The office can present a great opportunity for you to find someone who shares many interests, so I say never leave this prospective dating pool untapped. But remember; you need to handle the good, the bad and even the ugly with dignity. If you can’t do that – find another place to meet potential dates.
The other day I had lunch with two my fellow Wing Girls, Jennifer and Katie. They both shared dating at work experiences with me. Jennifer actually met her boyfriend of five years at work and that surprised Katie because she ended up having to quit a job after dating someone in her office.
I asked my friends to share their stories with you to provide perspective.
You can meet women at work! Just follow my tips at the end of the stories.
When it Works – Jennifer and Sam
I am an office manager in a sales office. I always made it a policy not to date the salesmen I worked with directly. Then one day Sam joined our group. He turned out to be a great guy and we had so much in common. We had to attend the same work functions and travel as a team. Sometimes we would go to lunch or running errands together and for six months we were work buddies.
Then we went to Vegas on a business trip and after a few days of partying and drinking, we could no longer deny that we were attracted to each other. We ended up hooking up during the trip and we were good with the whole thing. We decided to date but keep our personal life out of the office. After about a year, even our boss caught on and we were “outed”. But there was no company policy against it and eventually it was just common knowledge that we were a couple.
We have dated for five years and we are getting married next year. It was not always easy but our determination to keep our personal lives out of the office was ultimately what kept us together. For us, it was fun living separate lives and we even had a rule about fighting: “First rule about fight club is – never talk about fight club at work.”
Well, now we have come full circle. I recently took a new job and if I am honest, I miss seeing Sam during the day. But I love my new job as a sales analyst and now we look forward to when we see each other at the end of the day.
When it Goes Terribly Wrong – Katie and Steve
Last year I was working as a pharmaceutical sales rep for a big company. I met Steve at a company event and we hit it off immediately. He asked me for my phone number and we set up a dinner date that weekend. He seemed (at the time) open and real. I remember thinking to myself he is so confident and charismatic.
After a few dates, we started to get a bit more serious and we were sleeping together. About two months into the relationship, we agreed to be monogamous. It felt right and we were having a great time. But as we neared the six-month mark things started to change. Steve would come by my office a few times a day and if I was out on sales calls, he wanted to know what doctors I had met with or what colleagues I took to lunch. Then he became creepy. He was all up in my business every day. He would make snarky comments about my skirt being too short and one day he said something to my boss about my “long lunches”.
That was it! I told him that we were done – finished – OVER! Did he get the hint? NO! He would meet me at my car and ask me to forgive him. He would send me flowers at the office. He would text me all day. Finally, my boss asked me what was going on and when I told him the truth, he informed me that it was against company policy to date coworkers. (Too late buddy!)
My boss finally had a conversation with Steve, telling him to keep it away for the office, but things were never the same. I ended up leaving a job that I really liked because I just had to get away from the whole nightmare. I landed on my feet vowing to NEVER EVER date a coworker EVER AGAIN!
So we have two completely different outcomes of inter-office dating. But I think you can see what worked and what didn’t. Here are the rules for dating a coworker:
- Keep it private – no one should be able to tell that you are dating each other.
- Keep it professional – do not sabotage her career or yours.
- Keep it playful – agree to secret dates and under the radar flirting.
- Keep it peaceful – if it doesn’t work out, walk away but maintain your composure ALWAYS.
If you can follow these pretty simple rules, then any funny business at the office will be super fun and highly pleasurable 🙂
Not sure how to transition from co-workers to more?? Then check out my method for approaching, attracting and getting the women you want. Click here to read more.