the next step in the relationship.
In doing so, you’ve continued to escalate HER nascent sexual interest instead of being just another phone number/30 min of her time seeker. He was at work, he’s not exactly gonna start making out w/her in the pkg lot if he wants to stay employed. (Big Daddy knows this first hand, he was FIRED for doing just that to a chick in a similar situation when he was employed as a bouncer. Most sting-less firing I ever endured! haha)
Anyway… Guess what? She knows where he works. So, she can come visit him again. And just showing up the next time to say Hi is all a person using The Big Daddy Method needs to THEN go ahead and close the deal.
She does all the work, which makes her more invested and thus even more interested. Big Daddy just continues to enjoy life while the girl thinks about how to get at him until she decides to take a chance and make at least the first 1/2 way move in his direction. Usually only fine girls will be willing to do that since they are pretty confident the guy will respond. Thus they not only do all the work, albeit awkwardly, this method also usually serves to self-select the hottest chix.
That’s how it’s REALLY done. No net, no wingmen and sorry, not even any wingGIRLS required.
Whoooooooooo!!!
Is the big daddy method about confusion because I am completely stumped on this one. I really have no idea what you said for men to do.
Not sure how “big” you can be, Big Daddy, if you consider carrying a book to be “heavy lifting”! 😉 But I agree with Marni here – your method is really confusing. First you said hot girls are the worst at picking up on guys since they never have to, but then you said you just wait around for girls to do all the work of hitting on you, relying primarily on fine girls sine they’ll be the only ones willing to do that. Must get pretty boring waiting around for something that, according to you, never happens to happen!
Seriously, though, did you read the article? I’m saying it takes two to tango. When the guy at the bookstore offered (obviously unnecessarily) to carry my friend’s purchases to her car for her, it was an extension of the chemistry and flirting that had already been sparked. Making out in the parking lot with her may have been your M.O. but, in this case with this particular guy, it was a very smooth way to confirm his interest in her in a very confident and cute way.
And yes, I’ve now confirmed, they exchanged digits and have a plan to grab drinks together this weekend.
advice in article is too generic
particulars on techniques of escalation would have been more useful
work backwards from the outcome & show the person multiple techniques
ppl need to see the end result, flex their mental muscles then master a couple techiques otherwise a man gets confused & doesn’t build heuristics of successful behavior
Joe, I think you are asking for a real life example.
I was spoke at Vince Kelvin’s Seminar the other day on this very topic and was able to help an average guy find his inner sexy and turn me on. I swear, one little tweak and he was able to turn me on and cause butterfly’s in my stomach.
He was able to do this because he finally stopped thinking about HOW to make a situation attractive and focused on how attractive he was by LEADING me to attraction. I told him to own his body and own what he wanted me to do and believe I would follow.
He said “Hi, come sit down I want to ask you a questions”. I followed, not because I was trying to be nice but because his energy and vibe showed me that I should follow. He then started talking to me and about Wing Girls and slightly touched the two rings on my finger, because he wanted to NOT because I allowed him, and this made my stomach turn in a GREAT WAY not in a bad way. He held eye contact with me the entire time and was totally comfortable and confident with his actions. Mainly because he was going after what he wanted and what he wanted was attraction in both himself and in me.
Everyone in the room gasped. I swear because they could feel it too.
I really hope that men can understand that the 1,2, 3 steps for stirring attraction really starts with step 1 of a man believing he is attractive and going after what he wants.
If you want to be seen as a sexual, attractive option you have to present yourself that way.
I think I’d have to write a book, Joe Mamma, in order to cover all possible scenarios and outcomes. While I agree that each scenario has its own particulars, that’s what Marni’s one-on-one sessions are for!
My article is meant to give an overview of how sexual chemistry works along with seven basic suggestions to keep in mind to make it work for you. I wanted to keep things simple; when we’re in the heat of the moment, it’s easier to recall one of seven touchstones to keep us self-aware and projecting the appropriate signals to receive the responses we desire.
If you’re a guy who’s beyond that, say, a biophysicist in the realm of sexual chemistry, then good on you! Share some of your stories with us. 🙂
You’ll get used to Big Daddy and his trademarked ASSembly line…
hahaha!!
Who is Big Daddy?
No one really knows….Internet troll…but truth be told, he can be rather amusing at times…
Once again, Big Daddy’s novel unique and revolutionary approach have stirred up excitement on the blog of someone attempting to teach pick up.
