I'm doing a little research project with a couple of other women. We're conducting a survey of both men and women to discover what attracts women to men.
The other day, I sent out an email to all my Wing Girl Method members asking them what they thought/believed attracts women to men. I gave them the following choices. Was it:
d) Sexual appeal
e) Other … (write your answer here)
Within 2 minutes, the responses started rolling in. It's been about 12 hours and I've already got close to 1000 responses, WHICH I will be going through personally.
I'm seeing some solid, detailed responses and I'm loving reading what guys had to say.
I'll be making a video within the next few weeks with the full findings but in the mean time I wanted to share a couple of responses that have stuck out so far that I know you will find interesting.
Would LOVE to hear your 2 cents on this so be sure to write a comment.
First a sad response that I got from N:
I will be very short and honest. I think that being a jerk and very bad person (criminal, murderer, take your pick) + rich man are 3 most wanted, desired by women. Simply forget good guys, because they are just observers in the sick woman`s world. I am saying this things because I see things like that nowadays. The more crazy and evil you are, the better. No one can persuade me in contrary. There, you have my opinion.
My response to this: Honestly, all I thought was “Yikes. I feel bad for this guy. He must have had some rough experiences with women to think this.”
I hope you don't feel this BUT if you do there are ways to change this. There are ways to change how women see you and how women treat you. Which is what I try to show you with my podcast, newsletters, blogs, products….
If you believe this, then the next response I got will be even more helpful to you. Before reading it I want you to know I agree with everything said.
Response from R:
In response to your quick question of What do YOU think attract women the most to men I decided to write my thoughts on each of the options. I've had a lot of experience with women over the years and this is what i have found:
Money does attract women's attention. The ones worth associating with only gets you a little attention. The ones not worth bothering with gets you a lot of attention. (This also works the other way around with men except some men find women with money, especially self-made, to be emasculating.)
In my experience, looks are helpful but not particularly mandatory for women. You do need to look healthy. You do need to look like you can take care of yourself. (If you can take care of yourself, there is some possibility you can take care of her as well. If you can't take care of yourself there is little possibility you can take care of her. This also is true, at least in my perspective, for men looking for women although men are MUCH more interested in looks.)
Much more important to women than money or looks. It doesn't seem to matter much what your personality is, as long as you own it. This is how jerks get women. They own it and women find that attractive. This is also how geeks, intellects, wimps, and all other personalities get women. What seems to turn women off is trying to portray something you are not. If you are a wimp, and are confident you are a wimp, you will attract women who like wimps (and heaven help you.)
d) Sexual appeal
Yes, there must be some sexual appeal, but for women the appeal seems to be more cerebral than from the gut like men.
e) Other … (write your answer here)
Owning who you are also known as confidence in who you are, whoever you happen to be.
Leading where you want to go and planning how to get there. I think this goes back to when we first started walking upright. This is more important than money (you could have inherited it) as this displays the ability that there will be a continuing source of resources needed to support the family and still seems to be true for post menopausal women which I believe shows how deeply implanted the need is. Men must plan the dates and implement them.
Be decisive, even if wrong, and be willing to change the decision, without drama, if it turns out to be wrong which displays flexibility and adaptability both of which are characteristics that women seem to find reassuring and attractive. Owning your mistakes and correcting them without blaming any other than yourself (and only accepting the blame if in retrospect you should have seen a better alternative but didn't) is also attractive to women.
Character is attractive to women. Personality gets the woman to look at you. Character keeps her. But it must be your character and not an assumed one. Women quickly can sense when you are assuming a character rather than being who you are. It is o.k. (even good) if your characters don't completely match.
Ethics are attractive to a women, especially strong positive ones. They want to have an idea how you will react to any given situation and a strong ethical base (even if the are “bad” ethical practices) and knowing how you will likely react is attractive to women (and men, however women's ethics seem, to me, to be more situational, than men's ethics are.)
You asked, I hope they make sense to you.
Honestly, I could not have said this better myself. One thing that I do want to add on or actually expand on is sex appeal. Being sexual and having sex appeal is key. It's what differentiates you from that guy that we date and the guy we date and DESIRE.
I'm going to continue reading through my responses and will hopefully be making a video with the full results in a few weeks.
In the mean time I would LOVE to hear what you think of both N's and R's responses. Write them below and please share this post with men and women so that I can get more responses.