Do You Have An Emotional or Mental Block that is stopping you from getting what you want with women? You may not even consciously know that you have one, but if you are having troubles with women, there may be one that is lurking some where inside you.
I just saw this amazing breakthrough on an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker. NOW, I am NOT a fan of Patti's style, but she did something really amazing on her show when she sent her client to go see Dr. Nicki.
Dr. Nicki is a therapist who specializes in getting to the root of any issue at hand. For this guy, it was fear of commitment. He was unable to stay in a relationship longer than a year and a half and he was not sure why. Literally within minutes (or at least 2 hollywood minutes) Dr. Nicki was able to crack the code and figure out WHY he was experiencing this fear.
He had been abandoned by his father at a very early age and was fearful that someone (a woman) would repeat that behavior. So to protect himself, he never allows anyone get close to him.
This guy had NO idea that he was carrying such heavy baggage from his childhood around with him. What's worse is the fact that it has stopping him from connecting and getting into any kind of amazing or long-lasting relationship.
My husband had a very similar experience. He used to think that marriage was the first step to divorce. So in his mind, if he and I were to get married, then it would ultimately ruin our relationship and we would divorce. BUT his ultimate goal was to have a family. So he was torn. He finally did some work on himself, similar to the work in the video, and changed his story.
He changed the story that he told himself of “Marriage = Divorce” to “Marriage is about commitment and love and Marni and I will work really hard to keep our marriage strong. I believe in us, I want a family, and we can make this work.”
Minor tweaks in the stories that we tell ourselves can alter the way we move forward in the world. I call this “re-framing” and it has been popping up a lot lately with the clients that I work with. Many of them have these horrible stories that they tell themselves every day.
– I'm horrible with women
– I have no idea how to talk to women
– I am a bad lover
– I am bad at relationships
I believe that if you do not talk nicely about yourself, no one else will. Therefore, I provided each of my clients with the assignment of re-framing what they say to themselves and saying it out loud for one whole week.
Instead of saying:
– I can't approach women in public.
They would say: “I feel nervous about approaching a woman in public but I know that I want to so I am going to go for it. It will not be as bad as I am imaging it to be”.
Simple little tweak, but awesome and very beneficial!
1. Think about the stories you tell yourself every day that may be holding you back from getting everything you want with women.
2. Re-frame the story so that you have a more positive attitude about it.
3. Re-tell yourself that story every day for the week!
Your mind is powerful and just as Dr. Nicki said on the Millionaire Matchmaker: “Imagination is limited by your experience.” Genius!
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