SECRET: The reason you get shoved in the Friend Zone or categorized as “Mr. Nice” is because you don't know how to get out of interview mode!
Check out this email that I got from Michael. He's one of my clients that I work with over Skype.
Over the past year he has gone from the wimpy guy women can't stand to the attractive guy, that women are crazy about.
He finally gets the importance of chemistry and connection and why it causes women to feel attraction.
Here's another update, and an insight about connection.
It's amazing how often so many of us go through life (and online dating especially) in what I call “interview mode”.
By “interview mode” I mean that we answer questions as if we are on a job interview–answers that are crafted to “sound cool”, be socially acceptable, and politically correct, so that the other person will like and accept us.
Everyone who does online dating “loves their job” and “had a great weekend with their friends (because people like them dammit!)”.
The ironic thing is that we can subconsciously pick up when others are dealing with us in “interview mode” and when that is the case, we don't feel much connection and chemistry with the other person.
I used to do this a lot on dates. I still do it more than I am proud of. And it has gotten me labelled a Nice Guy (no chemistry).
So my experiment: I am going to catch myself whenever I go into “interview mode“, and say something that is edgy and/or truly on my mind, no matter how politically incorrect it might sound:
“I like my job, but I sometimes fantasize about leaving to become a porn star”.
“I spent the weekend writing a paper for work… yes I am proudly in touch with my nerd side. I'll be visiting friends in San Diego next weekend”.
“You look amazing, and I am asking about that ring on your finger because I want to hold your hand”.
I know we talked about this before, but I am finally seeing this concept that we discussed in a new light and I want to share this with you.
I love it.
Before I give my answer/response as to WHY interview mode pushes you into friend zone or Mr. No second date.
AND why doing everything you said in your email creates chemistry and connection.
I want you to take a crack at it.
Tell me WHY this works on women?
I know you know this.
Well, one reason why the woman ends up not being interested is that there isn't anything for her to latch onto.
Also, a “high-status” person is in touch
with who he is and has the self-acceptance to just say it. A “low-status” person is preoccupied with pleasing others.
And when a guy is stuck in “interview mode“, on some level she might even be questioning the guy's sincerity.
If I were to say something sweet after I say something edgy, it would come across as a lot more believable and powerful than if I were just sweet.
The edginess says that I am someone who truly says what is on his mind, how he feels, so when I say something sweet after the fact, it has more of an impact as it would be coming from someone who clearly isn't afraid to offend.
Does that jibe with your thoughts on this?
Exactly!! I can see that everything we have been working on is finally coming together.
You get it!
You get that women do not want to be with a complacent, non-opinionated, complimenting bafoon.
A man with with their own thoughts.
A man with their own values and beliefs.
A man that naturally challenges them just by being himself.
This email really made my day.
I am happy that you can see that you don't need to be a dick to get what you want.
You only have to be YOU.
It's nice when it just clicks 😉
Stop putting yourself and interview mode. You are better than that.
Not sure how to do that?
1) Work with me one-on-one like Michael did and kick your learning curve into high gear.
Watch your results with women sky rocket to ridiculous levels.
Find out more:
2) Get the system that has transformed 1000's of men into men that women crave and chase.
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