Well, before i’m branded a Troll for DARING to disagree with the posters sentiments (and I can already hear the countdown 10…9….8…7… haha) allow Big Daddy to Break.It.Down!
Not sure how “big” you can be, Big Daddy, if you consider carrying a book to be “heavy lifting”!
Notice her VERY first instinct was to make a cheap shot personal attack. And not only that – a not-too-thinly-veiled small penis joke. (which I’m sure she’ll deny)
Wow, it wasn’t too difficult to expose her core, huh? I don’t do long distance AMATEUR pyschology online but I’m sure others could have a field day with this first line alone. haha! (BTW, just because I don’t do it, doesn’t mean others won’t. Watch and see…. 🙂
“Your method is really confusing.”
You know ladies, I didn’t exactly SPELL out my method in all it’s GLORIOUS details.
I gave you a couple snippets that were applied to a particular hypothetical encounter.
To suggest my method is ‘confusing’ based on a fragment or two is a little like saying
one’s description of a breast is confusing because at one point described them as white and fleshy and at another point, saying they have this sweet pink pencil eraser quality!
How UTTERLY confusing.
Or should I say UDDERLY. Whoops! Sorry, couldn’t help myself, girls. haha
“First you said hot girls are the worst at picking up on guys since they never have to, but then you said you just wait around for girls to do all the work of hitting on you, relying primarily on fine girls sine they’ll be the only ones willing to do that. Must get pretty boring waiting around for something that, according to you, never happens to happen! ”
Yes, life can be lonely AT THE TOP. haha
To clarify, it IS true that hot girls are HORRIBLE at pick up if you judge them on anywhere NEAR the criteria by which we evaluate men’s game. And the reason they are horrible IS INDEED because they basically never have to. The guy is always jumping the gun and they can just sit back. However, the EXCEPTION is for those who use The Big Daddy Method. In this UNIQUE exception to the rule, girls – esp very hot girls DO open you up and that’s how Big Daddy knows how HORRIBLE they are! haha
Capice? Anyway…
It obviously doesn’t matter if they’re horrible as Big Daddy is full of grace and compassion towards those stumbling, bumbling, nervous awkward SMOKING HOT BABES and reaches out his hand of support to help them along the way.
But only ONCE THEY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE…or to be perfectly clear since there’s so much confusion apparenlty, make the first 1/2 move.
So, I agree w/ your idea that you may be waiting a long time if you just wait for hot girls to randomly approach you. But, here’s how it plays out in REAL LIFE.
They sense that connection, much like you described in your bookstore scenario.
They then EXPECT Big Daddy to make a move – you know – tell them they’re beautiful, ask for their digits, offer to carry their PURCHASE TO THE CAR – You know TYPICAL pick up lines! hahahahah
But Big Daddy does NONE of that. And that’s where it gets interesting.
I’m not sure if you actually READ my post (sorry, that’s sooooo rude. Wait…that’s exactly what you ACCUSED ME of! haha) but in my post, I mentioned that sometimes girls will do nothing in response. They’ll just walk away…down the corridor…into the shadows…..out of your life….never to be seen again… forever and ever.
Like I said…C’est La Vie. (Only I think I spelled it right the first time! lol)
But some girls, who rarely if ever have had to do this, will be so intrigued (and that’s the operative word…Big Daddy is INTRIGUING…even you er…Wing?…girls will have to admit that…and that’s just from your on-line interactions!) that they will try, for PERHAPS THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR HOT 21 yo Life, to INITIATE something.
This has happened to me COUNTLESS times. And I’m gonna give you some examples. Every guy who understands women will know I’m telling the truth.
In a dance situation, they won’t necessarily ask you to dance. The less-than-hot will, but the super hot? Hardly ever. What they WILL do is look at you, then if that doesn’t work, prance back & forth in front of you, and when EVEN THAT doesn’t work they will then stand next to you to make it very easy for you to ask them.
At this point, even BIG DADDY has to do some work. But, they’ve made it so obvious, so easy and so effortless, it SEEMS as if they are picking YOU up. And it’s confirmed with that Big Smile she has on her face when you ask her. That’s called the Big Daddy S–T Eating Grin! 🙂
You do have to move fast though as, in the case of very hot girls, some CLUELESS SCHMUCK (iow, someone fresh off a $2,500 PUA bootcamp! haha) will invariably jump all over her and force her to shoot him down. Can be quite messy for a few minutes as he starts crying like a baby in front of you both! lol
So now you’re dancing and you work your Big Daddy magic. It’s pretty much game on.
