Note: Marni has been kind enough to invite me to share this guest post. I hope it’ll help you take your online dating profiles from barely any matches to more dates than you can handle.
She’s got amazing content on her blog and her courses, and hopefully, I can supplement that to improve your dating life even more!
Why should you trust me? It’s in the very first part of the post, so don’t worry I’ll tell you why it’s worth your time very quickly. Hope it helps!
Hey there guys!
I’m going to give you a story about my last client, and I want you to guess what I do.
I tell him what to wear, where to go to buy the clothes, and how they should fit exactly.
I go to his house, make him put all his new clothes in my car and say one final goodbye to his dog.
I then take him to a location, far from his house. I tell him the exact position I want his body in, then I shoot him in the face… over and over.
Some kinky domination fetish?
Here’s my last client in the moment I shot him in the face:
I’m a dating profile photographer, the founder of www.DatingUnchained.com. I’ve helped over 120 guys, in 30 cities, in 3 countries, in 2 continents so far create kickass dating profiles and go on more dates.
I charge a lot to help my clients directly, but over the last few years I’ve learned so much about what gets girls to swipe right, and I want to share these lessons with you for free.
Marni gave me the green light to write up an actionable guide. I’ve created this with all the info I’ve gathered from shooting my clients in the face – with my camera – that you can use to get more matches too!
But why improve your dating profile photos?
If you optimize your dating profile, you end up seducing women before a single text.
Read that last part again… BEFORE A SINGLE TEXT.
Yes, having top-tier text game will help more girls meet up with you. But if you seduce them with your photos, you get to sit back, relax, and only try as hard as you want to. Because they’re already into you! They’re already excited to meet up BEFORE A SINGLE TEXT.
“But Joe,” you ask, “I’ve tried so hard to get matches… and my attractive friends have trouble meeting girls from dating apps, even though in person they get really hot girls. Dating apps are broken! Tinder is just out to get your money. 80% of the users are guys, and only the top 1% get matches while every other guy gets nothing.”
You’re not wrong. All these things you said above are true… but what if there was a simple way to be in the top 1%? If you could guarantee you’re the top 1% on Tinder, wouldn’t you get a lot of matches, even with all the issues in the way?
The reason most people don’t use this advice is because it’s simple, but not easy. It takes a bit of practice to apply this advice (or hiring someone like me) and most guys find it easier to half-ass the process and settle with the first or second girl that tickles their pickle.
But that’s not you. You’re a go-getter self-improving beast! You wouldn’t be reading Marni’s stuff if you weren’t. You’re a guy who wants a girl you’re genuinely excited about, not just the first one you think you can get, so I’ll teach you the secrets.
You see, most guys out there are committing a crime against their own dating success when it comes to their profile photos.
For many guys I see, when they start putting effort into their dating profile photos, they perfect their posing style, perfect their stance, and figure out how to look really cool.
Take this photo for example… This is a photo a client I worked with got from a different photographer before we worked together. He perfected his sitting game, and found some cool stairs to sit on. I’m not gonna lie, he looks pretty cool.
Here’s a photo we took together:
Do you notice how different they both FEEL? The first one feels off… sterilized. Like it belongs in a fashion magazine, but not on a dating profile.
The second one feels personal. Like I can feel his vibe, like I see him on the street. Sure, he looks pretty badass in both of them, but there’s an important reason why the second one makes you FEEL something, and the first one doesn’t.
This one missing piece is how you will get more matches after reading this article, more matches than guys who are more attractive and more interesting than you, because they’re stuck taking photos like the first one, and you will know how to add the missing piece and make girls FEEL something in your dating profile photos.
So why don’t cool model looking photos work without this extra missing piece? After all, women like models right? And if you look badass and cool how can they resist?
But here's the harsh truth—it doesn't work as well as you'd hope. Sure, it's a step up from a cringe-worthy bathroom selfie, but it won't take you to as many dates as you like every week with high quality women.
There's a fundamental flaw that's holding you back.
Most guys want to project a badass, in-charge persona. At least that's what they think women want. But it comes across as fake and dull. They’re better than nothing, but they won't get you very far if that’s all you have.
Women need to feel something. Even if they’re looking for something non-commited, they want to catch a glimpse of what it might be like to date you. They crave a sneak peek into how you'll make them FEEL. If you really are put together and badass in everyday life, then great. Put that in your photos, but for most people, they have different sides to themselves… fun, playful, silly, serious, and – yes – badass.
If you look too perfect, too posed, instantly girls can tell that’s not who you really are, and they’ll feel the “fake” and swipe left.
So instead of plastering your profile with images that scream, “Hey, I'm cool here,” “Look at me being a total badass,” and “Check out my boss-like strut down the street,” why not try something different?
Your dating profile should be the best parts of your life… you on your best day doing all the things YOU would do. Not looking badass without any substance, standing there with your arms folded like a model, sitting on a cool set of stairs. It should be you doing the things that get you excited – and giving girls this window into your life will get them to FEEL something about you and get excited to meet up.
Some good examples of pics to get, that add that missing piece – the window into YOU:
- you strumming your guitar like a rockstar,
- reading in a cafe,
- or hitting the gym like Aahnold
Even if you don’t practice these hobbies, there are some things you’re interested in that seem normal and boring to you. What you don’t realize is that you’ve got cool things you do that, portrayed with the right kind of photo, will make girls FEEL something and propel you above all the other guys who try to look just “cool.”
The trick isn’t to totally avoid trying to look like a model, it’s to give girls a window into your life first and foremost, and be able to imagine themselves dating you (or coming over for some exciting fun if that’s what you’re looking for.)
Now, let's dive into more specific strategies for capturing the female gaze:
- Capture your passions on camera. Whether it's paddleboarding or building model trains, show the world what lights your fire.
- Buddy up for the win. Grab some shots with your pals. Try copying this pose, glancing over your friend's shoulder. It puts the focus squarely on you, feels candid, and communicates that you’re a social guy:
- Flaunt your lifestyle. Are you a fitness enthusiast or a globe-trotting adventurer? Showcase those aspects of your life. Let your potential matches FEEL what it would be like to date you:
These kinds of photos will offer women a window into what dating you would be like and make the ladies feel something deep inside. They'll be swiping right, getting excited about meeting you in person – and you’ll get more matches, and your matches will be more responsive to your messages and more reliable at actually showing up to the date! All before a single text, because your photos made them FEEL something.
I hope these tips tickled your curiosity and will help you conquer the dating world with confidence.
And hey, if you want my personal touch to perfect your profile or just want to see what I offer, swing by my website at www.datingunchained.com. Stay charming, my friends!
~Joe Buchoff, Founder of Dating Unchained