Most men have a tough time having a conversation with women they like. They either don’t know what to say to start. Or they don’t know how to keep things going once the conversation has started.
So I wanted to give you a complete guide for talking to women. I want to show you how to get any woman HOOKED on you using your words. If you follow the 6 tips I share with you, you will have girls hanging on your every word — and treating you like you’re the most important man on the planet.
You’re about to see how easy it actually is to captivate any woman and make her fall for you. Here are my 6 tips on how to get a woman hooked using your words:
Tip #1: Lower The Bar
Before you talk to any woman, you need to lower the bar. This is key. The biggest reason why your mind goes blank when you see a pretty girl is that you have a high bar. You believe that you need to say something exceptional and extraordinary to get her attention. And you need to keep saying amazing, exceptional things to keep her attention.
This makes you super nervous. And gets you stuck in your head. You get too concerned about what to say and if it’s even good enough. And because your bar is so high, nothing makes the cut. Which means, you are left with nothing to say. So you need to lower the bar. Or better, eliminate the bar altogether.
I always tell guys that you can say anything to a woman as long as you own it. Like literally. You could walk up to a girl and say “I love oranges! What about you?” — and it would work as long as you own it.
Why? Just because. With that belief in place, you can make almost anything work. Because it acts like a self fulfilling prophecy. Because you believe that everything you say is important and therefore worthy of attention, women, and people in general, start to believe the same. And you naturally radiate a vibe that captivates people.
Moreover, literally no woman expects you to say the most amazing, witty and intelligent things all the time. In fact, even if you manage to pull that off and every word you say is amazing, it seems inauthentic. It feels like you’re tying too hard to impress. So there’s no benefit to having a high bar. Lower it. Destroy it. And you will see a big difference in how women react to you.
Tip #2: Be a Leader
Women expect you to lead. If you go up to a woman and say, “I love oranges! What about you?” You will get her attention. But she won’t take off her panties and jump on top of you. Her natural reaction will be: “Okay, what else?” Meaning, continue. Follow up. Lead me.
Yes, some chatty, extroverted women might respond with more enthusiasm and lead the conversation forward themselves. But 9 times out of 10, you will be in charge of moving things forward. That’s the masculine role.
If you depend on a woman to lead the conversation, you’re asking her to take the masculine role. And that will never result in any attraction. You have to take responsibility. Ask questions, share your opinions, tell your stories, crack jokes, introduce some flirting and move things forward.
If you feel like you’re nothing to say, it means your bar is still too high. Lower the bar. Remember, everything you say is important. That’s your new core belief. So it doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth. Every word is important. It’s worthy of attention. So just keep going. And don’t hesitate or second guess yourself.
Tip #3: Get Playful Fast
The faster you introduce some playfulness into the conversation, the easier it will be. Cracking a joke or saying something silly relaxes your mind and hers. It makes you comfortable with each other. I always tell my clients to take those first few questions you get in most conversations… Like “where are you from?” and “what do you do?“ and give playful answers to it.
For example: “Where are you from?”
“Well, my mom said I was a gift from God. So I am from heaven, I guess. What about you?”
Similarly… “What do you do for work?”
“Well, I’m a hand model. I mean, look at these. Can’t you tell?” (Show your hands)
You don’t need to do this with every question. Even one little joke like this will lighten the mood and make you both feel more comfortable.
Another way to get playful early in conversation is to make absurd guesses. This can be done in two ways. Either you can make a guess based on an observation… Like for example, “I like your glasses. You look like a Harry Potter fangirl.”
Or you can ask her a question and guess the answer in a playful way. Like, “Are you an only child? I feel like you have older siblings. And you’re that spoilt younger kid who got all the attention.”
Now these are just two suggestions. There are countless opportunities to crack a joke or say something silly in conversation. When you see one, take it. If you can’t find any opportunities to be playful, it once again means that your bar is too high. You don’t need to be a master comedian. You’re not tying to get a Netflix special. A good rule to follow in conversation is to self amuse.
Meaning, say things to make yourself laugh. To entertain yourself. To push your own buttons. If you do that, you will have a much easier time taking to women. And because you’ll be having fun, the women you talk to will have fun by simply being in your presence. Emotions are contagious. If you’re having a good time, she will have a good time.
