About a year and a half ago, I was working on creating a reality show (about my business) with a very famous female celebrity. At that time, that girl was single and I of course started to dish out advice, guidance and exercises that I give to 1000's of men around the world every day.
Turns out, the advice that I gave to this girl, although totally meant for men, seemed to also work for her! In fact, she called me up and said “Marni, it's like I have a penis now. I'm taking charge, being direct and asking for what I want”.
This of course, was music to my ears 🙂
Recently, I stared working with an amazing and talented woman named Lainie Speiser, who had a very similar experience. Lainie is the publicist for Penthouse Magazine and is a talented author of books like Confessions of the Hundred Hottest Porn Stars and The Manhattan Madam's Secrets to Great Sex. (available on amazon)
I hired Lainie to help me with some writing for The Wing Girl Method. While diving into my materials, Lainie would tell me that my materials were giving her huge “ah ha” moments. In fact, she let me know that some of the materials really opened her eyes to the dating mistakes she had been making in the past with men.
So now two amazing, beautiful women had told me that my materials were helping with their dating lives!!
Since Lainie is such a talented writer, I asked her if she could write piece on what exactly she had learned. I wanted to share what the wing girl method teaches women. Information that will be very helpful to men. The reason being that I want you to see that:
#1 – It's not as easy for women as you think
#2 – Women make mistakes too!
#3 – Women don't fully understand men, just like men don't fully understand women
#5 – We can be messed up too!
Here's what Lainie wrote:
What This Girl Learned from a Wing Girl
Come February 25 I will have worked behind the scenes as an adult industry as a publicist for 21 years so I think it's safe to say I know a lot about what men want. I have also written six books, mainly books for couples counseling them on how to spice up their sex lives or please your man.
I like to think I know what really lurks in the hearts of all men, no matter what they outwardly say to everybody else. It's my job to get their attention, turn them on and make them stay interested in the product that I am selling, that product being sex and sensuality.
But dating and relationships, that's different. I myself don't like to date and neither do many of the women who work in front of the camera in my industry.
So when I started working with Wing Girl, Marni Kinrys who is a dating coach to men literally all over the world on a writing project I was intrigued and admittedly challenged. Writing about the whole Boy-Meets-Girl thing isn't the same as writing about how to explore your submissive side in a role play fantasy. This is about making the first initial connection with someone on more than a sexual level.
Working on a project with Marni called “What the F do Women Want” became a weird and at times uncomfortable “This is Your Dating Life” journey for me. I was reading about men who talk too much about their pasts, men who are charming but can't go past the jokey banter thing to real substance, men who are scared to touch and men who are creepy touchy/feely way too fast.
I read about men who don't understand that texting a new lady at 11pm on a weeknight makes a woman feel cheap and men who call an hour after they've met us and scare us away.
Men who psyche themselves out because they don't think they're cool or good looking enough and men who think they're too cool and good looking and think we should do all the chasing.
I've had them all, and admittedly since it takes two to tango I've been at fault in stepping on a foot here and there in the man-woman dance. As I would take notes and listen to Marni's audio my eyes got a much clearer perspective on things.
I recently met a man on Match.com. Yes I went on Match. I wanted to meet different types of men and break some of my old patterns that clearly are not working for me. Perhaps spending time with Marni and talking to her on the phone a lot had something to do with that. Not much was catching my interest but one man did, Peter, I will call him here.
Peter is my type, a tall, blue-eyed, boyishly handsome older guy with a conservative job and some conservative outlooks on life, but funny and eccentric like me, and yes definitely sexy. Peter and I were talking online for a spell and when I asked him what he was looking for on Match he went on a long diatribe about all the women he met, what they looked like, how old they were, what had happened.
It didn't offend me but it didn't make me feel wanted either. Plus, he didn't actually answer the question. It felt like half a brag and half a women are nuts kind of conversation.
Then he asked me if I was free on New Year's so he could check me out and “kick the tires.” I did have plans on New Year's with friends, and I told him this. I also told him what I thought of his lengthy descriptions of his love life and wasn't sure if he was truly interested in me and who I showed him I was at this point. Peter surprised me with a phone call that night and he said, “I'm sorry I talk too much sometimes without thinking. I am very interested in you. I think you're pretty and smart and we like a lot of the same things. I would love to meet you and take you out I think we would have a good time.”
I phoned Marni about it and she said she was proud at how I handled Peter, and was even more delighted when I told her that we were going out for the first time that Saturday night to a cigar bar and then dinner. I realized in the past I would have either smart-mouthed the guy hard and alienated him without thinking, or I wouldn't have bothered with him at all. But I didn't do either and after another phone conversation where he told me he went to his Godfather's memorial service the same day I went to my Uncle Freddy's funeral and we had decent connection going, I realized what men really want is for women to nicely tell them what they want. Not just what we want, but what we don't want. What we like and what we don't like. If he doesn't care, he's probably an asshole and move on. But for the most part I've come away with that men are a lot more open to kind suggestion than we think, and just because they are perceived as the stronger sex it doesn't mean that we can't gently steer to show them what makes us tick.
And Peter and I are going on date number four this weekend. What will happen, it's too soon to say and if nothing at all happens that's cool too. But it just goes to show a Wing Girl can teach a this Girl some new tricks.
I love everything that Lainie wrote! But what I love even more was the lesson she learned about men. A lesson many women do not know.
What I want you to take away from this post, is this – We all screw up. Women, men, people. We judge, make quick decisions and get emotional!!!
So before all the nay sayers who typically comment on this blog screaming “why is it all on the man”, now this: Women are not trying to hurt you. Women are not trying to make things more complicated and frustrating for you. They simply don't know better!
So, be a good wing man and help a sister out! Share this blog post with 3 women in your life. They may learn a thing or two about how to be better women!
Learn to be the confident, strong man women want! Check out The Wing Girl Method's instant download program How To Become A Man Woman Want where you'll discover how to make women feel attraction for you and literally feel addicted to being around you.