It's so strange. Lately, I am getting tons of emails from guys who are in relationships and asking how to win her back & make her love you again. Reignite the spark, so to speak. As someone who has been in a LTR/marriage for nearly a decade, I find myself equipped to advise on this topic, especially from the female's POV.
One of my biggest fears in my marriage is that things will get bland and my husband will get “comfortable with me”. Not that I don't want comfort in our relationship but I don't want to ever feel like…. THE WIFE. Sends shivers down my spine. Now my husband and I are not experts on how to keep the flame alive, but we're certainly trying to achieve that status.
We work really hard to communicate (note: communication does not mean talking to one another. It means saying that things that may rock the boat or bruise an ego) and we work really hard on appreciating each other and not taking one another for granted. Most importantly, we continue to flirt and banter almost every day of our relationship.
The flirting makes me feel young and feminine and it stops me from falling into the bitter wife, striving to be wanted, category.
Overall, my husband makes me feel wanted on a semi daily basis and I believe that is why our relationship has still remained loving and sexual.
Wanted to share an email I got from Ed, who asked me about re-lighting the spark with his lady. My response with actionable steps are below.
How To Win Her Back & Make Her Love You Again
I'm 47 and looking for ways to rekindle the spark with my wife of 23 years. I'm looking at your materials as well as others. So far, there's been no “magic bullet” that works, but I'd like to believe that making the effort will eventually be worth it.
If I've heard you correctly, you yourself are married. I'd be very interested in hearing more about what you find works in the context of a long term marriage, There's bound to be some overlap in the ways married women and single women think. Thanks for your advice thus far. – Ed
MY RESPONSE TO ED—- Marni <email@example.com> wrote:
I love that you want to rekindle the spark. It's music to my ears 🙂
I want you to know that you are absolutely right. Continuing to make an effort is part of what makes a successful marriage/relationship BUT being a leader and being the MAN your wife is looking for is the magic bullet you are seeking.
Without knowing more about you, your wife, her complaints, I can't really advise specifically. But I will give you one piece of advice that will always work with the women in your life.
Think back to little things that your wife has suggested to do or has subtly said she wanted to do. I am sure if you think about it really hard 1 or 2 will pop into your head.
THEN DO THEM!!!
We don't say these things because we want to throw suggestions out there. We say things so that they are heard and done BY OUR MAN.
The thing with women is that we just want to feel special and the epitome of special is when something is done for us without us clearly asking for it. I know men are the opposite. You ask for what you want and you say it clearly. But for women, if we have to tell you, it's too late. And if we have to tell you 2x or more you are in trouble 😉
I also have a little flirting exercise you can do with your wife. Re-lighting the flame is all about reigniting her femininity. And femininity gets reignited when a woman is around a strong masculine presence, that can lead. What I suggest is flirting and leadership both in the bedroom and outside. This process is going to take you being patient and you being able to handle her discomfort.
Here is what I want you to do:
– Start to flirt during the day by sending a dirty/flirty text. Not really dirty texts but little ones, once a day like “You looked really hot this morning. Thinking of you”.
– When you get home, come up from behind her and squeeze her, kiss her on the neck and look her in the eyes and then kiss her and smirk. You can even give her ass a little slap.
– Then say, can I help with anything? or ask her how her day was and then actively listen.
– Do this for a week. Switch up the texts each day, but this is courting. You are a lion, going after it's prey, slowly but with purpose. If you don't text, you can say little flirty things to her throughout the day. 2 max.
NOTE: Do not be phased by her discomfort with what you are doing. It just feel foreign to her. So no matter what stay in character. The character of the Lion on the prowl!
If you do both of these things with confidence NOT neediness, you will start to see results very quickly. Trust me!
Do You Want To Understand More About Women & How To Make Them Happy Without Becoming A Pushover? Click here and watch this video…