Tip #4: Give Genuine Compliments
Many male dating coaches and pick up gurus will say that compliments turn women off. That you should avoid compliments altogether. Truth is, compliments can work in your favor and it can work against you as well. It all depends on the intention behind the compliment.
If you compliment a woman to make her like you, she will sense that. And it will look like you’re sucking up to her. If you compliment a woman when you’re genuinely impressed by something about her, she will love that. So make it a rule to only compliment a girl when you’re genuinely impressed by something.
Bonus points if it’s not about her looks. There’s nothing wrong about telling her that she’s beautiful. That you find her attractive. Women put a lot of effort into looking good. And it feels good to have that acknowledgment. But that said, beautiful women are used to being complimented on their looks. So it doesn’t always hit that hard.
It feels nice when it’s genuine but it’s not always memorable. So if you find something else about her that impresses you, say it. That will be more likely to create a lasting positive impact on her. The only other rule you need to follow when complimenting a girl is this: Don’t linger on it.
If you linger on a compliment, it feels like you’re looking for a reaction from her. And that can signal to her that you’re only saying it to please her. So with compliments, say it and move on. Keep the conversation going.
Tip #5: Tell Stories
Stories are naturally entertaining. Humans are built to pay attention to stories. And it’s probably the best way to keep conversations moving and really connect with a person. But what story should you tell? If you have this question in your mind, then once again, your bar is too high.
If you have been alive for a while, you have stories to tell. Things have happened to you and around you. Think about what you do when you’re talking to close friend. You probably share a lot of stories in conversation. Whether it’s something that happened that day or something from the past. And you don’t worry about the content too much. You go with what you’re inspired to say in the moment.
That’s what you do with women as well. That said, there are some habits that will make you a more captivating storyteller. And I could do a whole video on that alone if you want. Let me know in the comments. But for now, I’ll run through them with you quickly.
The first habit is to use a story hook. This simply means use a line or two to tease the story you’re about to tell. Hint at what the story is about without saying it outright. For example, if I was telling you how I got started as a dating and attraction coach…
I’d say something like: “So this one time I helped a guy friend of mine get a girl. And then he said something that changed my life.“
You see the point? You basically give people a teaser and then dive into the story. This programs people to pay attention. Second habit of good storytelling is to act out characters and actions in the story. All the best storytellers act out characters and actions using their voice, gestures and facial expressions.
You don’t have to be like a Jim Carey and go overboard with it. Even a little acting out will liven up the story and pull people into the experience.
The third and last habit I’ll touch on for now is this: Add feelings into your story. Whenever you tell a story, mention how you felt as it happened. Explain how the other people felt too. Act it out if possible using changes in tonality, facial expressions and gestures. That creates a big emotional impact on the listener.
And that’s all I say about storytelling for now. If you’re interested to know more, let me know in the comments. And I’ll do a full video on how to use stories to captivate and attract women. For now, the main thing to understand is that stories will get women hooked. And you should tell more stories in your conversations. They are inherently entertaining to all human beings.
Tip #6: Don’t Be Desperate for a Romantic Connection
This is huge. Guys who are most successful with women go after women they like, but don’t mind if things don’t work out. They are not desperate for a romantic connection. Their mindset says: “I’ll talk to her and see where it goes. If it leads to a romantic connection, great. If it doesn't, no problem. Nothing bad happens.“
They treat a conversation as a chance to explore a potential connection. They don’t try to force it. As a result, they come across as very cool, calm and collected when taking to a woman. And that cool vibe gets women interested.
Now there are multiple ways to develop this mindset and avoid being desperate for a connection… But nothing works as well as creating more options for yourself.
If you believe a girl is your only option, you will be desperate. You can’t help it. But if you have other options, you will naturally be more relaxed and carefree. The good news is if you need some extra help getting this mind set to really stick for you then I have something you will love. I created a FREE mini course for you that shows you the 5 things you actually need to attract any woman and it includes 5 videos.
- Video #1: The Mindset That Will Help You Attract Women “Out of Your League”
- Video #2: How to Capture a Woman’s Attention Before You Even Say a Word (Any Guy Can Do This)
- Video #3: A Simple Method to Overcome Anxiety & Approach Girls Confidently
- Video #4: The Single BEST Way to Start a Conversation With a Woman In Any Situation (The “O.S.A Technique”)
- Video #5: Powerful “Flirting Tactics” That Will Boost Attraction And Make Her Want You More (Flirting Lines Included)
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