So again, the question from this client was “I don't know what to say to women after breaking into a conversation…”
My answer to this is “You can say WHATEVER YOU WANT”. But of course I know that it takes time to get comfortable with saying what you want and therefore training wheels are essential!
I gave him an assignment to come up with second liners to use on women in all different scenarios. I wanted him to be prepared with ammo!
Sometimes people need to prepare and practice in order to be natural. Having conversation on automatic recall. The more you practice and prepare, the more confident and comfortable you will become.
He sent me back an amazing list of possible second liners that I thought were awesome and I wanted to share them with you. There are a few duds but they can't all be gems on a first try.
I have also included my feedback to him in bold.
(I love that you call me M. Nicknames are my favorite and it makes you seem confident and masculine. It also makes me feel feminine.)
Here are some specific scenario second liners. For now I'm just going for smile, friendly eyes, and Hi or Hello for first line.
1. Supermarket. Lady pushing scaled down buggy. Hello. Smile. That's a cute buggy but it's getting full. Can I go get you the industrial size buggy?
So cute. I love this. It teases in a slight way that may entice a woman to bite back.
2. Supermarket. Lady looking at different hair care products. Hi. Smile. I'm thinking about switching from just using soap on my hair. Can you suggest a good shampoo for my kind of hair?
This is great and very similar to a line I used yesterday at the nail salon. I tried on 3 different colors and said to a woman getting her nails done “I have a party to go to on on Sunday with a few of my more conservative friends, which color do you think I should wear?” she said “well first question, what are you wearing” I said “Great question, I didn't even think of that” and then we chatted for another 5 minutes and then I excused myself.
3. Bookstore. Lady reading a book in one of the aisles. Bump gently into her as I go by. Hi. Smile. You look mesmerized. Do you think I would like what you're reading?
Nice. This shows you get that you can do what you want to make a scenario happen. The world is yours, seriously. Go make things happen. It will be scary at first and then get amazing and fun!!! I promise.
4. Bookstore. Lady looking at books in the new arrival section. Hi. Smile. Have you heard any good reviews about ………. (one of the arrivals). What do you like to read?
This is cute. Not my favorite but if said in the right way could be good. No oomf in it but may lead to conversation or a may lead to just a great suggestion for a book 🙂
5. Coffee shop. Lady at next table working on a laptop. Hi. Smile. You seem to be really focused. Is your deadline today?
Love this. Smart ass! Love it. Again, a slight tease which women LOVE. Makes her aware of her face and body language.
6. Gym. Lady working out on a machine. Hi. Smile. I've never tried that machine before. How do you like it?
Not my favorite but good thinking… just seems soft and the usual comment from men. What about “Looks like that machine is really working you hard” or “you are really punishing that machine.”
7. Gym. Lady running on a treadmill. Hi. Smile. That's a great pace you've got going. How far have you gone?
Not so good. Weak and same comment as above.
8. Mall. Lady shopping in ladies section. Hi. Smile. My mom is feeling low and I want to get her a nice gift to pick up her spirits (true BTW) (blouse, sweater, jacket, etc.) I wonder what I should get her?
This is great but you have to be able to add something interesting to it but definitely a great opener. Asking for assistance, then leading her to help then rewarding her for her help. Picture a teacher and a kindergarten student.
9. Mall. Lady shopping in record store aisle. Hi. Smile. I'm browsing for some new …… (rock,country, jazz) Have you heard something new you really like?
Great opener and way to break into conversation. Again asking for advice but make sure to take her help and then reward her for helping. Say something like “someone's got a fetish with….”
10. Mall. Lady shopping in perfume aise. Hi. Smile. My cousin's birthday is coming up and I want to get her some top of the line perfume. Can you suggest a nice fragrance?
Better but a better idea is tell her you want to try out some fragrances on her. Say “Can I borrow your arm for a minute?” take her arm and say “my cousins birthday is coming up and I want to get her something nice, can I spray to test it out” spray. Sniff.
D did awesome and he got started quickly with trying them.
He wrote back to me the next day that he tried the gym one I suggested about “punishing that machine” but the woman was too winded to respond. From that he learned to wait until a woman catches her breath.
See he learned and will now adjust his own method. That is what I am trying to show you. Everyone is different and therefore the same gimmicks, pick up lines and routines will not work the same for you as they do for others.
But you can use them to learn. Just be sure to tweak and test.
Can you see what I am I saying?