Does it ever seem to you like men are the ones who have to put in all the effort to attract and get the women they want, while the women seem to just sit back and pick their eligible suitors? It can be frustrating, I know. Let me explain to you why this is NOT actually the case, and why the men who understand this get their pick of women…
When it comes to dating, do you ever feel like you’re putting in a lot more effort than women? Like you’re trying hard to improve yourself… Or learn more about women and what they want… But women aren’t doing their part in return? This is an issue that bothers some guys, as evidenced by this email I received:
“Hey Marni, I’ve spent the last 4 years trying to improve myself with women and become more attractive. I’ve bought some products, read tons of books about women, and even been on a couple of bootcamps. While I’ve had some success, it feels like I’m working at this way more than women. Where is their contribution? What courses are they studying to understand men better?”
It’s actually a fairly common complaint from men who spend a lot of time learning to be better at dating.
So I wanted to give you my answer here… Which will also help you attract and connect with women more easily. First off, even if it SEEMS like we’re not trying as hard as you are… Believe me, that’s not the case at all. If anything, we’ve probably spent way more time trying to figure you guys out than you have trying to understand us.
From the time we first enter our teens (and even before) we’re discussing with our girlfriends how to get the attention of the boys we like.
We’re reading magazines like Cosmopolitan and soaking up the advice on what men really want. And we’re practicing our flirting skills with the boys who have the guts to come and approach us. (Click here for more info on how to approach us the right way.)
Plus, there are many women who buy books and courses, or go to seminars and retreats, all aimed at helping us attract and keep the man we want. So in that sense, we’re really not all that different to you… However, our role in the mating dance is typically more passive. In other words, we’re wired to try and attract YOU into making the first move, rather than being the aggressor ourselves.
Because of that, some guys don’t notice all the effort we’re putting in… Such as our lifelong dedication to trying to appear as attractive and desirable as possible. For you!
Hair. Makeup. Clothes. Shoes. Nails. Beauty salons. Waxing. Lingerie.
All these things require time and effort — and sometimes even great physical discomfort. (Go get your man bush waxed sometime if you want proof!) Now, here’s the lesson for you in all of this:
Instead of getting caught in the mental trap of who is putting in more effort… Try having some empathy for women when you approach and talk to us. (FYI I also tell women this same advice — to empathize with guys when they get approached and appreciate that it’s not always easy for you.)
When you come from a place of understanding that we basically have the same desires, needs and fears as you… It’s easier to let your guard down and genuinely connect with us in that moment. And when we get approached by men that understand this, we can feel the difference.
Instead of bringing any baggage, negativity or expectations into the interaction… You’re simply being present with us and letting us experience your authentic masculine energy.
So if you’ve ever wondered to yourself, what the hell does she see in THAT guy…
This is often a big piece of the puzzle. Best of all, this is something you can learn how to do… and experience a huge difference in how women respond to you.
So if you want to discover how to develop this type of presence when approaching women… As well as the specifics of what to do and say to create that magical spark right from the get go…
This is everything you’ll ever need on how to approach women the right way, no matter the situation. It’ll completely remove any guesswork over what to say and do… And help fill you with the charisma and confidence that create we can’t resist when guys approach us.
The last female friend you’ll ever need,