As I always say information is key and recently I was challenged to elaborate on the information that I provide.
You may or not know but women like to be challenged so I was more than happy to accept! This challenge involved me digging deep to really understand, as a woman, the energy that I respond to from men.
About a month ago I got an email from one man who had purchased The Wing Girl Method best selling program How To Become The Man Women Want where I reveal to you the top characteristics a man must possess in order to attract a woman and then I provide ways to gain these characteristics.
This man, who I will refer to as X, had told me that the information he received from the program, How To Become The Man Women Want was priceless but it left with 1 question about presence. He wanted to me explain this presence that I kept referring to that women fall head over heals for.
After his request, and my completion of his challenge, that I realized how valuable this information was to other men so I wanted to share our email correspondence where I explain exactly what women are looking for in a man. Below is the email from X. He really got me to dig deep and I know this information is the exact information you need to truly understand what women want in from a man.
Question from X:
On Oct 29, 2009, at 7:19 AM, X wrote: Hey Marni, Here's a question about looks: If looks don't matter that much to women, but everyone -man and woman alike- wants a good looking girl or guy... I'm confused, so, for a woman, what is the point, or the deed, or the key or whatever, where the woman stops looking at what he looks like, and starts to like him for who is inside. More so, what must the man be like, act like or do, in order to take attention away from the way he looks and turn a woman's attention to his character, of course, not in a manipulative way? And yes, i know confidence, proactiveness and fun will all be there in your answer. Be your best self advice is also way too generalized for me. I know I'm being picky with the answer i haven't even got yet. Plus, I'm making it harder for you to answer, so I'll make it easier for you to answer this question. And you don't have to answer this question but you're a woman so I have to ask... So, here's the question anyway! What would make you forget about how the guy's looks and like him for something he's got inside or something he does or it's just the way he expresses himself, what does it for you, and what would make you say, 'wow, it's so not about how he looks'? Thanks
X Answer From Me:
From: email@example.com Subject: Re: WGM Become the Man Women Want Date: Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:29:53 -0400 X, I totally get your frustration because some of the advice that most people dish out seems general and there is no WHY behind what they are saying. I am going to try to break it down for you the best way that I can. For me, yes, looks are what initially catch my eye. It's easy to spot pretty things and the truth is those pretty things can bring great disappointment when they don't work as well as you think they should. BUT a pretty thing can be over powered by quality in a matter of seconds. Once you hear and feel that something is quality, that THING starts to become appealing. I would like you to go out to the mall or somewhere really social and notice the way that people carry themselves. Take a look at really attractive people and people who are unattractive. I am sure you will spot some people that you typically would not give a second look to with a powerful presence about them. That presence is what I am talking about. That is what is sexy. It is the perceived notion that something is quality! By being confident, proactive and fun you can build up your inner core so that you can display this type of quality to others and it will be a real quality. A top machine that can produce better than some silly little
produced in china that looks amazing but falls apart after the first time you use it.
I hope that makes things more clear.
Let me know if you want me to elaborate.
On Oct 29, 2009, at 7:20 PM, X wrote: Hey Marni, Yeah, I totally understood what you said in your email. If you could elaborate on that 'presence' that you are talking about? - that 'quality'- because that is exactly what I'm trying to get at! Can you describe what that 'presence' or 'quality' is for you; what it feels like or how or what makes you sense this presence or quality in a guy; is it a skill that a man has to be attain; or is it an intuition the man has and he does what he wants in the moment? -You know, try to be as specific as you can, but also try to consider what every other women thinks of this presence and/or quality, in your answer.
Even for me that is a really hard question to answer, but I sincerely think that we are on a goldmine here, we just haven't reached the gold yet. Thanks X From: firstname.lastname@example.org Date: Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:59:13 -0400 X,
I like the challenge! I know this is something that needs to be broken down and it is priceless. I was with a best friend of mine who has always been great with women. Some of our other friends, guys, are a little jealous of his abilities and credit it to his money/car/home. As a woman I know that his success with women has nothing to do with his money/cars/ home. He could be dirt poor, no car and bald and if he was still able to hold that inner calmness that he currently has he would still be able to attract many many women. The thing about this friend of mine is that he knows he is worthy, he has self respect and he knows what he wants and goes after it. I know you want a more magical answer than this but that is really the secret. Now the hard part is getting to a place of believing this about yourself and feeling that calmness and comfort. This comes with practice, experience and information. It comes from observing people but more importantly from recognizing yourself. I don't want to sound like a spiritual guru right now but I hope you see where I am going with this. My guy friend has been in therapy since he was 12. He was constantly evaluating himself with the assistance of another person. This allowed him to face his greatest fears, learn to control his anxiousness and come out on the other side as a man of value. The reason he has this value for himself is because he has earned it and worked at it. He gives himself permission to go after what he wants and believes that he will get it. This type of attitude is where comfort and calmness stem from. You can have this as well but it takes time and effort! Marni On Oct 31, 2009, at 10:55 AM, X wrote: Hey Marni, Thanks for sharing that story about your friend, plus, also thanks for providing an answer to my question. And, you didn't sound like a spiritual guru, you actually spoke a lot of sense -giving yourself permission to going after what you want and believing that you'll get it, and knowing yourself- is basically the best advice, and I'll tell you why... I went out to this club last night. Now, I have approach anxiety. So, when I went out to this one club, loud music and all... something happened - I just got my phone out and typed a message "hey I think that ur gorgeous" and I went out on the dance floor and I gently touched this really gorgeous blonde girl on her shoulder and showed her the message on my phone. She burst out laughing and asked me, "How often do you do say that sort of thing?" and I calmly told her the absolute truth, "not often, this is actually the first time..." And it was, it truly was the first time I just went up to a girl who i wanted just like that, and sure, I could have said something better than just 'ur gorgeuos', but I'm learning, it was more about getting rid of the anxiety. But, I realized that the anxiety I had about approaching was so irrational, and it is so true, women are really friendly and polite. I spoke to her for a short time, but then I thanked her for the conversation and left, because I knew my chances were zero... I wouldn't say my approach anxiety is all gone, but I just listened to what you
said and understand that it is my choice to decide if I can get the women I want.
I know I can meet new girls when I'm out because that's what I want. What I also know is that I won't be afraid to go up to a girl any more, because, I know that after I did what I did with the girl on the dance floor, I still felt like me, I still felt like X, even though I didn't get her. I now look back in the past to the many chances I could have met someone great and didn't because I was too nervous or worried about rejection, and I just kick myself. So, again, thanks for the advice marni! I am one step closer to the presence you are talking about. Sincerely X ******** ******** ******** ****** ******* ********
What this email exchange shows is that the only person from holding you back from getting EVERYTHING you want is you. X took a chance and went after what he wanted. He approach a woman, he felt like himself instead of pretending to be someone else and even though he didn't get the girl he felt better about himself because he took the chance.
The more you can start pushing yourself to take the chances the more confidence you will gain and more opportunities with women will appear.
I promise you!
Have a great thanksgiving and don't worry if you don't get to make a wish on that wish bone because you don't need it! Make the wish yourself and then go make it happen!
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