You know what sucks for you about being a man?
When you’re a man, you can say one thing to a girl and she’ll LOVEEE you for it. But when you the say EXACT SAME WORDS to another girl, this other girl may just freak out at you.
Even worse, she can yell at you…
Look at you with disgust…
And she can make you feel like YOU’RE being an a-hole. When really, all you’re doing is something pretty innocent – like asking for her number.
Here’s an example of Hollywood actress Brie Larson who lost her cool when a guy asked for her number. Last week, Brie tweeted:
(A TSA agent is one of those guys who checks your passports at the border)
In a short few days, this tweet had over 4,722 shares. And in the world of Twitter – that’s a whole lot of shares!!
What these shares mean is there are a lot of women out there who feel the way Brie does.
Do you want to know what I thought when I saw this tweet?
I thought, good job TSA agent for taking your chance with Brie Larson!!!! He didn’t grab her. He didn’t push once she no… and he certainly did not shame her for turning him down.
In my opinion it was not assault or cause for defense at all. BUT for Brie it was. And no matter what my opinion is on the matter, I can’t debate how she felt or what she experienced.
After doing a little digging, I found out that assault and harassment have been very prevalent in Brie’s life which is why she was/is so sensitive about it. This however is not the TSA agents fault. Nor did he have knowledge of this.
I would still applaud the TSA agent for taking his only opportunity. BUT I would add in one little caveat of advice for both the TSA agent and for you.
DO NOT ask a woman out unless you have established some kind of verbal or non verbal rapport with her.
A.K.A context for WHY you are asking her out.
For example, you guys have been making eye contact and exchanging smiles.
Or you guys had a brief exchange of words but in those moments you were able to flirt with her and she laughed at something you said.
Not just “hand me your passport. BTW can I have your number?”
A woman can feel objectified when you ask for her phone number too soon.
I can’t properly explain this in words to you, but when a man has done this to me, my automatic response is to protect myself by covering up my body. It instantly happens before anything properly registers in my head.
Whether it be crossing my arms and leaning back. Or pulling my shirt up so that my cleavage is not revealed. Or putting something up in front of me. It’s my automatic reaction to an uninvited approach that’s happened to soon.
Hence the creepy label that you’ve heard way too often.
The truth is that it’s not really YOU being creepy or a creep. It’s the lack of substantial interaction prior to the advance.
So here’s what to do instead…
Talk to a girl for a minute before you ask for her number.
Let her see who you are as a person before going straight for the number ask. AND get to know a little bit about her. Granted that little bit may just be that she has a great smile and seems to be attracted to you 😉
I don’t want some girl tweeting like this about you.
Now if you want the ABSOLUTE best way to get a girls number without ever getting rejection, you need to flirt. It’s the only way to make those 30 seconds be enough to initiate a number ask.
So how do you flirt?