It’s in non-dance situations where they really reveal how AWFUL at pick up they are. Once they realize you’re gonna leave and not say anything they’ll ask you the most RIDICULOUS questions.
I’ve been asked by a hot ba at a Kroger’s where the napkins were in plain sight of 2-3 Kroger employees who actually might KNOW where the napkins are! haha
I’ve had girls literally start revealing all kinds of WAY TOO PERSONAL information to me seconds after I just met them. I know girls undersand why they do that, it’s an attempt to SIMULATE closeness w/someone they WANT to be close to, but trust me it seems VERY WEIRD to guys. but again, Big Daddy is very forgiving – in direct proportion to their hotness level of course!
Many other things….I’ve posted them on my Twitter as soon as they happen, but the problem is that I have like SEVEN THOUSAND updates and even Big Daddy doesn’t want to weed through them all! lol
They’ll ask you for directions to places you know they know how to get to…They’ll say they want to discuss your views on some topic you mentioned in passing you know they could care less about…They’ll ask you where the best place to find a used car is…(not kidding!) I’ve heard them all. Like I said, if a guy pulled the same stuff, he’d be laughed out of the male race. lol
I think my ALL time favorite was when my hygenist (at the Dental School) told me that she needed a patient to work on to help her pass the boards and I was just the PERFECT candidate! Now, unbeknownst to her, I’d been asked to do this before and the typical protocol is for them to PAY you like $75 – $100. It’s a win: win cause they get someone to help them finish up and the patient gets paid for coming in and enduring whatever. lol
But instead she told me the deal was that, in exchange for offering myself for her boards test she would pick me up at my home, take me to the clinic, drop me off then later take me out for dinner AND drinks. As if that was standard operating procedure.
Now, far beit from Big Daddy to not help a struggling dental hygenist from getting certified! lol
“When the guy at the bookstore offered (obviously unnecessarily) to carry my friend’s purchases to her car for her, it was an extension of the chemistry and flirting that had already been sparked.”
Ignoring your rude & insulting comment that preceded this, yeah, I got it. And my point was that he should NOT have.
” Making out in the parking lot with her may have been your M.O.”
Actually, I said just the OPPOSITE. But who’s keeping track at this point, right?
‘In this case with this particular guy, it was a very smooth way to confirm his interest in her in a very confident and cute way. ”
And I’m saying it was not smooth but absurd and that he should have waited.
See, we disagree. Let people decide for themselves.
You presented your opinion. I presented mine.
And I did so without once insulting your intelligence or making cheap ‘BIG’ jokes. It’s really not that difficult to disagree without making passive-agressive attacks. You should try it.
Sincerely,
Big Daddy
Yeah, I’m THAT good…
“I’ve now confirmed, they exchanged digits and have a plan to grab drinks together this weekend.”
Wow! A happy ending. Just like in Pretty Woman. And likely every bit as true…
Big Daddy. I still have no idea what you are saying. Not sure if this tactic for attraction. I mean you are getting my attention and zoe’s and now Liz’s but none of us are turned on by you at all. We are biting yes but not in an intrigued, sexual way but in a “what the hell is he saying kind of way”.
Still very baffled! EXTREMELY CONFUSED
Uhmm, Big Daddy seems to be what we call in England, a “tosser”.. a legend in his own lunchbox.
An individual so in love with his own reflection that he is convinced all others are also so affected by his countenance.
The defensive tone is a dead giveaway that he would be an absolute nightmare in logical debate.
No, his “teachings” are very muddled & unclear..
Dull dull dull.
Ending with “You should try it” is a massively passive-aggressive tone.
This man lacks self-awareness.
Wow, and then he answered my question…I think…still confused but I’m pretty sure underneath the filler BD is posting on Marni’s blog that his technique is better than Marni’s, to which I ask, Dude, are you always this tacky? How’s that working out for you? 🙂
Anyway, thanks for posting this Zoe! I have so many guy friends and clients that are stuck in the friend zone and when I ask them to break down their interaction with the woman, it always goes something like this…
“Well, we had lunch/dinner/coffee/some other activity and I was waiting and trying to see if we were going to be friends or something more…”
Ok, STOP! You’re the man. You don’t wait and try and see. You initiate!
