Part 2 of our mini series for Online Dating is about using the right words in your online dating profile.
When I was using online dating, I came across SOOOOOO many men who didn't understand how to present themselves well online. It was sad for me, because I knew that if these guys made a few simple wording tweaks they would get the recognition they deserve. BUT because of some minor errors they were turning off women and making them click out of their profile.
Below is another great article from Adam Gilad, who is a specialist when it comes to online dating. Trust me! This guy is a master in the online dating world and he has taken what he is learned from his experiences to write the article below. My feedback is included in bold.
Article From Adam:
You were probably taught these rules in high school, but it's also possible you were too busy staring at the girl next to you to have paid attention. It's okay and you're forgiven. In fact, there might have been something wrong with you if you preferred grammar at age 16!
So here's a quick rundown. These points are simple, but crucial for a successful profile that isn't completely ignored at first glance:
1. Don't misspell: Stick your file in Word and spell check it. Women hate it when men misspell. It shows sloppiness and a lack of attention to detail. Women like attention to detail. Think about it — consider their predilection for decoration and, oh, foreplay? So pay attention to details. The two words I see misspelled most often – “independent” and “definitely.” Also, know the difference between desert and dessert. Listen, I myself have been busted a few times for horrible grammar and spelling errors in my newsletters. So I get that it's tough to have proper grammar. But there is a difference between impeccable grammar and careless mistakes. Proof read yourself or a get a friend to help. You don't want stupid, obvious mistakes popping out at women. Trust me, it will turn them off instantly.
2. Avoid clichés: You are not a hopeless romantic, a gentleman and a scholar, a boy next door. You are an individual worthy of individual expression. Use individual and unique definitions for yourself. I love it when men use the word individual. I think it is sexy and strong and it means so much to me. The cliches actually make me sick to my stomach. It just screams “I am trying so hard and I think this is what women want to hear”. We do not want to hear it.
3. Avoid generic language: You don't like walks on the beach, a nice wine with dinner, or feel as comfortable in jeans and t shirt as you do in a tux. Same comment as above. I have an audio recording for you in the part of the series that explains this further.
Do yourself a huge favor. Go read other men's profiles and see how often guys write the exact same thing. They are clueless. More importantly, to an attractive woman online, they become the same as all the others… invisible. (You can usually cloak your profile to go look at guys' profiles, if the idea of that sounds weird. Just go “invisible.” Most dating sites have that option. This is a great idea. See who pops out to you and then study what it is they do. It will help a lot.
4. Be precise in your language: Say Chicago Blues instead of blues. Shiraz is better than “wine.” No Chardonnay (feminine), orMerlot (lazy). The Palms is better than Vegas. Rib-eye steak is better than mere steak. Azure is better than blue. Aspen grove is better than forest. Not sure about a few of these but a good note to take away from this rule is, know what you are talking about. Don't fake it to impress. If you want to talk about wines and really know what you are saying then study up on it. I have have a great article here on wines if you like. Click here to read
The more precisely you can paint the environment of your life, the more tactilely and sensually her imagination will project her into it (much more on that in other articles!) The more real you will feel to her and the more her senses will wake up when reading your profile or emails.
5. Be dynamic in your language: Avoid static words like “is”, “are” and “have” – those are static verbs. USE A THESAURUS to make your sentences sizzle, and that often starts with what are called active verbs.
Example: If you love your dog, you might want to write: I love dogs!” BORING! Rather, paint a picture of you relating to your dog that she can feel, see, enjoy and project herself into that picture… Painting a picture is huge. Women want to visualize a scenario. That is why women use so many words during the day because they are constantly painting pictures. This helps us capture an emotion so we can feel. If you can paint a picture of what a woman COULD be part of you will capture her attention and her heart. Trust me.
“I like to spend Sunday mornings wrestling in the sand with my lab. She's hilarious- running up to say hi to everybody. You can practically see her laughing the whole time, and then we collapse and peacefully soak in the sun.”
That's a happy picture vivid with action. I don't merely have a dog. Rather the reader sees and imagines me wrestling, and laughing, and collapsing with my little furry pal. What a playful guy! And there's room for her in the picture too, so she can see herself lying down next to me at the end. Who is that “we,” after all, she might wonder?
6. Show, Don't Tell: Possibly the most important writing rule of all. Don't list. Don't talk and tell about yourself. Show yourself. Same comment as above. I had a client who would interview date. Which means he would give exam type answers to questions asked by his date rather than paint a picture and get involved in his story. This shows passion and women love passion.
If you are funny, do not say you are funny – be funny. If you love your little nephew do not say he is the “light of my life” – paint a picture of something you and he do together or how he makes you laugh.
This is the difference between George Clooney coming on screen and telling you the story of Oceans 11, and George Clooney in the action of the film itself. Which is more interesting? Show your life; don't list the facts of it. Write little movie scenes in your profile. She will be drawn into that movie, as anyone would.
Remember these 6 simple rules online and you'll instantly stand out from all the hundreds of guys who don't have a clue
As I said Adam is VERY experienced in the online dating world. As am I. He has created a couple of amazing HOW TO programs for all steps of online dating.
DO YOU KNOW THE #1 SECRET THAT BUILDS ATTRACTION ONLINE?
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW TO FIND OUT: