Want to know how to compliment a woman the RIGHT way? Not the way that women tell you to compliment them. BUT the way that actually gets a woman to feel something for you and pay more attention to you? Then read read on…
Not sure if you have seen any of the blog posts from my new Wing Girl Alex, BUT they have been getting a lot of attention, and other guys are loving them.
Alex is 25, super cute, single and very honest when it comes to the things men do that turn her off instantly.
Now Alex is really pretty. There is no way of not seeing how pretty she is. Whenever I'm out with her, she'll have at least 3 guys come up to her and tell her how pretty she is.
And every time a guy tells her how pretty she is, she rolls her eyes, says thanks, and walks away.
Pretty rude right?
But then I started to notice that myself and my other girlfriends did the exact same thing.
Myself and my other friends may not have been so rude about it and would talk to the guy complimenting them. But we would all give that same sigh and then their body language would sink in this sad way.
I'm an analyzer, so I, of course, thought forever on WHY I had this reaction. And then I went to my girlfriends to ask them about it, and they all said the same thing about why a guy saying “you're pretty” was such a big turn off.
My Wing Girl Alex described it best which is why I asked her to write a blog about it!
I've posted the blog below that tells you why telling a girl she's pretty will never get you the reaction you want AND what you SHOULD compliment her on, that will make her instantly attracted to you.
Read this post with an open mind because I know how you may respond. “women suck…. bitches all of them… he's just trying to say something nice…” or something along those lines.
I'm not saying that the reaction us women have to you complimenting us is RIGHT or FAIR. But it's our biological, instinctual, gut reaction that we have little control over. So read this with an open mind and understand that it's just “what is”.
Telling Me I’m Pretty Is Too Easy
I worked at a bank two years ago.
We had a male customer that had just moved to the U.S. from the Middle East with his mother and sister with the help of a local Catholic church. The family was lovely, and I tried to make them feel welcomed as was my job to do as a teller.
One evening, the guy came to the bank with a bouquet of flowers for me. I wasn’t working that evening, so he came the next day in the drive-thru when I was working, gave me flowers, told me I was so beautiful and asked me out. I had never spoken to him for more than five minutes before this, and we had never shared any personal stories. Only exchanged words about his account and the basic, “Hi, how are you today,” “Fine, and you?”
So I was pretty surprised to receive the flowers and couldn’t understand why he was asking me out. He didn’t know me? I quickly learned it was because he thought I was the “prettiest woman in the world.” He even had a card with a poem that he had written about my beauty. I turned him down politely; I wasn’t very interested in dating at the time, and I wasn’t attracted to him.
A few days later, I was closing up the bank (alone) and had just closed the door to the bank when I saw a figure standing at my car. It was the same guy! With more flowers and waiting at my car (very creepily) to ask me out again. Now I was starting to get annoyed. I could have called the cops—since I didn’t know who he was at first, I could have thought he was a bank robber! He spouted off more statements of “You are so beautiful” and “the prettiest.” As you can guess, I never went out with the guy.
Actually that evening when I went home, I was really annoyed.
This guy wanted to date me for only one reason: how I look. He didn’t know me. He didn’t know anything about my personality—I could have been evil and cold-hearted. He didn’t know my passions, my dislikes, my weird habits, my hobbies, my education, or my beliefs, but he was so adamant to take me out because I was “so pretty.”
I was annoyed because telling me that I’m pretty is way too easy. He hadn’t taken the time to even figure out the kind of person I was before asking me out. Rather, he had already created this fantasy about me, that my physical appearance must match my personality, my soul, or reflect the kind of woman he wanted. I’ve had this happen multiple times.
Guys have painted this picture of how I am, positive or negative, in their minds based on my looks without even taking the time to get to know me.
I was on a date once with a guy, and we were talking about what we wanted for our futures. I said I wanted to move around the rest of my life and move my family with me. He argued that that wasn’t feasible, and I would have to settle down eventually in one spot. We debated on this, cordially of course. That wasn’t the only thing we disagreed on. My personality, beliefs, and views of the future and his were quite different. We would not have made a good match. But did that deter him from wanting to continue to go out with me? No. And I can only assume, due to his frequent comments on my appearance, that he only wanted to continue to go out with me because of how I looked.
Telling me, a confident woman, that I’m “pretty” or “beautiful” or “gorgeous” is too easy. If you want to ask me out, you got to do better than that. I’m not going to give you a second look because you complimented my looks, especially if I’m not physically attracted to you. Granted, I do enjoy compliments on my appearance, but I don’t need them and when they come from men. They just seem paper thin without any substance behind them, because I can’t tell if you even like the person that I am, or only like me because of how I look. I want compliments from a man that I’m in a serious relationship with; that’s what I enjoy. So if you want to win me over, or women like me, you need to step up your game and do what everyone else isn’t doing: not compliment me on my looks.
About a year ago, I went on a date with this guy I had matched with on Tinder. He looked cute in his pictures, though it was sort of difficult to know for sure. When we matched on the app, he sent me a message, and we talked a bit before he asked me out. It wasn’t until the day that we went on the date (maybe five days after we had started talking on the app) that I realized, he hadn’t once commented on my looks, hadn’t even referenced them! That intrigued me.
When I arrived at the date and saw him, I noticed that he was cute but not as attractive as I had thought he was. Still, I found myself not caring—this guy was different. During the dinner, he continued asking me about my passions and dreams and what I liked and disliked and we soon discovered that we were both ambitious with very similar interests and beliefs. It wasn’t until the end of the date that he even referenced my appearance, and when he did he didn’t even say the words “beautiful” or “pretty”! It was very subtle.
And I liked that.
Men who don’t compliment my looks when they are getting to know me or wanting to ask me out intrigue me, because they are doing something different than the masses. More importantly, when they aren’t focusing on my appearance, they are focusing on something most important: who I am as a person. Showing genuine interest in the kind of person that I am is the best, most sexy compliment you could give me. And engaging in good conversation about my ideals, goals, ambitions, and passions—well, now you’ve opened my eyes and I’m interested in you. That’s what will catch my attention. That is what will catch the attention of other girls and will give you the edge to date girls you never thought possible to date.
Would LOVE to hear what you think about this post.
P.S. Don't forget to check out The Chick-tionary: The Hidden Meaning Behind What Women Say & Do
This manual gives the full run down of ALL THE THINGS women say that confuses men, written in dictionary format. Go here to find out more and see a sample chapter of The Chick-tionary.