Are you not dating as much as you’d like to? You may be shooting yourself in the foot. Learning what NOT to do is just as important as learning what TO do. Click here to learn the four biggest things to AVOID doing when talking to a woman.
Have you ever wished you could be more of an alpha male so you can meet and attract women easier? If so, I get it. This is one of the more common topics that guys ask me about.
There seems to be a narrative out there that if you wanna get laid, you need to make us think you’re this dominant alpha dude. And hey, if that’s naturally who you are, great.
But when guys start using tactics to try and appear alpha, much of the time it backfires.
Instead of sending the signal that you’re a confident alpha male… You’re more likely to come across as a beta male who’s trying way too hard.
So here are four common ways guys think they’re being alpha, but actually turn women off.
Wannabe alphas LOVE to brag about their accomplishments.
“I just closed a 7-figure deal at work today.”
“I can bench more than any other guy at my gym.”
“I’m the best lover any woman has ever had.”
But any time we hear you bragging about something, it usually just makes us think you’re insecure. Why? Because as the saying goes, a rich man doesn’t need to tell you he’s rich.
If you need to try and convince people of something, it will have the opposite effect of what you’re intending.
You may have heard the pickup artist term, “demonstrate higher value”. It’s similar to bragging, but instead it’s done under the radar so as not to seem obvious. The idea behind it is you get across the points about yourself you want to convey, but without seeming like that’s what you’re trying to do.
So take the first point above, “I just closed a 7-figure deal at work today”. A guy who is trying to DHV might phrase it as something like, “So I was at lunch today for this 7-figure deal I just closed, and the craziest thing happened.” Then he might tell an amusing little anecdote of what happened at the restaurant.
The problem with this approach is the point you’re desperately trying to get across usually has no relevance to anything else. For example, the 7-figure deal is of zero importance in the story above.
Women see through this for what you’re really trying to do, and it simply comes off as another form of bragging.
#3 God’s gift to women
It’s no secret that women are more attracted to men if other women are also into them. So if a woman actually sees you with other women, that can work in your favor. But what some guys try and do is manufacture this process.
How? By dropping hints every chance they get that they’re God’s gift to women. A friend of mine who is a male dating coach used to do a version of this until I pointed out how he was coming across.
He’d be chatting to a woman he liked and say something like, “So I was talking to my ex-girlfriend — who’s a stripper — and she was telling me how…”
Instead of making women see him as the alpha guy who dated hot dancers, women actually joked about him behind his back. Oh yeah, the weird guy with the stripper fetish was how he was usually remembered.
So the takeaway lesson here is don’t go out of your way to make it seem like you’re popular with women.
#4 Nonverbal alpha signals
There are certain nonverbal cues that some men use to try and make themselves appear more alpha. This includes things like taking up space, speaking loudly, sticking their chest out, and anything else that makes them appear big and tough.
Now, in moderation, these things can actually be effective. But the problem is some guys go overboard with this. They’ll stand with their legs so far apart that it just looks weird. Or they’ll sprawl out in a chair to take up more space and it’s obvious they’re doing it for effect.
Sometimes they’ll speak so loud that it constantly sounds like they’re yelling. Or they’ll puff their chests out and have their arms out wide as if they have some huge muscles (which are invisible to everyone else) and it looks ridiculous.
Most guys, if not all, have been guilty of one of these four alpha mistakes at some point. The common theme they all share is trying too hard to appear attractive.
But the truth is getting women to notice you and like you DOESN’T have to be that hard. In fact, it can be downright effortless when you make a few simple tweaks.
The last female friend you’ll ever need,