Best Online Dating Profile Ever

best online dating profileWant to see the best online dating profile ever?? It’s freakin’ awesome.

It’s unique, shows leadership, oozes confidences and made me laugh out loud, twice.

Check out THE best online dating profile ever:

I’m an ***hole.  I won’t open doors for you, in fact be careful as I will likely trip you as you go through the door for laughs and giggles.  I expect you to cook for me and clean up my mess after I eat.  And by the way, I’m a really messy eater.  Food everywhere, on the floor, in my lap, but these are the least of your worries.

I leave my socks on the floor in the bedroom, and yes they stink.  I will not do laundry, and insist that you do it.  Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it.  Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert.  Look forward to it like you look forward to seeing your family after years of separation.  I think you get the picture.

Also I don’t do romance, I expect action on the first date, big time action, and I won’t sleep over (yes this will be at your place because I don’t want you to know where I live).

POF (Plenty of Fish) says that I should also talk about these four points so as I don’t waste my time and be successful here, so let me address each one:

1. Talk about your hobbies. – kicking puppies
2. Talk about your goals/aspirations – finding a rich woman to take care of me
3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique – I’m not unique in the least bit
4. Your taste in music – The Cranberries, Enya, Mazzy Star, ****cat Dolls, Indigo Girls

OK girls, waiting for your emails…go

So now it’s my turn to answer the question that is running through your head. “WHY?? What is it about this profile that works? Isn’t this guy being a jerk?”

No. Not at all. He is having fun, doing what he wants and is making his own rules. Super sexy and very attractive. When I read this profile, I instantly felt attraction towards the guy writing it. Truth is the first sentence kind of threw me off, but as I continued reading, my attraction began to grew.

What this profile says to me, as a woman, is:

– This guy is fun and exciting

– He is open to taking risks and is okay with failing.

– He doesn’t NEED my approval

I see so many guys make the mistake of writing their profiles FOR women, rather than FOR themselves. This guy wrote his profile for himself knowing, that if a girl didn’t like this profile, he probably wouldn’t have liked the girl.

The feeling I got when I read his profile was, This guy is okay with our without me and he will not attempt to impress me by being someone he’s not.  AMAZING!!

Again, the best online dating profile ever.

I was so intrigued by this guy that I contacted him and asked him what made him write a profile like this.

His response was:

“haha yea at first i wrote a regular profile, then i read it over and i was like ‘this is so freaking boring’. So i thought i’d try something different. Something I wanted to write that would make me laugh.  And it worked. I got a TON of emails from cool women.”

He and I talked a little more and I immediately got a sense of his full character. It was great to see that he was much more than just a funny, goof, who only knew how to banter.  He was also genuine, intelligent and overall well rounded, good man with plenty to offer.

Had he just been a goof ball with nothing else to offer it would have been really disappointing.  It’s very similar to meeting a guy, that can only banter but has no idea how to make a real connection.  That behavior is exciting for a night and maybe even a week, but longer term it’s a huge turn off. So not everyone could pull off this profile.  In order to effectively pull off this kind of profile, you have to have the goods to back up with.

A profile like this one requires confidence, comfort and balance. As I said above, this guy wasn’t a clown. He actually had an amazing character to offer once the joking was set aside.

So here’s a challenge for you…give a profile like this a try.  Have fun with it, be loose and casual…and watch as the emails come rolling in from girls wanting to know more, and from girls telling you that you made them laugh.  If you aren’t a member anywhere, go use, it’s free and very popular…what do you have to lose?

My beginners, online dating course can then really help you take your online game to the next level.  From helping you reply to emails, to asking for the date, to meeting in real life, it covers everything to help you succeed with women you meet online…it’s all here:

As a bonus you will also receive an assessment from me on your current profile. Find out exactly how women are responding to your profile and get directions on how to make it more appealing to women. Go get it now:

More and more people are meeting through online dating sites. In fact a recent statistic showed that nearly 30%, of all new couples in the United States, meet ONLINE. Realistically the number is way higher, because 50% of all people who use online dating don’t admit it 😉

So get online and make sure you are doing it correctly 😉

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    • Admin

      You are awesome! Thanks for doing that.

      • tony boroni

        yr awesome to.

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    • Admin

      Much appreciated!!! I will check out your blog.

      • tony boroni

        that would be good.

