I went out to a bar in Los Angeles for a girls night with my hot, amazing single girlfriends Nina, Jen, and Shauna.
When we first got there we scoured the bar to see if there were any potential men. We spotted a great group of guys and plopped ourselves down next to them, making sure they could see us.
As we sat down they looked over at us, smiled and then literally huddled together and looked back at us.
Then one guy turned to our table and said “what are you ladies drinking? my friends and I want to buy you a drink.” As women we gladly accepted the free drinks. Hey, if you guys want to offer, we will always take and give you 5 minutes of our time to see if we like you.
After the drinks came, two of the guys came over to our table and started gabbing on and on about a huge financial deal they had just closed. They then went on and talked about their new car they just purchased and trust me they did not forget to mention the price.
I was getting totally turned off these guys and I could tell that my girlfriends were feeling the same way. We quickly guzzled our drinks and excused ourselves.
We could not believe that these attractive, well dressed men, who were obviously successful, were that insecure. Why did they feel the need to babble on about “what they had” rather than trying to talk with us.
So we continued our night and were having a blast with each other.
About 2 hours into our night I was getting drinks from the bar and a man decided to approach me. He was about 5″7, wore glasses and could have definitely used a lesson on wardrobe.
He strolled over with an energy that I can only explain as magnetic.
He simply came up to me and said “Hi my name is xxx” and held out his hand. I introduced myself.
X – “You are not from here are you?”
Me – ” No I am not. How can you tell?”
X – “Because you are the only girl in the bar smiling and looking people straight in the eye. Girls like that don't exist around here. Where are you from?”
Me – “Toronto in Canada”
X – “I think I've heard of it before (with a smug smile) I'm one of those lucky Amercian's who grew up with a map in the house. Actually I just visited Toronto. Great city. A much cleaner version of New York. What made you want to move here?”
The conversation went on for quite some time and that excited feeling in my stomach kept increasing through out the conversation.
When I like a guy I am talking to I get nervous, I trip over my words and ramble on and on. My eye contact is always locked on him and I do not notice anyone else around me. I was totally into this guy.
The reason that I was attracted to this guy was because he was interesting, confident and obviously a man who went after what he wanted. He looked me straight in the eye and went after me without a doubt in his mind that he would be rejected.
He did not approach me with some cheesy line, or canned material, he approached me directly without fear and I could sense that.
He poked fun at me, did not over compliment or fawn all over me.
He was not dominating the conversation if anything I was doing most of the talking.
This in turn intimidated me and made me nervous. I was the one who was afraid of possible rejection.
I did not feel at any time that I had full control of the situation. I remember constantly thinking does this guy like me, he must? Am I sounding smart enough? Is there lipstick on my teeth? My mouth hurts from smiling. The internal thoughts go on and on.
In a short period of time he was able to make me feel comfortable, excited and special.
I could tell from our conversation that xxx was a good man and was desired by others.
He was self assured, calm, cool and collected.
This is the type of man that I am attracted to. The type of man I want to date and be in a relationship with. A man I want to be with.
As long as you are direct, confident and clear in your wants, then women will be attracted to you.
The more comfortable you are in your skin the more attractive you are to women.
I do have to point out that I have never been attracted to players.
I have always been able to see right through their attempts. Guys who are not straight with me are not attractive to me.
I must admit the approaches used by “player” types are fun, engaging and ego boosting BUT they are also obvious and exhausting.
At times this is all I have wanted from a night out. Simple, fun banter and a quick make out session with a guy I was not going to think about the next day.
For long term this is not what I am looking for and not what I am attracted to.
Again, I am attracted to a self-assured man who knows himself and knows what he wants. This attitude makes me feel special and lucky to have captured this mans attention and makes me want to see him again.
I can tell you that xxx was not always able to approach women with such confidence.
At a later time he revealed to me that he used to be very unsuccessful with women and was in fact afraid to approach. He used to think he was too skinny, short and unattractive and it took time to grow into his looks.
After years of working on himself and finally finding true confidence and understanding himself he feels comfortable in his own skin and can approach anyone without fear.
You too can feel exactly like xxx. Every man can! You can approach, attract, date and keep the most attractive, amazing women. All you need to do is learn how.