What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive

What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive?  The answer revealed!

Last night I was partaking in my usual Monday night, guilty pleasure of watching the Bachelor Pad.  In case you don’t know the Bachelor Pad is a spin off of the Bachelor series where they take ex contestants, put them in a house and have them compete for $250,000.  During the competition they are also interacting with the opposite sex and attempting to possibly find love.

Every week I say to myself, I have to show that clip to you. And every week, I forget to do it but this week is different.  This weeks clip was too good to forget about.

I have titled the video clip below: Looks Only Go So Far, What Women Find Attractive and Unattractive.  Many men never believe me when I say that, women will choose personality over looks every time.  Looks can get you in the door, but it’s personality that will keep you there.

My commentary is sprinkled throughout the video.

Watch as Jesse B, who is a total cutie, can INSTANTLY lose Peyton’s attraction and become repulsive.

Get the latest Flash Player to see this player.

Marni’s Commentary: So I am pretty sure some of you are going to say to me “What a bit*h.  She should give him a chance. He made 1 mistake…..”  I have heard this from people before and my answer is always the same.  I tell you how women DO react, not how they SHOULD react.  Based on that theory, Jesse SHOULD have not made these stupid mistakes, but he did. AND what he did, in case it was not clear,  was hurt her feelings because he took away an amazing romantic moment that she thought he was feeling as well.

As a woman, I could feel Peyton’s disappointment because I constantly experience this in my own relationship.  When I am in a romantic mood and turned on by my man and then he does something “dudeish” I get sad.  Sad that the moment wasn’t reciprocated. The thing is that I understand it from the guys POV as well.  I know that when I am with my man and we are really connecting, he gets comfortable with me and when he gets comfortable he lets out his real self.  Sometimes his real self wants to pick my nose or fart.  As much as I should take it as a compliment, I don’t.

Same thing happened with Jesse. Jesse got super comfortable and showed his true self, which is great.  BUT there is a difference between being yourself with the guys and a being yourself with a woman you are on a second date with and trying to date/sleep with/be with. This was Jesse and Peyton’s 2nd date not their 6th year of a relationship.  Therefore Peyton only has the 1st date and this experience to form her opinion of him.  And sadly for Jesse, her opinion is NOT FOR ME.

Let me know what you think.  Post your comment and share your thoughts.

Also, check out my latest product review on Scot Mckay’s newest product The Man’s Approach:

Product Review: The Man’s Approach

Produced By: Scot Mckay of X&Y Communications

Now you may or may not know this but I LOVE Scot Mckay and his materials. Why? Because they are genuine, real and easy to put to practice.  His products and teachings are very in-line with mine.  We both believe that inner confidence and comfort are the driving force for success with women. His newest product, The Man’s Approach, definitely lives up to this reputation I hold for Scot.

The Man’s Approach is the definitive tool kit for the regular guy that doesn’t want to be a pick up artist but a real man.

The first thing I want to say about this product is HOLY SH*T is this packed with content. There must be at least 30 + hours of product materials PLUS tons of bonus materials that include 30 minutes of coaching to the first 50 buyers. Now you would think with all this content it would be extremely overwhelming, but the way Scot has laid out the materials has made it very easy to use.

Materials are separated into clear cut categories so that you can pick and choose the materials you want, when you want them. For example, you want to understand how to pick up a waitress, there is a video dedicated just to picking up waitresses.  You want to know how to ask for a phone number, there is another video just for asking for phone numbers. So even though there is a lot of material it is still very easy to use.

As I said this program provides step by step instructions on EVERY possible scenario you could possibly encounter.  No “Pick Up” routines, or lines, or tricks.  He gives solid, sincere and honest advice that every man can use to succeed with women.

Here are just some of the topics covered through video examples and audio directions:

- Approaching Women

- Starting Conversations & Creating Attraction

- Getting Her Number

- Meeting Women in Various Situations:

- Igniting Femininity – This one is super important

These are just a few of the topics covered in audio format with a written PDF transcript attached.

THEN he has a whole video section as well with visual examples and instructions.

Some of the topics include: How to handle adversity, meeting several women at once, waitresses, meeting women at bars, on the street, at the gym, dating single moms….

Here are preview pics of the a few of video materials offered:

When I say this program covers it all, IT COVERS IT ALL and effectively.