  • Great article Marni, the guy definitely has the Tucker Max thing going and based on what you say, the confidence to back it up. Like the way you break it down why this appeals to you as a woman instead of just saying something like, this is a great profile. It’s a good reminder for us guys of how things are…

    And by the way, like the new website design and your pic up on the header instead of that funky cartoon drawing!

  • Well said. BTW – looks great on my iPhone, but on the Blackberry Pearl’s browser your site comes out a little funky.

    • Marni

      good to know. Thanks for letting me know 🙂

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  • Chris

    Absolutely… most guys are afraid of “offending” people, especially women. Then they act like a Mister Rogers clone and bore the crap out of them. 😀

    You won’t find this guy at Kingdom Hall…

  • Just bookmarked this site with my jumptags account .. thanks

  • Love you, Marni. Wouldn’t recommend this as an online profile, however. While he certainly doesn’t seek approval, his edgy attempts at sarcasm will easily alienate even more women than he attracts. You can write something compelling, confident and funny without going as far as this guy did. Credit to him for breaking the mold, but I would not want your readers to think that this is an effective paradigm to be copied. It’s not.

    Thanks for listening.


  • Yea shoot me a email when you can please, so I can give you the info on what I did. I just done it a couple hours ago, so I should have some feedback by the time you get back with me. I really want you to see it and would love your personnal opion on it.ty

  • Versi

    Looks like a gamble with dating but I can see why it would appeal to some women. He’s basically weeding out those that take themselves too seriously, because he’s clearly a down to earth guy, so women matching his character will probably see through his clever profile disguise. But it seems so…wrong, like swimming upstream. Funny how life works 🙂

    Great article Marni, had a good laugh.

  • Brian

    On principle I agree with your commentary on this individual’s profile. I agree that there is a group of women who have an appreciation for this type of wit, humor, and sarcasm. Indeed when I first jumped on the online dating train I created my profile as a narrative that took the form of a story. I was attempting a differential approach and I found some success with it. However, what was missing there and what is missing here are two important factors: the profile as an invitation to discourse and the profile that transcends social stratification and social boundaries. Here this individual has created a profile that will inevitably speak to some women as it spoke to you. However, titling it the ‘best profile’ is misleading and does a great disservice those individuals who take online dating seriously because for every woman this profile attracts it will inevitably detract one.

    There are no laws that govern attraction and purporting that one might find success through any one model is merely rhetoric.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Hi Brian

      Thanks for taking the time to write such a detailed comment. I do agree that there is no ‘magic bullet’ profile that will guarantee success with every woman; as we’re all different individuals and different women have different tastes. However, there are some principles here that are universally great for guys to incorporate into their dating website profiles:
      > Writing a profile that is for you and about you- not pandering to her
      > Writing a profile that shows that you are a fun guy who sees the fun in life
      > Showing that you are fine to take risks, don’t feel the need to have everyone’s approval… because you’re happy being you. 🙂

  • Connor Keating

    Indeed online dating has become so popular these days that everyone does it. I actually spend a good half of my day yesterday on some top rated dating sites and I can’t say I was bored or disgusted by what I saw there.

  • Kevin

    I’ve been getting so fed up trying to write a good OKCupid profile,Since trying to write like the “Adam Gilard way” wasn’t working for me,one woman I asked online to review my profile for me and she said “it’s unoriginal” Which really bothered me,So I actually wrote a profile that made me laugh my ass off.

    Here it is, I wrote it when I was “kind out of it”
    My self-summary

    If you’re here because I sent you a message then..Congratulations! You’ve been selected! Now continue reading since I know I only have another 5 seconds to hold your attention. I’m extremely wealthy, I own a mansion up on a cliff that over looks the Pacific Ocean on the West Coast of California that has the most incredible sunset you’d ever lay eyes upon….Pffffttt!! Come on now,You don’t wanna hear what I have or don’t have!

    I know what you want…you just want me to say how much I like pets,that I have a passion for life and holding deep stimulating conversations that challenge and intrigue you. of course none of those qualities matter or hold much weight if you don’t find me attractive, so you’ll just browse through the pics and won’t even read this cause let’s face it, hardly anyone reads profiles which is why I’m checking to make sure you are, If you got this far AND have looked at the pics…High Five!

