Do you find it hard to approach women? Let's Make It Simple!
Do you get nervous or anxious at the thought of approaching women, and starting a conversation?
Well, you’re not alone.
Pretty much every guy I’ve ever coached has struggled with this issue.
Plus, to this day, guys write to me about their approach anxiety, almost daily.
I’m going to share with you a simple, 3-step strategy to beat approach anxiety, every time you encounter it.
If you understand and follow these 3 steps I’m about to reveal, you’ll have no problem walking up to the most gorgeous women, in any environment, and starting a conversation…
EVEN IF you’ve never done it before and it scares you to death right now.
Here are the 3 steps to beat approaching women anxiety…
Step 1: Reanalyse The Worst Case
You see, the biggest reason you feel anxious or nervous before approaching a woman is the fear of rejection.
But, is rejection really as scary as you think?
I mean, let’s look at how rejection might play out.
Let’s say you're approaching women at a coffee shop.
You start a conversation. Maybe you talk to her for 5 to 6 minutes. Or maybe you talk to her for only a minute.
Whatever it is… let's say you then ask her for her phone number…
or tell her that you’d like to take her out on a date.
And she tells you “Sorry, I have a boyfriend” or “Sorry, I’m not looking to date anyone right now”… or something like that.
What happens now?
Well, you could simply tell her…
“Alright, no problem. Take this as a compliment. And have a great day.”
And you walk away.
This means if you really look at it…
The whole act of rejection is like 30 seconds of discomfort. Nothing more.
She tells you she’s not interested, and you say “that’s alright” and walk away.
This whole part of the conversation will take about 30 seconds, max.
And then it’s over.
Now, let me ask you this…
Is 30 seconds of discomfort really something to be afraid of?
Or, are you more than capable of going past it?
I believe it’s the latter.
AND is 30 seconds of discomfort really worth missing the opportunity for an amazing, beautiful woman to say yes to you??
I think not.
And you should remind yourself about this every time that fear of rejection creeps in.
Step 2: Downsize The Task
So on top of worrying about rejection…
Most guys put a lot of unnecessary pressure on themselves… which makes matters worse.
When most guys think about approaching women…
They’re not just thinking about the approach.
They’re actually thinking…
They need to walk up to the girl… start the conversation… say something good… not make a bad impression… not be creepy… be funny… be interesting… and walk away with the girl’s number and a date.
That’s SO MUCH pressure!
Of course, your mind’s gonna freak out.
The human brain isn’t built to focus on so many things at once.
Multitasking or focusing on many things at once… is a proven trigger for stress and anxiety.
That’s why you need to downsize your task. And focus on one small thing.
My best advice is… just tell yourself you need to walk up to the girl and say something. Anything.
If you’re wondering what’s the perfect thing you could say, don’t.
Because there is no perfect thing.
You can’t possibly make a girl like you with an opening line.
I repeat you can’t possibly make a girl like you with an opening line.
I mean, people hardly even remember the first thing a person said to them.
It’s not nearly as important as you may think.
The only purpose of a conversation opener is to get the ball rolling.
You could go to a woman and say
“Hey, I saw you walking by and I think you’re gorgeous. So I wanted to come over and say hello.”
Or, if you’re at a social gathering, you walk up to a girl and say “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m John (or whatever your name is)”
In fact, even a simple “Hi, how’re you doing?” can do the job and get the conversation started.
Point is, don’t worry about the opening line.
And more importantly, don’t focus on too many things at once.
When you see a girl you like, the only task at hand is to physically walk over to her… and say something simple.
Now, before I move on to step 3, I have a quick favor to ask.
If you’re enjoying this video so far, please give it a thumbs up.
Not only will it make me feel great, but it will also help this video reach more guys who struggle with approaching-women anxiety.
So take a second and hit that like button below.
I’d really appreciate it a lot.
Alright, moving on to the final step…
Step 3: Accept The Anxiety
You see, there’s a big myth out there that most people, consciously or unconsciously, buy into.
The myth is that anxiety is bad.
That anxiety stops you from doing what you want.
And that’s why you need to get rid of it before you’re able to proceed.
But that’s not true.
Anxiety is not bad. Neither is it good.
It's just another emotion you're capable of feeling.
Anxiety only becomes an anchor when you engage with it.
When you focus too much on your anxiety…
When you worry about it…
Or, even try to overcome or “get rid” of it…
That's when anxiety gets power over you.
That's when it starts to hold you back.
And you freeze up… or your mind goes blank… or as the psychologists say… you choke under pressure.
But, here lies the solution as well.
You see… if engaging with anxiety gives it power…
…then, all you need to do to “beat it”…
…is let it exist.
You do not engage with it.
You let your body feel the anxiety, just like it feels any other sensation.
And you go on to do whatever that you want to do, regardless.
I mean, no one is handicapping you physically, right?
You can still move, breathe, talk, and do anything you like.
So it's that simple.
You don't fight with anxiety. You don't try to overcome it.
And don't worry about it.
You simply accept it. And LET. IT. BE.
As you do, something magical will happen.
In a very short time, your body will wash out the anxiety, by itself.
It's an automatic biological process.
You don't need to pump yourself up or do affirmations or anything like that.
Just let the anxiety be and proceed to do whatever you want.
It will vanish by itself.
Alright, now let's bring all of this together and see how to combine these 3 steps in real life.
Let’s say you’re at a park.
And you see a stunning girl… sitting on a bench… by herself.
As that anxious feeling starts boiling up within you…
Your first instinct should be to take step 1.
You remind yourself what the worst outcome can be.
And that is, you’ll have to endure 30 seconds of discomfort. That’s it.
That should calm your anxiety quite a bit.
The second step – you downsize the task.
Instead of focusing on multiple things to accomplish…
You tell yourself the only task at hand is to walk over to her, and say something simple.
Doesn't have to be clever or witty… in ANY way.
That should reduce the anxiety even more.
And finally – Step 3 – you accept whatever anxiety is left.
Don't try to overcome it. Don't worry about it.
Anxiety isn’t bad.
Nor does it handicap you physically.
Just let it be, and you can go ahead and start a conversation with the girl.
If you’re wondering what to do after you get consistent approaching women…
Then you'll need to learn, how to continue the conversation and make sure it’s fun and interesting…
Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.
And in it, I reveal the #1 thing you need to do…
…to have amazing conversations with women – without getting stuck in your head or running out of things to say.
Once you know how to do this one thing…
You’ll never worry about keeping a conversation going.
You won’t even THINK about what to say and what not to say.
You’ll be able to have free-flowing, fun conversations with women, in literally any situation.
The words and topics will come to you instinctively.
And you’ll also come up with jokes, stories, and witty remarks, on the fly – even if you consider yourself to be a dull and serious person.
What this one simple thing can do for you is truly remarkable.
Like I mentioned before, it’s a very short video.
And if you’re someone who struggles to talk to women – this could change everything for you.
Check it out now.
I believe you’ll find it very useful.
And as always, I’ll see you next week.
Marni AKA Approaching Women Wizard!