Marni’s Rating: 4.5 Stars

From a woman’s point of view, Scot’s directions are not just spot on, but they are clear and easy to follow for every man. If you are looking for an at home kit that provides step-by-step instructions on how to properly execute: Attraction, Self Confidence, Approaching, Engaging, Connecting, Escalating and Dating then this program is for you.

To find out more about Scot’s program The Man’s Approach Click Here

When Is It Okay To Talk Dirty To A Woman?

When is it okay to talk dirty to a woman?

This is an area that has been fascinating me for the past week after getting an email from one of my clients, who I will refer to as D.

Email:

Marni,

Thanks for all your advice. I am having too much fun now.  I wish I truly understood this side of me in my teens and twenties.  Just knowing exactly what I want and what truly motivates me to pursue.

I am taking your advice on giving my dates a second chance. I didn’t know that you all (women) in general could be so wild. Now, I’m finding out even the shy/boring acting ones are too.  I told this one girl I was on a second date with  in so many words that her perfume smelled like an edible flower that I wanted to devour and from that point 80% of our conversation was sexual (mutually).

what is up with that?;)

D

****

D has been experimenting with flirting, banter and escalating to sexual conversations with women. And I must say, he is doing very well.  What he is learning is that the less he constricts himself on what he CAN say, the more attracted,  excited and open women become.
Why? Because lack of rules mixed with, being attracted and feeling safe, cause a subtle rush of excitement.

I gave D my response but wanted to dive a little deeper with other women in my network. So I sent an email out to about 200 women to ask them their thoughts on when it is okay to talk dirty to a woman, do women like to talk dirty and what did they think of D’s actions?

I got some mixed responses, which I have posted below.  My commentary will be at the end:

J – (26). Truth. Once I have a few cocktails I am up for anything, especially if I am into the guy.  Drunk translates to feeling relaxed and comfortable.  Know what I mean?

A – (40) I’m sorry, this may not be very generous of me, but is this guy 15? He sounds totally ill-equipped to be dating grown women.

Ellen (59) – My response might be relative to how much i have had to drink. un-drunk, 2nd date, i find it creepy; unless that is what you want from the relationship, just sex.  In a relationship, when you feel safe, you can have dirty/sexy talk, why not?

S – (28) That’s a pretty good line. I think it gets a response because flowers conjure up feeling of beauty, delicate-ness, a delicious-ness that every woman wants to feel & have it related to her. Therefore it is not too threatening and very sensual. I would definitely respond to it – #1 – if I was wearing a floral scented perfume (which I usually don’t, so could be viewed as a total come on line) #2 – if I was feeling some chemistry from our 1st date, I’d be open to sexually tinged conversation on the 2nd…

C – (32) – Hmmmm….  For me, I found the email to be sweet.  It sounds to me like this man is exploring his natural impulses of sensuality.  Rather than staying all buttoned-up tight as lots of our societal conditioning can want us to be! Personally…  I’m a big fan of tapping into the more primal energies that I believe are always present…  But not always accessed in our everyday modern lives. I think I would have enjoyed his question as well…  IF…  And this is a big IF…  It came from a pure place of sensual pleasure.  If it came from a creepy place, then of course it would be a different story.  But I think I would have appreciated his creativity, and his risk to break outside of the dating mold. I like, what I call, a little grrrrrrrrr-rr-rr-r-rr in a conversation!

E – (30) He needs to be careful because there is a fine line between saying something to get a rise and sexual harassment. It may be rewarding if the girl is the same way.

JM – (29) If you are into him, it’s hot – not if he is a nerd. That would totally creep me out.

Marni’s Commentary:

Here are my thoughts on the topic.  I truly believe that deep down inside most women crave to be released sexually BUT they want to be released in a safe and secure environment.

Let me explain. Women are more locked sexually than men because of the backlash women constantly receive for being overtly sexual.  Names like whore and slut come to mind.  I think for a lot of women moving past the fear of being labeled is difficult to do. I know that when I was younger I never wanted to be placed in either of those categories. Therefore I held back sexually until I was sure that the man would not take advantage of me and respected me.  Sadly for me it locked me up sexually.

Fortunately I have a partner now who has been able to “unlock” me and help me really experience sex.

Now that I am more comfortable with my sexuality I would love if someone I LIKED talked to me the way D talked to his date. It’s fun, it’s exciting and it’s out of the norm.  I will say that even though I am not a big drinker, a little alcohol would help me drop my inhibitions and fears and I would gladly play along.

