Gifts For Girlfriend At Every Stage Of Relationship
Today is a very special holiday edition newsletter!
Although the advice I offer can totally be used all year round.
The topic for today is gift-giving. I decided to give advice on this because I got an email from Franchesco asking this:
“Marni, I know the holiday time is meant to be fun and stress-free, but I’m definitely not feeling that way. I’m freaking out about what kind of gift to get the girl I just started seeing. I really like her and I want my gift to make her happy and like me more. What do you suggest I get her? Help me wing girl! I feel like this gift is a make or break.”
First of all, I can’t believe we’re even talking about the holidays right now.
Second, if what you get for this girl really is make or break for your relationship. Then no matter what you get her you will be breaking up very soon.
So let's dial it back a bit with rational, calm, clear-headed thinking.
I get why getting a gift for the woman in your life can put pressure on you and even cause stress. It’s not the actual gift itself that stresses you out. It’s the pressure of what the gift may say or must say.
The thing to know about women is that…
The gift you buy them says a lot to a woman.
What you buy for a woman is more than just a gift.
It’s a statement of how you feel towards her and you don’t want to be saying things you don’t mean.
Let's say you've been dating a woman for 6 months and things are going well, you’re having great sex, talk to each other almost every day, and you’ve met each other's families.
From your history and actions with her, you are getting serious and take her seriously.
If you then give her a scarf, not a scarf she said she wanted, just a scarf and some beauty supplies and a candle you’re kind of saying to that girl that’s it’s not as serious as she thinks it is and that she has been misreading all of your signs the whole time.
The gift you give must be in line with how you feel about a woman and must also coincide with your level of commitment to her.
So let me give you a few guidelines as well as a few gift ideas that will help you navigate the “what to get her” waters.
Situation #1 – You just started seeing a girl
You like her, but don’t really know where this is going yet, but you hope it goes somewhere.
For the first situation, you want to be sure to get something for her that shows her you’re paying attention to her, that you like her but that you understand this is still new.
A gift that is semi-personal and is around in the 50 to 100 dollar range. Select something that she mentioned she liked and would love to have. For example, one of those water bottles that keep your water cold for like 24 hours or a wine decanter because she loves her wine.
Steer clear of over personalized things like getting her makeup or buying her clothes.
At this point, you don’t know enough about her yet to know exactly what she would want or get herself. If you get her these types of things she may take it personally and think “does he want me to wear more makeup or does he not like how I dress?”
Situation #2 – I take her seriously and I am committed
This is the part of the relationship when you are past the “I’m not sure what this is” stage. At this point, you know for sure she is someone you take seriously and are committed to.
Get a little more personalized and intimate to show that she’s someone special in your life.
Things that show her that while this is still new, you are taking the relationship seriously and believe there is a future.
Things like jewelry, or making something that has sentimental value behind it like a framed collage of pictures of the two of you. Booking activities that the two of you can do together in the future is a nice touch. Activities like a spa day or a mini-getaway somewhere.
Get her a Fitbit or one of those watches that's a step tracker. Just make sure you also get one for yourself and tell her that it’s for both of you so that you can keep each other healthy.
Again, things you guys can do together that says, “I know you’ll be here in two months and I want you to be.”
Situation #3 – Gifts for a serious live-in girlfriend, fiance, or wife
The following gifts are for women who are a permanent fixture in your life. These are for a girlfriend you live with, a chosen life partner, fiance, or wife.
You know she is yours and you are in it for the long haul.
This is when expressing and showing that you are really listening to her wants and needs is super important and that you know her better than she knows herself.
A guideline for this is to get the one thing that she doesn’t need but would never think to get for herself.
This gift should spoil her because she deserves it.
Other gifts can consist of practical, useful things that you know she likes and shows you know her well.
An example of a “spoil herself gift” would be something that is a little on the pricier side.
For example, something she has been looking at on the internet for months. She keeps adding it to her shopping cart and removing it because she feels guilty spending that much on herself.
Maybe a beautiful jacket, some really nice bed sheets, a piece of jewelry, reservations at a fancy restaurant, a purse, or a watch.
Something she would not buy for herself because she would feel guilty about doing it.
Examples of practical gifts would be buying her favorite fancy makeup. But it has to be the right brand that she uses. Not just some generic one.
Another good idea would be a gift card to her favorite restaurant, a mani-pedi, a day of babysitting, a membership to a wine club. Things that are practical that she uses but also finds pleasure in.
Giving a gift to a woman can be tricky, but it's not something a man should lose sleep over it. Hopefully, this guide brings some peace of mind and sparks ideas for what to get her.
Now it’s up to you to figure out which category your lovely lady fits into. Then you'll know which gifts to get her this holiday season.
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