    You’re looking for that “spark” that “connection” that “Mr. Holy Shit I want him!” Funny, how you can feel all or any of those things by reading a profile…online…on a 2D computer screen…with the person not in front of you…if you can, then teach me that skill, I’m open to learning!

    I just woke up about an hour ago and took a long smelly dump in the bathroom and now here I typing out this profile…gotta be honest right? Yes, I washed my hands. I have no idea where I plan on going with this profile, I’m basically just typing out what comes to mind while I sit in my living room of my apt at 2:30pm in the afternoon on a Sunday.

    Christmas is almost here,I should get myself something. What are you going to get yourself this year? You did remember to buy yourself something this year right? Rather than sending me hate mail about my profile, send me an email and tell me what it is you got yourself for Christmas, Let’s face facts, You take care of everyone all year long but who takes care of you?

    What I’m doing with my life

    Living it actually, I guess this question is supposed to mean “What ambitions you have? I don’t know why they just don’t come right out and say it rather than being general or beating around the bush. I like comics and stuff, and I want to self publish this murder thriller graphic novel I have in the back of my head. I already have my “career” So it’s not like I’m going to spice this up and say “I’m going for my PH.D In Rocket Science!!!” just to try and impress people on here, But I’m not fake, I’m real. I don’t exaggerate, especially on my OKCupid dating profie.

    I’m really good at

    Sticking my head in refrigerator as if something is going to appear from the last time I opened the door 5 minutes ago. I’m good at a bunch of other stuff, but I’ll leave you in suspense and let you find that out on your own,Why spoil the mystery?

    I like to go saltwater fishing but I haven’t gone in a long time ever since I caught Moby Dick, I want to go and fish up Jaws next, but I’m going to need a bigger boat.

    The first things people usually notice about me

    How much plastic surgery I’ve had done…Not bad for a guy who has survived a grizzy bear attack 4 times, been swallowed by an Anaconda twice ( I fought my way out) Been shot in the face 79 times by an M-16 machine gun and fought off an entire city police department with my bare hands all because I ripped off a mattress tag and they wanted to arrest me for it.

    Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

    I don’t read books, I read comic books, since comic books are non-fiction, Who wants to read something that’s made up? For example, Spider-Man lives in New York,That’s a fact…you can look that up and find the answer.

    Music : Bruce Springsteen is pretty much all I listen too, I’ve been to 3 of his concerts and at all 3 concerts, he pulled me up on stage and we danced to “Dancing In The Dark” like I was Courtney Cox, after the show he wrote me a big check and said that I can write a better online dating profile on than he can.

    TV Shows: I really miss the show “The Wonder Years” and Married w/Children. Family Guy and The Simpsons are great too since they are pretty much what my sense of humor is all about…not the joke this profile is turning out to be.

    Food: I’m a guy, I’ll eat what you put in front of me.

    The six things I could never do without

    I’m not going to bore you tears listing a bunch of stuff that only I care about…I mean really…Do you really care that I could never do without my toilet bowl?

    I spend a lot of time thinking about

    How much time I wasted writing this profile and If I’m wasting your time as well….another high five if you’ve gotten this far, you’re doing great! Keep up the good work! You’re almost done!

    On a typical Friday night I am

    I’m usually out fighting crime between the hours of 12am and 4am, running across rooftops, swinging through the city, chasing down bad guys and dodging gun fire and taking down crime bosses since I’m such a do-gooder. I’m rescuing cats out of trees, helping old ladies cross the street, and give my hard earned cash to the poor.

    I drag race on Sundays. I race for pink slips, Therefore, I’m always having to buy a new car.

    When I’m alone on Friday nights

    I like to take walks but I can’t walk too far since I’ll fall off the face of the Earth, cause everyone knows the world is flat.

    The most private thing I’m willing to admit

    I have cooties….I’m taking a prescription for it and am doing quite well for myself…gotta think positive!

    I’m looking for
    Girls who like guys
    Ages 22-36
    Near me
    Who are single
    For long-term dating, short-term dating

    You should message me if

    Send me a message if you want too and you don’t take everything so seriously and can take banter as well as dish it out.

    • Ryan

      You have exactly the right idea but it’s WAY too long. Cut out two thirds of it.