Just note that the creepy comment comes up several times in the responses above. There is a fine line between being sexually exciting and creepy.  Be careful not to cross that line. Baby steps, feel out the women you are with. She will tell you how far you can go and how comfortable she is with talking dirty.

TAKE AWAY: Women are open to being sexual, if anything they WANT to be sexual as long as they feel comfortable.

Want to hear more honest and real opinions straight from the mouths of women on sex, attraction, being approached, connecting, dating, relationships and tons more? Then Click Here.

What are your thoughts on this topic?

I would love to hear your experiences, opinions or any questions you have.

How To Be A Woman’s Hero

“Nothing” is the worst word a man can possibly hear coming out of a woman’s mouth. “What’s wrong”, “NOTHING”. But it doesn’t have to be.

I want to tell you what this “Nothing” really means, why we say it and how it has NOTHING to do with you. If you can learn how to handle the “NOTHING” with class, comfort and ease you will be a woman’s hero for life!

I will explain it by using an email that I received from one of my Insider Club Members, E.

*******

Email From E:

Hey Marni,

I’m curious about something.

When you can see that something is a woman’s mind or is troubling her. When you ask her, is something wrong or what’s on her mind? Females usually say ” Its nothing”.
But my gut feeling is that: “nothing” = something she’s not wanting to tell you. If I’m right Marni, what is the best way to handle that situation? or should I just let it go? What’s really happening here?

My Response:

E,

Ah the dreaded “Nothing”, a statement I have made oh so many times.  This “Nothing” is actually quite loaded, but not in the way you think.  I have heard many men label this as a “test” or a way for women to manipulate.  It is neither.  What it actually is, is a statement stemming from discomfort.

“Nothing” means either “You should know and I can’t believe you don’t” or “I am mad at myself for being this mad about X and need your help calming down. I don’t want to be this upset, but I am”. Both come from a place of caring about you, feeling alone and discomfort. Both should be handled in the same way.

Let me step back up for a minute and tell you something about women. Women tend to “think” they are in control at all times. They also aim to be an ideal woman, especially in the eyes of the man they are seeing. When they get into situations where they begin to feel “less than ideal” it creates anxiety. Anxiety that is uncontrollable and sooooo uncomfortable.

When she is seemly sitting and stewing, this is the moment where you can be a woman’s hero OR you can be her punching bag. Ultimately this choice is up to you because it’s really in your control, not hers.

If you wish to be the punching bag, engage her defensively and tell her that what is feeling is irrational/crazy/unacceptable.  No good. Get’s you nowhere but the dog house for a full week.

If you wish to be a woman’s HERO, stay strong, listen, be patient and understand that it’s not ABOUT YOU.  Next, you engage her in a warm way. Not defensive, not attacking and not AFRAID. The last one is most important. If you show any indication that you are afraid or that for one minute you are thinking in your head “this chicks crazy” game over

You say to her “I can tell something is bothering you and I want to talk about with you”. And then you LISTEN to her.

If she still does not budge you say “listen, I want you to be comfortable telling me things. If I have done something to upset you, I want to know so that I can try to not do it again.” Give her a hug if needed.

If she still sticks with the huffing and puffing, that is when you have to have a boundary and you say to her “I can tell something is wrong but I am not going to push it out of you. I will be in the other room and when you are ready to talk, I will be ready to listen to you.” and then leave.

Most likely she will calm down and eventually work up the courage to speak with you. Still be strong, patient and understanding and LISTEN to what she is saying. These are her feelings, they are not meant to hurt you or attack you. They are meant to show you what she is feeling so that you can grow together.

Sometimes in relationships, your partner can make mistakes or they can have a moment of weakness. These are the most important times to show her you still care and can handle her imperfections.  If you handle these situations with class and calmness, these situations will happen fewer and farther between and you truly will be a woman’s hero. Trust me!

Marni
*******

Situations like the one described above can either hurt a couple of bring them closer together.  Next time you encounter the “NOTHING” situation with the girl your dating, take it as a compliment.  Seriously.  Understand that she cares about you enough to feel stress, anxiety and discomfort over you.  If she didn’t care about you and if she was not invested, then these things would not matter to her.

Do you have questions about women that you have always wanted an answer to?  Do you want to know why women do the things they do and how to stop them from doing them to you?

