Christmas is right around the corner and if you haven’t started thinking about gifts for the woman in your life, you are already WAY behind.
Which is why when I got this email from Franchesco I knew I immediately had to share my response to him, with you. It is going to help you navigate holiday gift giving like a champ!
Here’s Fran’s email:
“Marni, I know the holiday time is meant to be fun and stress free but I’m definitely not feeling that way. I’m freaking out about what kind of gift to get the girl I just started seeing. I really like her and I want my gift to make her happy and like me more. What do you suggest I get her? Help me wing girl. I feel like this gift is a make or break.”
First of all, I can’t believe we’re even talking about the holidays right now. Didn’t we just do this a couple of months ago? I swear every year goes faster and faster.
Second of all, if what you get for this girl really is make or break for your relationship, no matter what you get her, you’re going to be breaking very soon.
So let’s dial it back a bit and calm down and get to thinking rationally before you have a heart attack.
I get why getting a gift for the woman in your life can put pressure on you and even cause stress. It’s not the actual gift itself that stresses you out. It’s the pressure of what the gift may say or must say. And the thing to know about women is that the gift you buy for them says a LOT to a woman.
What you buy for a woman is more than just a gift. It’s a statement of how you feel towards her and you don’t want to be saying things you don’t mean.
For example, if you’ve been dating a woman for 6 months and things are going well meaning you’re having great sex, talk to each other almost every day, you’ve met each others families. From your history and actions with her, you are getting serious and take her seriously.
If you then give her a scarf, not a scarf she said she wanted just a scarf and some beauty supplies and a candle… you’re kind of saying to that girl that’s it’s not as serious as she thinks it is and that she’s been misreading all of your signs the whole time.
The gift you give, must be in line with how you feel about a woman and must also coincide with your level of commitment to her.
So let me give you a few guidelines, as well as a few gift ideas, that will help you navigate the “what to get her” waters.
Situation #1 – New Relationship A.K.A Just started dating
You just started seeing a girl, you like her but don’t really know where this is going to go just yet but you hope it goes somewhere.
For situation #1 you want to be sure to get something for her that shows her you’re paying attention to her, like her but that you understand this is still new.
A gift that is semi personal and is around $50ish dollars. Select something that she mentioned she liked and would love to have. For example one of those water bottles that keeps your water cold for like 24 hours or a wine decanter because she loves her wine.
Steer clear of over personalized things like getting her make up or buying her clothes. At this point you don’t know enough about her yet to know exactly what she would want or get herself and if you get her these types of things she may take it personally and think “does he want me to wear more makeup or does he not like how I dress?”
Situation #2- Committed but still pretty new relationship
Situation #2 is when you are past the “I’m not sure what this is” stage and have jumped into she’s someone I take seriously and am committed to.
For situation #2 you want to go a little more personalized and intimate to show that she’s someone special in your life. Things that show her that while this is still new, you are taking what you guys have seriously and there is a future there.
So things like Jewelry, something you make that has some kind of sentiment behind it like a framed collage of pictures of you guys. Or even activities that the two of you can do together in the future like a spa day for the 2 of you, a concert, a mini trip somewhere for the 2 of you.
Even a fit bit or one of those watches that tracks all your steps. But make sure you also get one for yourself and tell her that it’s for both of you so that you can keep each other healthy.
Again, things you guys can do together that say “I know you’ll be here in 2 months and I want you to be.”
Situation #3 – Deep In A Relationship
Situation #3 is for the women in your life that are now permanent fixtures like your live in girlfriend, finance or wife.
At this point you know she’s yours but that excitement level may have worn off and things are now comfortable. This is when expressing and showing that you are really listening to her wants and needs is super important AND that you know her better than she knows herself.
A guideline for this is to get her 1 thing that she totally doesn’t need but would not get for herself. Something to spoil her because she deserves it.
The other gifts can consist of practical, useful things that you know she likes and shows you know her well.
An example of a spoil herself gift would be something that is a little on the pricier side.
For example something she has been looking at on the internet for months, adding it to your shopping cart and constantly removing it because she feels horrible and guilty spending that much on herself.
Maybe a beautiful jacket, some really nice bed sheets, a piece of jewelry, reservations at a fancy restaurant, a purse, a watch. Again, something she would not buy for herself because she would feel guilty doing it.
Examples of practical gifts would be buying her favorite fancy makeup. But it has to be the right brand that she uses. Not just some generic one.
Another good idea would be a gift card to her favorite restaurant, a mani pedi, a day of babysitting, a membership to a wine club. Again, things that are practical and she uses but also finds pleasure in.
As I said before giving a gift to a woman can be tough. But it doesn’t have to be. Hopefully this guide has sparked some ideas for what to get her. Now it’s up to you to figure out which category your lovely lady fits into and which gifts you’ll be getting her this holiday season.
Still not sure what to get her OR how to decipher her subtle hints about what she wants and thinks about YOU… I can help. Try out my email coaching program for just $1 for the first 7 days! Write to me with any issue, concern and question about women and I will write you back with an answer within 24 hours (48 hours on weekends).