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  • tony boroni

    Ive put it to the test on oasis active one almost the same as your one Mani, you should check it out people smallimporters, it about looks its got nufing to do with Wat you say as long as you make yr point and not be a dickhead, its not Wat you say, if your not her type its always a no fk off u know that or they want even stop and talk lol,,,,, 2 the profile was unsuccessful that means all along i was right, yr methods don’t work…………. really if i went up to you and said all that shit would you fk me Marni,,,, go sell something that actually works rather then crap, you should be teaching how to get numbers fast and how to date a girl fast you dont know nufing yr ok looking so all this shit may work for you and yr rich and successful so that’s why it might work for you and guys are easy then girls to get cuss girls are more fussy, i got the first bit all sorted but the second is pretty difficult to figure out, if you want a number in 30 to 60 seconds, but then it takes a month of taking to go out with her, say something like this it works, for a girl who walks down the street walking to work, you would say excuse me, it makes them think you want directions???? shock them by say wow you look so amazing, after that say Wat you like to do, they might say i like to smoke the shisha, after that ask them Wat flavor they like, they may say lime,, say you like that exact same shit,,, wow me to, after that say hey i goto go but i get yr number really fast and we will go for a shisha next week take care cya, get there number and go for a shisha maybe you need 8 fun visits before you get her its a month or 2 of hard work you might need 3 before one will date you,,, it will get you maybe 2 girls a year to 3 it will take 50 to 100 girls to get a girl friend we are looking at a hard 30 years to find a compatible chick its a fucking nightmare but thats a wogs life for ya try be one off uss,,,, but anyway u getting the number is 50% successful if yr OK looking ugly maybe one in every 5 if ye hot 90% success rate to getting a number with this proven to work method but the problem is my methos only mostly works with girls from over sees and im not the best at talking so half way through the dates or trying to get a dat from the numbers is pretty heard so i only get about 2 a year then a week later there gone. pure honesty the only way yopu can pick up is if you fit the right look that means being of English Irish or from the pacific islands background,s the southern Europeans Greeks Turks Italian’s and the Indians have it the worst wen it comes to trying to pick up chicks im on oasais active i’m not ugly i am maybe a 6ish in looks and it takes 100s off adds b4 one excepts to talk all my auzzi mates its like 1 in 5 1 in 10 ……. ….

    • billmoore

      What the fuck did you just say?

      Do you speak any English? Because, this is NOT English.

  • tony boroni

    i love you Marni

  • tony boroni

    i love you Marni your the best ever.

    • Marni Wing Girl

      Thanks Tony 🙂

  • JayHoShow

    That profile looks like it was on reverse steroids compared to this guys profile I have here for you!!! Talk about an attractive man, THIS guy’s POF profile will wet your panties in two different ways, and leave you wondering how many women this guy been inside. Oh, don’t forget to watch yourself judge him with your jealousy while making excuses for your own insecurities.. Yes, its that powerful.. It’s a MUST SEE for anyone who likes a handsome, cleaver, quick witted, fun and totally funny guy…

    Search POF for: FunnyFitandFun


    here’s the link:

  • Mr Blobby

    Textbook… but I can’t tell if the author it just trying to sell me Pick Up, or if she’s genuinely been picked up by a Pick Up Artist but doesn’t realise it.

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  • WhoFarted?

    I’ve never written a ‘normal’ profile on the dating sites… all mine are ‘shockers’ to those who don’t have a sense of humour. I get a lot of replies and all of them think my profile is a breath of fresh air.

    Depressed alcoholic on parole with 9 kids to 7 mothers. Recovering from years in juvenile detention, ADHD medication and restraining orders making me only able to live in one suburb.

    I hope to get a job one day but my memory loss from falling from a hot air balloon on my wedding day makes it hard to wake up before midday.

    I like to travel but tend to find it’s a necessity rather than a holiday to keep ahead of the debt collectors.

    I like a clean house despite sharing with a few of my crack addicted house mates.

    Perfect Match
    Someone who won’t burn my house down, someone who can see the good in being
    left stranded on dates and likes to shout me dinner when I do turn up.

    But mostly someone who is willing to be there for me throughout all my methadone treatments, crack binges and court appearances. Would be nice to have you hang around for the long term to pick me up from prison too.