Oh and if you don’t want to make a move because you don’t want things to get weird, um, well, too late, because things are already weird, since we women know when you like us and we think it’s WEIRD that you won’t make a move it you do.
So throw her up against a wall and kiss her already. That’s how my man went from Friend Zone to dating me. 🙂
and I can vouch for that. Liz is speaking the truth. Be the ALPHA, be respectful but be the ALPHA.
Liz actually said to me last week, and I agreed, that in our friendships with males over the years we would have totally shifted from friend to sex/relationship if our “friends” would have just ALPHAED up and took charge.
Amen sistah! Being the alpha is HOW the masculine respects the feminine. 🙂
Liz, you’re my new hero!
I have a few “friends” who need to be thrown up against something and kissed! And, ya know what ..? I’m going to do exactly that!! Let the consequences be damned! lol
ya’ll are great. I’ll let you know how it works out. But I already know. It’s gonna be GREAT.
FANTASTIC topic, and great info!
TA
Who is this guy? Big Daddy?
You just lost me…I gave up reading your posts. Are you sure you belong here? Why would anyone sign off as:
Big Daddy
Yeah, I’m THAT good…
One word for you…You’re a TOOL
Sorry Marni had to say it!
Rey
You are awesome Rey. I stopped reading his mile long post 1 sentence in and then got completely confused.
me 2.
I can attract all women in a place by just my energy alone. The thing I am struggling with is knowing what to do. do I just say “hey lets f***”” when she approaches me? How do I lead her from wherever we are, lets say we’re both working, to another place to do that? and can i possibly stretch it out so her anticipation rises and so I dont feel used?
I heard that there is some kind of window of opportunity I have to get into? Like she is flirty with me without any words. We are vibing sexual energy back and forth, again no one’s said anything yet. And then she bumps into me. IS that my cue to finally say something to her or she’s moving on? [i waited two weeks to ask a girl out and she kindly rejected me but i think she still stares at me a lot] Asking her out too soon would have also been a disaster becuase there wouldn’t be enough flirting back and forth yet.
So when is the right time, it’s really hard to know, it may be best for me to not care and just let things happen naturally and it’s happening don’t run away.
I mean, so much pressure, can’t these girls who all want me take it easy? Geez
Also one more time, I usually say “hey” with a smile and if she is interested she says hi back sexy like. After that nothing happened. Why? Should i have said “give me your number so we can go out this weekend.”
Or something like that, direct like you said above.
Seth,
I love that you are initiating conversation and obviously getting a flirty good response with women but it sounds like the energy is ending there. You have to continue leading the conversation after the intro and not just jump into want to bang?? Some girls may respond well to this but they are usually a certain type also looking for just sex that night. Totally fine if that is what you are looking for.
Are you looking for sex, make out session at a club or a date with a girl that is potential dating material?
Seth
YOUR COMMENT:
Like she is flirty with me without any words. We are vibing sexual energy back and forth, again no one’s said anything yet. And then she bumps into me. IS that my cue to finally say something to her or she’s moving on?
The way you describe this interaction sounds like she is into you, most girls who want a one night stand are ready to be taken, they don’t say much but they display themselves to you by being more flirtatious, touching, huge hints of sexual energy. This is where you have to take the LEAD…lead her to a place where you can be sexual.
MARNI’s COMMENT:
Some girls may respond well to this but they are usually a certain type also looking for just sex that night. Totally fine if that is what you are looking for.
Seth it’s about what you want and being direct on what you want. Sounded like this girl wanted to be ravished by you. But I don’t know the whole story to determine that.
If she was a girl that wanted conversation and talk a lot of wanting to know you, then she’s probably a girl who wants a date or maybe a relationship. Again it comes down to what you want.
Remember this:
Girl who doesn’t talk much but is highly sexual = One Night Stand
Girl who requires conversation and flirtatious = A date or Relationship one day
In any case you still have to take the LEAD.
SETH you just answered your question:
It may be best for me to not care and just let things happen naturally and it’s happening don’t run away.
