If you’ve ever had a oneitis, you know that it sucks. You agonize about whether she likes you or not, you think about her every day, and at the end of it all, she just isn’t that into you.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t know what a oneitis even is, let alone how to overcome this crippling condition. Often times, having a oneitis can even completely ruin your life.
Most men out there have suffered from a oneitis at some point in their lives, whether they’re a high school student who just broke up with his sweetheart, or a 50-year-old man looking for love after a recent divorce.
So, whoever you are, and wherever you’re reading this from, here’s everything you could ever possibly need to know about oneitis.
What is Oneitis?
Put simply, oneitis is when you’ve got a crippling crush on a single girl, who just isn’t that interested in you. This is a lot different than a long term relationship, or love.
Whereas loving someone in a committed relationship comes from a place of abundance and genuine connection, a oneitis is more like an unhealthy obsession.
The distinct characteristic that separates oneitis from actual love, is that a oneitis is pure fantasy. It’s a feeling you have over a girl who doesn’t have the same feeling for you.
It can take many forms, such as:
Your Crush at Work
Your Ex-Wife Who’s Moved On
The Girl Who Just Won’t Text You Back
The Girl Who’s Playing You
Most guys have had a oneitis at some point, and it really does suck. You feel like you put all this effort into getting a certain girl to like you, and she just doesn’t seem to be into you.
What Causes Oneitis?
In order to cure oneitis, you need to understand what causes it. Fundamentally, oneitis is caused by a strong tendency towards codependence, and an unhealthy self-image.
The reason that some guys get so obsessed over a girl, is because they don’t spend any time building their own hobbies, passions, and lives.
This leads to a feeling of emptiness. When you don’t have many close friends, a good family to stand by you, and an interesting career path, it’s hard NOT to get a crush on a girl!
…but fundamentally, women are attracted to men who have things going for them. They want a man who has his own interesting life, because this will typically mean that he’s non-needy.
This is why it’s so important to understand what causes oneitis. Too many dating articles and guides out there only fix the “surface problem,” and not the underlying cause.
How to Cure Oneitis
So, with this in mind, how do you cure oneitis? Well, you start by looking at the underlying problems, and not the surface level issues.
For example, most dating advice will tell you things like:
Wait 2-3 Days to Call Her
Avoid Seeming Too Needy
Don’t Ask Her Certain Questions Too Soon
…and while these are all fine and great, they don’t get to the core cause of the problem, which is often a poor level of self-esteem, and a boring life that you hate.
This is why the only true cure for oneitis, is to work on yourself, and develop a life that’s not only fun and interesting, but filled with passion and fulfillment.
This is what women want from men. They want a guy who’s on his purpose in life, and who’s having a great time by himself. He doesn’t need women, although he does want them.
The ultimate way to attract a woman, is to WANT her, but not NEED her to live a happy and fulfilling life. When you can master this, you will have more women than ever before.
It does take time to work on yourself, grow as a human being, and develop into the type of man who women want, though. That being said, here are some quick tips to help start you off.
Do A Serious Self-Audit
When it comes to dating girls, most guys have so many self-delusions it’s insane. Most guys would rather lie to themselves, and say they’re happy, than admit that they’re not.
…but admitting that you’re not satisfied with your dating life is the first step to actually fixing it. Without admitting that your dating life isn’t great, you can’t begin to solve the problem.
So, to start, ask yourself if you’re truly satisfied with your life. This includes your dating life, your physical health, and your personal friendships.
If you’re not satisfied, then we have some work to do. Start by identifying the #1 area you want to improve first, and then create an action plan to fix it.
Most men find that insecurity is one of their biggest problems with women. In fact, I’d say that this is the #1 problem that most men face when trying to date hot girls!
When trying to overcome your insecurity and develop true inner game, ask yourself what you’re so insecure about in the first place. Your height? Your weight? Your income?
While you can’t fix all of these things, you can certainly fix some of them… and whatever you can’t fix, don’t worry about it, because women care far more about confidence than anything else.
Another common problem that men have, is that they’re focusing way too much on trying to date beautiful women. This is one of the interesting paradoxes of the dating world.
Funny enough, when you’re too eager to meet and please women, they end up rejecting you! By not caring too much, she’ll be 10x more likely to chase you, and want to date you.
Your Oneitis Will Test You
A very common trap I see men falling into, is they get strung along by women. Men who have a oneitis are extremely vulnerable to this, by the way.
When you’ve got a oneitis, she’ll throw all sorts of shit tests at you, and if you’re too hung up over her, you’ll fail her tests every time.
She ignores you, and then asks a favor that’s unreasonable? You’ll do it.
She doesn’t text you back, then gets mad when you don’t text HER back? You’ll apologize profusely.
She blows you off, and then gets mad when you’re dating other girls? You’ll grovel and beg for her to take you back.
This is no good. The best way to win your oneitis over, paradoxically enough, is to stop caring about her so much – after all, she’s just a woman, not a goddess!
Oneitis: The Bottom Line
When it really comes down to it, having a oneitis is a lack of self-esteem and an interesting life. There is no quick fix for this, although there’s certainly things you can do to get started.
If you’re stuck on a certain girl, and just can’t seem to get over her, the best thing you can do is cut off all contact and focus on yourself.
Stop putting in so much effort to try and win her over, and give her space to chase you. If a girl really does care about you, she will initiate conversations and dates.
I know it’s difficult to do sometimes, but the truth is that if you make your own happiness your first priority, not only will you overcome your oneitis, but your dating life will be 10x better than you ever thought possible… that’s a fact.