I have put together an amazing new program where you can get access to me and my female advice 24 hours a day. You can become one of my new guy friends and I will safely guide you through your sticky situations with women so that you always WIN and come out on top! Only $1 for the first month plus tons of discounts and bonuses!

Asking Out A Girl: The Proper Way To Do It!

As I have told you before, I have many guy friends.  Guy friends who I love and think are the best guys in the world. And guy friends who can still shock me when I see how terribly they handle themselves with women.  Lucky for my guy friends, they have me to get their female advice from.

I was on the phone the other night with one of my guy friends talking about girls, sex, attraction, love, past relationships and he told me about this girl he had been interested in a long time ago back at college that he happened to see by his office that day. He said that he always regretted not asking her out in college and that he wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass by him again.

So he did some recon work and got her email address. I told him to show me his email before sending it to her. Thank goodness he showed me because it would have been disaster had he sent it.

Our email correspondence is below along with my commentary on how to ask out a girl properly:

Email from friend:

Hey X,

I hope you’re enjoying your summer and BDM’s treating you well.

We never actually speak when we see each other, and I think we should change that.

Let me know if you want to grab a coffee or a drink some time.

Y (My Friend)

********

My Response:

Did you send this yet? Please say you didn’t. Its sweet but it has no oomph to it to get a girl riled up. It can be stronger and more attractive. Seems a little soft. Again it’s good but it can be better.

Marni’s Commentary: Woman are at their peak of attraction when they have the opportunity to feel their most feminine. My friends email was not terrible, it was nice.  But there was nothing to latch onto. No excitement but really sweet.  You want to offer a woman something that she basically has no choice but to say YES to. Not because she was forced to say yes, but because she was intrigued and excited.

Marni

********

Friends Response

I could just say:

Hey X,

Would you like to meet for a coffee one day?

…But I put in the other filler and formality because she doesn’t actually know me. The opening summer stuff is there as polite throat clearing before moving on to the point.

Y (My Friend)

********

My Response:

Don’t be polite. Also say what YOU want. Try it that way.

Marni’s Commentary: I find that when guys are trying to “be polite” they end up coming off as saps, wimps or suck ups. No good, not attractive and does not get the reaction you are looking for from a woman. The more masculine and direct you can be with a woman the better.  This does not mean be a jerk, an a**hole etc.

*******
Friends Response

X,

Got the wave in the Path last week, but we never actually speak when we see each other.  Let’s change that!

Do you have time for a coffee or a drink this week?

Y (My friend)

*********

My Response:

So much better.  Love the let’s change that part but get rid of the exclamation point. Needs one more tweak, but getting there. Does it feel better to you?

Try I WANT as part of what you say. I want to get to know you better or I want to take you out or I want to change that.

Marni’s Commentary: In the beginning stages of dating it’s about YOU. What YOU want, what YOU are looking for.  You do not know HER yet, so the person to take care of is you.  Therefore do not be ashamed or fear that you are being too obvious with what you are asking for.  Being DIRECT AND HONEST will always get you the best results. YOU want to date her. YOU want to sleep with her. YOU want to go for coffee.  So say it. Say what you want

*******

Friends Response:

Got the wave in the Path last week, but we never actually speak when we see each other.  I want to change that.

Do you have time for a coffee or a drink this week?

Y

*******

Marni’s Response:

Love this!!!  Send

*******

Friends Response:

Subject: I Owe You One

This is what she wrote back to me 10 minutes after I sent:

Hey Y,

yes the Path seems to be such a social place these days! I am always running into familiar faces.  I’d be down for a coffee break this week – any day but Thursday works for me!

*******

Marni’s Response:

Yay!!!! Send me your response before you write back.

*******

Friends Response:

Ok great, let’s do Friday. I had to run out of the office this afternoon and only just got home. I’ll tell you about it Friday, but it will likely make tomorrow super busy for me.

Are you able to get away 2:30ish Friday?

- I feel bad because I did not get her email till just now which is 4 hours after she wrote.  Should I just write tomorrow.

*******

Marni’s Response:

Nooo!!!!!  I hope you didn’t sent that. You are pouncing, throwing up on her.  You can tell her about your great day when you see her.  No need now.  In response to your last comment, you have a life, you are busy, you work hard, therefore all your energy does not need to suddenly shift direction for this girl.  You will get back to her when you get a chance to.  Wait until tomorrow and write a direct email saying you will meet her at XYZ at this time. Done. Direct =’s Sexy.  Lots of words and fluff =’s a future of her crying on your shoulder about other guys.  Get my point.