The First Chapter: They Meet
I heard there are a lot of questions about my latest read (pun intended). I shall call my bookstore guy “Boris”. When I got to the counter I immediately noticed Boris’ demeanor. He was very personable and outgoing. As he rang up my purchases he kept me in conversation about the reading and he filled me in on some upcoming events at the store that he was sure I would like. He seemed really enthused to get me back to the store and whether it was for business or pleasure, I just didn’t know. But then I picked up on the way he continually held my gaze. He has these bright green eyes that just seemed to linger on mine, and I think it was that eye contact that made me really aware that he was attracted to me. From there it was a lot of flirting and subtle movements – the way his hand brushed mine when he gave me my change. When he asked me next to walk me out to my car, I couldn’t refuse! And like a seasoned Wing Girl, Zoe fell behind to look over a book that caught her eye. What happened in the parking lot? I’ll never say. Only time will tell if Boris wants to continue our story…
– Jess
“I stopped reading his mile long post 1 sentence in!!”
“Who is this guy???”
“Not sure how “big” you can be, Big Daddy!”
“Your method is really confusing!!”
“Must get pretty boring waiting around for something that…never happens! ”
“Did you READ the article???”
“Are you sure you belong here?””
“Dude, are you always this tacky?????”
“What the hell is he saying???”
“NONE of us are turned on by you at all!!!!!”
“One word for you…You’re a TOOL!!!”
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Wow!
Big Daddy sure seems to have inspired a whole lot of …er…pleasant thought from…ahem…secure…people?
haha
Big Daddy
Striking with a HOT iron…
You showed us Big Daddy!!
Oh! so you changed your sign off name?…Better than the last one. You’re improving lil grasshopper!
YOUR COMMENT:
Wow!
Big Daddy sure seems to have inspired a whole lot of …er…pleasant thought from…ahem…secure…people? haha
No Dude! It’s hilarious! You’re actually entertaining us!….we need a CLOWN like you to make a complete ASS of himself when he doesn’t make sense at all.
Great article!
This whole debate as to whether he should have ‘helped her carry her books’ seems to me to be pointless minutia. What he was really doing was creating a situation where it would be socially appropriate for him to get her # (without him risking getting fired). I’m betting that he didn’t even carry anything, except his phone to get her #.
Sometimes the girl will make the next move, often she will not, expecting the guy to do so. Waiting like that is risky.
“Waiting like that is risky.”
Yup. It is….
Whooooooo!!
Big Daddy
Now, you’re starting to get it!
Big Daddy I think I really like now. I have no idea what you are saying but it’s funny.
This post is fantastic! It’s been said repeatedly, but when we lead, assuming the woman will follow, and take what we want because we want to, bam- attraction. Love this shit… Your new wing girl kicks ass! Now… you said she’s hot too. I’d like to see a picture.
My new Wing Girl is awesome!! Glad you liked the post Dwizzite!
Yeah Dwizzite, LEAD!
Yeah Marni what’s up with that?! LoL 🙂 Where is a picture of your crew? Zoe welcome!! Looking forward to your post and interacting and being a part of it. Thanks Marni you’re awesome too! You’ve gone so far w/ your blog and I love it!
Big daddy you are saying a lot and I am not sure I agree or know what you are talking about why don’t you present some videos. All you are doing right now is interupting a great thread.
Marni love the thread there are somethings I would love to say but I want to articulate it properly so I will think of how to do that.
Zoe welcome to the community. If you keep posts like this up I am sure you will definatly help us go far. I look forward to hearing more.
Big Daddy is the truth. nice advice my dude
Surely, what we can take from Big Daddy is that the best way to spark attraction is to speak in the third person. Have you considered starting your own pick-up community, sir?
Great article Zoe and Marni thanks.
This article was written by Ana!
Are u sure?
You know what you are right. I thought you were commenting on another post. My bad 🙂
it’s cool.