  • Urusigh

    So, honestly, this guy pisses me off. I wan to slug him for being yet another example of “act like a jerk = get girls”. I don’t see anything honest, clear, or direct about that profile. I don’t care for shock jock tactics. It’s almost conformist how every attempt to prove “I don’t care what other people think” all look the same. So I guess I don’t “get” the joke. I’m too serious.

    So I’m looking for a way to make this work.

    You say below to do the following:

    > Writing a profile that is for you and about you- not pandering to her
    > Writing a profile that shows that you are a fun guy who sees the fun in life
    > Showing that you are fine to take risks, don’t feel the need to have everyone’s approval… because you’re happy being you. 🙂

    A profile for me? You mean upfront, honest, and direct about what I am and what I want? This would be easy except that I actually do self-identify with such “cliches” as “a gentleman and scholar” and “hopeless romantic” I, as an individual, have the dubious pleasure of making my way through life as a genuinely nice guy with an active intellect, old-school manners, and a love for the old romances. I feel like I’m the “Where’s Waldo” of romance, the guy lost in the crowd, Eminem puttin’ out to all his imitators that they best sit down. What’s it take to stand out when all the crowd is tryin’ look like me, sound like me, and they don’t get that it’ll get them blown off like me?

    A funny guy? Well yeah, I am, but looks aren’t everything. Self-depreciating sarcasm, that’s the ticket! Women will absolutely love a man so self-sufficient that he even provides his own criticism. Yeah, right.

    Yep, totally happy being me. Stone-cold logical, analytical, and theoretical, with a side of heartfelt expression of human empathy. Absolutely hate acting without sufficient information to make intelligent decisions and the expertise to succeed. Nothing to do with other people’s approval, or lack thereof, I personally disapprove of making bad choices through ignorance and impatience. Call me an altruist, but I actually enjoy being kind and supporting to people without expecting anything more than a simple “thank you” in return. My collection of well-read comic books, my xbox game save files, and my penchant to quote everything from Greek philosophy to Star Wars will definitely get me the kind of girlfriend I can introduce to my weekly board game buddies and play-by-post D&D pals. Yep, I’m sweet as plain vanilla and thus as invisible as a cubicle-cloth suite at the office.

    So I’d appreciate a tip or two on how a geek guy like myself can write like this on such a closed book topic as me and still get responses from interested women. For added challenge, I can’t post a photo of myself online for occupational reasons. Yep, Adam’s entire article on that topic is useless to me.

    Opinions and advice welcome (from Wing Girls and audience alike), you can’t possibly know less about online profiles than I do. Heck, I didn’t even have a FB account until last year. I’ve got rhino-skin, give me your worst.

  • Hockinbock

    Yeah this doesn’t work. I tried it and I hate to say if you aren’t an attractive guy to get them to look at your profile it does no good. Women are 150% all about looks and any one of them that says it’s not are full of it and it is just said so they don’t look bad.

    • bingbingwa

      I was doing online dating for 10 years, and I fully agree. There was even a study where women on OKCupid rated 80% of men as ‘below average’, so unless you are in the top 20%, then GOOD LUCK.

      Just go MGTOW and save yourself a lot of time and expense!

  • Eb6287

    Half the women on that website lived with an asshole like the guy described, how the hell is that funny?

  • Wesley

    Made two accounts and used the same line ” I’ve got balls of steel.” when I hid my pics I got ignored or a weird reply.I look really attractive and am really fit, after I showed them I got reply after reply of lols and “interesting questions.”It doesn’t matter what your messages or profile says. It’s all about looks. That’s it.

  • Yureon

    I just made a profile like this yesterday. “I’ll let everyone know when the emails start rolling in.”

    • Yureon

      Ok it’s been three days since I put my profile up modeled after this one and the emails have been pouring in…in fact I have zero… Oh I counted the number of ones I sent out 113 not a single reply…

      • Yureon

        Ok another update… I changed my photos had some new recent ones changed my headline and profile I have sent 212 emails and HAVE NOT received a single reply let alone getting messaged first… So 313 emails in two weeks and NOTHING!

  • Schultzy beckett

    Kind of nice and cuddly. Quite thoughtful. Fewer idiots. Fewer writers and
    stuff and more accountants, which is fine, but you get my point. My best mate
    (ex-Online Dating Rejector) met her boyfriend on it and neither of them are
    cuddly. Or nice, come to think of it. Still, I like them, and they’ve just
    moved in with each other after a year.

    Schultzy @