I have a exercise for you. This one was inspired by a guy that wrote into me asking about the friend zone and how to get out of it. I told him that the only one who is responsible for YOU being in the friend zone is YOU. And then I gave him an assignment.
I told him to write me 2 lists. 1 list is a list of characteristics of a friend. The other is a list of characteristics of a lover. I told him that once he wrote the list it would be obvious to him where he was going wrong.
Here is his list:
Characteristics of a friend
2) Can talk to when times of emotional needs
3) Be there for personal advice and personal support
4) Can talk about anything of anything
5) Fiercely Loyal
6) Defend my friends no matter what the odds or the enemy even though we be outgunned and outnumber and importantly stand by my friends and defend them, and to lay down my life if/when the time comes
7) Regularly staying in contact
8) Defending my friends' names if someone dares smudge his/her name.
9) Willing to talk anytime when your friends is in trouble
10) Do anything for your friend (as long its within reason and within my power to do so)
11) Defends friends honour
Characteristics of a lover/partner/sexual option
2) Shows Commitment
3) Crazy Fun
4) Very Unpredictable
5) Shows Loyalty
6) Willing to go above and beyond to prove I am worthy of her company
7) Be very proactive for her
8) Put a smile on her face no matter what
9) Defend her honor
10) Be very Challenging
11) Can connect emotionally
12) Brilliant sense of humor
Great list in my opinion. Do you see the subtle difference between friend and lover?
A lot of guys end up in the friend zone because they simply don't present themselves as anything other than a friend. Then, once they are in the friend zone, they get nervous to act any other way and then get stuck. They get stuck because they don't know how to change their behavior so that the woman they want will see them as something more.
Trust me when I say I feel the frustration of anyone in the friend zone. I've been on both ends of this scenario and neither feel nice. But wanting someone silently is definitely worse than having your friend want you.
So I have an assignment for you. It's the same assignment I gave to this guy.
This assignment will help you be clear on how to act with women you want and avoid being stuck in the friend zone. It's a simple assignment that will help you decipher the difference between friend and lover.
I want you to write me 2 lists.
1 list is a list of the characteristics of a friend.
The other is the characteristics of a lover/partner/sexual option.
I know in your mind you know the difference, but I want you to be aware of the differences so that you will never present yourself as a friend, to a woman you want to “DO”, again 😉
This list will help you be clear on how a friend acts vs. how a lover acts.
Make your lists and post them in the comment box below. I want to see what you think the difference between friend and lover is!