Great work, Zoe and Marni! its a classic but simple article, just gets down to the point. I had a question though about my situation,
Well it’s a long story but if you are willing to hand out your opinion, would be great =)
It involves me, my friend Mary and a guy who was also my friend named Bob. Well we knew each other through high school. Me and Bob were more familiar with each other than either one of us with Mary. ANyways high school ended and before colelge began Bob offered me rides to college because i didnt have a ride. So i went with him to college and i used to be with him most of the time, we would jus chill in the college hall. As the first sem went on, half way into it, he started to meet Mary and since Mary was with him I would talk to her as well. Mary and Bob got closer with each other. I did too with Mary but not as much since I wouldnt be in the Hall all the times. Anyways it was fun, us 3 always foolin around (in a good way)..i would joke alot…
One day (still the 1st semester), Bob tells me that Mary likes me. I asked him how do you know? he says what if i can prove it.. i said just drop the subject….(i wasnt interested). Later i got a lil bit of a hint that either Bob and mary are really good friends of possiblity there might be more. So anyways one day Me and Bob after college went to some restaurant and were just talking and Mary’s name suddenly popped up. He told her shes cute n stuff. SO i told him yeah she is and she is nice got a good personality and i would go out with her also. He was like ok ill try for u…. i didnt say anything to him after that..then i went home and agreed to it…
What happens is the sem ends and behind my back (i dont remember if this was like a few days before me and Bob went to restaurant where Mary’s name came up or a few days after), Bob gives Mary a letter where it says “dont u want a gimme a chance, have some1 to share all ur secrets with, etc… and in the end he wrote swear on me that you wont tell J…” (she denied him but she did not tell me anything..me n her werent that close)
I did not know this at that time.. But anyways over the break Bob went out of country and then me and Mary got closer. (Bob didnt want me and mary to hang out..cuz he told me to wait until he gets back) but he knew we went together to the gym. Anyways Bob came back and said ok lets try for u.. but when he came back he started acting weird… so i got the idea (Bob made me feel) that Mary didnt want to talk to me. So i just let it be, i stopped trying to talk to her..tried to avoid her and everything. I was gettin a little pissed off at Bob as the sem started cuz i started to catch his lies n everything…
(at this point i was still goin to college with him but i finally got my license right when the sem was about to end)
anyways later near the end of that sem me and Mary talked to each other one day and we figured out everything Bob did so we decided not to talk to him… and instead me and Mary decided we will go to college together in summer. So we did, we got closer than ever.. she had never been this close to anyone and same went for me. We got very close and basically over the whole summer..I guess Bob was angry that i didnt take him to college (because he did a favor on me the whole year before). I was pretty sure he knew why, and i wanted him to talk to me about it but he didnt, inside tho it seemed to me he was only mad that Mary was talking to me and not him.. Anyways me n him didnt talk much over the summer. But he texted Mary sometimes and bothered her plenty saying “why are u not the same” “you have changed”..etc….
so she asked me if she should talk to him? i told her..go ahead..(who am i to stop that)…
summer came to an end but next sem started (3rd sem).. Bob was in one of my classes…we sat away from each other and didnt even say anything when we saw each other. The whole sem we didnt talk but things were okay between me n Mary except i stopped being “normal” with her even tho i still gave her rides… because i found out that she was with Bob and one of his friends in the library atleast 3-4 days outta the week. anyways she found out that Bob was using his friend (who was friends with Mary for a long time) to get everything out of Mary’s mind because she wouldnt tell Bob exactly why she wasnt normal with Bob.. She got angry when Bob told her thats what he did..so they didnt really talk much. In the same week (last day of sem) Bob gave me a message and said that “he had no regrets with me but only thing i did was that i didnt give him a ride and he was angry at that… but he regrets what he did” i didnt reply…i waited the whole break…
Over the break though, Mary and Bob got into arguemtn (online) and Bob made her pick saying “if you wanted to be with one of us Me or J, who would it be”?) she said she didnt think of us like that..so anyways…they stopped talking cuz he always bothered her in that sense…
break ended and i replied to Bobs message, saying that he regrets w/e’s done so iits good…
Anyways Me and Bob would only say hi when we saw each other.. and slowly talked a lil more (i was jus saying it for the heck of it…jus actin)… i told everything to marY… me n her got even closer and then Bob accidentally started talking to Mary and they decided they will talk a lil bit…
i couldnt bare it that Bob started acting weird whenever i came outta class and saw him and Mary talking for a lil bit..so I told Mary that hes acting weird…and i feel that hes doing something to try and mess up mine and her friendship… So finally i told her..ive been pissed lately and I TOLD HER my feelings… and she said she needed time to think…even tho i didnt ask her out (just wanted to inform her)… anyways later on for the first time me n her got into an argument because she started actin weird one day at the gym and Bob was there too..so i messed around with Bob (took his phone and called her when she went home because Bob did this to me in the very beginning of college*he always wanted to go thru my phone to see if i was talking to her or not*..i wanted to teach him a lesson)…
i felt weird the whole night.. called her up the next day and she told me what did u want to talk about..so we talked and got into a lil argument i told her i felt weird about all this..so i told her and then she told me she didnt have feelings for any1 but only that she was closer to me than him. she said dont wait for me but i told her if u do get them tell me?…we agreed. i told her i will try to get over it..