Marni

Marni’s Commentary: My friend took my advice and they are now on their date.  Listen, the first email my friend wrote to this girl may have gotten a response, it may have even gotten him on a date. It was not a horrible email but it wasn’t attractive.  It was nice and polite.  My friend has a habit of caring too much how he appears to women and goes over the top nice with the ones he likes.  This email exchange coupled with a confident, comfortable, genuine character at coffee =’s masculine, attractive, sexy to a woman.  It gets him the response, the date and the butterflies in the girls stomach.

Do you want women to find you attractive and give them butterflies rather than giving them a new male shoulder to cry on?

I have put together an amazing new program where you can get access to me and my female advice 24 hours a day. You can become one of my new guy friends and I will safely guide you through your sticky situations with women so that you always WIN and come out on top!  Click Here to Find Out More

Guide To Selecting The Proper Accessories For Men

Last week you I introduced you my wonderful, attractive stylist friend Erin, who told you what to wear for summer dating.  This post is a follow up to that piece.  It tells you what to wear for summer dating when dealing with accessories.

Most men don’t realize how much fashion choices impact their success with women. Whether you need the right look for that first date, special event or just a night out at the bar, it is important to look your best. Looking your best is another helpful tool for feeling your best.

Listen, if I am totally into a guy, it doesn’t matter what he wears, at least not in the beginning.  But as a woman, if I am ever “sitting on the fence” little things like their style and accessories come into play.  They can either make me more attracted or turn me off completely.

Don’t give women a chance to waiver! Read the Erin’s list of fashion do’s and don’ts to ensure you always select the proper accessories.  If you want to find out more about working with Erin one-on-one CLICK HERE.

What To Wear For Summer Dating – Accessories Every Man Must Have

Shoes:

While snake skin or square-toed shoes were once considered in vogue currently they are not. Right now the trend is the “winged tip” or “oxford” look.  Boat shoes have also made quite the comeback. For a more casual look you could either wear a sneaker or a sandal. Low top black Converse All Stars have proven to be the classic sneaker of choice. Also the cream colored sneaker shown is a great option for dressy casual events. Do not wear flip-flops unless at the beach.  Avoid hiking inspired looking sandals completely. Instead opt for a classic simple leather criss-cross sandal that hugs the foot. I prefer a dark brown leather sandal to a light colored one.

Jewelry:

Stay away from novelty necklaces, dog tags, puka shells and anything that lights up. Men should keep their jewelry simple and understated. Preferably your jewelry will have some sentimental value, which will make great for a conversational piece. Also a bold watch is an excellent way to “flash” with out being “flashy”.

Sunglasses:

If you can afford to spend a little extra on sunglasses I would say this is a wise investment. Avoid pairs that have a hologram reflection, colorful tint, that have a huge logo on them or that wrap around (Oakly’s). Instead opt for an aviator, Wayfarer or other such style-savvy shape.

Grooming:

Maintenance should be on your regular to-do list for life. Men’s hair should be cleaned up every three weeks, and nails need to be trimmed every 10 days. Facial hair can either work for you or against you. Do not overly “man-scape” your face. A five o-clock shadow is much better than a perfectly trimmed beard. You want to appear masculine and rugged. Think George Clooney. Smooth skin is also a necessity. I notice that a lot of men have dry flaky skin or oily skin with blackheads. You must own a good skin scrub. This will help you clean your skin and will rid you of dry flakes and black heads. Also pick up some crest white strips and a pack of gum. With modern technology there is no excuse for yellow teeth and bad breath.

Hair:

Hair is like fashion. It is always changing. Make sure that you have an updated cut and are not stuck in a time warp holding on to the glory days. I would suggest to stop going to Super Cuts and would opt for a trendier salon. Hair is very important and it’s best to leave this up to a professional. Avoid using gel, hair spray or mousse. Pomade, wax and sculpting paste are better products that will give you the right texture for your hair. If you have thinning hair longer hairstyles only serve to accentuate what’s already gone, but a closer crop will maximize coverage. Whatever you do, do not comb it over! Also avoid using too much hair product. Strands of hair end up clumping together only to bare all for world to see. So use sparingly.

Do you want to know if your style is holding you back from attracting and getting the right girl?

Click Here to find out what you can do RIGHT NOW to improve your look and increase your success with women!

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