time went by and i saw her going to library with him again.. she was trying to hide it ….so i told her not to do that so she said she will tell me next time…
anyways it happened again and i just stopped calling her…and didnt even talk to her the whole next week (last week of 4th sem)… she called me asking if i was mad i said noo, just tired n all… she called me again after like 5 days and same question…same reply..and then a week later online…she asked me again.. i told her i was mad and she was “testing” me if i would act diff…(that was bs)
so she told me that o few days before she had gone to gym with BOb (she has no car) (and the day before Bob asked her that he would get her a hoodie from six flags but she said she would pay for it) but then after gym Bob told her to go to his car for the hoodie. so they went and he asked her a question “whats up with you and J” she said “idk he just stopped talking” and she started crying….she cried alot so he hugged her (she said it was jus a hug so she let him since she was crying) but then WHILE SHE WAS CRYING he tried to KISS her… so she said she backed up..and then went home even tho he wouldnt let her get out of car at first…
(all of us come from a conservative somewhat traditional culture..so its a not a small thing) i asked her to let me talk to him and she said noo..its ok..”shit happens, people just need a reason to act” (he had tried to touch/feel her hand before many times and
anyways she told me and i told her wow…and she promised me she wouldnt go to his car again.. but as summer classes came along…she told me she will come 2 days with me and the rest 2 days with Bob… i got pissed..i was somewhat mad but still normaly… then over the sem i saw them talking in library one day and she tried to HIDe it again…
so i told her to talk to me..after a few weeks she finally came out…(i didnt wanna talk to her while i was drivin..and only have like 10-15 mins)…
we talked i told her this is why i been mad .. that she had told me plenty of times that she wouldnt go abck into his car… she said yeah it was her fault… so still things werent normal cuz she didnt even call and only time i called was when i picked her up for college..so i called her out ONE MORE TIME….and one day she could finally come out but i couldnt go out so i told her cant…some other time we’ll talk… basically summer ended
all of us transfered to a diff school near by (we all transferred the to same one but its a big school)… she texted me a week before next *5th* sem started and i asked her that i can pick her up..she said she will let me know if she needs a ride…
then didnt talk till about a month into the sem and she texted so i told her “wanna talk?”..she said yeah..thas why i texted..then she thought that i didnt wanna talk but i told her i wanna talk…ur the one who doesnt come out.. lot of the sem went by…and she kept on procrastinating.. and i felt she didnt wanna talk and she felt the same way about me..but finally we met..we talked… i told her everything..and she said yeah its her fault..
what i told her was that how can she go back to talking to him..after what he did..she told me she had changed..i told her you told me that right before he tried it on you in the car…and she said yeah your right..
then she said things like shes trying to avoid him at school (but he gives her a ride to school most of the days?) she said that hes not over her…so she is literally trying to find a girl for him so he forgets her…
anyways supposedly things were back to normal..but didnt feel like how it was normal between us a while back… so the thing is that i know that Bob still talks to her.. and basically a friend of mine saw Bob and Mary in the mall a few days ago together… (just proves that basically shes not avoiding him)..
So idk what to do? we started talking a bit more just recently but any tips or ideas plz let me know…
btw we are all in our break now..and me and the other guy just dont even talk no more..cuz Bob jus stopped saying hi suddenly back in summer..).. anyways Mary just got herself a car just now!
Thing is what bothered me the most was all this drama stuff..it messed up my health before..im gettin back on track (got an injury lol..)… and the fact that she wasnt str8 forward with me….
what to do to change her mind about me? and how do i talk to her?
Is there any chance of us getting back to normal as how we were about a year ago?
And what to do about the other guy (i can just kick his ass…but it would just cause more drama for the girl and its not worth it to me that much..)?
Also, its possible the other guy and her may carpool with each other? should i do anything? if so, what?
I dont have those strong feelings for her right now but it can be because im not as close to her again..because i know when i start talking to her..they will get stronger..cuz sometimes i still wait for her to call me?
Thanks for reading my long story, if u want more details feel free to ask..its a very complicated story..! Please if you can help, would be great 🙂 Thanks guys!
Hello Marni,
How can a man build chemistry with his partner of 8 years, when chemistry really wasn’t there from the beginning? Is it still possible?
Of course. It takes time, cooperation and communication.
If you want further assistance and step by step directions on how/what to do, Email me at marni@winggirlmethod.com.
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